A6
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TuESDAY, FEbRuARY 19, 2019
Dealing with social anxiety
Dear Annie: I’m a fresh- want to be seen like that,
man in high school, and I’m and it stinks when the thing
starting to make friends. I fear most (my flaws being
I’m always trying to be silly exposed) becomes true.
with them. I guess I enjoy
Should I stop joking
the validation when
around so much?
DEAR
they laugh. But I
— Freshman
ANNIE
don’t want to be
Dear Freshman:
seen as too crazy
Your letter brought
to mind a saying: The
or immature. I also
mind is a wonder-
have social anxi-
ful servant but a ter-
ety, which means
rible master. It’s been
my interactions with
attributed to many dif-
others cause irra-
tional anxiety. That ANNIE LANE ferent sources, most
Creators
commonly
Robin
is why I want the
Syndicate Inc.
Sharma, though it
validation. But I
actually dates back
don’t just want to
be the “funny person” of the further than that, and the
group. I want to have good original orator is unknown.
Whoever said it understood
conversations.
One-on-one, it’s easier. I anxiety.
don’t know why the dynam-
The issue isn’t whether
ics change when there are you should stop joking
more people. I assume that I around. This is about becom-
get more anxious and I strive ing comfortable enough with
to be the center of attention. yourself to live in the pres-
But it kind of hurts when ent moment. Once you’ve
they tease me back or after- nurtured some more seren-
ward when I think my ity within, you’ll find your-
words were stupid. Peo- self interacting more nat-
ple have actually told me urally with others — still
I’m “weird” and that I made joking around plenty, per-
them “uncomfortable.” It haps, but not out of a need
makes me feel awful! I don’t for validation.
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). There are dynamics at
play that raise the stakes for key interactions. Do a
practice run in the mirror, in your head, on paper ...
whatever it takes to work it out and get you ready
and confident for the real thing.
Now, I realize “be com-
fortable with yourself” is
a tall order for someone in
high school. But there really
are practical steps you can
take toward finding some
inner calm. I recommend
seeing a counselor regu-
larly, if you’re not already.
I also recommend taking up
daily meditation. It might be
hard to believe that some-
thing so simple could make
a real difference, but there
is a growing body of scien-
tific evidence that meditation
can significantly reduce psy-
chological stresses, includ-
ing a 2014 meta-study by
researchers at Johns Hopkins
that found that mindfulness
meditation can ease anxiety
and depression.
Lastly, know that self-con-
sciousness is as much a part
of adolescence as acne. Even
though most of your peers
don’t have social anxiety
disorder, that doesn’t mean
they don’t experience social
anxiety. I guarantee you that
all of them sometimes worry
that they seem weird, silly
or unintelligent. You are not
alone.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Pick a target you can
stick with, then aim and shoot. Success does not
depend on getting it right the first time (or ever,
actually). Success depends on repeated efforts
toward the same goal.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’re a different
person than you were last week. That’s why, when
you revisit work you did then, you can see the
problems. And it’s also why you should put today’s
results in a drawer and come back to it a week
from now.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Your friends just want
to let loose, and prefer your brand of fun. But just
because they call on you doesn’t mean your own
agenda becomes suddenly less important. Keep
original plans, especially if they involve only you.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You know what it feels like
to be a little too afraid, or too proud, to go with
the flow, and this isn’t that. The flow is wrong. Re-
sistance may be difficult or even futile but it’s your
only option. What matters to you most is doing
the right thing.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Pay attention to how
you use that powerful tool called your voice. Also,
there’s much to learn in the the voices of others
(though much of it is animal-level information that
can’t be put into words.)
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). As a rule, you see incu-
riousness as a fault, as it signals self-centeredness
and possible intellectual stunting. However, today
brings an occasion in which you’ll be happy not to
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
be bothered by curious minds poking around in
your direction.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). The importance of
your position makes you the object of a sort of
attention that you shouldn’t take personally. Rec-
ognize that it’s the nature of the position and not
your own nature that engenders certain scenarios.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). There is no
objective way to prove the value of today’s inter-
action. It’s all what you make of it. Even if it doesn’t
lead to the outcome you were going for, you could
be better off for the miss.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). People who are
contributing to something often show up differ-
ently than people who are asking for something.
That’s a gap that the smoothest operators close.
Show up the same either way.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You have been
known to take part in such antics as presenting a
cheerful mood for no reason and supporting small
achievements with high enthusiasm. Today will be
a case in point.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Squabbling children
cry “no fair,” believing in a just world. Adults cry
“no fair,” knowing that justice is human construct
that has to be conceived, fought for and enforced.
Justice is rare but worth the fight.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Feb. 20). Over the
next 10 weeks, you bring greater imagination to
your problems and solve them quickly and with
pleasure. June’s personal breakthrough leads to
new sources of income and a change in your finan-
cial style. This affects key relationships. The beauty
and new perspective you seek will be found in a
far off Shangri-La. Libra and Gemini adore you.
Your lucky numbers are: 8, 19, 38, 6 and 50.