A6
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TuESDAY, FEbRuARY 5, 2019
Importance of communication
Dear Annie: I am ings and needs. They expect
extremely disappointed and others to read their minds.
saddened by your advice
Please, use your bully pul-
to “Sad in Wisconsin,” pit to stop the madness and
whose son’s family does not encourage people to com-
acknowledge the gifts “Sad municate. “Sad in Wiscon-
sin” obviously loves
in Wisconsin” gives.
DEAR
his son and wants
The writer answered
ANNIE
a good relationship
his own question,
with him. No longer
believing he should
sending gifts would
express his feelings
not accomplish that.
to his son. All you
Telling his son how
had to do was agree.
Instead,
you
he feels and what he
offered “three appar-
needs just might. I’d
ent options.” None ANNIE LANE also like to recom-
Creators
mend that you and all
of the three involved
Syndicate Inc.
of your readers check
actually telling his
out Marshall Rosen-
son how he feels.
You indicated that the best one berg’s books and some vid-
would be to just stop sending eos of his work on You-
gifts. Why? Why do so many Tube, as well as the Center
people in our society often for Nonviolent Communi-
choose to suffer in silence or cation. It’s life-changing.
“make someone pay” because — Disappointed
Dear
Disappointed:
they choose not to commu-
nicate with the person about What a wonderful letter you
their feelings and needs? You have written. Thank you!
of all people, a giver of advice Here is a letter from another
to millions, should encourage reader who agrees with you:
your readers to communicate
“Sad in Wisconsin” wrote
with others.
with the all-too-common
So much of the divide in issue of not receiving thanks
our country is because people for the presents he gives
don’t talk. They don’t listen. to his son and family. You
They don’t share their feel- offered three options:
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
“1) Keep sending gifts,
and make peace with the lack
of thank-yous. 2) Continue
sending gifts and resenting
the lack of thank-yous. 3)
Stop sending gifts.”
But you did not include
the most obvious option: Talk
to them. It doesn’t have to be
an accusatory conversation.
He should just point out that
the lack of acknowledgment
makes it look as if the gifts
are not wanted or are taken
for granted. “Sad in Wiscon-
sin” should also tell his son
that he hopes he keeps that
in mind in all of his rela-
tionships and that he hopes
he’ll teach that lesson to his
daughter better than he did to
him. If that discussion were
not to get results, he could go
straight to option No. 3.
No one had that talk with
my niece, and her lack of
basic manners cost her over
$1 million in inheritance (and
she’s still clueless as to what
she missed and why). Though
the purpose of thank-yous
is not to position oneself for
an inheritance, the attitude
adjustment is rewarding in
many ways. — Surprised by
Your Reply
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Scientific studies sug-
gest that many humans rate their skills and traits
as much better than they actually are. Then there’s
you, totally underplaying it all. Speak up! Too much
modesty means everyone could lose out.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). The power struggle is
between two parts of you, one that’s parental and
one that’s childlike. Both parts want what’s good
for you and what will make you happy, though
each has an extremely different definition of those
concepts.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’re feeling rather
uncharacteristically quiet, perhaps because you’re
still learning, observing and cataloguing what you
see, at least mentally. You’re just not ready to put
this education into words yet.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). You do certain things
because you want to make sure that your efforts
don’t go to waste. But in a way, once it’s out of
your hands, it’s no longer your business. Let go for
now completely. You can check back later.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Your parents gave you life,
but they didn’t give you (SET ITAL) their (END ITAL)
lives. In matters emotional, professional, spiritual
and practical, do it your way regardless of how
well it might please your parents or any other
authority figure.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). “You’re a lot,” said the
member of Generation Z to her overly dramatic
friend — a mild-sounding yet crushing insult.
You’ve been on both sides of this sort of dialogue.
It’s why you’re so careful and compassionate today.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). A person’s record may
be clean, but the real standard isn’t about what
a person has been caught and tried for. The real
standard is a matter of personal integrity that has
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
to be reconciled between the individual and the
higher self.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). How do you know
you’re being too hard on yourself? If the way you
push yourself or talk to yourself doesn’t advance
your purposes, and is in fact more of a hurdle than
a help, then you’re being too hard on yourself.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Favored activi-
ties include next level cleaning and organization,
the sort that handles the closets, files, drawers
and little-seen areas — maybe even the secret
chambers of the heart.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Creative pursuits
will show early signs of success, perhaps in the
interested eyes of others, the smiles, the excellent
questions you get about your process and goals.
This is exciting!
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’re never too
busy to be charitable when the call comes, though
often there is no call. To do good in the world
these days, you have to be proactive. Notice who
needs help, instead of waiting to be asked for help.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). The way a person
feels about himself, the way she sees her position
or exerts her power, these are the sorts of things
you can read rather easily today, and there’s a way
to use this for mutual benefit.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Feb. 6). Remember
when you thought you were functioning at full
capacity? Well you’ll do more this solar return
and you’ll do it better, and with greater love and
joy. The secret is losing what is excessive and
superfluous. Also of note — you’ll travel with loved
ones, at once expanding horizons and deepening
relationships. Cancer and Aries adore you. Your
lucky numbers are: 21, 5, 28, 3 and 10.