THURSDAY, JANUARY 31, 2019 // 3
SCRATCHPAD
Dude, sit down
A plea for
audience etiquette
By ERICK BENGEL
COAST WEEKEND
Y
ou’re at a well-at-
tended event. The
featured enter-
tainer has wrapped up, and
it’s time for the Q-and-A.
You’re looking forward to a
satisfying denouement.
Then it happens. They
happen. Sometimes you can
spot them before they even
open their mouths. Indeed,
you can practically hear
coast
them licking their lips in
anticipation, for their time
has come.
They are that small
but powerfully annoying
minority of audience mem-
bers who use their question
to do anything except ask a
question.
Instead you are treated
to bad jokes, or rants
loosely germane to the eve-
ning’s topic, or the specta-
cle of watching someone
attempt to banter beyond
their intellectual skill level.
And all you can do is qui-
etly cringe and thank the
INSIDE THIS ISSUE
weekend
arts & entertainment
ON THE COVER
From left: Gigi
Chadwick, Rick Grey
and Sheila Shaff er
rehearse a scene
from ‘Vanya and
Sonia and Masha
and Spike.’
PHOTO BY BOB KROLL
See story on Page 8
COASTAL LIFE
4
Catching Dungies
8
Family ties
12
David Campiche paints a word picture of scooping up crab
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DINING
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FURTHER ENJOYMENT
CROSSWORD ...............................6
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COAST WEEKEND EDITOR
ERICK BENGEL
LAURA SELLERS
CONTRIBUTORS
DAVID CAMPICHE
RYAN HUME
NANCY McCARTHY
BARBARA LLOYD McMICHAEL
PATRICK WEBB
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‘Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike’ is a comedy
about connections
MUSIC CALENDAR .....................5
gods you were born with
impulse control.
During my quasi-va-
cation last week, I caught
the New Yorker’s sati-
rist extraordinaire Andy
Borowitz at the Arlene
Schnitzer Concert Hall in
Portland, followed a few
days later by an Oregon
Humanities Conversation
Project presentation at the
city’s Alberta Rose Theatre
with three veteran report-
ers about journalism and
democracy.
Wildly different shows,
but they had much in com-
mon. Both had speak-
ers who touched on urgent
issues facing free societies.
Both were sobering, high-
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minded and fun, refl ecting
on where we are as a nation
and where we’re going.
And both had Q-and-As
that were briefl y hijacked
by spotlight junkies.
You’d think anyone
familiar with Andy Borow-
itz would instinctively
realize it’s not the bright-
est idea to try out stand-up
material on Andy Freak-
ing Borowitz, at least not
in front of hundreds of
spectators and with other
would-be questioners wait-
ing in line. One guy actu-
ally began his “ques-
tion” by informing the
comic that Portland, you
may have heard, is a city
where young people go
to retire — a “Portlandia”
line that had become stale
back when I was in col-
lege. Unless that guy was
Fred Armisen, he should be
ashamed of himself.
Borowitz shut these
clowns down hard and
fast, reminding them that
the nice people around
them paid to see Borow-
itz speak, not some random
dude using his question as
a pretext to showcase his
own comedic brilliance.
And don’t even think about
pulling that old trick, he
advised, of prattling on
about whatever and ending
with, “What do you think?”
(When an older gentleman
recited his poem, apropos
of nothing, at the Oregon
Humanities event, there
was no such public humil-
iation from the journalists
onstage. They were a polite
bunch. Pity.)
As a matter of audience
etiquette, please remember:
These events are not oppor-
tunities to focus group
test your hilarious mate-
rial, share aimless anec-
dotes about your fascinat-
ing life, lecture experts
about their fi eld like you
know better, or act as if you
and the headliner are old
friends unless you and the
headliner are, in fact, old
friends.
You know who you are,
and you’ve been warned. CW