THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, OCTOBER 4, 2018
FEATURES
He tries to wipe slate clean
Dear Annie: I thought my can, because he told me so many
husband and I had a great mar- lies. This was going on for almost
riage — until I looked on his a year. How can I believe that it
phone and found text messages wasn’t sexual? I am trying to act
to another woman. I was crushed. as if we are OK, but inside I feel
I asked him about it, and he said as if I am dying. Please help me to
that it was nothing and that there think this through. I need to figure
were only a few messages.
out whether I should stay
DEAR
When I checked our cell-
or go. I need some good
phone details, I was com-
advice. — Lost in Love
ANNIE
pletely devastated to find
Dear Lost in Love:
that it had been going
I’m so sorry for the hurt
on for almost a year and
you must be feeling.
there were almost 2,000
Your husband can’t sim-
ply reset your marriage as
text messages during the
he did his phone. It seems
past six months. When I
he expects that as long as
talked to him about this
Lane
he apologizes and stops
and all the lies he had told Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
talking to this woman,
me, he said he had lost his
everything should go back
way and he was sorry and
to the way it was before he decided
didn’t want to lose me.
We started counseling, but he to have an affair. And it was an
doesn’t want to discuss the details affair — if not a physical one, then
of the text messages and did a fac- an emotional one. Tell him that if
tory reset on his phone so I can’t you’re ever going to move past
see the messages. He said it was this, you need complete candid-
not a sexual affair, but his actions ness and vulnerability from him.
just don’t convince me it was just No more obfuscating the truth,
text messages. Now he thinks we changing the subject or destroying
are fine and our marriage will go the evidence. Anything short of
on, but I can’t stop myself from that would be placing a Band-Aid
thinking about what he may have on a deep puncture wound, and the
marriage would never heal.
done that I don’t know about.
How can I ever trust him
Dear Annie: I am a regular
again? I don’t know whether I reader of your column but was
frankly dismayed at your answer
recently to someone whose adult
brother was behaving heartlessly
toward his mother.
Our son has shown no inter-
est in us for a long time unless he
needs money. We, like the mother
in the letter, are grieving over this
behavior. When he was growing
up, we were generous and loving
parents. Do parents make mistakes
raising their children? Of course
they do. But does that give their
children an excuse to abandon
them as this young man apparently
has and as my son has also done?
I was always close to my par-
ents, even after getting married
and having a family, calling and
visiting frequently even though
they lived far away. Anytime my
dad or mom was in the hospital, I
was there, unlike the young man
in this letter. My parents are gone
now, and I have no regrets about
how I treated them.
There is absolutely no excuse
for this kind of behavior from a
child. — Another Mother in Pain
Dear Another Mother: I’m so
sorry you’re going through this.
I’m printing your letter with the
hope that it stirs some adult chil-
dren to pick up the phone and call
their parents.
5A
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). You are gra-
cious and social even when you don’t feel like
dealing with people. Somehow doing it any-
way just puts you right in the mood, and as a
direct result, good things happen for you.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Don’t underesti-
mate the power of feeling liked. Even people
who profess not to care if others like them or
not may in fact very much appreciate a sign
of your acceptance.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Should you stick
with what you know, or make a switch to the
new way? That’s the juncture you’ll come to
today and both paths have pros and cons.
Truthful testimonials and recommendations
will help you decide.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Since what you
say always reflects what’s going on inside
you, the easiest way to say the right thing is
to be the right thing. You may need to sort
through some feelings and get clarity. It will
step up your conversational game.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). The competitor with
nothing to lose will surpass the one who has
to make a strategic choice about what to
risk — an important consideration in today’s
proceedings.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). It’s the little ways
a person shows you that he or she is paying
attention that will go straight to your heart
and turn someone into your favorite in an
instant.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). The best way is
not to compare yourself to anyone. But since
that’s also a very unrealistic expectation of
yourself today, then at least compare yourself
to an example that is both attainable and
worthy of you.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). How can you
make things clearer to the most people with
the least amount of cost, trouble or time? The
answer may be in a sign. A message built
for all to read saves you having to whisper to
each person.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You’re
always training people. Each interaction is
a training. It never ends. Give a thought to
what you’re teaching as you go about your
day, specifically, how you’re teaching people
to treat you.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You’re
handling a lot of responsibility today but
you also needn’t take it so seriously. Keep
your perspective and your humor and you’ll
stay relaxed enough to handle anything that
comes up.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Set an expec-
tation early on about what you’d like to see
happen. Otherwise, you’ll wind up with all the
frustrations of a cat-herder.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You’ll have the
pleasure of getting to know someone through
teamwork on a project. It’s the best way to
learn what people are all about, and it will be
a very accurate picture of what future work
and play together will be like.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Oct. 5). Most
measures of joy, well-being and effort are
internal. Only you know what’s worth it
and what’s not. It’s your year to trust your
own assessments and do what makes you
happy. Highlights this solar return include an
extremely satisfying vacation, a new way to
enjoy your family and a metal of some kind.
Cancer and Sagittarius adore you. Your lucky
numbers are: 7, 40, 38, 22 and 18.