THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, JULY 13, 2018
FEATURES
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
Mother-in-law’s alcohol problem
Dear Annie: My mother-in- who cheated multiple times on
law is a very good person deep her. But she is even pushing this
down. She is a joy to be around — man away and is hateful toward
when she’s sober. But more and him when she’s drinking. On
more lately, she is not. And when numerous occasions, we have had
she’s not, she is hateful and vin- to cut her off from seeing our sons
dictive and blames everyone else because she is choosing drinking
for her problems. She has
over spending time with
DEAR
gone so far recently as to
them and us.
tell me something hap-
Of course, when we
ANNIE
pened to my 2-year-old
do this, we are the ones at
son when she was watch-
fault, and she doesn’t have
ing him that would require
a problem and doesn’t
medical attention — just
need help — and so on
to get me to leave work
and so forth. I hate what
early and pick him up
this is doing to my hus-
band, and my sons don’t
sooner than planned so
Lane
understand why they
she could start drinking. Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
can’t see her sometimes.
Annie, there was nothing
We have told the eldest
wrong at all with my son.
Whenever we call her out on one (he’s 10) what the real situa-
her drinking, she spews hate- tion is, and it absolutely breaks his
ful things at my husband and me. heart. Which I guess does actu-
She threatens to cut him out of her ally lead me to a question: Why?
will. She brings up things he did Why is the pull to drink so strong
decades ago (before he got smart that people will mess up perfectly
and sobered up and stopped drink- good relationships with friends
ing), and she has physically put and family? I understand that it
her hands on me. (This was years is an addiction, but why can’t she
ago, before we knew she had a and others see what they are miss-
problem; she was very good at ing out on and losing just to fill a
void for only a little while? And
hiding it.)
She now has the love of a man why does she want to potentially
who is wonderful to her, unlike her kill herself by drinking so much?
former husband of two decades, Doesn’t her future matter to her? I
just don’t understand, and I guess
I never will. I know that only she
can choose to help herself and that
she will only do so if and when
she’s ready. But the pain that we
are going through right now will
inevitably become irreversible.
And I don’t want that — for my
husband, my sons or me. Thank
you for taking the time to read this.
— Depressed Daughter-in-Law of
a Drinker
Dear Depressed Daughter-in-
Law of a Drinker: I am so sorry
that you’re going through this. To
ask “Why?” is to try to ascribe
rationale where there is none. The
disease of alcoholism does not
operate on logical terms.
I urge you to attend an Al-Anon
Family Groups meeting. I think
you’ll find it can be a great relief
just to be in a room full of peo-
ple who know exactly what you’re
going through. The meetings are
free and anonymous; you don’t
even have to talk if you don’t want
to. And if you don’t like your first
meeting, don’t give up. Al-Anon
recommends trying at least six
different meetings before decid-
ing that the program isn’t for you.
Visit https://al-anon.org to find
a meeting near you. It just might
change your life.
3C
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). No one can
change the truth, but the truth can change
everyone. It’s the light that brings plants up from
mud. It’s a curtain that opens to begin the show.
You already know the truth, so you don’t have to
seek it, only accept it.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Don’t be too quick
to form an opinion today, because you’re likely
to change it after you’ve had some time to
consider all of the different viewpoints. Your best
thinking will happen in private, in silence and
after the fact.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Obviously, writing,
painting, acting and other artistic disciplines
call on your powers of imagination. But not so
obviously, so does love. You imagine the best in
another person and project how you might exist
together.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Who are all of
these friends on your list, anyway? Are they buy-
ing tickets to the raffle when you’re fundraising?
Do they show up to your birthday party? Have
they ever even stepped a foot into your house?
It’s pruning time.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You’ve a different image
of yourself than the one currently being support-
ed by your lifestyle. Reconcile the discrepancy.
To make it match you’ll have to think differently
of yourself or do differently as yourself.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Just because you
were dropped into the environment doesn’t
make it your identity, but it does make it your
challenge to figure it out. And figure it out you
will, so long as you stick with it, resolving to
handle all that comes.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Because you’re
consciously and actively trying to improve your-
self, you’ll be analyzing the facts of your life a lot
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
more than usual. Keep in mind that it’s not what
you do but why you do it that matters most.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Someone who
won’t show you support is either withholding it
or incapable of it. Either way, you deserve better
communication. That’s a key part of healthy
relationships. Don’t settle in this regard.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). It would
be boring if life were always this smooth, but
for now, savor these good times. You can rest
assured that however tough things might get,
you’re tougher. So for now, relax and have fun.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). There are
many forms of knowing. The knowing that mat-
ters most to today’s outcome doesn’t center on
hard facts; rather, it circles the imaginative and
emotional realms, relying on the fuel of creativity.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Excessive
amounts of time in solitude and an absence
of social relationships are typically considered
unhealthy. But don’t be too quick to judge on the
matter. Alone time can also be healing.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You’re a magical
thinker. You see the potential in things that
others miss. It’s especially interesting when the
object of your projection misses it, too. But keep
seeing. Because your vision gathers power the
more you see it.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (July 14). Once
you marveled at how difficult it was to control
your impulses and know your own secret
agenda. This solar return comes as a welcome
reprieve, because self-direction gets simple.
You tell yourself what to do, and then you do it.
You’re brilliant at both planning and executing,
so you’re the master of your destiny. Gemini and
Sagittarius adore you. Your lucky numbers are:
3, 5, 35, 31 and 11.