The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current, April 05, 2018, Page 5A, Image 24

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Hearing loss revisited
Dear Readers: Recently, I essentially saying, “It’s not my
printed a letter from “Sad and problem. It’s your problem.” That
Frustrated Beyond Words,” who approach is simply ludicrous.
was at her wits’ end with her
My mother, who lived with
husband, who has hearing loss my dad’s worsening hearing for at
but refuses to get help. I told her least 10 years before he died, used
that she’s right that her husband to plead with Dad to get a hearing
should get his hearing
test. He refused to do so.
checked but added that
This woman is forced
to live with someone who
until he’s open to seeing
stubbornly refuses to take
a doctor, she should focus
steps to be a good com-
on her own mental health.
panion. Isn’t that a basic
I heard from many readers
responsibility and pact
who have experience with
between couples? Aren’t
hearing loss. I thought
we supposed to demon-
many of these responses
strate our love and respect
contain valuable points,
for the other person with
and I’d like to share some Annie
Syndicate Inc.
pleasant, helpful, consid-
of their wisdom.
erate behavior? Aren’t we
Dear Annie: Your
reply to “Sad and Frustrated supposed to take steps to correct
Beyond Words” is not helpful. bad behaviors and habits that hurt
I am a 65-year-old woman with our partners? Would you have the
hearing loss that began about same opinion if this woman wrote
seven years ago. Once I realized I to you that her husband refuses to
had some hearing loss, I ran (I did bathe? Not addressing one’s hear-
not walk) to my ENT specialist ing loss is, in my view, a form of
and audiologist to seek help and passive abuse, and it demonstrates
hearing aids. Here’s why. Hear- the person’s unwillingness to be a
ing loss does not just affect the good partner.
person suffering from it. Hearing
The reader’s husband is
loss affects everyone with whom unquestionably wrong in his
that person comes in contact. Your refusal to acknowledge his hear-
reader’s husband, who refuses to ing loss, and he may very likely
acknowledge his hearing loss, is lose his spouse as a consequence.
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
No amount of “meditation” will
improve your reader’s life unless
her husband takes steps to do
something about his hearing. —
Hearing Is Everyone’s Problem
Dear Hearing Is Everyone’s
Problem: You’ve made me real-
ize that perhaps my response
to “Sad and Frustrated Beyond
Words” was somewhat flip. Read
on for yet another reason peo-
ple with hearing loss should seek
medical help.
Dear Annie: “Sad and Frus-
trated Beyond Words” might want
to tell her husband that it could
possibly cause cognitive decline
if he can’t hear her or anyone else.
I believe that years of not hearing
anyone is part of the reason my
mother developed Alzheimer’s
disease. If you can’t have a con-
versation, then your brain isn’t
getting any stimulation and will
eventually shut down. — Been
Dear Been There: You’re
absolutely right. According to
hearing experts from Johns Hop-
kins, “older adults with hearing
loss are more likely to develop
problems thinking and remem-
bering than older adults whose
hearing is normal.” Thanks for
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Situations are not
stressful in their own right. It is our assessment
and interpretation that drives the stress levels
we experience. Thought of the day: There is
always another interpretation.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). The bigger picture
will not be served if you change the rules for
every individual request. Stick to the rules and
the structures today. If you make an exception
for one person, then you’ll have to make it for
all people.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Sacrifice is always
the necessary trade for things of value — no
sacrifice, no value. Instant gratification isn’t free.
It will be paid for eventually. Oddly enough,
those who get used to sacrifice begin to actually
enjoy it.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Human beings
behave irrationally. This is the rule, not the
exception. A lot of time and energy get wasted
complaining about irrational things other hu-
mans do. Conserve your energy by expecting
surprising problems.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You’ll come up with a
plan. They won’t all like it. Some, in fact, would
rally against it if they knew what it was. So, it’s
a good thing they don’t. Keep it like that for a
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). If you set out on
the journey ill-prepared and unsure, you’ll be
beginning the way most beginners do. This
is the magic (and fun!) of being a beginner
— inadequate means and imperfect odds of
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). When you find
yourself arguing with the basic tenants of
society — the way people dress, talk or drive
— it’s a sign that you’re due for some “me time,”
resting, breathing and stretching in more than
just physical ways.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). There are those
who know exactly what they want, and they are
very likely to get it. Though what happens after
that may be that they want something else. After
all, states of satisfaction can only last so long.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You’ll hear
from an old friend. You might be surprised by
different people’s trajectories, and they might
be surprised about yours. Surprise can be life
affirming. There is always more to know.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). “Would you?”
is a very different question from “will you?” And
while you’ll gather some interesting information
from the “would you?” question, all that matters
in the end is the “will you?” question.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). One behavior
will not suit all outcomes. For instance, what
you do to create trust is different from what you
do to elicit desire. Decide on what you want to
accomplish and work backward.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). When people are
doing a certain thing to fit in with the environ-
ment and you don’t feel compelled to do the
same thing, consider the very fun, adventurous
possibility that you might be better suited to a
different environment.
solar return has so many gifts for you — a new
way of thinking, a better place to work and
a chance to make a difference in the world.
Family bands together for a common cause.
Your investment in another person will prove to
be the best way to learn and grow. Your curiosity
will lead to a beautiful alliance. Gemini and
Capricorn adore you. Your lucky numbers are:
4, 40, 22, 11 and 9.