THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, FEBRUARY 26, 2018
FEATURES
Another look at photographs
Dear Readers: Recently, I much pain it causes his wife. To
printed a letter from “Never Gonna answer her question, no, this is
Be Good Enough.” She was fed up not just the way men are. It’s the
with her husband’s looking at tit- way he is. A man who truly cares
illating photos of women online about his wife and sees her as an
and was curious about how other equal partner in their relationship
readers have approached this issue does not treat her this way. A nar-
cissist who lacks empa-
in their marriages. The
DEAR
thy and cares only about
diversity of opinions is
his own needs and desires
remarkable.
ANNIE
Dear Annie: You
is “never gonna be good
invited readers to respond
enough” to be a real hus-
band. There is no middle
about husbands “fre-
quently
looking
at
ground that would work
women.” Many women
for both as you suggest.
have complained about
There is only total capit-
ulation by the wife (and
this to you. Could it be that
Lane
its attendant misery). My
most men are by nature Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
advice: Sweetheart, pack
attracted to viewing beau-
tiful women without any
your bags — or his — and
intention of being unfaithful to get out of this toxic relationship
their wives? Perhaps this is some- before you start to actually believe
thing wives (and girlfriends) just that you are to blame for your hus-
need to accept as natural and some- band’s juvenile, cruel, abusive
thing they shouldn’t get offended behavior. — Old Enough to Know
by. — Realistic and Honest Man
Better
Dear Realistic and Honest
Dear Old Enough to Know
Man: I appreciate your honest per- Better: I think the following letter
spective. Read on for a vastly dif- addresses the same issue to which
ferent one.
you speak — the husband’s appar-
Dear Annie: Your advice to ent lack of concern for her feelings
“Never Gonna Be Good Enough” — but with a bit more hope for
is worse than useless. He’s never redemption. Take a look.
going to change this habit that
Dear Annie: I wonder why this
gives him pleasure, no matter how man feels the need to tell his wife
that she is being ridiculous for feel-
ing insecure about his looking at
pictures of women on the inter-
net. Maybe it’s an attempt, albeit
a clumsy one, to reassure her. But
it’s disrespectful to judge some-
one’s feelings when she comes to
you with a concern. I’m thinking
that she might be more inclined to
feel better after a genuine (and gen-
tle) conversation about it.
Maybe looking at pictures of
pretty women makes him happy.
Why not just say so while reas-
suring her that he doesn’t find her
any less attractive because of it? —
Greg in NYC
Dear Greg: Agreed. And I
think the following letter under-
lines your point.
Dear Annie: What she should
really be concerned about isn’t her
husband’s actions. It’s his reaction.
Some men like to look at women
in that context; some don’t. But a
significant other is expected to be
understanding of his or her part-
ner and to make compromises.
Respect is the one boundary all
relationships should have in com-
mon. — Respect Is the Name of the
Game
Dear Respect Is the Name of
the Game: I couldn’t have said it
better myself.
5A
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). If it’s a strug-
gle, step back and consider whether you
really have the optimal setup for the task
at hand. With the right equipment you can
climb gracefully over the wall instead of
trying to knock through it.
tion — but it will get you there nonetheless.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Someone
close would give you exactly what you
needed if only he or she were privy to what
exactly that was. Maybe you don’t even
know. Keep trying to figure it out, though.
Stay experimental.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Inconve-
niences might be opportunities, interesting
backdrops or better. As it is with rain on the
wedding day, the less-than-ideal circum-
stance will be a harbinger of goodness to
come.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You have no
control over who is the best, but you have
complete control over your own ability to
get better. Your success happens when you
make improvement your goal instead of
having the goal to win.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Regarding
these people you admire, it’s not that they
have something you don’t have. It’s that they
have something you do have but haven’t
figured out how to use to the greatest effect
just yet.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Do the same
thing you’ve done and you’ll get more of
what you already have. Change it up and
who knows? You could use a little “who
knows?” in your world right now.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’ll be
presented with dim alternate views, not
unreasonable or untrue, but why dwell in
dusky areas? As Walt Whitman suggested,
“Keep your face always toward the sunshine
— and shadows will fall behind you.”
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You know that
dream you keep having about not being
ready for the job you’re asked to do? Well,
you’re getting more prepared every day.
Keep it up and you’ll soon be competent.
Competence will lead to confidence.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). It’s only human
to flinch in the face of success. One such
“flinch” comes in the form of needing things
to be perfect before making the next move.
Things will never be perfect. Just move.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Hey, what about
small actions made consistently? It’s not the
storybook way — that would be more like a
wave of the wand and a magical transforma-
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). One only
needs to turn on the news for a few minutes
to rediscover that people are the worst. One
only needs to talk to you for a few minutes to
have his or her faith in humanity restored.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You’re trying
to figure out life’s mysteries just like a lot of
people are. Maybe you don’t know any more
than some of the others, but someone has
to step up and be the authority. Why not
you? You’ll handle it quite well.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Feb. 27). The
gold medal doesn’t tell you who you are: You
do. You’ll work hard enough to get it without
worrying too much about the symbol itself.
You’ll have a strong influence in June: This
is a chance to really do some good in the
world. Scorpio and Aquarius adore you. Your
lucky numbers are: 6, 9, 45, 18 and 32.