6A
FEATURES
My toxic family members
Dear Annie: I am a 50-year- and tell me so. They have made
old married woman with two chil- fun of my hair color, my makeup,
dren. I am far from perfect, but I my weight, the fact that my house
do feel I am a decent person. My is clean — you name it! To them,
issue is my sister and my mom. I any part of my life or personality
have spent most of my adult life is fair game for attack.
trying to please both of them. I
They once took my son
walk on eggshells every
when he was small and
DEAR
time we have a family
drove him around and
function, because I never
grilled him because they
ANNIE
know what I’ve done that
thought he was being
they will be upset about.
abused. He had fallen
The latest blowup was
and hit his face on a
because I suggested a dif-
bleacher at the pool. My
ferent Christmas game. I
mom was there and saw
was yelled at by my sis-
the whole thing hap-
pen but pretended not
ter in front of my parents
Lane
to know. I worked for
and grandma, and they Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
Child Protective Ser-
all sat there and let her rip
vices at the time and was
me to shreds. I think they
humiliated. But thank goodness,
are afraid of her, too.
One year, she screamed at my son and I were interviewed,
me because I couldn’t pick up a so we could prove nothing bad
birthday cake for another fam- had happened.
ily member because I had to be
What do I do? I make myself
out of town for a few hours. That sick trying to please these two.
same week, my mom screamed at I make myself sick thinking I
me for a half-hour while I was at should cut the ties. Any sugges-
work, all because I couldn’t make tions? Talking to them doesn’t
this relative’s birthday supper. I work. — Sick of Them
Dear Sick of Them: You’re
plan and organize family birth-
days, get-togethers, etc., but my making yourself sick; you can
mom and sister come late, pick also make yourself better. Stop
fights and make me feel terrible.
trying to please your mom and
They don’t like my friends sister. In fact, stop trying to please
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 17, 2018
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
anyone. Act out of integrity and
with love and respect for your-
self. Take a break from seeing
or communicating with your rel-
atives for a while. Think of it as
a detox. Then, with a more clear-
headed perspective, decide what
level of relationship you can have
with them while still protecting
yourself. You may indeed need to
cut ties, or you may just need to
limit the frequency and duration
of visits. As you seem to have
internalized a lot of guilt, con-
sider enlisting the help of a ther-
apist for constructing and placing
boundaries.
Dear Annie: I had a friend
who went through a tough
breakup last year, and I was there
for her every day. This year, I
find myself going through some-
thing similar, but she’s too busy
with her new boyfriend to answer
the phone when I call, I guess.
Why is it that so many people
want your companionship during
rocky periods but can’t be there
for you when you’re in need?
— Bitter
Dear Bitter: The hard times
are great for showing you who
your real friends are. This woman
is not one of them. Don’t be bit-
ter. Do find better friends.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Aesthetic choices
are never really correct or incorrect. There’s not
one right way things should appear. So work
on such matters using the sensibility that best
represents your attractions, preferences and
delight.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). If you demand
a little more of your conversations, you’ll get a
lot of fun, insight and creative inspiration out of
them. But you have to be willing to focus on the
other person, staying alert to the openings that
lead a little deeper.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Ambition can be
an energizing force, but it can also be the thief
of contentment. There’s a balance to be struck
today so that you may swing into the future
while holding firmly to the handles of satisfaction
with the present.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). You are emotion-
ally invested in something that would otherwise
be a very clinical process. Rather ordinary daily
happenings will present a magic opportunity for
you to feel and make other people feel.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). The subject line is the
trickiest part of email. Your point, in and of itself,
may not be juicy enough to get someone to
open and read on. That sums up all communi-
cation today. To get heard will require thought
and pizazz.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Your version of
a good result may not match up with another
person’s. Chances are, your standards are
higher or just very different. Therefore it will be
important to make your expectations known up
front.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You can’t assume
that people know what you’re all about. This is
true even for people who, by now, really should.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
You’ll have to fill in the blanks today by giving
lots of context. This is a chance for fun and
self-discovery.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’ve seen it
time and again. Frustration and anger at others
is really anger with the self. It’s easier to see
when you’re not the one who is mad. Either way,
you’ll grow from today’s realization.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Start the
story from the beginning, and take your time
in the telling. People will be really interested in
you today and will want the chance to be fully
entertained by you.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Practice your
charm with strangers. It will be easier than using
it with people you know, because there’s no
build-up of expectation and you won’t be worried
about forgetting a name or some key piece of
information.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). “Well, actually,”
they say when they are about to point out how
wrong the other person is. This is annoying, at
best, and can be downright combative, so try to
ignore it when you hear it.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Keep building
your way forward, trying new things, introducing
unlikely elements and basically taking an exper-
imental approach to life. You might feel childish
and foolish before you ultimately feel victorious.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Jan. 18). Your
influence will grow through this solar return.
People will accept your help, act on your advice
and become successful in ways that benefit
themselves and you, too. There’s a breakthrough
in March, and the opportunities get challenging
and magical. Invest in April. Your creativity will
shine. How gratifying! Libra and Pisces adore
you. Your lucky numbers are: 6, 40, 1, 28 and 31.