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Poem for brand new drivers
Dear Annie: Your predeces- “Special favor,” I pleaded. “All
sor Ann Landers published a poem the kids drive.” When the 2:50
called “Dead at Seventeen” to get p.m. bell rang, I threw my books
the attention of new drivers and in the locker ... free until tomorrow
impress upon them the dangers and morning! I ran to the parking lot,
responsibilities of driving a car. excited at the thought of driving a
Might you have that on file some- car and being my own boss.
where? I have a 17-year-
It doesn’t matter how
DEAR
old granddaughter with
the accident happened. I
a new driver’s license,
was goofing off — going
ANNIE
whom I’d like to see it. —
too fast, taking crazy
Shirley in Indiana
chances. But I was enjoy-
ing my freedom and hav-
Dear Shirley: This
ing fun. The last thing I
poem has been making an
remember was passing
impression on teens for
an old lady who seemed
decades now and is as rel-
evant as ever. Here it is.
to be going awfully slow.
Lane
“Dead at Seventeen,” Annie
I heard a crash and felt
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
by John Berrio
a terrific jolt. Glass and
Agony claws my mind.
steel flew everywhere. My
I am a statistic. When I first got whole body seemed to be turning
here I felt very much alone. I inside out. I heard myself scream.
was overwhelmed by grief, and I
Suddenly, I awakened. It was
expected to find sympathy. I found very quiet. A police officer was
no sympathy. I saw only thou- standing over me. I saw a doctor.
sands of others whose bodies were My body was mangled. I was satu-
as badly mangled as mine. I was rated with blood. Pieces of jagged
given a number and placed in a glass were sticking out all over.
category. The category was called Strange that I couldn’t feel any-
thing. Hey, don’t pull that sheet
“Traffic Fatalities.”
The day I died was an ordi- over my head. I can’t be dead. I’m
nary school day. How I wish I only 17. I’ve got a date tonight.
had taken the bus! But I was too I’m supposed to have a wonder-
cool for the bus. I remember how ful life ahead of me. I haven’t lived
I wheedled the car out of Mom. yet. I can’t be dead.
Later I was placed in a drawer.
My folks came to identify me. Why
did they have to see me like this?
Why did I have to look at Mom’s
eyes when she faced the most ter-
rible ordeal of her life? Dad sud-
denly looked very old. He told the
man in charge, “Yes, he’s our son.”
The funeral was weird. I saw
all my relatives and friends walk
toward the casket. They looked
at me with the saddest eyes I’ve
ever seen. Some of my buddies
were crying. A few of the girls
touched my hand and sobbed as
they walked by. Please, somebody
— wake me up! Get me out of
here. I can’t bear to see Mom and
Dad in such pain. My grandparents
are so weak from grief they can
barely walk. My brother and sister
are like zombies. They move like
robots. In a daze. Everybody. No
one can believe this. I can’t believe
it, either.
Please, don’t bury me! I’m not
dead! I have a lot of living to do! I
want to laugh and run again. I want
to sing and dance. Please don’t
put me in the ground! I promise if
you give me just one more chance,
God, I’ll be the most careful driver
in the whole world. All I want is
one more chance. Please, God, I’m
only 17.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, JANUARY 11, 2018
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). It’s a day for
sweeping reform of small areas of your life —
as in closet-size or drawer-size areas. It will be
surprising how much a total reorganization of a
cupboard or a wallet can rock your world.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). It’s only natural
to become bored with things that stay the
same for too long. Then again, when change
is constant, change is the state that becomes
boring. Take this into account as you plan your
next move.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). If you’re feeling
adventurous, the best jewels of the day can
be mined in the caves of uncertainty, risk and
experimentation. So take courage and dig
deeper. It will be worth it.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). In a certain area
of your life, usual rules won’t seem to apply
anymore. Maybe your group imposed these
guidelines before you ever even had a chance
to hold them up to the light; to test them; to
wonder if you agree.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Your cosmic gift will be
a special charisma. Don’t be surprised if those
closest to you don’t notice it, though. Familiarity
breeds blindness. It’s your acquaintances and
the total strangers around who will warm to
you.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Momentum is
about decisive action. The excitement of a
game could help, especially with the right
opponent. Unless you are competing against
someone much younger or weaker than you,
don’t hold back. Give it all you’ve got.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Whoever said that
calendars are for careful people? No way! They
are for people who want to make their dreams
come true and also want to keep a record so
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
later they can remember how they did it. Mark
up your calendar.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). No one has it
all figured out. No one! So don’t plunk down
a bunch of money for the answer to your life.
Now, a reasonable sum for the answer to a
certain problem ... well, that’s different and
totally worth the money today.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You show
up to work even when you don’t feel like it, but
to attend social functions out of a sense of duty
is not advised. If you’re not into it, it’s better not
to commit yourself. People need to feel liked,
not tolerated.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). To know
there’s a difference between what things are
and what they could be is the unique privilege
and pain of human existence. You’ll make the
most of this today. Celebrate every nudge in
the right direction, however small.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Your escapes
will bring you great pleasure. Traveling? A
show? Reading? Indulge! As Groucho Marx
said, “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best
friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). The wise and
the strong are often merciful too — at least
enough so to forgive every person once or
twice. More than that and maybe they aren’t so
wise and strong after all.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Jan. 12). Lucky
projects will be your bounty! Because you
love the job at hand, you pour yourself into the
details, creating as much perfection as you
can. You’ll cement a stellar deal in April. You’ll
be applauded by community in July. There’s a
healing in October. Pisces and Virgo adore you.
Your lucky numbers are: 44, 49, 4, 17 and 28.