THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, DECEMBER 1, 2017 FEATURES Endgame with an abuser Dear Annie: For 37 years, agers, he started abusing them I’ve been married to a sociopath. verbally. My two elder chil- When “Robert” and I met, dren and I eventually ended up he was sweet, charming and in therapy, where we learned to thoughtful. His father was an deal with this man. Now they are alcoholic, mean physically in their 30s, and they still bear and emotionally. Robert said emotional scars from things he he never wanted to be did or said. Robert has DEAR like that. When our first always refused coun- seling, by the way. He child was born, he was ANNIE will not discuss his a good father. But when moods with the family I was pregnant with our doctor. He thinks the second child, things problem is everyone changed. He cheated but him. on me. When I had the I became disabled child and was released a few years ago. We from the hospital, I Lane have a younger child, waited for three hours Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. a 16-year-old, and my for him to come pick main concern right me up and meet his new daughter. He never came. He now is protecting him. Robert is technically still my husband but was out with another woman. I was going to leave, but he is never around; he calls just to sought forgiveness. Being in a make sure I’m taking care of his deep depression, I agreed. In the stuff. He will be 59 1/2 in a few years since, he’s cheated on me months, and he’s planning on many more times. taking the money in his 401(k) I went back to work. Rob- and leaving us all. ert got off work at an early hour Robert and I have properties. and was supposed to pick up He promised that each child the kids from day care. But he would be added to the deed of wouldn’t. He often went out all one place. I also need his med- night “fishing,” yet he never ical insurance, and I feel that I am entitled to half of everything caught any fish. When the kids became teen- plus child support and maybe even spousal support. But I cannot get the money to retain a good lawyer. How do I leave this man and not be a pauper so I can protect my minor child? — Desperately Need Help Dear Desperately: The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides assistance to victims of abuse, whether phys- ical or emotional. The people there can refer you to resources in your state. Call them at 800- 799-7233 today so you can begin safely planning for a new life that doesn’t include your abuser. Dear Annie: I have a solu- tion for “Free Bird,” the man who wants to be clothes-free but whose wife does not want to attend nudist events. He said he researches nud- ist locations online. If he found all-male events, he could satisfy his joy of being naked outside, and his wife would be satisfied that his joy is not being around naked women. — Linda Dear Linda: I like your idea. It’s a simple, practical way for “Free Bird” to find a like- minded flock without ruffling his wife’s feathers. Thanks for writing. 3C TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). You were blamed for something that wasn’t your fault, but that’s just part of love. Two people in love project things, mistake each other’s identities, see only who they want to see instead of who is actually standing before them. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). There is no circumstance or person who is completely on one side of morality. “All human beings are commingled out of good and evil.” — Robert Louis Stevenson GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’re finding out that it’s better to have numerous friends than to depend on one person for affection. Tonight you’ll be the star, so dress the part. You’ll enjoy it more when your outside reflects the role. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Those close to you have needs, but you’re not the only one who can fill them. Check in with yourself. As- sess what you have to give. The saying goes, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You’ll reel in the admirers with your social ease. And as long as you stay aware of other people’s sensitivi- ties and steer clear of them, you’ll keep those admirers. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). A level of detach- ment will help you achieve the peace you crave. Neutrality helps you recognize the con- sequences of any action. Often consequences are neither reward nor punishment — just the cause of another effect. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Financial exchang- es are clean, but there’s something magical about volunteer exchanges that beats a clean deal. Tonight a friend’s introduction will set off a chain of fortuitous events. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’re not sure what someone wants from you, but you know there’s something. Get closer and find out. Extend a social invitation, and let the conver- sation fly loose and lively. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Just because you’re fortunate (and there are many ways in which you have been blessed) doesn’t mean you’re happy. Normalcy must be breached! Challenge! Change! All are neces- sary components of joy. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Today you’re more of a pen than a pencil. Pencils are creative and flexible, willing to be erased, blended, reworked. Some days you’re like that, but today your moves will be bold — maybe even indelible. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). While the scenario at hand may be very fun, you’re also being assessed inside of it. People are getting to know your style, and they are testing your character by your reaction to freedom and temptation. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Attention-need- iness is a turnoff to you. You strive to be self-sufficient emotionally and every other way. Unfortunately, you can’t be. No one is. People need people. The question is, how much? TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Dec. 2). Your heart connections are what fortify and inspire you, and in the months to come your expres- sions of love will be received in kind. Because you’ve been a stellar team player, you’ll feel what it’s like for the whole team to rally behind you — awesome! There’s a payoff in February and another in July. Aquarius and Cancer adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 7, 20, 44, 19 and 32.