THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2017
FEATURES
Ex-husband still controlling
Dear Annie: I divorced an crazy. She’s blocked me from
extremely wealthy, abusive and communicating with her in any
narcissistic man five years ago. way. I also have had problems
My divorce was a horror. He getting ahold of my college-age
hacked my phone, email and Face- son. (I found out his dad blocked
book account and put a tracking my number on the cellphone he
device on my car. He put listen- pays for.) I believe they learned
ing devices, maybe even
to abuse me from their
DEAR
cameras, in my home and
father.
had private investigators
I feel that my ex is
ANNIE
follow me. (I have wit-
still controlling my life.
nesses to all this.) He told
And there is nothing I
me he would “ruin” me
can do, considering his
when we got divorced,
power and money. How
and believe me, he has
do I get back control of
tried. He has taken my
my life? How do I ever
mostly adult kids away
get my daughter back?
Lane
on almost every holiday Annie
I have tried writing her
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
(great trips they don’t
snail-mail letters explain-
ing my hurt, but that has
want to turn down) since
the divorce, even flying them all not solved this problem. How do I
out of town on my 50th birthday. get through to my kids? Do I ever
I want to add that I was a faithful get my kids on holidays? They are
wife during our 30-year relation- all older than 18, so going to court
ship, while he was a cheater. I left would not help. — Ostracized
him once in the marriage for hav-
Dear Ostracized: First, I’m
ing an affair with a friend of mine. so sorry for what you’ve gone
I was a good stay-at-home through. I understand that you’re
mother, highly involved in my extremely focused on getting
three kids’ activities. My kids your children back in your life;
were and are my life. My eldest any parent would feel the same
daughter called me “a dream way. But right now, I’m more
mom” before the divorce. But worried about you. You were in
since the divorce, that daugh- an emotionally abusive relation-
ter has turned on me, calling me ship for 30 years. Those psycho-
logical scars don’t heal overnight
— especially when your ex-hus-
band is doing everything he can to
see that they don’t. Before recon-
necting with your adult children,
who are still under the spell of
their father, you must learn how to
love yourself and set boundaries.
I strongly encourage you to seek
counseling.
Dear Annie: One year ago,
I notified my sister about my
daughter’s wedding so that she
could save the date. She just
received the formal invitation, and
she called and said that her best
friend had asked her to be maid
of honor in her second wedding
on the day before my daughter’s
wedding and that she had decided
to accept her friend’s invitation.
She still can fly in the next morn-
ing and make the late-afternoon
wedding. I’m totally stunned and
deeply hurt. I thought she was a
loyal family member. I flew my
three children and wife to her
daughter’s wedding at quite an
expense, so you can see why I’m
shocked over this. Any sugges-
tions? — Snubbed by Sister
Dear Snubbed by Sister: As
long as she still makes it to your
daughter’s wedding, I say let this
one go.
5A
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Your goal really is
to find the solutions that are best for everyone,
and that’s what you’ll do — just as soon as
people understand that your aim is true. Trust
and rapport are built slowly. Put the other
person first.
territory.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You’ve been
compromising quite a lot lately, mostly
effectively, causing satisfaction throughout the
group. This is excellent for your social life, but
it’s time to do something just for you, exactly
the way you like it.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You think
you’re arguing about the truth, but if you’re like
most people, you aren’t. Most arguments are
to serve or eradicate a feeling. The truth will
outlast the argument. The truth is inarguable.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). The feeling that
you’d like to escape will likely come when
circumstances seem either too boring or too
exciting. So go. If you can’t remove yourself
physically, a book or movie will do the trick.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). There will be
no lone geniuses today. Any greatness that
happens will be a group effort. It doesn’t even
have to be a particularly good group to bring
out your best today.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You want to be seen
in a certain way. Making that happen will be
grueling, tedious, expensive and thankless
work. So think about whether the result is
really worth going all in, because that’s what
it will take.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You don’t have to
like what you’re asked to do to approach the
request with good cheer. Your attitude will be
what helps you rise to a new level of respect
and prominence.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You’ll have your
reasons for doing more today. You’re not trying
to impress anyone. This is about finding out
what your limits really are. So go on and push
yourself into uncomfortable (but not painful)
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’ll switch
the channel in your mind from the doubt and
worry network to the action channel. Better
results will come from overworking than from
overthinking.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Oscar Wilde
once put it like this: “The world was my oyster,
but I used the wrong fork!” Ignore social
formalities at your own peril. If you don’t know
then read, ask or observe until you pick up on
what you’re supposed to do.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). When people
want what you have, it’s both flattering and
frustrating. They often act as if you got there
by luck. Outsiders just don’t realize the effort
that went behind all this. It will be your job to
enlighten.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Think it over;
write about it; talk about it with a trusted friend.
Self-reflection will help you uncover your mo-
tivation for upholding bad habits and help you
find a healthier way to meet your needs.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Nov. 29). Hap-
piness is not the goal. To change something,
help someone, make a lasting impression
on the world and set up a future you can be
proud of — that’s the goal. Happiness will,
however, be a byproduct of your efforts — as
will sweat and toil. The more you can tolerate,
the richer you’ll be (financially and otherwise).
Leo and Pisces adore you. Your lucky num-
bers are: 8, 40, 11, 19 and 32.