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THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 2017
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Volunteers hand out soup and coffee at the Astoria Warming Center at First United Methodist Church in 2015.
HOSPITALITY
A BUILDING BLOCK OF SOCIETY
widening its circle. Lucky that my church
has become more welcoming. And lucky
that we have many folks here who share
Billy’s concern.
When we reach
out in kindness
and acceptance,
we nudge people
toward goodness
Friendsgiving
By KIT KETCHAM
For The Daily Astorian
H
ospitality, the offering of wel-
come and assistance, can be
one of those daunting social and
spiritual practices that is easier said than
done.
Long ago, a congregation I was serv-
ing was surprised by
an unusual visitor who
arrived one Sunday
looking for a place of
welcome.
“Stalking Cat,” aka
Dennis Avner, was a
Native American who
had his body surgically altered to resem-
ble his totem animal, a tiger. His face
took on a feline shape, he used contact
lenses to give his eyes a catlike appear-
ance, and his mouth resembled a cat’s
lips. Cat was featured on the TV program
“Ripley’s Believe It or Not!” He died in
November 2012.
We rose to that challenge, thankfully,
and grew from what we learned about
Cat’s journey and his reasons for altering
his appearance as he had.
We humans are often suspicious of
anyone who isn’t like us. And hospital-
ity can be tough when we need to offer
acceptance and welcome to someone
very different, someone who may appear
frightening or unusual.
We are protective of our children and
ourselves. We are concerned about look-
ing foolish. We are leery of being conned,
and we may worry about the effect of a
stranger on our families or on our quiet
lives.
Yet as the prophet and teacher Jesus
made very clear in one of his parables:
“Inasmuch as you have done it unto one
of the least of these, my brothers and sis-
ters, you have done it unto me,” remind-
ing us that each being is worthy of kind-
ness and assistance in time of need.
I occasionally join an elderly friend
named Billy in his booth at Geno’s on
Sunday night for my Grannyburger and
tater tots. He’s a veteran of the Korean
War, lives across the river and drives over
Pat Wollner
“Friendsgiving” 2015 at Pat Wollner’s house in Gearhart
to Astoria nearly every day to sit at Geno’s
and talk with friends who come and go.
He’s concerned about all the veterans
and other homeless folks he sees on Asto-
ria’s streets. Why are they there? Where
can they go? Can they get jobs? Who is
responsible? Does anyone care?
‘Come on up’
A Tom Waits’ song “Come On Up
To The House” runs through my mind
as Billy and I talk, and I think, “They
could come on up to the Astoria Warm-
ing Center” — and then I remember that
the Warming Center’s legitimacy has
been challenged and threatened with clo-
sure. Will it be available when it’s most
needed?
Another person feels lonely because
she has few friends like herself and
doesn’t know how to find others who
share her world. “Come on up to the
Lower Columbia Diversity Coalition,” I
think, and then remember that a lot of our
members are straight, white and abled.
Will she find what she needs there?
I meet someone looking for a new
church home where he can share his lib-
eral faith without needing to recite a creed
or sing songs that are not in tune with
his beliefs. “Come on up to our Fellow-
ship,” I think, and when he does, I over-
hear some critical words about another
faith. Will our congregation be a good fit
for him?
Then I go to the Astoria Library and
notice that somebody must have said,
“Come on up to the library,” because sit-
ting at a table reading a magazine is an
older guy with raggedy clothes, a wild
beard and a backpack beside his chair.
And at one of the computers is a young
woman looking for a job. And a woman
with several little kids is hanging out in
the children’s section. Quite a few people
are coming on up to the library.
There just aren’t many places where
people are welcomed no matter who they
are or what they need.
Lucky we have the library. Lucky we
still have the Warming Center. Lucky the
Lower Columbia Diversity Coalition is
Hospitality, giving kindness and sup-
port to people we don’t know, even peo-
ple who are scary-looking or very differ-
ent from us, is one of the building blocks
of a healthy society. When we set aside
our fears and reach out in kindness to
another, we nudge that person toward
goodness, encouraging more kindness
rather than anger.
Like everyone who appreciates an
act of hospitality, I’m no different. As a
pastor who has lived in several differ-
ent communities, many miles from close
family members, I am used to the idea
that I might be eating alone on a holiday.
I have my go-to plan, just in case, and I’m
usually content to fix a special meal for
myself or invite guests over.
One act of hospitality was new to me,
and when my friend Pat Wollner invited
me to “Friendsgiving” not long after I
arrived on the North Coast, I entered
a world of friendship that I had not
known before. (Friendsgiving, in case it’s
new to you, too, is a holiday feast with
good friends, not a typical gathering of
relatives.)
When Pat, whom I’d met through vol-
unteering with the local land trust, invited
me to join her and several of her friends,
I was both tickled and nervous.
What if my chili-spiced sweet pota-
toes didn’t go over so hot? What about
all those high-calorie side dishes and des-
serts? Would they ask me to say grace?
What if my Unitarian grace-giving
offended someone? I need not have wor-
ried. It was a wonderful afternoon.
We all have opportunities to offer
kindness and acceptance, whether it’s an
invitation to a meal or coffee at Coffee
Girl. And we all need and deserve kind-
ness and an opportunity to express our
gratitude for that kindness.
Thank you, Pat, and my Friendsgiv-
ing friends.
Rev. Kit Ketcham is the minister of
the Pacific Unitarian Universalist Fel-
lowship in Astoria. She volunteers with
the North Coast Land Conservancy,
ENCORE (a program through Clatsop
Community College that serves retirees),
and is currently working with local musi-
cians to produce a Pete Seeger Tribute
Concert and Singalong. She is a native
Pacific Northwesterner and has always
wanted to live on the North Coast.