6A FEATURES Dessert isn’t the problem Dear Annie: My husband and them. No change. What now? — I have both been married before, Fed Up in Florida and our children are from our first Dear Fed Up: It’s considerate marriages. My husband’s daugh- of you to cook healthful meals for ter lives close by, and she brings your family, and it was thought- her kids to our home often, which ful of you to have a heart-to-heart we all enjoy. The problem is that with your daughter-in-law about this sensitive issue. Your every time they show up DEAR husband might consider — even when they know periodically encourag- we are preparing a meal ANNIE ing her to stay strong for them, even prior to in teaching her chil- big holiday meals — dren better eating habits, they get out of their car reminding her that she’s with empty bags and par- tially consumed bever- the boss — and that her ages from a popular fast- children in fact need her food chain. to be the boss. Lane This drives me Annie But in the end, there’s Creators Syndicate Inc. insane! My husband nothing you can do to just shrugs and says that force her to stop buy- there’s a reason they are all over- ing fast food. The only person weight and that nothing we say you can control is yourself. The or do will change their behav- sooner you accept this the sooner ior. When his daughter asked me you’ll be able to relax and enjoy not to always make a dessert to the time with your family. accompany our otherwise health- Dear Annie: I must dis- ful meals because she was wor- agree with your assessment that ried about “how big the kids are “no problem” means the same getting,” I had a heart-to-heart thing as “you’re welcome.” The with her about how awful the fast phrase “no problem” carries with food is for the kids. Her reply was it the implication that if the task that she just can’t say “no” to her had created a “problem” for the kids and is just too tired to cook. server (or whoever uttered it), I told her that is why we are try- perhaps she might not have car- ing to help by making meals for ried it out so nicely — or at all. “You’re welcome,” on the other hand, has a much more gra- cious implication: that the person would have done this task for you no matter the cost to herself. Words matter, and there is no use pretending that they don’t carry a lot of freight. Better to use them thoughtfully. — English Major Dear English Major: I see no evidence that “no problem” car- ries that implication, but I love a good linguistic debate, so I’m printing your letter — followed by a different viewpoint. Dear Annie: “Out of Touch” was annoyed that a popular response to “thank you” is “no problem.” My husband and I were annoyed by that also, until I realized that the traditional replies in French are “jet’en prie,” which is somewhat equiva- lent to “don’t worry about it,” and “de rien,” “of nothing.” In Span- ish, “de nada” also means “it was nothing.” So maybe it’s not a mil- lennial thing. Maybe it’s cultural, global stuff and millennials are really sophisticated! OK, I went too far with that. — Ann-Marie Dear Ann-Marie: Merci beaucoup for the language lesson. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2017 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). You’ll learn by listening, and it will be pleasurable learning indeed! You’ll especially like hearing the sto- ries of those much older or much younger than you. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). There will be a lot of moving parts. The thing about keeping it simple — well, that bus left weeks ago. It’s all good, though. Your able mind will delight in the complication and details. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). In the interest of living fully, you’ll risk going too far. And why not? You’ve already experienced what it’s like not to go far enough, which is to say it bears little to nothing in the way of results. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Being too careful causes stumbles worse than being reckless, so go a little mad with it today. You can handle the squirrely parts. You’re brilliant at that, really! GEMINI (May 21-June 21). These gifts you were given will go to excellent use, and it will thrill you to share them. The best part of the day will be spent adapting things to fit what’s needed. Your contribution will be essential to the success of the day. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). If you could download your body of knowledge into the mind of a loved one and still retain it — if that would help matters — you’d do it in a heartbeat. But all you can do is piece it out, little by little. It will be gratefully received. CANCER (June 22-July 22). It’s not fun to go without when those around you have plenty. And yet, you’re better for having done this in your lifetime. You trust your instincts, and your character is strong. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Take the day beat by beat, the way you sing a song. You can’t sing the next part of the song while you’re singing the part of the song you’re on. Ap- proach the day like this: Your whole self only doing the part you’re on. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Making other people happy makes you happy. And then when they’re not, you’re not. And though you really can’t control how other people feel, something about the equation will really work for you today. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). To be soft and easy is the goal. Even the toughest person will benefit from letting go of some rigidity now. Warmth, peace, togetherness — these are the qualities that will rule the day. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Knowing what people are doing and being able to predict their next moves will be key to figur- ing out how to turn the day’s events in your favor. And they should go in your favor. It will be better for all if they do. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). The events of the day will really capture your imagination and time-released inspiration. You’ll espe- cially love finding out how other people do things different from your way. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Nov. 23). More than any other factor, pacing will determine your success this year. Take things at the speed you can best control, and seek peo- ple who are moving similarly on this high- way of life. You’ve outstanding good fortune in business at the start of 2018. Midyear will bring the lifestyle enhancements you crave. Cancer and Virgo adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 28, 47, 20, 33 and 10.