14 // COASTWEEKEND.COM
Coast Weekend’s local
restaurant review
AVENUE Q PIZZA
Just killer pizza at Avenue Q
Review and photos by
THE MOUTH OF THE COLUMBIA
MOUTH@COASTWEEKEND.COM
FACEBOOK.COM/MOUTHOFTHECOLUMBIA
W
ith rigorous, laser-like
mastery of the basics,
Seaside’s Avenue Q Pizza
excels humbly.
For owner/operator Matt Kaffer
— aka the “one man pizzeria” —
the ethics of minimalism, reverence
and austerity are all-encompassing.
Avenue Q, which opened in mid-Ju-
ly, is almost Zen-like — a pizza
monastery.
“I think simplicity is a big part
of it,” said Kaffer of what makes
a great pie. “And that’s something
that a lot are missing.”
In pursuit of such sublimity, Av-
enue Q eschews distraction. There
are no salads. No buffalo wings. No
twisty-breads.
Just pizza. Killer pizza.
Kaffer approaches bread-sauce-
cheese bliss after years of study and
practice. He said he’s worked at
something like eight or nine pizzeri-
as over the years and distilled those
varying styles and techniques into
something all his own.
It starts with the crust. And no
matter your preference, pizza is
only as good as its crust. Avenue
Q’s is essential and deliberate.
Kaffer employs a slow-fermentation
process that hearkens back to early
bread-making. Yeast is used, but not
that much.
In paraphrasing influential food
writer Michael Pollan, The Guard-
ian summarized the science: “a long
fermentation process allows bacte-
ria to fully break down the carbohy-
drates and gluten in bread, making
it easier to digest and releasing the
nutrients within it, allowing our
bodies to more easily absorb them.”
According to The Guardian (and
Pollan), that’s a rarity these days.
“Speeding up of the bread-making
process for mass consumption has
so radically altered what we know
as bread in the last century that it’s
Rating:
1575 S. Roosevelt Drive
Seaside, Ore., 97138
503-739-7396
Hours: noon to 8 p.m.,
Wednesday through Sunday
Price: $ – terrific value
Service: humble, devoted
Vegetarian / Vegan Options:
Margherita not to be over-
looked
Drinks: soda, water
KEY TO STAR RATING SYSTEM
Below average
Average
Good
Excellent
Best in region
Clockwise from top: Canadian bacon pineapple, margherita, capocollo, pepperoni
pillowy, texture and a crisp edge.
no longer as easily digested.”
And while hewing to old-coun-
Slow-fermented breads are also
try bread making serves Avenue
lighter, airier, less-dense. The gly-
Q’s crust, so, too,
cemic content is
does restricting
reduced. In short:
what goes on top
They’re healthier,
KAFFER
of it. The tomato
less bloating and,
APPROACHES
sauce is basic,
most important,
sharp, unsweet-
they taste better.
BREAD-SAUCE-
ened. Cheese is
As Kaffer put
CHEESE BLISS
a combination
it, his is “more
AFTER YEARS
of wet and dry
like hearth bread.”
OF STUDY AND
mozzarellas.
The wheat comes
PRACTICE.
Toppings are
through.
curbed in such
You’ll notice
a way that it’s
slow-fermented
actually possible to list them all
and properly-cooked pizza by the
here: pepperoni, sausage, Canadian
“leopard spots” — that is, a few
bacon, capocollo, mushroom, red
charred ovals contrasted against an
onion, black olive, basil, arugula
otherwise light crust. Those spots
and pineapple.
indicate big airy pockets inside
If you had to classify Avenue Q’s
the dough, bubbles ensuring light,
pies beyond Kaffer’s own, classic
Italian would be the most appropri-
ate comparison. (New York-style
is much floppier, overwhelmed
by oceans of thick, greasy cheese.
And, compared to Kaffer’s thin
crust, Chicago-style might well be a
savory cake.)
There are a few pre-made slices
ready to go after a brief re-heat.
They vary a bit but usually in-
clude something like Canadian
bacon and pineapple (and with the
unsweetened sauce, the sugars of
the Canadian bacon and pineapple
really sing); pepperoni (though I
prefer the capocollo, a salty, rich,
thin-sliced cured pork); and a few
vegetarian riffs on margherita that
you shouldn’t sleep on (finished af-
ter heating with fresh-cut basil and
a drizzle of olive oil, the margherita
has entrancing depth).
Also fitting of Avenue Q’s
uncomplicated aesthetics, all pies
are 16 inches. (No small, medi-
um, large). Slices — or, rather,
one-quarter of a whole pie — are a
great deal at just $4. Whole pies run
from $13-18, which is also a strik-
ingly fair price (not to mention a
far cry from the offensive $30-plus
affronts that have become common
in the region).
There are some limits to his
restraints, though. And while I’ve
never walked into a pizza joint
then walked out for lack of BBQ’d
chicken, white sauce, artichoke
hearts, or pine nuts, there were
times at Avenue Q I sure would
have liked a beer to go along with
my slice. (As I understand it, an ap-
plication for a beer and wine permit
is underway.)
And while I find an odd charm
in the completely undecorated,
almost barren interior, some may
find it less than inviting. But don’t
let the liquidation-sale furniture or
the towering sign out front featur-
ing long-bygone tenants (“Herb’s
Burger’s”) fool you: Avenue Q isn’t
flashy, but the pies are fabulous.
With more time and resources,
there’s no reason to think Kaffer
won’t perfect the environment,
too. CW