6A
FEATURES
Spouse feeling left behind
Dear Annie: My wife and I ciate that you’re worried about
have been happily married for looking selfish and sullen, but
eight years and were blessed with you’re being pretty reasonable,
healthy triplets four years ago. considering the circumstances. I
My problem is that every year, don’t think anyone would blame
my wife’s generous employer you for feeling overwhelmed by
takes the entire staff on an incredi- caring for triplets on your own
and working a full-time
ble trip. I’m talking Napa,
DEAR
job.
Europe, etc.
So communicate. Let
It’s wonderful of him
ANNIE
your wife know how
and wonderful for the
these trips make you feel
employees.
However,
and that you’re not trying
spouses are not included
to send her on a guilt trip;
in the invitation. I would
you just want to avoid
gladly pay my own way,
resentment. From there,
and we would then be
you two can find a solu-
able to experience these
Lane
tion that works for both
trips together. Instead, I Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
of you, such as arrang-
stay home, working my
ing for a reliable sitter to
full-time job and taking
help out while she’s gone or plan-
care of our children.
I feel left out of being able to ning a vacation for just the two of
enjoy this with my wife, as well you soon.
Dear Annie: I was impressed
as resentful of my time at home
without her. Of course, I want her by “Peacemaker in Pittsburgh,”
to go and am happy for her, but the writer who still has friends on
on the other hand, I am having a all sides of the political spectrum,
hard time talking to her about it, as many have become too polar-
and it is difficult to be supportive ized to be friendly anymore. He
of her anticipation of the upcom- wrote about having trouble with
ing trip. Do you have any advice these friends’ continual efforts
on how to handle this or even deal to persuade everybody to come
with my conflicting emotions? around to their points of view,
dragging down social occasions.
— Homebound
Dear Homebound: I appre- I think he has an opportunity to
change the tone of these conversa-
tions, maintain the friendships and
set a positive example. We can
all do this: Listen. Ask individu-
als why they think a certain way
(how their personal values led to
their viewpoints). Ask them about
when certain beliefs first started
for them. Give them a chance
to talk. Make sure they’re done
before you start. Don’t interrupt
them, and ask others not to inter-
rupt or give support. Try saying,
“That’s interesting. Tell me more.”
Ask about their goals and hopes,
as there are likely to be some you
share. Then explain your own
frustration, too. If you’ve heard
something that seems misguided,
try saying, “Hmm, that’s not been
my experience.” Then offer an
account of what values and expe-
riences caused you to form a dif-
ferent opinion. I’ve been helped
by Essential Partners’ guide titled
“Reaching across the divide”
(available at http://whatisessen-
tial.org). — Vermont Grandma
Dear Vermont Grandma:
Thank you for the helpful sugges-
tions. I’m sure many people could
use that guide. I look forward to
hearing from readers who try
incorporating those tips into their
conversations.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, AUGUST 24, 2017
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Negative emotion
is nothing more than a contradiction between
what is and your opinion of what should be. Re-
solve the contradiction and the feelings become
positive.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Illusion dissolution
is difficult because the very nature of an illusion
is that you can’t tell where the fake part starts
and the real part ends. Anyway, why be so
discerning? That said, a little joyful nonreality
goes a long way.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). There’s a pressure
to deliver. It would be nice to think it’s all in your
head, but you know better. There really are
people depending on you. Don’t worry; you’re
heat-resistant. With your feet to the fire, you do
amazing things.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You want
gracious people around you, but if they are too
generous it makes you nervous. How will you
return the favor? Seek situations that settle into
a natural and easy reciprocity.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Monologues that go
on and on will spring from the mouths of those
with too much time and not enough awareness
or interest in others. Better to keep it brief and
professional today, even when you’re not on the
job.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). There’s so
much that you’re good at, but there are also
areas in life in which you’re still a baby learning
to walk. So do like the babies do. Put one foot in
front of the other, until you fall. Then get back up
and try again.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Children don’t
want to go to sleep when they should. They’d
rather eat candy than vegetables. With maturity,
we learn to trust the intelligence of the body.
Don’t let childish impulses override the body’s
wisdom.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Low points are
tests, not permission slips for bad behavior.
Those who rise to the occasion when the chips
are down are the true gems. Note: It takes an
even stronger person to stay humble when the
chips are up.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You’re a lifelong learner
and a little worried that you won’t have enough
brain storage for the new stuff coming up. Lucki-
ly, today’s knowledge can be applied immediate-
ly to real life in an unforgettable way.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). The smartest way
is to keep your head. When you start to really
want something, it becomes bigger, better, more
lucrative — blown up to unreal proportions that
it can’t possibly live up to. Stay cool. See what’s
really there.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Wisdom isn’t glam-
orous. It’s typically depicted by an old scribe on
a mountain or a short green alien. Ryan Gosling
wouldn’t play Wisdom in the movies. And yet,
“wise” is the most attractive thing you could be
today.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Your choices won’t all
be healthy ones and this may actually keep you
healthier than if they were. A little bit of danger
builds up a tolerance that will keep you safe.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 25). It’s like
life is paying you back for all the good you put in.
Love is dizzying in September. Concrete chang-
es put you back on the ground and building
something impressive. Rewards linked to your
diligence come in February and you’d do well to
invest immediately. May and July are lucky for
your whole family. Capricorn and Scorpio adore
you. Your lucky numbers are: 8, 2, 28, 44 and 15.