THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, MAY 30, 2017
FEATURES
Be your daughter’s confidante
Dear Annie: My 35-year-old out of his way to do anything for
daughter can’t seem to meet a her. I realize she must have some
decent man to have a relationship sort of low self-esteem to get into
with. She has never married but these one-sided relationships.
has had several long-term relation- She’s beautiful and smart, with a
ships. The men were very charm- college degree and a great job. I
ing in the beginning but turned out want her to realize her worth and
quit settling. — Frus-
to be physically and emo-
DEAR
trated Mom
tionally abusive.
Dear Mom: As dif-
It’s hard for me to wrap
ANNIE
ficult as it is to see your
my mind around why she
daughter going down the
stays in these relationships
same road over and over,
so long and why she puts
she has to be the one to
up with the abuse. She
take an exit. You can
wasn’t abused and didn’t
empower her to make that
see anyone being abused
decision by building up
while she was growing up.
Lane
her self-esteem and acting
She was loved and sup- Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
as a friend and confidante.
ported in everything she
Knowing that she has a
pursued.
She recently started a new rela- loving refuge in friends and fam-
tionship, and though I don’t know ily will make the prospect of leav-
whether this person is abusive, I do ing an abuser less daunting — but
see that the relationship is starting only slightly, and it’s still not going
out with her making all the conces- to be easy. If she’s expressed to
sions and changing her life to meet you that she wants help, you might
his needs. This is very much a pat- encourage her to go to a counselor.
tern for her. She goes out of her But if she’s in denial, any help you
way to help and do things for them try to give her will have the oppo-
site effect.
and gets very little in return.
I truly hope her current rela-
What can I do to help her see
what she is doing? I just can’t tionship doesn’t become abusive.
stand to see her go down the same If it does, I encourage you to call
road over and over. I don’t think The National Domestic Violence
she has ever had a man who went Hotline at 800-799-7233.
Dear Annie: To “Blah Birth-
day,” the young newlywed who
complained that her husband took
her on her birthday to something
he liked instead of her favorite:
Get over it.
My husband has been dead
for five years. We usually spent
my birthdays at home together. I
loved it! He was a romantic, and
we spent time cuddling, maybe
watching a movie on television,
and it was beautiful because I was
with the man I loved.
Did it occur to “Blah Birthday”
to be grateful that her husband
remembered her birthday? Did it
occur to her that her husband did
something he truly thought would
be special? No, it only occurred to
her to be a whining, selfish woman.
I would give anything to have
my wonderful guy back.
Please get over your selfish self
and thank the man who bothered to
remember you at all on your birth-
day. One day, you just might wish
you had. — Loved My Guy
Dear Loved My Guy: I should
certainly hope that a husband
remembers his wife’s birthday.
However, I think most of us could
use a reminder to be grateful, so
I’m printing your letter. I’m sorry
for your loss.
5A
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). At some point
the barriers you erect to protect yourself
become energy inefficient. They cost too
much emotionally. They become exhausting
to maintain. You’ll drop the defense. Maybe
you didn’t need it in the first place.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). If you want
to know how a thing is, you have to forget
about how you think it is. While you’re at it,
lose your ideas about how you want it to be.
Look at a thing as though you were not the
one looking.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You’ll create
something today, and rather mindlessly at
that. It’s a gift to be able to float above your
thoughts. Perhaps that’s the best, purest
way. There will be nothing to interfere with
your process.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). It takes
no special level of devotion or goodness for
the river to obey the natural laws affecting
the earth. Without the least bit of effort, it
flows home to the sea.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Once you
become concerned with the result, your
energy changes. If you’re in a professional
setting, the difference will be better. If you’re
in a social setting, the difference will be
worse.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). There are
those who like to dance and will do it no
matter who is watching. You’ve been that
person before, and you will be again. You’re
edging toward it, drawn to the music.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). It’s not necessary to
achieve anything beyond what you already
have. Being alive is the gift. The rest is icing
for the ego. Whatever you do to enjoy being
alive today is good.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You don’t need
to go anywhere for the beauty. The beauty is
in how you see it. The truth you seek is the
same. You’ll find the truth and you’ll find it
right where you are.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). If you give your
mind the chance, it will make things much
more serious than they need to be. Employ
your body. There’s a wisdom there that will
take over the situation once you get moving.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You’ve
followed many lines of reason, none of
them pointing to the answer you want.
Perhaps what’s needed is an unreasonable
approach. Switch off your head and let your
inner knowing have a go at this.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Walk beside
the one who knows the path and you, too,
will know the path. Don’t expect yourself to
pick up the route in a day, though. Repetition
will be key.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Today’s
doubts will have a real limiting effect on what
happens tomorrow. This isn’t necessarily
a bad thing, if the doubts are founded. But
hope will leave you more options. So make
sure you’re not being overly pessimistic.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (May 31). This
year you’ll cultivate the fine art of laughing in
the face of trouble. Your courage will inspire
others, and that’s part of why you’re so
brave. You have to be! You know you’re an
example to someone. Exciting times in June
will be followed by relaxing ones in July. A
big bonus happens in September and again
in February. Leo and Pisces adore you. Your
lucky numbers are: 9, 40, 3, 33 and 28.