FEATURES
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, OCTOBER 21, 2016
Affairs revealed after deaths
Dear Annie: My wife and I were
married for 61 years. We had three
sons. “Mary” passed away this year
from complications of Parkinson’s
and dementia.
Mary and her friend “John” had a
relationship most of our married life.
She had gone to school with John and
renewed their “friendship” soon after
we were married in the 1950s. I only
discovered all this about 10 years ago
by inding John’s name on telephone
calls he’d made to our home. I could
not act on it then because my wife
was having cognitive impairment,
which soon developed into dementia.
I had thought something was
wrong with our marriage and asked
my wife several times whether she
wanted out, but she just said no.
It has devastated me, as I always
thought my wife loved me. Evidently,
she loved another man. Therapy did
not help; I tried that. I cannot describe
the hurt. My sons and their families
do not know anything about this, and
I cannot tell them, as they all loved
my wife. — Sleepless in Anywhere,
USA
Dear Sleepless: I can’t imagine
what you’re going through. You’re
right not to tell your sons about their
mother’s affair, as that would bene-
it no one. Time is the only thing that
will ease your pain.
Dear Annie
By
Annie
Lane
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
And it might offer you some com-
fort to know you’re not alone. Just
this week, I received the following
letter.
Dear Annie: My wife of 59 years
passed away three weeks ago. While
going through her things, I came
across her diaries. The worst mistake
I have ever made in my life was to
read these diaries.
I thought we had a very satisfying
married life. We continued having sex
well into our 70s.
Thirty years ago, while I was away
on a business trip, she and a friend
went out barhopping. She met a guy
whom she described as “a very car-
ing and sexual man.” She wrote, “He
brought out feelings in me that I never
thought I’d have.”
This man swept her off her feet,
and she proceeded to have sex with
him multiple times over the next
month. She raved about how good the
sex was.
During this time, we also had
sex with each other at our usual fre-
quency. At that time, she was 48 years
old. She was an upstanding mem-
ber of the community, was involved
in various organizations and was a
grandmother of two.
I cannot get over this affair. I can-
not sleep or eat.
Annie, what would make a woman
who seemed otherwise stable and sat-
isied do something like that? What
can I do to ease my pain? I cannot get
this out of my mind. — Sick and Hurt
Dear Sick: I’m so sorry for your
loss. I don’t know why your wife did
what she did. Perhaps it was a midlife
crisis and she wanted to feel desirable
and young. But what she described in
those pages was infatuation, not love.
The terms might appear together in a
thesaurus, but they have little to do
with each other where it really counts.
Infatuation is intense, passionate
and supericial. Love is patient, strong
and selless. It is the most profound
kind of friendship. Infatuation fades
with time; love only grows deeper.
Infatuation’s got nothing on love.
Those few weeks several decades
ago cannot negate the lifetime of hap-
piness you shared. May your wife rest
in peace. I wish you all the best.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
3C
Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). The one
you had so many opinions about, well,
those opinions will change as you get
to know the person better. However, first
impressions are true impressions. Don’t
forget them!
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Every-
thing is fitting together for you. So why
does that not have a relaxing effect on
your life? You’re more determined than
ever to attain a higher level of mastery or
means.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Your part-
ners in this journey will share your enthu-
siasm for it, but you’ll have to get things
started. This weekend they’ll need to be
wound tight, revved up and cheered on.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Go on:
Walk in. They’ll wonder who you are and
what you do. The assumption will be
made that you are a VIP. The confidence
you exude will send up smoke signals.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You can’t con-
trol it all, and yet you still take full respon-
sibility for the way things turn out. It’s not
always good, but even when it’s bad you
learn something valuable.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Your belief
will set you apart from the others, not be-
cause it’s so different, but because you
believe it so thoroughly. You are truly the
best example of this belief. You live it.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). The root of
intelligence is curiosity. Give credit to the
person who asks you many questions.
Be wary of the one who is not curious
enough. A Capricorn or Virgo will be an
asset to your business.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). The sub-
conscious is a genius. When you drive,
shower or generally just “veg out” — that’s
when the most interesting mental stuff will
come up. Getting lost in your thoughts will
be the perfect way to solve a puzzle.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Na-
ture doesn’t make exactly straight lines.
While trying to draw your boundaries
you’ll be faced with plenty of inconsisten-
cies and variations — totally normal! Life
is an imperfect process. Keep going.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). As for
that person who is definitely one above
you, well — maybe not. Stop comparing.
The photo lies. It’s been filtered. There’s
not that much sunshine on anybody’s
face. Relax. Everyone will get his or her
due.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). It’s all
tight spaces and limited funds today, but
the creativity that springs from this frus-
trated circumstance is truly inspired. No
complaints; march on.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Research
and plan. Learning as much as you can
about upcoming events will be your ticket
to comfortable confidence when the spe-
cial day finally comes to pass.
SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Oct. 22).
Your loved ones grace you with unex-
pected joy in the last months of the year;
what could be better? There will be a
trade that favors you in December. Also,
you’ll work your way through an educa-
tional process, and by August this will
change your mind about many things,
love included. Sagittarius and Leo adore
you. Your lucky numbers are: 4, 20, 5,
42, 11 and 28.