FEATURES
6A
Cold shoulder after divorce
Dear Annie: I recently went on
vacation with my mom, stepdad
and siblings. We went to the river
where my stepdad has been going
for about 30 years. Everyone else
in the community has been going
there every year for just as long,
if not longer. Now, my mom and
stepdad met each other while they
were married, and, well, you can
put the rest together. Many fami-
lies we know have taken sides ever
since, so being the daughter, I’m no
stranger to weird vibes in social sit-
uations and people choosing sides.
Upon meeting the rivergoers, I
quickly realized that some of them
were on my stepdad’s ex-wife’s
side. How did I know? They
avoided talking to us and didn’t
invite us to partake in group water-
sport activities. In one case, after
I introduced myself, the woman
looked at me, scoffed and walked
away. There were plenty of nice
people, though, so we still had a
great time.
This isn’t something I take per-
sonally. The situation has noth-
ing to do with me, and the affair
happened six years ago. If they’re
getting all hung up about some-
thing that’s not even their business,
that’s their problem. But I never
know whether I should stand up
Dear Annie
By
Annie
Lane
Creators
Syndicate
Inc.
for myself, kill them with kindness
or just ignore them. What do you
think? — Boating With Baggage
Dear Boating: It sounds as if
you’re expert at navigating these
treacherous rapids, so kudos. It’s
incredibly mature of you not to
take the antics of your stepdad’s
ex-wife’s friends personally. The
bitterness and resentment they’re
holding on to is only dragging them
down.
Continue being pleasant in the
face of their ugly attitudes. Pretend
you’re oblivious to their bad vibes.
They can scoff until they’re blue in
the face. But don’t be a doormat,
either. If one of them says some-
thing outright rude to you, you have
a right to stand up for yourself.
Dear Annie: What is the eti-
quette concerning who pays for a
date these days? I am realizing I
may be a bit old-fashioned, as I still
think that a man should pick up the
check at least the irst few times he
goes out with someone. I’ve been
on three dates with a guy recently,
and we’ve split it every time.
For our irst date, he picked
out an expensive restaurant that
I would never normally go to, as
it’s way out of my price range. I
assumed he would only invite me
to such an expensive place if he
planned on covering the bill.
Before I was seeing him, I dated
a man for about six months, and
we always split everything, too.
If I didn’t have cash on me, he
expected me to pay him back later.
I work full time and can sup-
port myself, and I don’t need or
expect anyone to spoil me. But I
still appreciate small gestures of
chivalry. Am I out of step with the
times? — Halfsies
Dear Halfsies: A good rule is
that the person who does the asking
does the paying — at least on the
irst date. So, if this man asked you
out, it would be courteous of him to
pay, and vice versa.
After the irst date, going Dutch
is commonplace. There’s nothing
wrong with treating your signif-
icant other to dinner on, just as a
nice gesture, regardless of gender.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, OCTOBER 3, 2016
Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Respect is
about honoring personal boundaries — hard
to do when you don’t know where they are.
Everyone is different in this regard, so avoid
making assumptions. When in doubt, ask.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). An important
part of the creative process is in feeling fool-
ish, silly, idiotic and/or out of control. If you
never touch on those feelings, you’re not tak-
ing the risks necessary to achieve compelling
results.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). This task before
you is rather like a video game, complete with
cheats and codes to unlock certain compart-
ments. Mastering the game itself will bring
satisfaction beyond whatever prize is at stake.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Some people
crave relationships, and others have alter-
native priorities. There is nothing wrong with
either agenda; it’s just a matter of how well it
matches up with your own priorities and ex-
pectations.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Instead of saying,
“You misunderstood,” you say, “I didn’t make
myself clear.” These kinds of small ways of
taking responsibility and making others a little
more comfortable are what will, in the end,
earn you enormous loyalty.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). There are some
who are more excited by studying life than by
living it. What’s wrong with that? Nothing at
all, which is hard for the more actively inclined
to comprehend. Developing an intellectual
playground is a worthy pursuit.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). What’s worth
fighting for? You’re the only one who can
answer that question in your own life. Today
you’ll be resting, gathering up your energy
for the next round, and reminding yourself of
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
your motivation.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Your curiosity
will be aroused and you’ll pay attention be-
cause you have to know what happens next.
With a skillful enough teaser, this could go on
forever, one cliffhanger after another.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Lines
are everywhere — where the sidewalk meets
the street, the door meets the hall, the ceiling
meets the wall. There are lines in your mind,
too, with different rules that apply depending
on which side of them you are on.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Technolo-
gy can help your plight but in the end you’ll
build according to the governing laws: physi-
cal, emotional, spiritual. Gravity trumps theo-
ries. Love trumps logic. Right is might.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). The feeling
of being overwhelmed is paralyzing and un-
helpful, especially if you let it take over for too
long. Snap out of it. Change your scenery. You
have plenty of time to figure it all out. Now,
what’s next?
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). A fresh situ-
ation makes it much easier to change habits.
If moving to a new city, school, job or rela-
tionship is out of the question, try a massive
routine shift or lifestyle shake-up to support
the habit you want to establish.
TUESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Oct. 4). Your ex-
citement makes events even better. Because
of your contagious enthusiasm, people start
to organize themselves around your dreams.
The next 12 weeks will bring hard work,
but it’s so worthwhile to you, even more so
with your March payout. Love sends you to
emotional highs in 2017. Cancer and Gemini
adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 4, 44, 35,
10 and 19.