FEATURES
6A
Controlling sis ruins parties
Dear Annie: We are a large
group of middle-aged siblings with
one sister who has little engagement
outside the home. She is an empty
nester who does not work, volunteer
or have any regular friends.
Our problem occurs when it
comes time for a family function.
She wants to control the event to
the point that we cannot enjoy it.
The importance of these events to
her self-worth is truly disturbing.
We have regained some ground by
politely initiating plans before she
does, hosting events at our own
homes or avoiding her during events
if she’s in one of her controlling
moods.
Unfortunately, this loss of total
control has brought out some
mean-spiritedness in her. She will
“sweetly” insult or command us in
front of relatives, withhold informa-
tion and ind ways to demonstrate
that the plans of others are “wrong.”
We love our sister, and we know
she needs help. The problem is get-
ting worse, and she is turning Machi-
avellian on us. Any other ideas? —
Family Exercise in Futility
Dear Family: Idle hands are the
devil’s workshop, especially when
they’re holding a smartphone. In
this case, the “devil” is your sister’s
pathological need for control, which
Dear Annie
By
Annie
Lane
Creators
Syndicate
Inc.
she has allowed to consume her.
Give her a chore so she feels like
a part of the plan — something that
will satisfy her need to feel needed
without making a mess of the event.
You’ve taken many steps to try
to help, and I commend your efforts.
But at a certain point, you have to
accept that you can’t control the
control freak.
Dear Annie: I am 62, and my
only sibling died 16 years ago. My
parents have been dead for years.
Recently, I was told by a cousin that
I have a half brother. My father got
an employee pregnant, and now
this boy is 50. His mother was mar-
ried and let her husband think the
son was his biological son. She and
the husband are now in their 80s.
No one knows the truth except the
cousin, the mom and me.
I called the mother up, and she
was very belligerent. She pretty
much admitted it’s true. I told her
I don’t want to cause trouble for
her husband. And I don’t want to
cause trouble for my half brother.
The mom just shouted back that she
doesn’t care who I tell.
I had just called to see whether
the family knows, but seeing as no
one else does, I don’t want to say
anything. I plan on sticking to that,
but there are times when I really
wish I could connect with my
brother. Do you think there will be
a time when I wouldn’t be selish
in trying to call him? Of course, he
might hate the messenger. — To Tell
the Truth or Keep Quiet
Dear Truth: It would be self-
ish to tell your half brother this
world-shattering fact only because
you’re lonely. But there are other
reasons for letting him know about
his biological father. As he gets
older, he might beneit from know-
ing your dad’s medical history.
It sounds as if his mom is unable
to think rationally about the situa-
tion. Perhaps you could enlist your
cousin for help, as he or she seems
to have more background on the
situation.
Your half brother is 50 — old
enough to decide for himself what
to do with the information.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 2016
Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Care a little,
but don’t obsess. If you deliberate too closely
over the details you’ll totally miss the irresistible
coolness and nonchalance that comes with
having better things to do than worry about
how to impress people.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Pay attention,
because you’re likely to observe something
truly, subtly wondrous — something that you’re
uniquely qualified to understand and appreci-
ate.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You are present
to serve, help, nurture and promote others.
One way to this end is through self-expression
and creativity. Self-expression can seem like a
narcissist’s cry of “look at me,” but the fact is,
the world needs entertainment.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Impatience
is rooted in the self-centered belief that one’s
own time frame is superior to all others. Avoid
impatience today, as it will only sass and an-
ger the universal spirit — she doesn’t like to
be rushed.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Most mistakes hap-
pen because of a lack of knowledge, though
the answer is not always to learn more. We
cannot possibly learn everything there is to
know, therefore the answer is to admit that we
don’t and remain open.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). To watch his
walk, see her smile, remember that charm-
ing moment, the funny remark, the way you
laughed — these are the things that stand
out in your mind and drive you to create more
good times with a person.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Before you can
effectively influence a person, look at his
choices. Did she choose out of desire, or were
there a lack of available options? What is real-
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
ly wanted? You’ll be as persuasive as you are
observant.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). The will and
the intention to connect with others is powerful.
Sometimes it can, in and of itself, create mag-
ic. And when the sweetness of that intention is
not enough to create magic, it (SET ITAL) is
(END ITAL) the magic.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You’ve
seen a lot of the world, so it’s harder to surprise
you. You’ll be impressed by the one who can
hold your attention by showing you something
different and making you feel something new.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Intolerance
is among the most dangerous and destructive
evils. Just as small acts of kindness can go far
toward creating havens on earth, small fights
against intolerance can go far toward protect-
ing these havens.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Someone in
your circle needs help. Not everyone realizes
this. You have such a way of stating things and
rallying the troops. You’ll gain the glad assis-
tance of all for your cause.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). For motivation
that verges on magical, make a date way into
the future. The anticipation of this far-off event
and the actions you’ll take to get ready for it will
change you in days and weeks to come.
SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Sept. 17). You’ll
look back on this year with great pride. Your
focus on a difficult and involved goal will be an
advanced workout for your soul. You’ll grow in
power and discover new emotional and intel-
lectual resources. As for the exciting love that
begins its reign in March, all you have to do is
show up and be yourself. Gemini and Pisces
adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 40, 22, 2,
10 and 16.