THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, JULY 22, 2016
FRIDAY EXCHANGE
5A
Donald and Archie
I
t seems that Republican
presidential nominee Don-
ald Trump recently ired his
employee terminator, Laura
Deboom, and she wanted to
get even. So she secretly taped
the following conversation
between Trump and Archie
(“All in the Family”) Bun-
ker at the Beacon Tavern at
Trump International Hotel and
Tower in Chicago. Huddled in
an adjoining booth, Laura over-
heard the following remarks.
DT: Archie. I need some
of your great advice from yes-
teryear. OK? I love the poorly
educated.
AB: Thank you, Mr. T. Fire
away.
DT: Well, I’ve gotten lots
of lak for occasional remarks
about women, some accusing
me of calling women pigs, dogs
and bimbos. But I say I will be
so good to women. I will be
phenomenal to the women.
AB: No problem, Donald.
Remember what I said about
Dingbat and Gloria and their
ilk? Women was made from a
man’s rib and are inferior. So
we get a cheaper cut. Besides,
women’s libbers have a lot
of fancy ideas that just don’t
belong. Like puttin’ lace on a
bowling ball. And a woman
should cleave unto her hus-
band, like my Dingbat does.
Right here is where Edith’s
cleavage belongs.
DT: The liberal pinkos are
calling me irreligious. But I
tell ’em nobody reads the Bible
more than me. I love 2 Corin-
thians. God will be very proud
of me. The Bible’s even better
than my “Art of the Deal,” and
that’s no small feat.
AB: Tell ’em we need to
respect God and teach our kids
that the Bible ain’t no booby
trap. They need to be scared of
God. Period.
DT: I was the irst to really
focus on the immigration prob-
lem, Archie. I said we needed
to build a huge wall to keep
out Mexican drug dealers, ter-
rorists, rapists and other thugs
— though some Mexicans are
great. What do you think about
immigration, Archie?
AB: I said — way back —
no bum that can’t speak poifect
English oughta stay in this coun-
try — oughta be de-exported the
hell oughta here. And I don’t
want no Hispanics living next
door. One colored family is a
novelty and two’s a ghetto.
DT: Great advice, Archie.
Say, what do you think about
welfare — you know, how lib-
eral pinkos want to take us fab-
ulously rich guys’ hard-earned
money and give it away to poor,
shiftless street bums?
AB: It’s all a conspiracy,
Donald. The Democrats’ way
of ruining the country is to go
tell us all how we oughta make
“sacriices,” giving away my
money to spics and spades.
They’re all gonna have us
over the hill to the poorhouse.
If these progressive pinkos get
their way, we’re all gonna hear
one big lush. The country’s
goin’ straight into the dumper.
DT: You’re right, Archie.
And I promise you that, when
I’m elected, there’ll be hell
toupee.
ROBERT BRAKE
Ocean Park, Washington
Abortion thoughts
I
t is now the law of the land
that one type of ambulatory
surgical center does not need
to comply with standard health
safety regulations applied to all
other centers.
Whole Women’s Heath v.
Hellerstedt (June 27, 2016) was
a 5-3 Supreme Court decision
exempting abortion facilities
from health safety standards,
including the requirement that
the abortionist have admitting
privileges in a nearby hospital.
The majority ruled that
safeguards were unnecessary
and burdensome. To whom,
one wonders? Quoting Justice
Antonin Scalia, Justice Clar-
ence Thomas objected to the
Court’s “troubling tendency ‘to
bend the rules when any effort
to limit abortion, or even to
speak in opposition to abortion,
is at issue.’”
Hillary Clinton claimed
the decision was a “victory
for women.” Really? At the
expense of their dead babies?
What about the thousands of
young girls who are victims
of sex traficking? Accord-
ing to Oregon Right to Life’s
June-August issue of Life in
Oregon, 55 percent of them
have had at least one abortion;
30 percent have had multiple
roughly the south slope around
to roughly west of downtown.
Ward 4 is roughly east of down-
town to the eastern boundary of
Astoria. Precise information
about boundaries and election
requirements is at the County
Clerk’s ofice, 820 Exchange
St., Suite 220, or call the ofice
at 503-325-8511.
If you don’t run for ofice,
who will?
LAURIE CAPLAN
Astoria
Where have all the ferries gone?
L
eaning out the window of my sixth-
story perch in the historic John
Jacob Astor Hotel, I soaked in my irst
impressions of my new place to live:
Astoria. My nose sniffed the air detect-
ing a foul odor of ish. I watched the
pigeons lutter here and there, quietly
listening to their calm cooing sounds.
The mighty Columbia River within my
view was an awesome sight for sure.
Yet, the one thing that would soon
become a huge part of my young life
was the crisp painted black-and-white
ferries. I watched as each loaded cars
and passengers to cross the river to
the Washington side of the Columbia.
It was the only way people got across
the river from the Astoria area in those
days.
abortions. Over half of these
girls reported being ordered to
abort by their trafickers.
Women’s health was not a
concern for the majority of the
court on June 27. But their deci-
sion was certainly a victory for
the abortion industry’s bottom
line. Incidentally, according to
LifeNews.com, all 820 Planned
Parenthoods in the U.S. now pro-
vide abortions, or refer patients
to one of their own facilities that
does provide them. And they
keep building new mega-facil-
ities in minority areas of large
cities (Portland, Houston, New
Orleans). Is this genocide?
JEAN M. HERMAN
Astoria
Betsy Johnson
A
veteran is like that relative
no one wants to talk about.
But state Sen. Betsy Johnson
is someone. To her, veterans
matter.
Disabled Veterans Mag-
azine inally wrote about the
U.S. Navy exposing troops to
nuclear, biological and chemi-
cal agents in the 1970s. The mil-
itary has been experimenting on
service women and men since
the end of World War II, and
all the while Congress has been
beneiting from insider trading
of stocks for those who do this
so-called medical research.
Though Sen. Johnson does
not get involved with military
matters, she still cares. When
I wrote her in March about the
Veterans Administration bla-
tantly disregarding my rights,
for 10 years now, to see a fed-
eral judge for my case — a
claim against the VA for the
Navy radiation experiment con-
ducted on us aboard the USS
Skipjack, and the deteriorating
conditions resulting from same
— she referred me to one of our
state’s representatives in Wash-
ington, D.C., whose ofice did
contact me a week later to say
they would take care of it. That
was last March, and that’s the
last I heard from that represen-
tative’s ofice.
Just two weeks ago, our
Betsy Johnson wrote me a let-
ter asking if the representa-
tive’s ofice was able to help
me. What a surprise. No, Sen.
Johnson, they have yet to reveal
how they will get my case
before a federal judge, but after
nearly three months, they still
have time — about a week to
meet the deadline.
Once a politician refers us
elsewhere, we never expect to
hear from that politician again.
Perhaps Sen. Betsy Johnson is
not a politician. I wish she was
Oregon’s representative in D.C.
Thank you for reading about
this good woman.
DANE JACONETTI
Hammond
Insurance upset
S
ince moving to Oregon in
2001, I was being seen at a
North Coast medical provider.
My husband retired from the
military after serving 30 years.
The military moved us here.
I was recently informed by
the provider they don’t accept
military insurance (Tricare)
anymore. The ofice manager
told me they only get 41 cents
on the dollar every time they
see a Tricare patient. Really?
Why are they contracted with
Tricare? All these men and
women ight for our country,
and for your rights, and they
can’t accept their insurance, all
because you don’t get paid 100
percent for the visit?
Also, if you need to talk to
the doctors at the provider about
two different medical issues,
you have to make a different
appointment for each issue you
I often rode across the river on the
ferry as one of my Saturday adven-
tures. It only cost one quarter to ride
across and back. It was great fun. I felt
like Huckleberry Finn, riding the huge
stern wheelers up and down the Missis-
sippi River. I came to love the ferries.
Inside the ferry, there was a snack
bar where I would purchase hot choc-
olate and toast. After inishing my
yummy morning snack, I would ven-
ture out to the side of the ferry to watch
the river trafic. I was amazed at the
size of the huge cargo ships as they
passed nearby. I enjoyed leaning over
the railing to watch the blue gray water
slap against the white sided vessel. The
whole trip only took about an hour and
a half out of my day. The marine adven-
are having. I was told that the
insurance company won’t pay
for more than one issue per
ofice visit. I called Tricare, and
they said that is simply not true.
Both doctors are profes-
sional and are very knowledge-
able in their profession, but I
feel it is not fair that they are no
longer accepting patients based
on this criteria. Our military
men and women deserve better.
For all the medical profession-
als who accept Tricare insur-
ance, I thank you.
BERNICE LAWRENCE
Warrenton
Multitude of fools
T
he editorial in the July 5
edition of The Daily Asto-
rian, “Chinook ancestors
would be proud,” discussed
the Benghazi tragedy, where
four brave Americans, includ-
ing Ambassador Chris Stevens,
were abandoned by their supe-
riors, then-Secretary of State
Hillary Clinton and her accom-
plice, the afirmative action
president, who ignored dozens
of requests to bolster security in
that Libyan danger zone.
It’s disgusting — nay, crim-
inal — that after nearly four
years no one has been held
accountable for this act of
treason. Much of the Ameri-
can public apparently has sim-
ply given a pass to Hillary, an
acknowledged habitual liar,
and the empty suit in the Oval
Ofice, despite the fact that their
non-action was due to purely
political purposes — the elec-
tion was just a few weeks away.
Even some people in Europe
understand our miserable sit-
uation here, a fact relected in
an article from a newspaper
in the Czech Republic. A seg-
ment from the Prague paper,
Prager Zeitungon, had this to
say: “The danger to America is
not Barack Obama, but a citi-
zenry capable of entrusting a
man like him with the presi-
dency … the republic can sur-
vive a Barack Obama, who is
after all, merely a fool. It is less
likely to survive a multitude of
fools such as those who made
him president.”
Hillary, campaigning vig-
orously (again) for an ofice
for which she is as unqualiied
as the current occupant of the
White House ever was, is hop-
ing the article is correct about
the “multitude of fools,” igur-
ing the public is foolish enough
to elect her. This might be time
to quote her when she said,
referring to Benghazi: “What
difference does it make?”
E. ROBERT NASSIKAS
Astoria
Great production
W
e love our PAPA —
the Peninsula Associ-
ation of Performing Artists,
that is. Once again, they have
produced a top-drawer, fam-
ily-friendly Broadway musi-
cal worthy of the name of that
famous New York street. The
scale may be small, but the
entertainment value (and pro-
fessional dedication) are huge.
Last Friday’s opening of
“Once Upon a Mattress” was
delightful. The cast, lead by
George Fox theatre gradu-
ate Brooke Brown, seemed to
be having as much fun as the
audience. High energy singing
and dancing from start to inish
shufled in with lots of chuck-
les, guffaws and belly laughs.
What a charming, non-tradi-
tional fairy tale where the prin-
cess impresses all with her dar-
ing-do, causing the prince to
practically swoon.
Highly recommended for
all, but especially young girls
— who will be inspired by
ture was worth every second.
It wasn’t very long before the ferries
became obsolete. They were replaced
by a huge bridge that spans the whole
river. The bridge has a special beauty
of its own, yet I miss the majestic, slow
moving beauty of the ferries. They were
a wonderful part of Astoria’s culture.
In my minds eye, I can still see the
ferries and their black-and-white colors
contrasting against the blue gray water
of the Columbia River. My heart’s
desire would be to see that wonder-
ful piece of Astoria history return. Per-
haps I could again catch a ride across
the river on the ferry, a childhood
adventure.
PATTY DAVIS
Hammond
this “be yourself” message. It’s
playing weekends through Aug.
7 at the historic Fort Columbia
theater. Tickets are available at
www.papatheater.com
MARK SCARBOROUGH
Seaview, Washington
Help is available
H
elp with heating and cool-
ing is available. To let all
our Clatsop County residents
know: Clatsop Community
Action’s Energy Assistance
Program has funding under the
state’s Oregon Energy Assis-
tance Program for those who
are in danger of having their
electrical service disconnected
due to home heating costs.
CCA also has some additional
new funding resources this year
that may help with cooling your
home.
Please call or come into
CCA to see if you might be eli-
gible for these great low-in-
come programs at 364 Ninth
St. The phone number is 503-
325-1400, and the hours are 9
a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday through
Thursday, and 9 a.m. to noon
Friday.
ELAINE BRUCE
Executive director, Clatsop
Community Action
Astoria
Decision-makers
P
ublic safety. A better
library. Affordable housing.
Bravo!
R
Well-maintained parks and trol-
ley tracks. A balanced budget.
The ive members of the Asto-
ria City Council make deci-
sions about these, and many
other issues. Their goal is to
keep our town vibrant, safe and
livable.
Don’t believe the current
demonization of politicians.
Especially in Astoria, we have
serious city councilors deter-
mined to do their best for our
town, not for themselves. And
yet, if good people don’t run
for ofice, then we risk having
candidates running primarily
for their own gain or personal
agendas.
Our city councilors commit
their time, talent and wisdom to
beneit all of us. This Novem-
ber, voters will elect two new
city councilors, one for Ward
2 and another for Ward 4. Will
you be one of them?
Astoria is blessed with
many active and engaged res-
idents who agree with Oregon
Governor Tom McCall’s inspir-
ing statement, “Heroes are not
giant statues framed against a
red sky. They are people who
say, ‘This is my community,
and it‘s my responsibility to
make it better.’”
If you agree with him,
please consider running for city
council or inding other quali-
ied candidates.
The deadline for iling to
run for a city council seat is
Aug. 30. Ward 2 includes
ecently I attended the
opening night showing
of the Peninsula Association
of Performing Artists’ produc-
tion “Once Upon a Mattress” at
the Fort Columbia Theater. The
show was funny and very well
done. Jonathan Cole is a riot
as mute King Sextimus. Ron
Thompson plays Prince Daunt-
less the Drab with aplomb, car-
rying off the “mama’s boy”
routine superbly.
As Princess Winnifred the
Woebegone, Brooke Brown
does a fabulous job. Her
expressions and dramatic
pauses are almost funnier than
her lines at times. Grace Scar-
borough continues to display
the comedic talent that made
her a hit as a stepsister in “Cin-
derella” last year. Her Nightin-
gale of Samarkand hits just the
right note (pun intended).
If you are looking for some-
thing to make you laugh, or
you just love well-done shows,
come see “Once Upon a Mat-
tress” before it is gone. You will
have a great time.
COTY GROTE
Chinook, Washington
Bad dreams
I
n response to “Ku Klux
Klan dreams of rising again
150 years after founding” (The
Daily Astorian, July 6):
Donald Trump, Republi-
can candidate, dreams of pres-
idency, gains endorsement by
the Klan. Good dreams or night-
mares? Decide for yourself.
My wife and I have decided,
and have become members
of the Southern Poverty Law
Center, which works to com-
bat hatred and violence in every
state in our union.
ALAN RICHARDS
Naselle, Washington
SUPPORT FOR FAMILY CAREGIVERS
Are you caring
for an aging
loved one?
Free classes funded through the
State of Oregon can help.
Oregon Care Partners ofers free classes for caregivers – both online
and in-person. Classes on a wide variety of topics can help you
handle common caregiving issues like:
• Forgetfulness
• Alzheimer’s & dementia
• Anger & aggression • Managing medications
In-person classes are held around the state and
taught by caring professionals who understand
the needs of family caregivers. Online classes are
also available, and most take only an hour or two.
Classes
ofered online
and in-person at
NO COST to you
Free classes are available to anyone living or working in Oregon.
For class listings and registration, visit OregonCarePartners.com
COMING SOON TO ASTORIA
Positive Approach to Alzheimer’s
& Dementia Care (PAC) Workshop
August 10, 5:30pm-8:30pm
Best Western Lincoln Inn
Navigating Challenging
Behaviors: Strengthening
Communications Skills
August 11, 8:30am-1:00pm
Best Western Lincoln Inn
Learn more and register for this free class at OregonCarePartners.com. Family members,
all levels of caregivers and walk-ins welcome. CEUs ofered for professionals.
www.OregonCarePartners.com
1-800-930-6851 • info@oregoncarepartners.com