The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current, July 20, 2016, Page 6A, Image 6

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Everyone likes a quitter
Dear Annie: My dad has been
a smoker for his whole life, which
is why we were all so proud of him
when he announced that he had suc-
cessfully quit several months ago.
I was elated. It had been an ongo-
ing argument between my parents
throughout my childhood. It always
stressed me out to hear them ight-
ing about it. It feels so good to know
that my dad actually cares about his
health and knows that we care, too.
He’s even taken up jogging, some-
thing he was never able to do before
because he’d start hacking up a lung.
However, the most recent time I
visited home (I’m away at college),
I caught my dad smoking outside
in the garage one night. I quickly
turned away, and I know he doesn’t
know that I caught him, but I am so
devastated. My whole family would
be devastated. The next day, I asked
him how the not-smoking thing was
going, seeing whether he’d confess,
and he just said, “Great!” I feel so
betrayed that he could just lat out lie
about it. Along with feeling upset, I
am torn when it comes to handling
this situation because I know I can’t
keep it to myself. My mom works
so hard and cares so much. I don’t
like seeing her lied to. I feel as if she
deserves to know the truth. Now
I’m just trying to igure out how to
Dear Annie
go about dropping this bomb on her
when I know it will just break her
heart and my dad will be angry. How
do I do this? — Nonsmoker Son
Dear Nonsmoker: So he had a
slip-up? Surprise! Your dad’s human.
Cigarettes are highly addictive, and
he’s been smoking his whole life.
Talk to him about the matter pri-
vately. Be compassionate and try to
understand where he’s coming from.
On average, it takes eight to 11 tries
before a smoker successfully stops
for good. Don’t quit on him.
Dear Annie: I’ve learned that
there is a difference between con-
structive criticism and just hurting
someone’s feelings, and I’m having
a hard time separating the two right
My friend is a loud chewer. She
smacks her food. She talks with her
mouth full. She slurps. It is disgust-
ing. I ind it incredible that some-
body could get away with being
raised that way, but the rest of her
family is the same way, so she
clearly has no idea.
She really is a great girl and one
of my closest friends, but this is a
major pet peeve. Also, she com-
plains about how she never gets
asked on second dates, and I can’t
help but wonder whether this is why.
I just don’t know whether that
kind of habit is one that can be easily
broken, and I worry for her. I don’t
know how to go about telling her
that she is being gross when she eats
without having it come out in a way
that would just hurt her feelings. All
I know is I feel a responsibility to do
something about this. What do you
think I should do? — Quiet Friend
Dear Quiet: I don’t doubt that
her dates have had allergic reactions
to these “see-food” dinners. Few
things are less attractive than chew-
ing with one’s mouth open.
Tell her, in a gentle way, that it
might be beneicial for her to watch
out and make sure she is conscious
of how she is eating. You’ll be doing
her a huge favor. Good friends
are honest friends — even when
it means telling a pal she eats like
Cookie Monster (in much politer
terms, of course).
Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). You will be
where the action is, whether it seems like it
at the time or not. It’s one of those instances
when everyone involved will look back and
say, “That’s where it started.”
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You are pres-
ent for your friends when they need you. This
is easier for you because you don’t over-think
it. You’re not worried about what to say and
do. You wisely know that just your presence
is enough.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). It will be easier
to laugh and be lighthearted when you are
around people who are buoyant of spirit like
you are. You can’t always choose your com-
pany, but stay on the lookout for fun people
you can connect with in the future.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Do you feel
lucky to be an object of sweet affection? Your
face is the first thing a certain person thinks
of in the morning and the last vision of the
day before drifting off to sleep.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You didn’t think you
could do it, but you went for it anyway, and
now look where you are! From this perfectly
prime position you can make a play for your
next impossible goal, but much planning is
required. Think it over and over today.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Your intention
to spread enough positive energy and good-
will to make a difference in the world will land
lovely today. “Enough” will be reached by
lunchtime. It’s the simple, small, courteous
acts that will matter most.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You’re a giv-
er. The world needs more givers. But the
givers of the world also need to remember
that there’s a point at which giving can start
annoying the receivers. Part of being a good
giver is knowing when to take.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). As some-
thing very pleasant drops into your world (or
someone, as the case may be) caution is
called for. This could be very addictive. Go
slow; make good choices.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). If you
don’t take the morning problems too person-
ally you can likely solve most of them by the
afternoon. It wouldn’t be any fun at all if you
could get what you needed without incident
or complication!
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Saying
yes to something you’d typically decline will
be the right move. Fifteen minutes chatting
with a friend or playing with children will
make your entire mood go brighter.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). The recipe
for today’s gentle joy: one part predictability,
two parts unpredictability. Plan a special oc-
casion and you’ll get just that! Nothing major
is required; preparing a delicious dish may
be more than enough.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Who do you
suspect are the people in your life who’ve
loved you the most? Considering the answer
to this question will give you the grateful
heart that allows you to extract the beauty
from this day.
surprise-ball of a year! Your attitude of re-
ceptiveness (tempered only slightly, which is
more than enough, by your brilliant and con-
stant common sense) invites the wonder and
“zing” while leaving out the trouble. Relation-
ships entail focus and pleasure. Home-build-
ing feeds the needs of your family at year’s
end. Aquarius and Cancer adore you. Your
lucky numbers are: 40, 33, 21, 4 and 19.