14 // COASTWEEKEND.COM
Coast Weekend’s local
restaurant review
Astoria pizza joint delivers classic pies
Review and photos by
MOUTH OF THE COLUMBIA
MOUTH@COASTWEEKEND.COM
T
There’s an old joke, and it goes
something like this: Sex is like piz-
za — even when it’s bad it’s good.
Which isn’t to say that Sahara
Pizza, a small chain based mostly
in Washington, is bad. It’s totally
fi ne — good enough to eat a slice
even when you aren’t really hungry
because, hey, it’s pizza.
When it comes to slices, though,
Sahara doesn’t bother. What a bum-
mer. Instead, the restaurant offers
an 8-inch personal pie that starts at
$5.50 with plain cheese and goes
up from there (at $.75 per topping).
Whether or not you feel the person-
al pizza is an adequate substitute
— and I don’t — the slice’s allure
is that it’s quick; a brief re-heat and
you’re out the door. Not so much
when you’re starting with raw
dough.
On the opposite end of the spec-
trum, there’s the enormous 28-inch
Sahara Size, whose box is as big as
a card table. It seems like a novelty,
and at $45 for just cheese I’m not
sure it’s a better deal than two large
16-inch pies (at $21.99 each). That
kind of math, though, what with cir-
cumference and surface areas and,
you know, Pi, is above the Mouth’s
pay grade.
On one of my trips I witnessed a
family gathered around the gargan-
tuan thing. As they left, the teenage
son carried it out, the box in one
hand, two-liter bottle of soda in
the other. He struggled to get out
the door, as the box was just about
as wide as the frame. As the box
began to tilt, sliding from his grip,
the Mouth sprang to action, saving
pounds of pizza from piling onto
the fl oor. Indeed, when math ain’t
your thing, you have to fi nd other
ways to be valuable.
The restaurant itself is pretty
understated. A checkered fl oor,
some booths, tables and rock radio
underneath high ceilings. Appro-
priately staffed with teenagers and
young adults, Sahara is bustling
with the churn of delivery drivers
coming and going. It’s also, quite
conveniently, next door to the
sprawling and delightful Video
Horizons. There’s even a rear
entrance through Sahara — you can
browse videos while you wait.
Pizza, meanwhile, is essentially
as good as its crust. Sahara’s is soft
and thick, not quite deep-dish, but
close. They’re doughy, a tad fl oppy
and not too crisp, laden with cheese
and pretty greasy. Besides building
your own, Sahara offers a number
of Gourmet pies (8-inch $7.99,
12-inch $15.99, 14-
inch $18.99, 16-inch
21.99). Then there
are specials, like two
12-inch pizzas with
three toppings each for
$20.99, or two 14-inch-
ers with two toppings
each.
A counterperson
pointed me toward the
Sahara from the Gourmet
menu. With marinara
sauce, onions, green
bell peppers, pepperoni,
mushrooms, Italian sausage and
shredded mozzarella cheese, it was
the typical “supreme.” The veggies
were cut small, and there weren’t
too many of them. The chunks of
Italian sausage, on the other hand,
were bulbous, the size of large
marbles.
The Firebird paired smooth
creaminess from ranch sauce and
mozzarella against bright, pointy
spice from jalapeños, Franks Red
Hot sauce and buffalo chicken.
Gorgonzola added a fl aky texture,
but the sharp tang was the overrid-
ing sensation.
From the vegetarian pies I tried
the Pumba and Jungle Veggie, both
of which were quite similar with
bitter artichoke hearts and pungent
olives out front. The differences
were underneath — the Pumba with
feta and a mild basil pesto sauce,
the Jungle Veggie with alfredo.
I had both on gluten-free crust,
SAHARA PIZZA
Rating:
740 Astor St., Astoria
503-325-0500
HOURS: 11 a.m. to 9 p.m.
Sunday through Thursday;
11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Friday and
Saturday.
PRICE: $ – Not unreasonable,
look for specials.
SERVICE: Young, jovial and
competent.
VEGETARIAN / VEGAN OP-
TIONS: A few vegetarian pies
and gluten-free crust.
DRINKS: Soda, beer, bottled
sports and energy drinks.
KEY TO STAR RATING SYSTEM
Top: This pizza is half Firebird, left,
and half Sahara.
Left: The Italian grinder sandwich
featured marinara, salami, peppero-
ni, mozzarella and sweet ham.
which was thankfully offered at
no extra charge. The pre-made
crust was another step in the right
direction toward gluten-freedom. It
was thin, barely chewy, and crisp.
Indeed, we’re getting there. Haven’t
arrived yet, but it’s promising. That
said, when I returned, I wasn’t
ready to give up the traditional
crust.
On it I had two of the more
reaching, experimental pies on
Sahara’s otherwise familair menu
— the Caribbean Crunch and the
Northwest Territory.
The Caribbean Crunch comfort-
ably split the difference between
savory and sweet with sun-dried
tomato pesto, garlic, feta and
mozzarella cheeses, with barbecue
chicken. Thinly shaved almonds
added texture and a nutty fi nish.
Cubes of mango seemed to melt
away in my mouth.
The Northwest Territory wasn’t
quite as successful. Rather, it
seemed to have a bit of identity
crisis, trying to be too many things
at once. With apples and walnuts,
dusted with cinnamon, it would’ve
made a fi ne, hearty, sweet alterna-
tive. But the mozzarella cheese,
pesto and onions went in the other
direction. Something like a goat
cheese would’ve been preferable. It
was almost there. A minor tune-up
and it could really be something.
Then again, basic pizzas — your
pepperonis, cheeses, Hawaiians and
the like — are where Sahara seems
to make hay. A wood-fi red, artisan
joint this is not.
Besides pies, Sahara offers
salads, breadsticks, grinders, pastas
and wings. While the counterperson
recommended the pizza above all
else, I dabbled. The salads are all
lettuce heavy. Five of the six have a
romaine base. The outlier is iceberg.
I tried the Caesar ($4.99 / small),
which did the trick with a dressing
heavy on cream, light on fi shiness.
However, I despised the addition of
Poor
Below average
Good
Excellent
Best in region
black olives.
I was impressed with the size of
the grinder; cut in two, it was nearly
a foot long altogether. I had the Ital-
ian ($8.99), with marinara, salami,
pepperoni, mozzarella and sweet
ham. Cooked in the pizza oven, the
bread was perfect, a crisp, golden
crust, soft on the inside. While one
could add lettuce and tomato for
an extra dollar, what the sandwich
really could’ve used is onions and
bell peppers.
I also tried the Traditional
Chicken Wings ($4.99, 1/2 pound),
opting for Firewalkers sauce.
When I opened the container the
steam from the sauce singed my
nostrils. It turned out to be Franks
Red Hot and little, if anything,
else. The six wings were moder-
ately sized, with a soft skin. They
aren’t something you’d go out of
your way for, but as an addition
to a delivery order for a party or
football game snacking, they’d
certainly pass muster.
The same can be of Sahara in
general. I mean, it’s pizza!