4C
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, JUNE 3, 2016
PARTING SHOT FROM DANNY MILLER
A weekly snapshot from The Daily Astorian and Chinook Observer photographers
Kendrik Byman, of Longview, Washington, leaps from on top of a hill overlooking the beach Sunday at Fort Stevens State Park.
ODDITY
Rocking fatherhood
A dude’s how-
to guide on
staying cool
By LEANNE ITALIE
Associated Press
N
EW YORK — Before
parenthood, Chris Kor-
nelis rocked it as a
music writer for Seattle Weekly.
Two kids later, he’s still making
a living as a writer, a freelancer,
and recently added a new book
to his resume, a how-to guide
for dads-to-be who want to stay
cool.
And he rocks that, too. Who
else gets Guns N’ Roses bass-
ist Duff McKagan to write his
foreword, in which he recalls of
his own road trip to fatherhood:
“I remember reading ‘What to
Expect When You’re Expect-
ing’ when my wife was preg-
nant with our fi rst daughter.
I also remember being, quite
frankly,
freaked-the-(bleep)
out.”
Well said, Duff.
This book, “Rocking
Fatherhood,” takes a cheeky
week-by-week approach that
might just soothe some new
daddy nerves and help out in
the empathy, sympathy, gotta-
buy-some-gear departments.
With kids who are now
5 and 14 months, Kornelis,
34, takes on everything from
ear infections to egg poach-
ing, breast-feeding to bonding.
There’s swaddling, playlists
and quirky interviews, like his
chat with the pediatrician of his
childhood.
There’s also the angst he
endured after being laid off
from Seattle Weekly while
shouldering the responsibility
of breadwinner for a growing
family. Was it time to abandon
big dreams in favor of father-
hood? Forget taking career
risks to earn a bigger paycheck?
Ultimately, he decided his
“big project” post unemploy-
ment wasn’t a big project at all.
It was a lifestyle choice: to con-
tinue freelancing and writing
books so he could be around
for the family.
A conversation with Chris
Kornelis:
AP: What kind of cool are
you writing about, the cool of
being a music journalist or the
cool that helps you avoid being
stabbed in the neck by your
pregnant and emotional wife?
Kornelis: The cool as in not
losing your cool and remain-
ing calm and really taking the
opportunity to enjoy the special
time that is having a new baby.
It’s a really exciting time. It’s
not the time to get unnecessar-
ily stressed and anxious.
AP: Where do dads go
wrong
generally
during
pregnancy?
Kornelis: For me, I was
able to kind of subconsciously,
in a way, forget that my wife
was pregnant and not always
be as attentive as I should
have.
My wife has a different
defi nition of cleanliness than
I do, for example. If it weren’t
for her I would literally be liv-
ing in my own fi lth. There
were times during her preg-
nancy when I would actually
get frustrated. Like why are
you cleaning the shower, why
aren’t you sitting down and
putting your feet up?
That was bad on me. I
should have said ... I know she
has a hard time relaxing when
things aren’t picked up and I
need to step forward and do a
little bit more.
AP: Do you think younger
dads get it more than, say, the
“Leave it to Beaver” dad?
Kornelis: My dad was a
fantastic father. My dad was a
very active dad. He didn’t have
as many of the opportunities
that I did in the sense that there
wasn’t as much of a fl exible
work environment. I have had
more fl exibility so I’ve played
a slightly different role.
It’s not a function of my
dad not getting it, because he
really did. It was the reality of
the time.
AP: Why is the diaper bag
so important to dudes? What
is your dream bag?
Kornelis: It IS important.
You’re going to be using it
all day, every day. Get a bag
that’s not like a fanny pack.
Buy something you can see
yourself carrying. There’s no
reason to put on the sweats
and use a gross nylon bag.
Get the good one. I say go
for it. We’re still mem-
bers of the human race. If
you can treat yourself, treat
yourself. Get a leather back-
pack if that’s what you like.
I like the Filson bags.
It’s the whole having a
baby changes everything
and it sucks undertone. You
don’t have to give up.
AP: What are some of
your cautionary tales?
Kornelis: The sleep
deprivation is real. The
sympathy
pregnancy
weight is real. I just gave
away a pair of $200 jeans
because I’ve been very
sympathetic for the last
couple of years.
Another thing is the
over-worrying
about
breast-feeding. I wish we
would have spent less
time the fi rst time around
worrying about whether our
son was fed off the breast or
with a bottle. He’s going to
turn out just fi ne either way.
AP: Your elephant in the
room during pregnancy is
“What to Expect When You’re
Expecting.” What’s your take
on that pregnancy bible?
“Ro cking Fatherhood: The Dad-to-B
e’s Guide to Staying Cool”
Kornelis: We had it in the
house. You take it for what it’s
worth. It has good information
but it places as much empha-
sis on all of these things that
could go wrong that probably
aren’t going to go wrong. ... I
mean, people generally don’t
need to be worried about
shark attacks but that
book is like a shark attack for
every week.
AP: So what’s on your list
of things many parents think
they need to know during
pregnancy, but don’t really
need to worry about?
Kornelis: We should be
focusing on what we know
is going to happen, focusing
on the family and not things
that have very slim chances of
ever happening. We should be
focusing on what we know is
going to happen, focusing on
the family.
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