FEATURES
6A
How to ix before it’s too late?
Dear Annie: I’d like to ix the
relationship between my iancee
and my mother before things get
out of hand.
My iancee, “Beth,” ixates
on instances where she feels
my mother has slighted her. For
example, Beth calls me by a
shortened version of my name,
a nickname my mother hates and
has ranted on about. My mother
has also raved about the many tal-
ents and successes of the friends I
had in high school (a decade ago)
while only complimenting Beth
on how “cute” she is (something
that annoys Beth to no end.)
I either don’t recognize these
issues in the moment, or I’m
not present when they happen. I
have told my mother how much
Beth means to me and asked her
directly whether there is some-
thing she doesn’t like about
her, but it’s made no difference.
Mom has a tendency to run at
the mouth and I’m not convinced
she thinks about how her words
impact those around her. I can
understand why Beth feels ani-
mosity from Mom.
Both my family and my ian-
cee are extremely important to
me. Beth gets along with the rest
of my family, but it seems that
Annie’s
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every interaction with my mother
leads to hurt feelings. I would
suggest a direct conversation
between the two, but that possi-
bility seems remote. How can I
improve this relationship before
it reaches a breaking point? —
Stuck in the Middle
Dear Stuck: First we com-
mend you for recognizing how
damaging this dynamic is and
making an effort to ix things.
Your mother sounds jealous with
her unlattering comparisons and
subtle criticisms. But Beth seems
insecure and overly focused on
slights, intentional or not.
Please talk to them separately.
Tell your mother irmly that she
must accept your iancee or she
will be the one to lose out. Explain
that she raised you well, so she
should trust your choice in a life
partner. Add that getting along
with Beth means having another
person to love, and more access
to you and future grandchildren.
Then speak to Beth. Tell her
that Mom is anxious, and fear-
ful that she is losing her son. She
needs reassurance, tolerance and
patience. Make sure Beth under-
stands that you love Mom and
aren’t going to cut ties. But if the
two of them refuse to accept one
another, there is nothing wrong
with visiting Mom on your own
and letting Beth stay home.
Dear Annie: A while back
you had a letter from “Stuffy in
the Suburbs,” who complained
that her neighbor smoked on his
back porch, and the smoke wafted
into her bedroom. She liked to
sleep with the windows open and
her husband was allergic to the
smoke.
A cheap, easy solution to
the problem is to buy a window
fan and direct the low outward.
There’s no incoming smoke, and
you get a nice breeze along with
some white noise to aid slumber.
— Shreveport, Louisiana
Dear Shreveport: We also
recommended a fan, but we
didn’t mention the added beneit
of the white noise. Thanks for the
helpful postscript.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, MAY 13, 2016
Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Meditation
lends spiritual lift and a vantage point from
which you can recognize the totality of your
life patterns — some have served you well,
and others have brought you needless pain.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Today’s im-
peccable timing is dependent upon some-
thing as unpredictable as another person’s
actions. What happens is truly remarkable
in its clockwork precision.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Of course
you’re not so callow that you rely on an-
other person to make you feel attractive.
Neither are you impervious to compliments
and special attention. It’s nice, and you de-
serve it! If it’s not forthcoming, it’s time to
ask why.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). You
shouldn’t have to solve problems in order
to earn the attention and affection of your
loved ones, but you’ll probably solve them
anyway. Helping is your nature.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). One of your
greatest joys in life is in making things.
Anyone who can help by giving you the
space and/or resources to build what’s in
your mind will automatically become your
favorite person.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Excuses that
were legit in an age without Internet and
Google just don’t fly anymore. Just about
everything you need to learn is readily ac-
cessible, and you’ll take advantage of that
today.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Your mind is
powerful and restless these days, so you
need to give it lots to do. Run it or it will run
you. Think about what you want your expe-
rience to be, not what you fear.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Strangers
notice that special charisma in you that
your nearest and dearest may have be-
come blind to, due to overexposure. It is
only when you return after being gone for
a spell that they’ll be able to see it again.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Are
you forgetting something? Possibly it’s a
birthday, bill or casually made social hook-
up. Whatever the misstep, correct it before
sundown to minimize damages.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). It’s a
bad time to take a break. There’s so much
vivacious momentum going right now it
would be a shame to back off. See your
work through, and carry relationships on to
the next level.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You can
trust the information that comes to you
through subconscious channels, even
when it doesn’t logically coincide with the
official story or anything else people are
trying to get you to believe.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You are the
priority to another person, and you don’t
take the role lightly. It comes with respon-
sibilities, including the onus to reciprocate,
seizing every opportunity to make that per-
son feel important.
SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAY (May 14). The
butterflies return to your stomach in June, a
sign that you’re on to something you were
meant to explore. Take it to the next level in
July. A class will be involved. Your family will
entertain you and make you proud in Au-
gust. You’ll never be sorry for what you do
that’s above and beyond the call in October.
Gemini and Leo adore you. Your lucky num-
bers are: 19, 32, 3, 38 and 5.