OPINION
4A
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, MAY 10, 2016
GOP has only itself to blame
Founded in 1873
STEPHEN A. FORRESTER, Editor & Publisher
LAURA SELLERS, Managing Editor
BETTY SMITH, Advertising Manager
CARL EARL, Systems Manager
JOHN D. BRUIJN, Production Manager
DEBRA BLOOM, Business Manager
HEATHER RAMSDELL, Circulation Manager
CMH has come a
long way in 25 years
Collaboration with OHSU
yields a new cancer center
olumbia Memorial Hospital not that long ago was a
troubled institution. Twenty-ive years ago, an irrespon-
sible administrator was running the hospital into the ground.
And the Dr. Timothy Patrick case — ultimately settled by the
U.S. Supreme Court — had the practical effect of decimating
Astoria’s physician community.
The hospital’s next CEO, appropriate collaborator than
Terry Finklein, and his chief Oregon Health & Science
inancial oficer, Dave Petrie, University. The partnership
began the process of rebuild- has reaped beneits also in the
ing the hospital’s inances and Casey Eye Institute, cardiol-
credibility. Slowly Finklein ogy and the emergency room.
had success in recruiting phy-
The Knight Cancer Center
sicians. When Erik Thorsen is taking a leap in coming
became Finklein’s successor here, as well. This will be its
in 2010 doctor recruitment irst such venture of its kind in
remained a pressing task,
the state.
In the context of that lir-
The great beneit is that
tation with death and ulti- cancer patients in this region
mate resurrection, the hospi- will not have to travel to
tal’s architect’s appearance Longview, Washington, or
before the city Design Review Portland for radiation treat-
Committee last week seems ment. CMH estimates that
miraculous. The committee 6,700 people will be treated
approved plans for a new can- in the new center during its
cer center, which is an off- irst year. The interior con-
shoot of the Knight Cancer cept for the new center is that
Center at Oregon Health and “it will feel less like a hospi-
Science University.
tal and more like a hotel,” said
All public projects these Thorsen.
days are based on partner-
Health care is a community
ships and leveraging. Our asset, and this new center will
hospital could not ind a more raise that value geometrically
C
Obama revives a bad
Park Service proposal
I
t made national news a
dozen years ago when the
George W. Bush administra-
tion tried to raise money for
the National Park Service by
marrying it to corporate mar-
keting. A very different admin-
istration is now in power, but
it is resurrecting the same idea.
The latest iteration would
“give corporate donors
expanded naming rights, use
of National Park symbols in
advertising and much greater
inluence over park manag-
ers and National Park Service
(NPS) decisions,” accord-
ing to Public Employees for
Environmental Responsibility.
The Obama version has a
distinctly problematic spin:
according to PEER, it requires
“park superintendents to spend
large amounts of oficial time
on private fundraising. The
plan makes ‘philanthropic
success’ a core requirement
to serve in an NPS leadership
position.”
It’s easy to envision an argu-
ment that equates park super-
intendents with the executive
directors of private nonproit
groups. Every executive who
leads one of the nation’s tens
of thousands of “good causes”
knows he or she will spend
much time cultivating con-
nections with company bosses
and wealthy individuals capa-
ble of writing large checks.
However, as we editorial-
ized in 2006, “Conservation
must be the fundamental man-
agement principle not only of
key historical assets, but of
the national park system as a
whole. Our parks are for all
time, not just today, and for all
Americans, not just those who
can igure out some means to
proit from them.” Hustling
for sponsorships and dona-
tions should never be a funda-
mental part of the job descrip-
tions for local national park
superintendents.
There’s no question that
parks need Congress to pro-
vide enough money. NPS
faces a $11.5 billion mainte-
nance backlog.
There are places to ind this
money. For example, buying
1,585 new F-35 ighter jets
instead of the currently planned
total of 1,700 would supply all
the money NPS needs.
The National Park Service
plan on “philanthropic partner-
ships” is open for public com-
ment through May 16.
ness in Cleveland, many of
inable — and elect Trump
us will look elsewhere for a
to our highest ofice — is
credible candidate to oppose
severely unsettling.
Even the president,
he Republican Party is trapped both Trump and Clinton,”
Erickson
told
CNN.
speaking
of Trump at a
between a rock and huckster.
If you didn’t already
news conference on Friday,
Now that all of their other pres- believe that whoever wins
had to impress upon every-
idential candidates have dropped the Democratic nomination
one how serious it is that the
out of the race, Donald Trump is the would be a huge favorite to
country is lirting with disas-
ter: “I just want to empha-
last demagogue standing. He is their win in November, a third-
size
the degree to which we
presumptive nominee. Their party party conservative candidate
Charles
would
seal
the
deal.
are
in
serious times and this
Blow
belongs to him. It’s a YUUGE …
But please, shed not a sin-
is a really serious job. This
disaster.
gle tear for this conservative calamity. is not entertainment. This is not a real-
Now the few remaining serious They brought it on themselves. They ity show. This is a contest for the presi-
folks in that party have to make a deci- allowed their unhinged contempt for dency of the United States. “
sion: support this man who, if current — and in some cases, even hatred of —
Sure, there are some prominent
trends in polling hold, is likely to lose Obama drive them insane, into the arms Republicans tucking their tails, biting
the general election by an overwhelm- of a walking absurdity who catered to their tongues and swallowing hard as
ing margin (and likely do even more their rage.
they begrudgingly announce their sup-
damage to the party brand and hurt the
Now, that man — simultaneously port for the presumptive Republican
chances of down-ballot candidates), or an unbelievable joke and an undeni- nominee.
they can … wait, they don’t really have able threat — is on the verge of ripping
But they no doubt see what the Pew
another option other than to sit out this the party, and indeed the country, apart Research Center reported last month:
cycle and pretend that their party hasn’t (even as he insists that he’s “very much “Unfavorable opinions of the G.O.P.
gone stark raving mad.
a uniier”).
are now as high as at any point since
The House speaker, Paul Ryan,
It’s not that Trump’s chances of 1992.” They know that Trump will
told CNN last week that he is “just not winning in November are particularly send that number sinking, as if tied to
ready” to support Trump.
good. According to The Upshot, “If a brick.
Jeb Bush posted
today’s general elec-
Trump has used a toxic mix of bully-
on Facebook, “I will
tion polling holds true, ing and bluster, xenophobia and nation-
But please, Hillary Clinton will alism, misogyny and racism, to appeal
not vote for Donald
Trump.” His brother
defeat Donald to the darker nature of the Republican
shed not a easily
and father are both
Trump.”
Party and secure his place as the unlike-
refusing to endorse
The Los Angeles liest presidential nominee in recent
single tear
Trump.
Times put it in even American history.
for this
Mitt Romney, the
starker terms: “To
That paved his path, coupled with
Republicans’ last pres-
reach the 270 elec- what Jim Clifton, chairman and CEO at
conservative toral votes it takes, the Gallup, called earlier this year “a stag-
idential nominee, has
also said that he won’t
businessman and real- gering” three-fourths of Americans
calamity.
support Trump.
ity TV star will have believing “corruption is ‘widespread’
Lindsey Graham said last week that to carry a number of states that have not in the U.S. government.” As Clifton
he “cannot in good conscience” support voted Republican in well over a gener- emphasized: “Not incompetence, but
Trump.
ation, while prevailing in several bat- corruption.”
Many prominent Republicans have tlegrounds where, polls show, he starts
There is real pain in America, and
also indicated that they will skip the behind.”
where you sit along the ideological
party’s convention.
No, the threat is not that he will spectrum dictates whom you see as
CNN reported last week that Erick necessarily win, but that he will fur- your Satan and whom as your savior. It
Erickson, a conservative blogger, radio ther poison our national dialogue in the appears that enough Republican voters
host and leader of the #NeverTrump six months between now and Election have opted for the combo package, for
movement, has “had a number of con- Day, and the off chance that maybe, which the party is likely to pay a hefty
versations about laying the groundwork just maybe, a September surprise could price.
for a third-party candidate to oppose turn his sliver of a chance into an actual
Congratulations,
Republicans,
Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton in victory.
you’ve hitched yourselves to the mad-
the general election.”
This what-if, worst-case possibil- man-driven carriage, and it’s heading
“If the delegates ratify this mad- ity that America might do the unimag- for the cliff.
By CHARLES M. BLOW
New York Times News Service
T
Trump or Ryan: Who’s king of the hill?
By MAUREEN DOWD
New York Times News Service
ASHINGTON — Paul
Ryan and Donald Trump
sit down at Republican National
Committee headquarters on Capitol
Hill to hash out a couple little
things, like who is running the party
and who is the actual Republican.
W
“Welcome
to Washington,
Donald,” Ryan
says,
shak-
ing hands with
the presumptu-
ous nominee.
“Reince says
you’re far more
gracious in pri-
vate than in pub-
lic and I sure
hope that’s true.”
AP Photo/Evan Vucci
House Speaker Paul Ryan
Maureen
Dowd
Trump smirks and pulls out his bottle
of industrial-strength sanitizer, squirting
a prodigious amount on his hands.
Trying to thaw the chill, the House
speaker displays his best ingratiating
Irish undertaker air. “Hey,” he says,
“thanks for not calling me Lyin’ Ryan.”
“I never use the same adjective
twice,” Trump replies coolly. “As you
know, I do have killer instincts. That’s
how I knocked out 16 losers. So let’s
try a few names for kicks. Pious Paul?
Pompous Paul? Phony Paul? Back-Stab-
bing, Blindsiding Paul who hung me out
to dry to protect his own presidential
ambitions for 2020?”
Ryan blanches, protesting: “No, no, I
just want us to come together with a pos-
itive vision.”
“I am positive,” Trump says,
manspreading as party aides cower in
the corners. “I’m positive that what you
did was terrible. You’re just giving cover
to more traitors, like that reject Lind-
sey Graham, who I beat like a toy drum.
Now Nasty Lindsey’s on TV spewing
hate and saying my convention should
be held in Area 51. The only number he
needs to remember is zero — the num-
ber of votes he got.”
Ryan puts on his best altar-boy
demeanor, which annoys Trump.
“Look at that face!” the billionaire
mocks. “Or should I say two? Two-Faced
Paul. You’re just mad because you and
Mitt wanted to lead white male Amer-
ica and instead I’m going to. Romney
choked. And what about that time you
lied about how fast you ran a marathon?
Cheatin’ Ryan. A choker and a cheater.”
“Now Donald, be reasonable,” Ryan
says. “I’m just trying to igure out how to
endorse you and not put my own major-
ity at risk. We can’t be a bigoted, angry
party. You just make our problem with
AP Photo/Steve Helber
Donald Trump
Hispanics worse when you tweet a pic- hate each other always pretend not to
ture of yourself eating a taco bowl on once the nomination has been clinched.
Cinco de Mayo.”
Jeez, the Bushes are boycotting your
“No way, José,” Trump says. “That convention.”
got 80,000 retweets and 100,000 likes.
Trump harrumphs. “Well, I have
Muy bueno. I have 8 million Twitter fol- Four-Eyes Rick Perry doing a grov-
lowers. You have, like, 1 million and eling about-face to support me. Who
need two accounts to get there.”
wants the Bushes, that pathetic dynasty?
Ryan rolls his eyes. “Thousands Sour grapes because I called out W. on
of those retweets were by people you his horrible war and Jeb on his terrible
offended,” he says. “You
campaign. No low energy in
can’t judge everything by
Cleveland! My convention
‘There is going to rock with celeb-
numbers. We have to main-
tain American values. Ban-
and hot women. We’re
can be rities
ning Muslims is not what we
going to have Mike Tyson
stand for. Try to be more like
and that tiger. We’re going
only
Reagan.”
to have Bobby Knight and
“Fine,” Trump shoots one No. Miss Aruba M.C.-ing. We
back. “I’ll start my campaign
might even have a beauty
in Mississippi Klan terri- 1, Two- pageant with Gary Busey
tory like Reagan. You estab-
Carly won’t be in it.
Face.’ judging.
lishment guys are such pho-
But your wife——”
nies. You wanna use race as
Ryan interrupts quickly,
Donald
a wedge issue but be subtle
“Donald, you have to stop
Trump
about it. I AM NOT SUB-
insulting women. You’re
TLE. I have brought millions
starting to make Todd Akin
of people into the party and you have sound like Lena Dunham.”
been unbelievably unfair to me. I am the
“Women love me!” Trump objects.
greatest political phenomenon in history.” “Didn’t you see that famous New York
“Donald, you need to rein it in,” Post headline quoting Marla, my second
Ryan persists. “Your volatility scares wife, saying, ‘Best Sex I’ve Ever Had’?
people. Everyone is shuddering at the I love the women who vote for me —
thought that you are about to get clas- even the poorly educated, lat-chested
siied intelligence brieings and at your ones.”
bromance with Putin. No one believes
Ryan, beaten down and late for his
that you’re a genuine conservative. You P90X workout in the House gym, gives
support Planned Parenthood, raising the it one last shot.
minimum wage and some higher taxes
“Donald, you need to stop quoting
on the wealthy, our people. You’re Ber- The National Enquirer and do some
nie Sanders with even weirder hair.”
homework,” he pleads. “You can’t sug-
“Well, Two-Face,” Trump retorts, gest we are going to slough off our debt,
“if you’re such a big-deal conserva- even though that’s what you did with
tive, why did you push for that budget your creditors when you kept going
increasing spending by billions, funding bankrupt. And you should remember
Obama’s executive amnesty program, that I’m the senior elected Republican in
relocation of terrorist refugees and sanc- the country.”
tuaries cities — but somehow no money
“For now,” Trump murmurs, taking
for the border fence? You’re a white out his hair spray for a spritz before he
Obama. Bad! Sad!! The nuns said your walks past the press octopus. “What I
budgets were so mean and un-Christian will remember is that you sabotaged me
they wanted to beat erasers around your when I should have been savoring my
success. And you should remember the
head.”
“Donald, the party is off the rails,” No. 1 rule from “The Art of the Deal”:
Ryan says. “Ordinarily, people who There can be only one No. 1, Two-Face.”