THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, MAY 9, 2016
FEATURES
Forgive nasty sister or not?
Dear Annie: I have suffered
with lymphoma for 17 years, but
praise God, I am doing well now.
Ten years ago, my sister, “June,”
was tested to see if she could
be a bone marrow donor. She
was a perfect genetic match and
bragged that she had the “right
stuff.” The donation wasn’t nec-
essary at that time, but it was
reassuring.
June began calling me weekly
to tell me her troubles with her
cheating husband, her inances,
her dog, etc. I was supportive
and helpful. Last year, I was hos-
pitalized with severe pneumo-
nia, spent two weeks in intensive
care, and was so weak I ended
up in a wheelchair. June never
once called or visited, nor did she
return any of my calls. My oncol-
ogist informed me that I desper-
ately needed the bone marrow
transplant or I might die.
When I inally talked to June,
she told me my illness was mak-
ing her anxious. I asked if she
could donate blood so that I could
get ready for the bone marrow
transplant. She laughed and said,
“I thought you were supposed to
die last month.” She then told me
that donating blood didn’t it into
her schedule, and would I please
Annie’s
Mailbox
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
Kathy
Mitchell and
Marcy Sugar
stop telling her my troubles. She
insulted me for 20 minutes before
hanging up. Shortly after, she
sent me a letter, which I assumed
would be an apology. Boy, was I
wrong! She said I had made no
effort to understand that she was
frightened, and the rest of her let-
ter was nothing but cruel words.
I realized then that she was
never going to donate. I was for-
tunate to ind a wonderful unre-
lated donor, had the transplant,
and spent ive months in the
hospital.
June just sent me a birthday
gift. I can’t bring myself to open
it and I can’t seem to throw it
away. Annie, I don’t want to deal
with June’s self-pity again, but
I often cry about losing a sister.
How can I get over my hurt? —
Disappointed in Texas
Dear Texas: June’s fears and
anxiety are no excuse for nasti-
ness. The way to get over your
hurt is to forgive her for being
cowardly and self-centered, and
decide whether you are willing
to maintain the relationship on
a more supericial level, expect-
ing much less from her from now
on. If so, open the gift and send
a thank-you note, the same way
you would for a distant acquain-
tance. Otherwise, return her gift
unopened and look for supportive
friends and family members else-
where. You can start with sup-
port groups through the Ameri-
can Cancer Society (cancer.org).
Dear Annie: You had a letter
from “Stressed Daughter,” who
is the primary caregiver for her
elderly mother. Please suggest
that she contact her local area
agency on aging. She can search
by ZIP code at www.n4a.org.
I work for the local Depart-
ment of Aging and Long Term
Care in my area, and we offer an
extensive variety of support and
information. — Trying to Help
Dear Trying: Thank you for
the additional, useful suggestion.
We hope anyone in this position
will check their local area agency
on aging for assistance in inding
resources.
5A
Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). The fear of
travel, called “hodophobia,” is common among
homebodies and adventurers alike. The only
difference is that the adventurers who suffer
from this phobia decide to go places in spite of
their fear. That’s your category now.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). It is easier to
be patient with the faults and imperfections of
others when you recognize that you have your
own tidy set and would benefit greatly from
such courtesy.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Those who
cannot distinguish need from greed are dan-
gerous influences on everything and each
person around. Much trouble can be avoided
by clinging to the virtues of humility, modesty
and efficiency.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Someone is
trying to connect heart and soul to you while
being too unsure to connect via mobile phone.
You’re so sensitive now that you can feel when
people are thinking about you.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). If you wind up pay-
ing someone to fix your problem, try to get
as much information and experience from
the process as you can so you can be more
self-sufficient the next time something like this
comes up.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Long ago some-
one dear to you didn’t treat you with the care
you needed or the respect you deserved. You
can be sure that this person has regrets — not
that it brings you any satisfaction. (Well, maybe
a little!)
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You use what you
need and gladly give the rest to others. To you
it’s not even generosity, really; it’s just keeping
the resources flowing. It’s the kind of giving that
comes at no loss to you.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’re proud of
a loved one — as proud as anyone could be
in fact. Even so, you can’t claim the victory as
your own. Focus on your own domain of excel-
lence this afternoon.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Even
when you’re doing everything possible to
make your dream happen — and doing it all
very well at that — dreams take time to come
together. So if you haven’t started, get started
immediately!
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). There will
be surprising good fortune when you keep to
your course, which includes doing the some-
times tedious and currently very unglamorous
daily work. Low-key efforts will pay off in excit-
ing ways.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Instead of
trying to solve the problem, you try to solve
yourself. You’ll be effective in that to some de-
gree. Improvements in your all-around situa-
tion will render the original problem powerless
over your experience.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Don’t conflate
and confuse your suffering with creativity. The
two are not intertwined; nor are they inter-
changeable. You’ll be far more prolific when
you give up the habit or person that is causing
you pain.
TUESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (May 10). After this
year, you’ll no longer expect to be in relation-
ships with people who meet you halfway. You’ll
learn what it’s like to be so brilliantly compatible
that big compromise just isn’t necessary. Love
will take you for a spin and land you in a new
and improved version of home. You’ll make
good in a trade at the start of 2017. Pisces and
Gemini adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 11,
3, 25, 9 and 21.