West Lake
The Appetizer Plate
included fried shrimp,
barbecue pork, an egg
roll and fried wontons.
Chinese
G
Food is an afterthought at this Seaside restaurant
Growing up in the 1980s, my mom would take
my sister and I to Chinese every so often. These
long buried memories were dusted-off as I ate at
West Lake Chinese Restaurant & Lounge, not be-
cause the Seaside restaurant awoke some warm
nostalgia — rather it was more like a time warp,
where nothing had changed in 30 years.
West Lake’s booths are covered in red vinyl,
the carpets dark and matted, the tables worn with
a seemingly permanent stickiness. The walls and
ceilings are dotted with a modicum of dusty, life-
less Chinese art. The only thing missing was the
¿VK WDQN , KDG KRSHG WKDW EHKLQG :HVW /DNH¶V
aging exterior was a hole-in-the-wall offering a
few hidden gems. What I found, unfortunately,
matched the dilapidated wrapper.
I struggled on what to order. A server told me she
didn’t like the fried foods as much, and I should’ve
heeded her call. I didn’t open the drink menu, as it
ZDVYLVLEO\¿OWK\FRYHUHGLQVWLFN\VPXGJHV
I began with the Appetizer Plate ($8.95), a
sampler that included fried shrimp, barbecue pork,
an egg roll and fried wontons. Just a glance at all
that deep-fried breading spiked my blood pres-
sure. The wontons were the worst offenders. With
DOPRVWQRGLVFHUQLEOH¿OOLQJWKH\ZHUHMXVWELJ
crispy nothings. Do not order the fried wontons.
The fried shrimp weren’t much better, with thick
breading overwhelming the small, dry, tasteless
meat inside. The egg roll was large and too pep-
pery. The pink-ringed, sweet-and-sour slices of
barbecue pork were the only food on the plate
worth eating, though their distinction was mostly
a slight of hand, elevated by the meager company
they kept. The pork slices were lukewarm, barely
re-heated. I wondered, rather than being cooked
from scratch in the West Lake kitchen, if they’d
FRPHSUHPDGHIURPDSXUYH\RU7KH\ZHUHMXVW
so darn uniform — and dull.
I stumbled again into the entrée, Combination
No. 6 ($9.95), which included more of the bar-
becue pork. The Almond Fried Chicken had an
even more lopsided breading-to-meat ratio, may-
EH¿YHWRRQH:LWKDOOWKDWRLO\GHHSIULHGEDW
ter, the “special gravy” upped the fat content and
added salt. After being fried, the bread balls were
sprinkled with a dust of crushed almonds.
The Pork Fried Rice offered scant seasoning
and was stingy with the vegetables, much less any
chunks of pork. The Beef with Vegetables came
with water chestnuts, carrot, celery, mushrooms,
broccoli, onions and snap peas in a thin, salty sauce.
None were fresh. The beef, which there wasn’t a
whole lot of, was thin and spongy, almost soupy.
14 | April 21, 2016 | coastweekend.com
Midway through my meal, a group of near a
dozen appeared, most of them grade-school-aged
FKLOGUHQ7KH\ZHUHEURXJKWWRDQDGMDFHQWEDQTXHW
room, complete with ping pong table. They played
as I picked at my plates, dunking things in the si-
QXVFOHDULQJVSLF\PXVWDUGDQGFDPRXÀDJLQJELWHV
with sweet and sour sauce. I found myself lament-
ing many things: all the food I’d ordered that wasn’t
going to be eaten, that I’d be coming back for more,
and the pithy review I’d likely have to deliver.
On another trip I tried the Curry Beef ($9.95)
and was relieved to have a plate free of deep-fry-
ing and barbecue pork. The sauce was thin, cumin
heavy, and lacking the coconut milk of its Indian
counterpart. The beef was again spongy, accom-
panied by a few green bell peppers, carrots and
too many onions.
The Szechwan Chicken ($9.50) was similar,
in that the sauce was minimalist, lacking any
complexity or pep, and stacked high with onions.
The non-fried entrée dishes at West Lake were
melding together in my mind. Indeed, they were
Combination No. 6
includes deep-fried Al-
mond Chicken and Veg-
etable Beef.
VR VLPLODU ² MXVW VZDS D IRUJHWWDEOH VDXFH DQG
exchange a vegetable or two and there you have
LW1RZKHUHZDVEDODQFHVRXJKWRUWHFKQLTXHHP
ployed, be it Chinese or otherwise.
I spent one visit in the back lounge, which has
a pastoral view of the creek. A nutria swimming
and chasing off the ducks drew spectators to the
large windows. Otherwise, though, their gazes
ZHUH ¿[HG RQ WKH YLGHR VORWV , DSSUHFLDWHG WKH
long-time bartender’s brassy charm. Around her
and the slots a community gathered on a Friday
evening. At one point as many as 15 were ca-
rousing, giving hugs, catching up, gossiping and
KRSLQJWRKLWWKHMDFNSRW1RQHRIWKHPKRZHYHU
were eating.
I had the House Chow Don ($11), one of the
mouth
OF THE COLUMBIA
COAST WEEKEND’S LOCAL RESTAURANT REVIEW
Story and photos by THE MOUTH OF THE COLUMBIA • mouth@coastweekend.com
West Lake Chinese
Restaurant & Lounge
Rating:
1480 S. Roosevelt Drive, Seaside
503-738-3406
simplest-yet-convoluted concoctions I’ve had
as the Mouth, maybe ever. It was like a leftover
scramble cobbled together by a hungover frat
boy, dumping together the dregs from last night’s
take-out boxes. Nothing about the Chow Don was
the least bit Chinese, except maybe that dull, ev-
er-present, sweet-and-sour barbecue pork. Lumped
together in the pile was more spongy beef, shrimp,
WKHEDUEHFXHSRUNDQGWKHH[LVWHQWLDO¿JXUHHLJKW
of chicken and eggs, all scrambled, lukewarm and
teeming with onions. There were a few peas and
two different sizes of carrots — shreds and cubes
— suggesting multiple bags of frozen vegetables.
As much as any dish I had at West Lake, the
Chow Don was utterly discombobulated. It had
no reason for being. Really, none of this food did
— it wasn’t cheap, healthy, delicious or even cul-
turally representational.
Over the last 20 years, West Lake has passed
through a few different owners, though very lit-
tle has changed. That the restaurant remains in
business at all, I imagine, is because of the bar
and the slots. The kitchen is little more than an
afterthought. The food there was not only frozen
in time, but freezer-burnt. Even the fortune cookie
was stale.
HOURS: 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Sunday to Thursday, and
KEY TO RATINGS
11 a.m. to midnight Friday and Saturday.
PRICE: $ – Entrees hover around $10 but should be less
SERVICE: Local friendly, particularly in the lounge
VEGETARIAN / VEGAN OPTIONS: Just like the carni-
vores, vegetarians should look elsewhere
DRINKS: Full bar, coff ee, tea, soda
poor
below average
good & worth returning
excellent
outstanding, the best in the
Columbia-Pacific region
