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Dear Annie: In the past year, we
have been told that two members
of our family are gay. One of them
is transgender. At the time we were
told, most of us were speechless. I
did say, “I wish you happy, lovely
days ahead.” But how would every-
one want us to respond? What would
someone who recently came out as
gay or transgender like to hear? We
love them, and wish we had the right
words.
Can one of your readers help us
out? We don’t want to say anything
inappropriate. — Sincerely Want to
Know in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Dear Wilkes-Barre: We think
you handled this exactly right. Your
response was supportive without
being intrusive. But we also assume
that, like anyone else, LGBT peo-
ple have individual preferences for
how others respond to the news. And
we are certain they will let us know
whether they have any additional
suggestions.
Dear Annie: I just had to write and
give input regarding your response to
“My Brother’s Keeper.” She said her
brother is dying of cancer and is in
a nursing home, but they force him
to wear diapers and discourage him
from getting up to use the bathroom.
She wanted her brother to maintain
his dignity, but the staff was con-
Annie’s
Mailbox
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
Kathy
Mitchell and
Marcy Sugar
cerned about his falling. While your
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cally answer her question, “Is there
anything I can do?” The answer to
that is a resounding “Yes!”
I am a nurse with almost 40 years
of experience. I have worked in nurs-
ing homes and hospice, and have
taught nursing students and staff
about how to respond to such con-
cerns. First, “Keeper” was absolutely
correct in bringing this issue to the
night nurse. However, when she did
not receive a satisfactory response,
she should have taken her concern
further up to the director of nursing or
even the administrator.
All nursing homes are mandated to
adhere to certain standards intended to
protect the residents. It is NOT accept-
able to rely on adult diapers instead of
providing each resident with ways to
meet their basic care needs every two
hours. “Keeper” can also call the 800
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, APRIL 18, 2016
Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
number in her state to register a com-
plaint. The number is usually pro-
vided in the nursing home admission
papers and, by law, should be posted
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it, she should ask.
The administrator or director
of nursing is going to want to reach
a win-win result, not only because
it is the right thing to do, but also if
“Keeper” complains to the state, it
opens the door for a full-blown sur-
vey in which other, possibly worse,
things may be discovered, leading to
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of closure.
Please let “My Brother’s Keeper,”
as well as other family members with
loved ones in such facilities, know
that she is right to be concerned and
there is a way in which to address
her concern. — Advocating Nurse
Melissa
Dear Melissa: Thank you so much
for your comprehensive response.
Every care facility should have posted
the names, addresses and phone num-
bers of reporting agencies such as the
State Survey Agency, State Licensure
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Protection and Advocacy Network
and Medicare Fraud Control Unit. We
also recommend concerned family
members contact the Long-Term Care
Ombudsman in their area for help.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). The feuding
parties will work out their differences in the
court of their own making. You’ll help with
the negotiations and, due to your impartial
approach, will strike an agreement with rel-
ative ease.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). “Value” is a
tricky word, loaded with the emotional bag-
gage you’ve tied to it. Good news: Today
you’ve all the cutting devices you need to
detach from the meanings that keep you
from giving a higher value to your work.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Update: Your
fantasy life is still contained in your head,
and it’s not going anywhere without your
permission. So be bold in your imaginings!
Stellar ideas are born of wild, impossible
fantasies.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). A steadfast
and inflexible authority will be represented
in today’s dealings. Upon closer examina-
tion, maybe the powers that be are not as
rigid as they first seem.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Here’s a beautiful
dynamic: You ask for help and help is giv-
en. The assistance will so closely mirror the
thing you asked for that you’ll be inspired to
ask more specifically the next time.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). In this the-
ater game, you’re an actor, pretending the
stakes are very high for you. They aren’t.
Your great powers of empathy and imag-
ination allow you to play it as such and
make the scene all the more convincing.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). As the thing
you are passionate about takes over your
being, the “usual” things might suffer ne-
glect. You need those “usual” things! They
might fall to the wayside if you’re not care-
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
ful. Do be careful!
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Be careful
not to get into such a pattern of handling
everything yourself that you either forget or
refuse to enlist help. Let the others contrib-
ute. They’ll love you for it.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). For as
long as you’ve been alive, the day you were
wanting to come to pass — well, it has
passed. However far in the future it was, it
came. Use inevitability to your advantage.
Plan, and commit to the future. It’s real.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). There’s
a lot of confidence that comes with know-
ing what you are and are not capable of.
It doesn’t matter what goes in the second
category; some of it is going to be wrong.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’ll re-
ceive what you desire, and possibly even
in the schedule of your desiring, which, of
those two things, is the bigger deal. Timing
is everything. When it’s going in your favor,
don’t ask questions; just act.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You’ll enjoy
what you do for money — which is some-
thing to celebrate in and of itself. You and
your work are a perfect fit at the moment.
You know this because of all the fun you’ll
have today.
TUESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (April 19). Like
a drummer settling into his favorite beat,
this year you hit your groove! Through June,
everything will click along, rock-steady and
solid. July brings the breakout vacation. Au-
gust represents a merging of families. The
money that comes in September is best
invested in your education. Aquarius and
Scorpio adore you. Your lucky numbers
are: 4, 33, 6, 14 and 22.