GENTLEMEN JANES
TODDLE ON THE CATWALK
FOR A CAUSE
Photo by Joshua Bessex
Yazmin Shiraz, a Jane Barnes Revue Gentleman Jane, strikes a pose at the Malama Day Spa in Astoria.
JANE BARNES REVUE KICKS
UP ITS HEELS SATURDAY
Story by KATE GIESE
W
Photo by Joshua Bessex
The Brownsmead Flats, in drag, opened the 2015 revue as “The Brownsmead Floozies.”
12 | March 31, 2016 | coastweekend.com
hat’s your idea of entertain-
ment?
If it’s the rollicking, bois-
terous, even bawdy kind,
don’t miss the Astoria Down-
town Historic District Associa-
tion’s sixth-annual Jane Barnes
Revue.
This year, the event is 7:30 p.m. Saturday,
April 2, at the Astoria Event Center. Then, barring
any diva-driven tantrums or catastrophic ward-
robe malfunctions, a bevy of local beauties — 18
in all — will strut their stuff on a cat walk that’s
been re worked to afford even more opportunities
to see and participate in this delicious topsy -turvy
extravaganza!
Painted, bewigged and dressed to the prover-
bial nines, these are the Gentlemen Janes (or GJs),
almost all straight guys in drag. Joining them this
year, will be ¿ ve, cross-dressing women. All are
local business owners, town “movers and shak-
ers” or simply good-natured souls willing to en-
gage in somewhat naughty, but harmless hijinks
for a good cause.
It’s worth making the scene just to watch guys
navigate the cat walk in women’s heels! Rumor
has it that one year a GJ had a bit too much wine
backstage and actually fell off the cat walk onto a
table full of women.
It’s signi¿ cant that the Jane Barnes Revue
debuted amid the heightened historical focus of
Astoria’s bi centennial year. It too draws from our
colorful past, plucking a plucky Jane Barnes from
the pages of Astoria history and dropping her into
the middle of a drag show.
Not surprisingly, the event has quickly become
the ADHDA’s second biggest fundraiser. Last
year’s show sold out completely!
Photo by Joshua Bessex
An audience member reaches to pick up a feather on the stage, while Scooter Yorktown, performed by Jade Kiosse, dances during the
2015 Jane Barnes Revue.
THE LIVE AUCTION
ADHDA President Dulcye Taylor will emcee
the Revue. With help from Norma Hernandez,
she’ll also run the live auction at intermission.
“We got some great items donated,” she prom-
ises.
Know too that it will actually be possible to
pay to get someone up on the cat walk. You put up
the money and your designee will be hustled back-
stage, made up, put in a dress and wig and walk
the walk. Just ask locals Darren Orange and Buzz
Bissinger who “surprise walked,” as it’s known,
last year.
When it comes to auction item donations,
they’ve poured in from local businesses like Fin-
nWare, Holly McHone Jewelers, the Cannery Pier
Hotel and others and from area residents.
“The community is always very generous,”
says Taylor.
Also helping are local breweries, distillers,
restaurants, beauty salons (including the Mala-
ma Day Spa where Riki Fleischman works her
cosmetological wizardry doing the GJ’s makeup
every year), used -clothing stores like Garbo’s and
more.
Judging from past auctions, bidders love the
experience packages on offer. So, expect some re-
ally interesting things to be up for grabs. For the
right price, for example, you can tour the headwa-
ters of the watershed.
Alas, there’s no get-out-of-jail -free card, but
the Astoria Police Department will give you a gun
and shooting range time. As an added attraction,
Marco Davis will perform during intermission.
Jane Barnes Revue
7:30 p.m. Saturday, April 2
Doors open at 7 p.m.
Astoria Event Center
255 Ninth St . in Astoria
503-325-4356
Groups of seats are not available this year. All
tickets are for single seats : VIP seats are $70;
catwalk seats are $50; not-so-close seats are $40
and general admission is $20.
Tickets are available at Old Town Framing, 1287
Commercial St. in Astoria; call 503-325-5221.
Tickets may be available at the door, but there’s a risk
the event will sell out again this year.
In terms of the amount of money raised
($15,000 in 2015), it got a real boost when peo-
ple in the audience spontaneously began stuf¿ ng
money in GJs’ clothes—up sleeves, down neck-
lines and even slipped into garters — as the stars
of the show wowed everyone. One former GJ told
this writer that s/he raised close to $1,700 one year.
It’s all in fun, of course, and means great things
for downtown Astoria.
A WIN FOR DOWNTOWN
The small, but effective downtown group
consists of a board of directors (11 in all plus
one ex of¿ cio) one full-time staff er whose sala-
ry is supplemented with funds from Americorps’
RARE program and an annual budget of around
$140,000.
At www.astoriadowntown.com, we learn that
the ADHDA has taken on some tall tasks. As a
non pro¿ t formed to preserve the unique essence
of Astoria’s historic downtown and promote the
area’s continued health and viability, community
involvement is key, as is ensuring that same is in-
vested in what projects are undertaken in a given
year.
Just a few of these projects, include :
Three annual fundraisers: the Paci¿ c North-
Photo by Joshua Bessex
Photo by Joshua Bessex
Marco Davis, performing as Daylight Cums, is showered with
praise and money, while dancing to the song “Big Spender” at
the 2015 Jane Barnes Revue. The money from the event went to
the Astoria Downtown Historic District Association.
Otillia Bruford peeks at the camera at Malama Day Spa. The spa
serves as a key hair and makeup source for the Gentlemen Janes
of the ADHDA’s annual Jane Barnes Revue, set for April 2.
west Brew Cup in September the Jane Barnes
Revenue, usually in March or April and the new-
this-year Shore Style Wedding Faire in January
• The ever-popular monthly “Second Saturday
Art Walk”
• The Fourth of July Walking Parade
• Promotional events for the holidays, like
“Plaid Friday “and “Skate Into the Holiday Sea-
son” at the Astoria Armory as well as downtown
lighting that makes Astoria “sparkle”
• Hosted a popular series of Downtown Walk-
ing Tours, highlighting downtown businesses,
building history and revitalization efforts.
In 2015, the ADHDA amassed over 2,700 vol-
unteer hours , leveraging its budget in a big way.
The group’s creativity and hard work hasn’t
hurt either.
Peter Gimre, past ADHDA president and board
member enthuses, “I’ve been with them forever.
(The ADHDA) has never been stronger than it
presently is so many people are involved. It seems
like nearly every year, they’re getting an award
from the state’s Oregon Main Street program.”
James Finley’s article on Barnes for the Ore-
gon Historical Society’s “Oregon Encyclope-
dia.”
“Although mocked over the years, even
by historians, for being poorly educated and
ill-mannered, Barnes received sympathetic
treatment from historian George Quimby, who
saw her as a strong woman able to adapt to cir-
cumstances in a challenging world dominated
by men. ‘In terms of upward mobility within
the rigid class structures of early 19th Centu-
ry England,’ Quimby wrote in a 1980 Paci¿ c
NW Quarterly article, ‘JB Robson was a tre-
mendous success. For her day, she was cer-
tainly a liberated woman — she had the ability
to endure and even enjoy what she could not
change, and she knew how to use men, the
only option open to a woman who seems to
have had a zest for life.’”
These other dimensions to her character
shouldn’t put a damper on Jane Barnes Revue
revelries. In fact, it seems even more ¿ tting and
proper to pay homage to this redoubtable lady.
And if in the spirit of fun, this is done in a
ribald, less-than-genteel manner, the above-de-
scribed adventuress turned respectable married
lady (and mother of two boys), would proba-
bly have laughed uproariously and found it all
great fun, had she known.
Besides, as Taylor maintains, “it’s all crazy,
ridiculous fun”. She remembers when Gimre
(of Gimre’s Shoes) came out dressed as Mar-
lene Dietrich and warbled, Happy Birthday
Mr. President. “He did a damn good job too,”
she laughs.
“It’s kind of a shock ’n awe thing. You real-
ly don’t get it until you’ve been. Either you’ll
keep coming or you’ll say ‘that’s not for me.’”
WHO IS JANE BARNES?
In 1814, Jane Barnes, a former barmaid
from Portsmouth, England, and the ¿ rst Euro-
pean woman in Oregon , made the fatal mistake
of coming to the area with one man — Donald
McTavish — and leaving on the ship Columbia
with another — Anthony Robson, (the ship’s
captain who ended up marrying Jane).
In between, there was a lot of tittle -tattle
and innuendo that’s come down to us, much of
it courtesy of rejected suitors. Jane was notori-
ous — the epitome of fallen womanhood and
not very smart to boot.
More balanced accounts exist — like in
March 31, 2016 | coastweekend.com | 13