Gigging in
Pacii c County
Astoria author Matt Love recently toured the
Timberland Regional Libraries in Pacifi c County,
Washington — and the experience left an impression
It was 10:50 a.m. on a Thursday morning in
early February. I sat alone in the Ilwaco Library
meeting room wondering if a single person
would attend my 11 a.m. presentation about my
writing and publishing career.
At long last, after 14 years and almost 1,000
gigs around Oregon in support of the books, I
would ¿ nally suffer the indignity of ]ero atten
dance at one of my events.
Virtually every author has a “no one showed
up at my gig story,” and now mine was about to
unfold. See what you get for venturing outside
your familiar territory, Matt, I thought to my
self. Washington is going to deliver some pain
and humiliation.
And to make matters worse, two hours after
the Ilwaco nongig, I had to drive to the Ocean
Park library for another event. I would be the
only author in history with backtoback gigs in
the same day where no one showed up!
10:55 … room empty … I was walking the
plank, a perfect metaphor since Ilwaco is a sea
faring town.
6i[ months earlier I had arranged a Pacif
ic County tour that called for stops in Ilwaco,
Ocean Park, Naselle, South Bend and Raymond
during February. I no longer recall what sort of
delusional state led me to pitch such an insane
idea. In my mind, I had no readership in :ash
ington, but the folks at the Timberland Region
al Library System responded immediately and
happily set up the schedule. I was even guaran
teed $50 an appearance, which would just about
cover expenses for each gig.
At 10:58 a.m., a couple walked in and sat
down. A minute later, another person and a li
brary employee joined the group. I did the show,
a great conversation among friends rather than a
show, and sold ¿ ve books.
A few hours later, I left the Ocean Park Li
brary in a da]e after that presentation. Sixteen
people attended, they bought 16 books, and I
scored a free, groovy coffee table book from the
1970s about whales.
I did a little calculation: the ¿ rst two events
of the Paci¿ c County Tour had yielded the high
est percentage of attendees to books sold (105
percent) in my career. In Washington?
A few days later, seven people attended my
evening presentation at the Naselle Timberland
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10 | March 17, 2016 | coastweekend.com
Library. The staff provided sugar cookies and
strong coffee. I sold 11 books — another sales
record for the number of people at an event. I
didn’t know what to make of it.
The tour ramped back up a couple weeks
later with a p.m. Saturday show at the Ray
mond library. I had never visited Raymond
before and misjudged how long it would take
to drive there, so I ended up arriving two hours
early. Yes, I had two hours to kill in Raymond,
and I killed them with glee.
I bought two cassettes from a thrift store,
drank a Washington beer in the Pitchwood Inn,
and bought a $350 purple electric guitar from a
mystic or madman; I couldn’t decide his status.
At 1:57 p.m., I sat alone in the basement
meeting room of the Raymond Timberland
Library, surrounded by a real or fake plant
and forlorn bean bag chairs. This was it. The
streak was over. It hit me! I actually didn’t
want anyone to show up! If someone did, I
would tell them to leave. *(T O8T! I need
ed the noshow story for my new book about
gigging.
With one minute to go, two older women
walked in the door, and then we were joined
by a library employee. The gig was fun, inter
active. We shared Raymond stories, and I had
one to share. I sold six books and did a little
jig heading to the truck. On the way home, I
celebrated my success by stopping in at the
Dock of the Bay in Bay Center for an oyster
burger.
The following Saturday, I arrived 90 min
utes early in South Bend for a 2 p.m. show at
the library. I killed time by hitting an antique
shop and buying a double California Jam II
rock album and a vintage Hamm’s Beer light.
At 1:59 p.m., I was in the library thumbing
through my Astoria book, trying to choose
what piece to read. Not a single person was
in the audience, if you didn’t count the man
reading the newspaper in the front row of
chairs who seemed oblivious that an author
was about ready to read from his work. He
asked me, “What’s going on?”
I told him. He didn’t care, but he didn’t
leave either.
Could I count this man as an attendee and
continue the streak?
Submitted photo
At the South Bend Timberland Library, the audience
included a man who read a newspaper throughout
author Matt Love’s authore presentation. notforsale
Photo by Matt Love
Astoria author Matt Love recently held a book tour
at Timerland Regional Libraries in Pacifi c County,
Washington.
With 30 seconds to go, a
woman walked into the library and sat down
in the second row. Then my two close friends,
Tim and Angie, showed up in all their medic
inal dankness and took up the back row. A
couple minutes into the show, another woman
arrived and found a seat. The man kept read
ing the newspaper throughout the gig, occa
sionally dropping it to blast me with invec
tives like, “You’re ponti¿ cating,” or, “You’re
lucky you have an old dog that will listen to
you.”
It had come to this: Someone at a gig heck
led me about my old husky!
I took it all in with a smile and rolled the
man into the show. A lively discussion about
gentri¿ cation ensued, and a few times I had to
reel the man back into the stream of narrative of
the event. That was no problem for me. I’m a
teacher and do it in the classroom all the time.
Tim, a ¿ ne poet who goes to the body
of poetry like Rocky did to Apollo
Creed’s ribcage, recited one of his
poems to end the gig. When the show
concluded, Tim bought my rain book for
the man and I bought Tim’s book of poetry and
gave it to the heckler as a gift. Why not? “Turn
the other cheek,” someone once said in an old
book. The man seemed enthusiastic to receive
the gifts. He told me to keep up my hard work
in the classroom.
I sold another book to one of the ladies and
donated some of my titles to the library, as I had
done at all the other stops on the tour.
Thank you coastal southwest Washington,
for the quirkiest minitour of my literary life.
The library staffs were nothing short of wonder
ful in their treatment of a local author. I set sales
records and walked into some of the best stories
in recent memory.
I’ll be back.
Matt Love teaches at Astoria High School
and is author/editor of 14 books. They are
available at coastal bookstores, through
nestuccaspitpress.com and local libraries.
the arts
VISUAL ARTS • LITERATURE • THEATER • MUSIC & MORE
Story by MATT LOVE