THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2016
COMMUNITY
1B
‘SOMEONE SAVED MY LIFE’
MONSTER COOKIE
ho’s ready?: The North Coast News of Ocean Shores, Wash-
ington, reports that the Quinault Beach Resort and Casino,
also in Ocean Shores, is planning a $25 million expansion that in-
cludes a new 500-car parking garage that can also serve as a tsuna-
mi evacuation shelter (http://tinyurl.com/parkwave) — meaning
that between the garage and the new Ocosta School in Westport,
Washington, the other North Coast will have two tsunami shelters.
And this North Coast has ... ?
Diggin’ it: Did you know that the Oregon Department of Ge-
ology and Mineral Industries (DOGAMI) has a huge amount of
publications available online at www.oregongeology.org/pubs?
There are tsunami evacuation and inundation maps (read ’em and
weep), landslide databases, Cascadia newsletters, information
about Oregon’s mineral occurrences, prospects, and mines (Clat-
sop County will surprise you), and much more — all in all, an
interesting way to entertain yourself on a rainy winter afternoon.
Remember him?: Teenaged Colton Harris Moore, the Bare-
foot Bandit, stole a $450,000 boat in Ilwaco, Washington, and left
it in Warrenton — just one of his many escapades before being
caught and sent to the hoosegow. He is pictured in a self-portrait,
taken while he was on the run.
Well, we haven’t heard the last of him. There’s an update on
CBSNews.com (http://tinyurl.com/banditcbs), which mentions
that he now has a blog and website, www.tidalsocata.com. The
blog has come-hither installments like, “Why I Stole Airplanes,”
and is apparently being written while he’s in prison. A guilty read,
if ever there was one.
W
fell, and someone saved my life,” 85-year-old Jerry Swan-
son (pictured) told the Ear.
Around New Year’s, Jerry was walking, when he tripped and
fell over backward. Two men helped him up, and he thought he
was OK.
Shortly after the fall, off-duty bus driver MacKenzie Jones
spotted him, and noticed that he “wasn’t walking like Jerry.”
He is a frequent passenger on her bus route, so she offered him
a ride home. “, was Must trying to ¿nd something to do, and ,
found it,” she said. It must have been serendipity, because she
was a certi¿ed nursing assistant for 11 years.
She got out and helped him into her car, but to her alarm,
he almost passed out when he got in. It was obvious to her
that something was very wrong, even though “he sang me two
church songs that were absolutely beautiful,” she recalled.
He just wanted a ride home, but MacKenzie insisted that he
get medical care. “Jerry, you just need to get checked out,” she
told him, and drove him straight to Providence Seaside Hospi-
tal.
And it’s a good thing she did. His No. 3 cervical vertebrae
was cracked; if he had just gone home, it’s likely he would have
died or been paralyzed. The hospital sent him by ambulance to
Oregon Health & Science University Hospital, and now he’s in
Wheeler, recovering.
His only complaint about the whole experience was not
about the pain, or about having to wear a cervical collar. Nope.
“They cut off my new suit!” he exclaimed.
Far more important is his need to express his heartfelt
gratitude to MacKenzie for saving his life. “She needs to be
thanked,” he emphasized. “This is a great thing, as far as I’m
concerned. It’s always good to be able to say thanks.”
“I just was glad I was there when I was there, and that I could
help,” MacKenzie said. “He reminds me of my dad — so much
like my dad.”
“I hope more people help other people,” is her message to
the community. “We need more of that.”
‘I
PROCEED WITH CAUTION
es, young Parker Dougherty really is holding a huge
22-inch cookie in the photo shown. It was baked for
him by local Seaside chef Mark Kenny.
“He likes cookies and stuff,” Mark explained, “and being
that age, who wouldn’t want a cookie that big? Let’s go for
the gusto.”
So, what happened to the cookie, as if you can’t guess?
“He ate it,” Mark replied. “He’s pretty tall for his age, and he
can put some food away.”
Mark is the chef who made the 50-pound bacon
cheeseburger on his Weber grill for Alli Calder’s Sweet
16 Birthday Party in Gearhart in 2011. That meaty monster
was capped with 3 pounds of bacon, 5 pounds of cheese, 3
pounds of onions, 12 tomatoes and Thousand Islands dress-
ing (burp).
Later, the chef also made an 89-pounder, but had a hard
time getting it off the grill. “Forty-nine guys ended up eating
it,” he recalled. “I like to do things that are extraordinary.”
By the way, Guinness World Records says the largest
hamburger weighed 2,014 pounds, and was prepared Sept.
2, 2012, at the Black Bear Casino Resort in Carlton, Minn.
(http://tinyurl.com/tonburger). Don’t know if that includes
the 327 pounds of toppings. Break out the Pepto Bismol.
Back to the cookie. So why did Mark do it, really? “You
always try to inspire kids when they are young,” he told
the Ear, “and let them know that you can do extraordinary
things if you set your mind to it.” Mission accomplished,
quite tastily.
Y
IT AIN’T SO
QUOTABLE
aurie Caplan told the Ear that local Astorian,
Larry Taylor (pictured), chairman of the Clat-
sop County Democrats and active in the Democratic
Party of Oregon, was quoted in none other than the
venerable New York Times in a Sunday, Jan. 17,
article, “Clinton Campaign Underestimated Sand-
ers Strengths, Allies Say” (http://tinyurl.com/nytlt).
Here’s the quote:
“‘Hillary struggles to convey sincere passion with issues that
matter to the general public, unlike Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth
Warren,’ the Democratic senator from Massachusetts, said Law-
rence Taylor, a superdelegate from Oregon. She does so best in
the televised debates, said Mr. Taylor, who believes those forums
have made her ‘stronger’ and helped her come across as more trust-
worthy.”
Congrats, Mr. Taylor. Not too many can say they’ve been quoted
in The New York Times.
L
EUREKA!
ictured, a photo of a playground sign observed in an U.S.
Coast Guard housing complex, sent in by Nate Martin.
In case you can’t read it, it says: “Welcome. This playground
equipment is intended for children 2-5 years of age. Adult su-
pervision is required. Please observe playground rules.”
“Astoria: A great place to raise your kids,” Nate quipped.
“Or to teach them to lift themselves up.”
P
HOT FOX
elieve it or not, a fox was spotted roaming around for seven or
eight minutes in the Fukushima nuclear power plant’s highly
radioactive No. 2 reactor containment vessel in Japan. His visit was
captured by a camera on site, according to a report in The Mainich, a
Japanese daily newspaper (http://tinyurl.com/nukehotfox), then seen
by a plant operator from Tokyo Electric Power Co., which provided
the photo.
Power company staff don’t have any idea how the fox got in
there, as there was no sign of him on any of the walking or driving
routes into the facility. Even so, and despite being zapped with high
doses of radiation, the animal, who appeared to be about 4 feet long,
“did not show any signs of weakness” on the video.
Alas, three-headed fox sightings won’t come as a surprise.
B
n alarming story from Superstation95.com has been
making the rounds on Facebook lately, “US West Coast
Earthquake Warning as Cascadia Subduction Zone Surges,”
which is chock-full of of¿cial authentic-looking charts and
graphs to make it sound even scarier (http://tinyurl.com/
whoashake).
“As of 0231:30 (Jan. 17), the initial water column height is
2,738.80 meters deep (8,985.56 feet),” the article says. “Two
minutes and 30 seconds later, that same water column height
had dropped to 2,738.66 meters deep (8,985.10 feet). Where
did the four inches of water disappear to?” They seem a little
confused, as they later mention that it’s four feet of water.
Regardless of whether they mean inches or feet, the article
makes the assumption the North America and Juan de Fuca
tectonic plates shifting caused the change in water column
height, and that the Paci¿c Northwest is in imminent danger
of experiencing “the big one.”
The wave graph Superstatio95 used to make its point is
real — it is from the website (http://tinyurl.com/b46404) of a
buoy 230 nautical miles west of Astoria, Station 46404. What
they fail to mention is that the graph looks almost the same
every day.
The article was soundly debunked as a hoax both by a
geologist on KGW (http://tinyurl.com/debunkKGW), and by
the National Weather Service, who tweeted “Tides naturally
change water column height at buoys up to several feet every
day.”
The long and short of it is this: Yes, the Cascadia Subduc-
tion Zone is a real threat. Did anything signi¿cant happen Jan.
17? No.
A
he Moose State has been giving up her secrets of late with an
exciting discovery: the location of the remains of a lost whaling
ÀHHW, found off Alaska’s arctic coast. The 33 ships were abandoned
in 1871 after becoming ice-locked, and the incident is depicted in a
Harpers Weekly 1871 illustration, courtesy of the Robert Schwem-
mer Maritime Library.
A National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration article
online (http://tinyurl.com/icedin33) says: “The ships were destroyed
in a matter of weeks, leaving more than 1,200 whalers stranded at
the top of the world until they could be rescued by seven ships of the
Àeet standing by about 80 miles to the south in open water off Icy
Cape. No one died in the incident but it is cited as one of the major
causes of the demise of commercial whaling in the United States.”
It probably didn’t help the business, either, that to make room for
the survivors, the rescuing ships had to jettison their valuable cargoes
of whale oil, bone and whaling gear.
NOAA has searched for the remains of the Àeet on other occa-
sions, and has already found gear salvaged by the local Inupiats, and
timber wreckage. But this time, Eureka!
“Using state-of-the-art sonar and sensing technology,” the article
says, “the NOAA team was able to plot the ‘magnetic signature’ of
the two wrecks, including the outline of their Àattened hulls. The
wreck site also revealed anchors, fasteners, ballast and brick-lined
pots used to render whale blubber into oil.”
Thanks to NOAA, an arctic maritime history mystery has ¿nally
been solved.
T
COMMUNITY NOTES
SATURDAY
Sit and Stitch Group — 11
a.m. to 1 p.m., Custom Threads,
1282 Commercial St. Knitting, cro-
cheting and needle work. For infor-
mation, call 503-325-7780.
Line Dancing — 5:30 to 8 p.m.,
Seaside American Legion, 1315
Broadway. For information, call
503-738-5111. No cost; suggested
$5 tip to the instructor.
MONDAY
Columbia Northwestern Mod-
el Railroading Club — 1 p.m., in
Hammond. Group runs trains on
HO-scale layout. For information,
call Don Carter at 503-325-0757.
SUNDAY
National Alliance on Mental
Illness (NAMI) Support Group
— 2 to 3:30 p.m., Seaside Public
Library, 1131 Broadway. Family to
Family Support Group, for anyone
with friend or loved one suffering
from a serious brain (mental) illness.
For information, contact Myra Kero
at 503-738-6165, or k7erowood@q.
com, or go to www.nami.org
Scandinavian Workshop —
10 a.m., First Lutheran Church, 725
33rd St. Needlework, hardanger,
knitting, crocheting, embroidery
and quilting. All are welcome. For
information, call 503-325-1364 or
503-325-7960.
Senior Lunch — 11:30 a.m.,
Bob Chisholm Senior Center, 1225
Avenue A, Seaside. Suggested do-
nation $3 for those older than 60;
$6.75 for those younger than 60.
For information, call Michelle Lew-
is at 503-861-4200.
Columbia Senior Diners —
11:30 a.m., Peace Lutheran Church
(lower level), 565 12th St. Cost is
$7. For information, or to have a
meal delivered, call 503-325-9693.
second highest scores split the
prize. Game is designed for play-
ers 55 and older, but all ages are
welcome.
Warrenton Senior Lunch Pro-
gram — noon, Warrenton Commu-
nity Center, 170 S.W. Third St. Sug-
gested donation of $5 for seniors
and $7 for those younger than 60.
For information, or to volunteer, call
503-861-3502 Monday or Thursday.
Diabetes Class — 1:30 to 2:30
p.m., Providence Seaside Hospital,
725 S. Wahanna Road, Seaside.
Free help managing diabetes. All
are welcome. For information, go
to www.providence.org/diabetes or
call 503-717-7301.
Astoria Rotary Club — noon,
second Àoor of the Astoria (lks
Lodge, 453 11th St. Guests always
welcome. For information, go to
www.AstoriaRotary.org
Line Dancing for Seniors — 6
to 7:30 p.m., Astoria Senior Center,
temporarily located at 1555 W. Ma-
rine Drive in the old Astoria Yacht
Club. For information, call 503-325-
3231.
Knochlers Pinochle Group —
1 p.m., Bob Chisholm Community
Center, 1225 Avenue A, Seaside.
Cost is $1 per regular session per
person. Players with highest and
Clatsop County Democrats —
6:30 to 9 p.m., Astoria Yacht Club,
300 Industry St., Suite 201 (at the
West (nd Mooring Basin, above
Tiki Charters). Renew Oregon
Ballot Initiative regarding coal and
agenda items and election of dele-
gates for state convention. For in-
formation, call 503-717-1614 or go
to http://clatsopdemocrats.org
TUESDAY
Stewardship Quilting Group
— 9:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m., First Lu-
theran Church, 725 33rd St. All are
welcome. Donations of material al-
ways appreciated. For information,
call Janet Kemp at 503-325-4268.
Do Nothing Club — 10 a.m.
to noon, 24002 U St., Ocean Park,
Wash. Men’s group. For informa-
tion, call Jack McBride at 360-665-
2721.
Senior Lunch — 11:30 a.m.,
Bob Chisholm Senior Center, 1225
Avenue A, Seaside. Suggested do-
nation of $3 for those older than 60;
$6.75 for those younger than 60.
For information, call Michelle Lew-
is at 503-861-4200.
Columbia Senior Diners —
11:30 a.m., Peace Lutheran Church
(lower level), 565 12th St. The cost
is $7. For information, or to have a
meal delivered, call 503-325-9693.
Astoria Lions Club — noon,
Astoria (lks Lodge, 453 11th St.
Prospective members welcome.
For information, contact Charlene
Larsen at 503-325-0590.
Warrenton Kiwanis Club —
noon, Doogers Seafood and Grill,
103 U.S. Highway 101, Warrenton.
For information, call Darlene War-
ren at 503-861-2672.
See NOTES, Page 2B