KARAOKE :
A FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING
O
ur family group wandered into Asto-
ria’s Portway Tavern after a lively
viewing of “Shanghaied in Astoria.”
We weren’t ready to call it a night,
and fried food and cold beer was in
order. Brushing the popcorn from
our hair, we ducked in out of the au-
tumn drizzle and beheld something
strange and wonderful: Karaoke night
was in full swing.
Curious, we found a table and took in the
show.
Front and center was an elderly gentleman
clad in denim and a large cowboy hat belting out
Johnny Cash’s “Ring Of Fire.”
And he was good. Really, really good. He
captured Cash’s baritone to a tee, and the patrons
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to his bar stool to slake his well-earned thirst.
Next came a diminutive college-age girl in a
pink T-shirt covered in sparkly hearts. A hush fell
over the room. Was this where Bieber or One Di-
rection would rear their ugly heads?
After paging through the song
booklet and punching in a few keys
on the karaoke machine, she broke
into a fantastic rendition of Dolly
Parton’s “Jolene.”
As if on cue, all the ladies in the
room belted out “Jolene, Jolene,
I’m begging you please don’t take
my man” in unison each time the
chorus came around.
Everyone clapped vigorously
as she curtsied and stepped down.
The elderly cowboy sent her a
drink.
There was a pause in the sing-
ing as everyone eyed the room for the next brave
soul.
My wife was looking at me with arched eye-
brows, and I could see the unspoken dare in her
gaze: Go on, you know you want to.
Caught up in the moment, I suddenly want-
ed nothing more than to serenade her with REO
‘It’s a fun
way to blow
off some
steam and
come out of
your shell
a little.’
Coastal Life
Story by DAN HAAG
4 | January 21, 2016 | coastweekend.com
Submitted photo
Karaoke From Hell is a regular gig at the San Dune Pub in Man-
zanita.
Submitted photo
Karaoke at Manzanita Lighthouse Pub & Grub comes complete with costume choices.
Speedwagon’s “Keep On Loving You” and may-
be get drinks sent to me by swooning admirers. It
certainly looked easy enough.
I asked our server what made karaoke so pop-
ular.
“It’s a fun way to blow off some steam and
come out of your shell a little,” she said. She
leaned in conspiratorially. “Not everyone should,
though.”
I gave that careful thought. Everyone has rock
star dreams of grandeur, whether it’s singing in
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be the responsible thing to do was recognize my
limitations and stick to murdering my favorite
songs in private.
I decided to stay on the spectator side of the
stage, but knew I couldn’t deny the urge for long.
Several nearby taverns feature karaoke reg-
ularly. In Astoria, the Portway runs karaoke
Wednesday through Saturday, and the Labor
Temple Diner & Bar starts the fun at 8 p.m. Fri-
day through Sunday. In Seaside, you can sing
your favorite tune from 9 p.m. to close Friday
and Sunday at the Twisted Fish Steakhouse.
In Manzanita, the San Dune Pub and Manza-
nita Lighthouse Pub & Grub also feature karaoke
regularly.
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from Portland called Karaoke From Hell, a live
band that accompanies karaoke enthusiasts. I
imagine it’s the closest you can get to feeling like
David Lee Roth or Joan Jett for the evening, mi-
nus the spandex and hair spray.
Manzanita Lighthouse offers a regular week-
ly gig hosted by a DJ. For added entertainment,
there’s even a selection of costumes on hand, like
feather boas, colorful wigs, and Elton John-style
glasses. I was told it’s called “Prop-aroke.”
Sold on the costumes, I chose the Lighthouse
and wandered in on a blustery evening before the
holidays, determined to conquer karaoke.
My chosen song was “I Wanna Be Sedated”
by The Ramones. The lyrics are easy and consist
of a lot of “ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba.”
Karaoke was already humming, and there
were plenty of rock star contenders.
A group of women was sharing the stage and
giggling their way through Carrie Underwood’s
“Before He Cheats.”
The crowd hooted and hollered as the ladies
returned to their light beers.
A young man took the stage, donned a novel-
ty wig, and launched enthusiastically into a pop
song I didn’t recognize.
I ordered a drink and waited for my courage
to crest. And waited. And waited.
Submitted image courtesy Karaoke From Hell
Karaoke From Hell offers you the chance to sing karaoke with
a live band.
Sadly, it never came.
Turns out, I’m a huge chicken, and there
probably isn’t enough beer in the world to
change that.
Despite that, I discovered that karaoke is
about fun, camaraderie and hearing some old fa-
vorites in a new way.
Luckily, there are plenty of people who are far
braver and much less tone-deaf than I am.
Spectator or performer, it’s fantastic entertain-
ment for rainy Oregon Coast evenings.