FEATURES
6A
Tomorrow’s horoscope
Mom needs to set boundaries
Dear Annie: Our oldest daugh-
ter is married to a nice man and
they have a sweet 2-year-old
daughter. My son-in-law makes
good money and my daughter can
afford to stay home, but they never
seem to have enough to get ahead.
My daughter has been known to
spend foolishly. They only have
one car and it doesn’t run half
the time. They can’t afford anoth-
er. We let them live in our home
for a year rent-free, so they could
save enough to purchase their ¿rst
house.
I know I’ve enabled my daugh-
ter for her entire life. She is very
spoiled and self-centered. We
argue a great deal and exchange
hurtful words. Regularly, I surren-
der to her sel¿shness and give her
money or run errands for her, even
though I work full-time. I do these
things because she is a recovering
alcoholic and drug addict, and I
fear she will otherwise return to
that life again. She doesn’t attend
her meetings anymore.
I don’t know how to handle her.
I’m either forced to defend myself
or give in to her whims. She nev-
er appreciates anything I do for
her and she never does anything
for me. Her husband is no better.
He is sel¿sh and spoiled by his
Annie’s
Mailbox
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
Kathy Mitchell
and
Marcy Sugar
mother, and he also enables my
daughter.
She’s a good mother, but
I babysit a lot. Her husband
doesn’t complain when she gets
together with her friends, but he
works long hours and they don’t
have much time together. I think
he feels neglected.
How do I know when to do
things for her and when not to?
How do I tell the difference be-
tween enabling and being a good
mother? When she gets into one
of her horrible, blaming moods,
how do I handle that? This child
has become a bitter pill to swal-
low, but I love her so much. —
Mother of a Narcissist
Dear Mom: You should back
away from some of this drama.
The hardest thing for a parent to
do is watch a child fail, but you
may need to step back and let it
happen. Your daughter cannot
learn to stand on her own two
feet if Mom is always holding
her up. Her marriage issues and
whether she attends meetings are
no longer your business. Don’t
give her money if she cannot
manage it responsibly. When she
blames you for not indulging her,
remain calm and say, “I’m sorry
you feel that way.” Walk away
if she cannot stop berating you.
Look into Al-Anon for yourself
(al-anon.org). A good mother
teaches her child to be indepen-
dent and self-reliant, even when
the process is painful to watch,
and helps her accept that the uni-
verse doesn’t owe her everything
she demands.
Dear Annie: This is in response
to “Not His Girlfriend,” the wom-
an whose husband objects to her
acting as tour guide to a visiting
male friend while the husband’s
at work. He obviously has a trust
issue.
I regularly entertain my male
friends of over 25 years at my
house for lunch and conversation.
My husband thinks this is ¿ne. My
children consider them uncles. Un-
less there are reasons for her hus-
band not to trust her, he needs to
chill out. — Plattsburgh, N.Y.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, DECEMBER 28, 2015
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Having trou-
ble letting go of old baggage? Don’t force it.
One of the best ways to rid yourself of the
heaviness is to seek new, lighter luggage.
Get out there and make a replacement
memory for the one you’d rather forget.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Tired people
and hungry people are often grumpy people.
Whatever you can do to make sure the ba-
sics are covered for you and yours will go a
long way toward keeping the vibes positive
at home.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Sooner or later,
we all have to part with our money. You may
as well have fun with this. So what if you’re
overly generous, silly or comfort-focused to-
day? Get what you really, really want.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). When the
work (or the entire relationship) seems
draining, maybe it’s just because you haven’t
found what’s in it for you yet. Figure it out. If
you can’t find a payoff, consider making a
change.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). In your brain,
you’re going head-to-head with someone
and you’re really in no mood to back down.
Hey -- you’re a human being with an ego to
match. To some extent, that’s healthy!
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Considering
all the time and energy you’ve expend-
ed working on a certain knotty problem, it
should come as no surprise when you get a
sudden craving for freedom and distraction.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). This is an ex-
cellent moment to discus the delicate issue
at hand, though you should keep in mind
that such discussions are best kept brief and
possibly indirect. A pointed implication may
get the message across.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Your rating
with one particular person doesn’t matter as
much as you think it does. There is a whole
host of people out there who like you, not to
mention the ones who love you dearly.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Avoid
making sweeping generalizations about
yourself. You’re made up of many parts. Fo-
cus on one aspect at a time. Highlight the
thing you like, and work on the thing you
don’t.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You’ll
have a deep conversation that doesn’t in-
clude any profound words or particularly in-
teresting thoughts. In fact, the whole thing, if
written down, would be categorized as small
talk. But it’s not. Not at all.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Don’t put
your self-care off for later, otherwise “later”
will never come. Also, taking care of yourself
should include more than the basics. Giving
yourself mental stimulation and fun is part of
it.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). When you hit
a dip in your mood, remember: Appreciating
others is the quick route to self-esteem. You
will always feel good about your kind and fair
treatment of the people you meet on your
path.
TUESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Dec. 29). You’ll
make your mark this year and it will be a
creative expression of who you are in a
most practical form. Many will use and
love what you produce. Clarity of vision is
your gift in the early year. April and May
bring romantic adventure. You’ll fight for the
oppressed and win in June. Aquarius and
Cancer adore you. Your lucky numbers are:
13, 28, 3, 38 and 40.