FEATURES
6A
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, OCTOBER 16, 2015
Son won’t visit elderly mom
Tomorrow’s horoscope
Dear Annie: My wife and I are
nearly 90 years old. Five months
ago, she had a stroke and has
since been residing in a nursing
home. We both come from small
families. Everyone has visited my
wife except for our oldest son.
I called my older son and
asked when he was going to see
his mother. His response was a
tirade, saying, “Who are you to
tell me when to visit?” and “You
never listen to whatever I tell
you,” along with, “The others live
closer and it takes me six hours
to drive there.” I told him that I
have a lot of things on my mind
and cannot listen to his outburst,
and then I hung up.
There is public transportation
from his city to his mother’s loca-
tion. We’ve never had a conflict
prior to this outburst. Until now,
he had been visiting three or four
times a year. As a result of our age
and health, we have not visited
his home for the past few years.
Our younger son is very sup-
portive in helping us and visits
frequently. However, he is reluc-
tant to get involved in an alterca-
tion between his brother and us.
How do we get our son to realize
what he is doing to his parents?
— Frustrated
ARIES (March 21-April 19). This is
when you’re the best worker: when the
work provides challenge, adventure and
the opportunity to meet new people and
see new lands. When it doesn’t provide
those things, you get restless.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). There’s
no shame in desiring more than you can
accomplish. Striving leads to attaining,
or it leads to frustration. When the latter
happens, just know that you’re better off
than if you never reached.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Someone
you know will be the subject of gossip.
Whether or not there’s any truth to the
charges, you can make this situation
better with your compassion and crying
shoulder.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). You are
self-directed, independent and in the
mood to do it your own way. Crashing
up against your limits is unpleasant but
necessary for growth.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). When you
share joy with someone who totally gets
you, that joy doubles. Don’t feel bad if
that person is hard to find. There are so
many who are unreasonably threatened
by the happiness of others.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Someone
you love is in a gloomy place. The sit-
uation is not desperate, but it could go
that way if left untreated. Your love and
attention will go a long way.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You can no
longer afford to hold on to the grievance.
Too much is at stake. Let it go. What
you’ll gain in return is worth so much
more: freedom, love, momentum.
Annie’s
Mailbox
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
Kathy Mitchell
and
Marcy Sugar
Dear Frustrated: We don’t
know if there are some issues
between your son and your wife,
or whether your son simply can-
not deal with his mother being in
a nursing home. Either way, you
cannot force him to visit, even
though, obviously, he should. In-
stead, phone him and say, gently,
“I realize how difficult it is for
you to come to the nursing home.
Whenever you can make it, I
know your mother would love to
see you, and so would I.” That’s
it. No arguing or pressuring. The
rest is up to him.
Dear Annie: My boyfriend
has been divorced for 33 years.
Still, he and his ex-wife find ex-
cuses to continue to communi-
cate about their grown sons.
Recently, I got excited about
getting one son a gift for his 35th
birthday. My boyfriend said they
“don’t do gifts around here.” So
I gave it up. Then I found out
that he had gone in on a gift with
his ex and another son.
Why do you think he had to
lie to me about it? Should I take
it as a clue and move on? — On
the Outside Looking In
Dear Outside: First of all, it
is normal for divorced parents to
communicate about their grown
children until the end of time. It
is only a problem if one of the
ex-partners has designs on the
other or if they are overly in-
volved in one another’s lives.
Lying about a gift, howev-
er, is worrisome. Your boy-
friend may have lied because
he thought you’d be angry that
he made arrangements with his
ex, but that doesn’t excuse his
behavior. It only undermines
your trust, making you wonder
what other things he may be do-
ing with the ex, and whether he
wants to exclude you from his
family. These are the things you
need to talk to him about. If he
won’t discuss these issues, or
cannot give you satisfactory an-
swers, it’s time for counseling or
goodbye — whichever you think
will provide a sense of security
for you.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
STONE SOUP
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). The
sweetest treasures of your life involve
your connection with others. Therefore,
anything you do to strengthen those
bonds will go a long way.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21).
Keeping up appearances can be ex-
hausting, especially if you set the bar
too high. What about being a lovable
mess once in a while? Today is the per-
fect time to let your guard down.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). What
you imagine will bring you happiness
just might. This is your day to investi-
gate. Start by asking the others who
have it: “How happy are you? “
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Get
intentional and aggressive. This is no
day for a “que sera sera” attitude. “What
will be, will be” won’t do. “What will be” is
what you decide to make happen.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Small
talks have great benefits to our bodies,
minds and souls, as they express the
good will and acceptance we so need.
We take care of one another by paying
attention to what others have to say.
SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Oct. 17).
The next seven weeks will bring many
new faces. Relax and be yourself. Peo-
ple will invest their time and attention
first in who you are. After that, they’ll
invest in your project or whatever else
you’re selling. You’ll go above and be-
yond the call of duty for your family in
February. April and July are ideal va-
cation times. Virgo and Taurus people
adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 33,
25, 29, 3 and 17.