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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 10, 2015)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2015 FEATURES 5A Man books trip with ex-wife Tomorrow’s horoscope Dear Annie: My husband has decided to plan a trip to a major theme park. It was supposed to in- clude the two of us, plus his three adult children and their families. Here’s the problem: When I could not take the time off from work, his children invited their re- cently widowed mother. Although we have a civil relationship with her, I do not feel this is appropri- ate. Unfortunately, my husband doesn’t share my concerns and is planning to book the trip anyway. I considered giving him some sort of ultimatum, but I doubt it would change his mind. My main concerns are his ex’s ability to twist the truth and what others may think about the “arrangement.” Any advice? — Left Behind in Pennsylvania Dear Left Behind: Your hus- band should never have agreed to this without your OK. Instead, the appropriate thing to do would be to rearrange the trip for a date when you were available. Nonetheless, your only concern now should be whether he can be trusted to take a trip with his ex. If so, you can weather this. If you can take off a couple of days and join them for part of the trip, we recommend it. But please ARIES (March 21-April 19). Your neigh- borly attitude might lead you to learn more than you wanted to know. However awk- ward you may feel about the information, you will be better for having been armed with this knowledge. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Unreal ex- pectations will produce, at best, disappoint- ment — at worst, cruelty. There is absolutely no reason for you to expect yourself to au- tomatically know how to behave in every situation. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Take charge of the situation by making a proposal. It doesn’t matter whether this is rejected or ac- cepted. The point is that you’ll have changed the dynamic by asserting yourself. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You’ll be asked to repeatedly perform a specific func- tion. Sound nutrition and good hydration will help you to do more repetitions than you otherwise could have done. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Creating a vision is important. Communicating it is more im- portant. The clearer you get about your vi- sion the easier it will be to convey it. Explain it to yourself, and you’ll find where the holes are. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Is the new stuff really going to be better than the sta- tus quo? That’s the question of the day, and you’re going to want to see examples and hard data before you’ll be willing to make any kind of a change. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Some around you are driven by the fear of losing auton- omy and respect. It therefore will be more important than ever to give them their due. Your awareness of each gesture will im- Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar ignore the gossip. If others ques- tion the “arrangement,” simply laugh and say, “I wasn’t worried about that for a second.” Dear Annie: Your response to “No One To Share This With” was not strong enough. She said her husband was viewing porn. I know how she feels. I recently discovered that my 57-year-old husband, to whom I’ve been married for 34 years, was viewing Internet porn. It took me three months to get the full truth from him, because he was so ashamed. He started by looking at pictures of women in various stag- es of undress and it quickly esca- lated. We always had a loving rela- tionship, but during this time I noticed he was more distant and less affectionate. When I ques- tioned him, things would improve, but only temporarily. When I dis- covered his porn viewing, I was humiliated and hurt. He broke my trust. It is not OK to view porn. It LVLQ¿GHOLW\,WLVDGGLFWLYH,WLVGLV- respectful to your spouse. It sets up unrealistic expectations. It’s self- ish. I am trim and attractive, but at age 54, I cannot compete with 20-year-olds. My husband regrets what he has done. He is sorry about how his ac- tions hurt me. He has taken full re- sponsibility, saying I did absolute- ly nothing to cause him to turn to porn. He voluntarily surrendered his computer and smartphone so I could set restrictions keeping him from accessing those websites. We immediately started coun- seling individually and as a cou- ple, and I am working on forgiving him. Porn viewing should not be tolerated and should be addressed immediately. — Rebuilding Our Relationship in LA. Dear L.A.: Spouses have dif- ferent tolerance levels for porn. The problem these days is that porn is not only easily accessed on one’s computer or phone, but that it is also interactive. It interferes with one’s relationships in real time. We’re glad you and your hus- band are seriously working on this. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH STONE SOUP B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. prove the relationship. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Don’t ex- pect it to be easy. Your idea could cause a multitude of reactions. Your response will be akin to taking a pulse. You’ll find out what the current level of support is, and you’ll go from there. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). In the deepest parts of your insides, you want more recognition than you’re getting. A title would give you the validation and respect from the outside world that you seek. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Think proactively. Take initiative. Waiting for prob- lems and then solving them is not the way. What might you do to make it better before a problem arises? AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Are the opportunities more complicated than you’d like? Your communication skills are on fire these days, and so the answer is quite sim- ple: State the conditions under which you could say yes. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Even if a person has been a part of your life for many years, you can always discover some fresh brilliance in that person. Today will prove the point. FRIDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Sept. 11). The signs the universe will give you are flashing, neon, sparkling and generally doing ev- erything possible to capture your attention. As far as your destiny goes, this is a “can’t miss” year. This month will bring the first in a series of small victories that add up to a November prize. December and May will be the most romantic. Scorpio and Leo people adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 5, 11, 29, 31 and 16.