Loose Kaboose
L
The special three-piece
Cod Fish and Chips came
with four pieces of fried
cod, thick French fi res
and creamy coleslaw.
An American diner as familiar as the back of your hand
Let’s be honest: The Loose Kaboose drew
me because it’s funky.
The greasy spoon diner, which wishes it
were housed in an actual train car rather than a
double-wide trailer, is on the south end of Long
Beach. The sign boasts a little of everything:
¿VKDQGFKLSVR\VWHUVEXUJHUVFKRZGHUVWHDN
DQGSL]]D,¿JXUHGLWZDVDWOHDVWZRUWKDORRN
It was, as I hoped and suspected, kitschy and
perhaps of another time — one much belying a
mid-90s opening. (The restaurant has changed
owners since, I’m told). Just the same, The
Loose Kaboose would’ve been similarly — or
more earnestly — at home overlooking a bowl-
ing alley in 1985.
Trot up the few stairs through the front door,
DQG¿QG\RXUVHOILQWKHNLWFKHQ7RWKHOHIWLV
the darkly carpeted dining room. It’s curated
roughly; most every inch of surface is coated
in something or another. The tables feature cut-
out Xeroxes of old newspapers and tabloids,
detailing railroad and oce-
anic lore. Dollar bills are
stapled all over the walls
and ceilings. Most have
been drawn on. Some of
the currencies are foreign.
(Eventually, the sign says,
the money moves on to
support the local Boys
and Girls Club.) A mod-
el train track rings the
ceiling, appearing as if it
hasn’t moved in years. It
is matched with a myriad
of rail memorabilia, from
old signage to train tapestries, paintings, pho-
tos, drapes and wallpaper. There are, too, odd
jokes, like the laminated poster of “Hobo Signs
and Symbols” and the mock “Model Railroad
'LVHDVH´À\HU,WZDVGXVW\ZHLUGDQGPRUHHQ
gaging than sterility. (Also: not for fainthearted
neat freaks.)
Though he dressed the part of neither,
my sever doubled as cook. I appreciated his
brusque, no-nonsense, devil-may-care attitude.
There was loads on the menu. Probably too
much. The server/cook took my order and then
returned to the kitchen. The deep fryer and the
grill began to sizzle.
First I had the special: three-piece Cod Fish
and Chips ($9.95). Rather than three I received
four reasonably sized, golden nuggets of fried
cod. The beer-battered crust was thick and
FULVS IXOO\ VHDOLQJ WKH ZKLWH¿VK LQVLGH 7KH
cod itself simply was — not impressively fresh,
QRU¿VK\$GHTXDWH$QGKHUHEHJLQVZKDWLV
At the Loose
Kaboose you’re
unlikely to
taste or try
anything you
haven’t before.
14 | August 6, 2015 | coastweekend.com
essentially the story of all the Loose Kaboose’s
ingredients in a nutshell: OK.) The French fries
were thick and attentively cooked. The cole-
slaw was creamy and mayo-heavy, slightly
sweet with a dash of pepper. Together the plate
of food was substantial.
The one-third-pound Burger ($6.95) was
recommended, and I enjoyed it even though it
retained — and then dispensed — all together
too much liquid. One bite caused a rain of light
grease to cascade onto the plate. Still, the pre-
formed frozen patty was thick, cooked through,
and served on a fresh, thick and soft bun with
ample roughage. There was everything you
might expect: lettuce, tomatoes, onions, pick-
les, cheese and mayo. Like the fries, the ac-
companying onion rings were well cooked — a
crunchy outer seal and a soft, juicy, oily inner.
A small pizza (9 inches, $8.99 with three
toppings) was doughy and no more than
the sum of its parts. The marinara sauce was
sweet and bland. I appreciated the two layers
of cheese — one over the sauce with another
sprinkling atop the ingredients. And while little
had stood head and shoulders above the rest of
the menu at the Loose Kaboose, there are much
The Clubhouse ($8.95)
was a take on the tradi-
tional club that added
ham.
better places to eat pizza. As the sign says: It’s a
“diner,” and you’re best off staying in that lane.
To that end I tried some of the sandwich-
es. The Clubhouse ($8.95) was a take on the
traditional club that added ham. Particular-
ly assembled on three pieces of white bread
with slices of American and Swiss cheese in
between the turkey and ham, the top half was
like a BLT with ham, turkey and cheeses down
below. The bacon was freshly cooked and the
helping of sliced ham was generous but the
Clubhouse was again no more than the sum
of its parts.
The Rainbow Rueben ($8.95), however,
achieved some distinction. While not stag-
gering, it came together better than anything
mouth
OF THE COLUMBIA
COAST WEEKEND’S LOCAL RESTAURANT REVIEW
Story and photos by THE MOUTH OF THE COLUMBIA • mouth@coastweekend.com
Loose Kaboose
Rating:
4514 Pacifi c Way, Long Beach, WA
360-642-2894
HOURS: Noon to 8 p.m. Monday to Wednesday, and 7
a.m. to 8p.m. Thursday to Sunday.
PRICE: $ – Entrées in the neighborhood of $10
SERVICE: Unpretentious and mild. Dine-in, take-out
and limited delivery.
VEGETARIAN / VEGAN OPTIONS: Not recommended.
DRINKS: Soda, coff ee, tea, milk and juice.
else I tried at the Kaboose. Between ideally,
ever-so-slightly toasted rye bread were swirls
of gooey, melted cheese, acidic sauerkraut and
salty beef. And although there wasn’t much
SDVWUDPL²WZRWKLFNÀDWVOLFHV²WKHWDVWHV
approached a rousing balance.
For the most part, though, the offerings at
the Loose Kaboose were more bluntly satiat-
ing than surprising. Imagine a no-frills, greasy
spoon American diner with plain recipes and
ingredients — and you’re there. At the Loose
Kaboose you’re unlikely to taste or try anything
you haven’t before. It’s like the back of your
hand. But the value is square and the portions
unimpeachable.
The Loose Kaboose is more than just unpre-
tentious; it doesn’t even know the meaning of
the word. Like its namesake, the diner is hardly
leading the way. It has no desire to. Instead, it
ambles along contently, at the end of the line,
even if at times appearing a little goofy. In that
dining car is a world where a leaf of lettuce still
TXDOL¿HV DV JDUQLVK %XW GRQ¶W WDNH WKDW DV D
dig. The Loose Kaboose is an oft-forgotten but
oddly familiar character. One who, despite its
lagging, still has a place.
KEY TO RATINGS
poor
below average
good & worth returning
excellent
outstanding, the best in the
Columbia-Pacific region
