The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current, July 16, 2015, Image 5

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Should woman expose brother-in-law? Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
Dear Annie: My husband and I
have been together for 12 years. We
have three children. His mother is
still living, and he has one younger
My issue is with this brother,
“James.” A few years ago, James
cheated on his then-girlfriend,
“Sheila,” with whom he has a
daughter. Sheila also has a son
from a previous relationship that
James never cared for. In the midst
of their troubles, she would call my
husband and me and vent about the
way James treated her and her son,
saying he was emotionally abu-
sive. Sheila once showed me one
of James’ text messages referring to
me as his brother’s “scumbag wife”
and other nasty things, all because I
spoke to Sheila when she was hurt-
Sheila took her son to a counsel-
or who told her to pack up and re-
move herself and the kids from the
home because of James’ behavior.
Eventually, she sent her son to live
with his father. Then she and James
got married.
During the few holiday gather-
ings I have with my husband’s fam-
ily, I tolerate James, but otherwise,
I have no interaction with him or his
wife. I wasn’t invited to their wed-
ding, although my husband attend-
Syndicate Inc.
Kathy Mitchell
Marcy Sugar
ed. I only recently revealed to him
what James wrote about me in that
text. I could see it upset him, but all
he said was, “I didn’t realize.”
Lately, my mother-in-law has
been making comments about how
she doesn’t understand why “peo-
ple” don’t talk to each other. I’m
sure she’s referring to me. I know
James is a master manipulator and
has probably told her all kinds of
untrue things about me. I haven’t
wanted to upset her by giving her
the lowdown on James, but should
I? — Hurt and Fed up
Dear Hurt: Please don’t. It
wouldn’t help your relationship
and might push James to go after
you with more venom. Your hus-
band knows the truth, and that’s the
most important thing. Make sure he
is supportive of you if James or his
mother says anything unkind. Be-
yond that, you are handling this as
well as can be expected.
Dear Annie: It was with great
interest I read the letter from “Dev-
astated in Ohio,” the kind writer
who is grieving the loss of a friend
who tripped and fell while recuper-
ating from brain tumor surgery at a
cabin retreat.
I had a brain tumor and can
tell “Ohio” not to feel guilty. Bal-
ance and tripping issues continue
to plague me even six years after
my surgery. “Ohio” was so kind to
bring the man somewhere to recu-
perate, and falling down and hit-
ting his head could have happened
anywhere at any time. That cabin
retreat was probably just what the
guy needed, and his death was no
one’s fault.
I was so moved to read how
heartbroken this friend is, but I
wanted to say that there are support
groups all over where people listen
to stories like this all the time. It
helps relinquish any guilt. — J.
Dear J.: Thank you for your
kind words. We received dozens
of letters expressing sympathy and
understanding. Several readers also
pointed out that hospice offers grief
counseling whether or not the pa-
tient was in hospice. We appreciate
all of the expressions of concern
and know that “Ohio” will, too.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). The part of
your life that is ailing will be healed by a
routine, methodical approach. Take it slow
and steady and commit to doing it daily
over a long period of time — at least a
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). As St. Fran-
cis of Assisi suggested, baby steps will
lead to greatness. “Start by doing what’s
necessary; then do what’s possible; and
suddenly you are doing the impossible.”
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). What if you
could listen so hard to another person that
you could express that person better than
he or she could? Those who listen well are
liked. Those who listen masterfully are re-
CANCER (June 22-July 22). There are
times when distraction can be a great help.
People who are experiencing something
painful or frightening will glide through
more easily with the help of a distraction.
You’ll mercifully provide such a distraction
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Psychic clearing
is real. It can be felt, and it can make for
an easier, lighter, healthier experience. To-
day’s best method for psychic clearing is
simply to get what’s in your heart out in the
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Rinse and
repeat isn’t just for shampoo. Excellence
may come in the form of a glorious action,
but it is actually the result of habits. Practice
daily. Don’t wait for the inspiration; just go.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Maybe you
can have it all, but you can’t have it all at
once. The key to feeling like you’ve had a
successful day is in picking one thing to
work on and working on it until it’s finished.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Even the
most capable people require assistance
sometimes. The more responsibilities a
person has the more help he or she needs.
You may be the only one who notices this,
so don’t hesitate to lend a hand.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). The
philosopher Nietzsche suggested that we
are all in a flight from ourselves. Though
this may be true, today’s journey will bring
you round trip.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). The
thing you felt entrapped by will magically
disappear. Sweet freedom! Keep running
and don’t look back. If you create enough
momentum, this newfound independence
will stick.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’ll
probably have to make your own fun,
but the extra effort will prove worthwhile.
Your ebullient personality will attract new
friends, interesting offers and perhaps a
romantic hopeful.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Set aside
your pride. Giving yourself a wide margin
for error (especially in regard to bank ac-
counts, projects and deadlines) will make
life better and work enjoyable.
FRIDAY’S BIRTHDAY (July 17). You’ve
been a fan for a long time. With great pur-
pose, you enter this solar year ready to be
the star. The next 10 weeks are financially
lucky once you lay down some rules. Sep-
tember is your chance to change a piece
of history. The ones you’ve taught will
make you proud in December. Sagittarius
and Aquarius people adore you. Your lucky
numbers are: 50, 3, 22, 14 and 16.