FEATURES
6A
Should man apologize now?
Dear Annie: Thirty years ago,
when I was 11, I got into an argu-
ment on the school bus with anoth-
er kid my age. I was an insecure
child, and I was losing the argu-
ment and feeling humiliated. In a
move to try to regain some power,
I called the other kid, who is black,
a racial epithet. I immediately felt
sick at what I had done, and it is
the only time, before or since, that
I ever did anything like that.
I have thought about that mo-
ment hundreds of times over the
years and consider it one of my
lowest, most shameful decisions.
Thinking about it has made me
aware of inherent racial biases that
I was raised with, and I have ac-
tively tried to address these.
Recently, through a mutual
friend, I became aware that the
victim of my words is reachable
through social media. My question
is: Should I apologize? My apol-
ogy would be sincere, but would
also perhaps be self-serving, as
it may only dredge up a terrible
memory for him. I so wish I could
erase that awful moment, but I am
prepared to accept that I just have
to live with this disgusting thing.
What do you advise? — Trying My
Best
Dear Trying: Apologize. May-
Annie’s
Mailbox
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
Kathy Mitchell
and
Marcy Sugar
be it is a bit self-serving, but many
apologies are — they make us
feel better that we tried to make
amends. If this dredges up a terri-
ble memory for him, you can rest
assured that he hasn’t forgotten the
incident, either. An apology could
help him close that door. A private
message, rather than a public post,
would be best. Don’t belabor the is-
sue. Simply say you are sorry, that
it has bothered you for 30 years (he
may be glad to hear that), and that
you want him to know you sincere-
ly regret it. Any communication af-
ter that should be up to him.
Dear Annie: I’d like to say
something about people who dis-
regard their family members who
require care.
My mother had a heart valve re-
placed when she was 97. Eighteen
months later, she had a stroke and
has been in a nursing home since.
By the time she uses up all of her
savings and is eligible for govern-
ment assistance, she will have ex-
pended close to $300,000. My fam-
ily realizes that this is my mother’s
money until she dies. We have
picked up the remaining costs, in-
cluding supplemental health insur-
ance, hearing aids, clothing, etc.
My mother just turned 100.
She can walk with a walker and
one person assisting. But I am at
the nursing home 12 hours a day
to provide the therapy that Medi-
care doesn’t. The staff here is kind
and caring, but they have a limited
amount of time, so I help out any
way I can. I have seen residents
who have no one to visit or keep
their interest piqued. They tend to
die sooner than patients who have
visitors. I hope those uncaring peo-
ple get the same treatment when
they are old. — Pat
Dear Pat: There is no question
that regular visits, especially those
that encourage conversation and
exercise, are beneficial for resi-
dents of nursing homes and any se-
niors who live alone. We also know
that doing so regularly requires
commitment and dedication, and
not everyone cares enough to put
forth the effort. Your family sounds
wonderful. Bless you.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
STONE SOUP
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, MAY 29, 2015
Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). You know
there’s a problem to be solved, but for some
reason, you are in the mood to treat it as an
advantage, not a problem. From this mind-
set, you’ll come up with many solutions,
some humorous, some workable.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Grand
buildings and bridges and mountains and
oceans give the illusion of permanence, but
the sobering truth is that all things are imper-
manent. That’s why you’ll celebrate tonight.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). As much as
you enjoy the kinship of others, you do not
wish to trade nebulous group-think for fo-
cused independent thought. Without arguing
a point, you’ll nonetheless quietly disagree.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Though
the care your crew needs most right now
is emotional in nature, you can deliver it in
material ways. For instance, cooking is a fine
way to show you love someone.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You may feel like
you took a wrong turn and are now heading
down the interstate in the direction opposite
of the way you wanted to go, no exit in sight.
Stay calm and know that this way leads
somewhere good, too.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). It’s like the
physical laws of inertia have been altered
just to favor you, and now any small gesture
will propel you forward. As long as you don’t
dig in your heels, you’ll shoot ahead.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Decisions
about love, family and even nutrition will all
impact your finances. Research and review
your other responsibilities before you take
out your wallet. And don’t buy what you could
possibly borrow.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Most peo-
ple are talking too much under these chatty
astral influences, but you have a success
secret. To be understood, be brief. You’re
mighty convincing with a few well-chosen
words.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Getting
too enmeshed in one culture makes people
wary or even prejudiced against other cul-
tures. This is one reason you welcome and
celebrate diversity. Another reason is that
you’re a curious person.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). To
encourage you further along yesterday’s
theme: Have confidence. Don’t entertain
doubt — it casts insidious shadows that
make a dark mess out of what would other-
wise be an idyllic picture.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’ve
been fed a story that’s obviously not true.
Don’t let the fact that so many people believe
it make you complacent about checking the
facts. You don’t have to take them all on in
order to make your own decision.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). It doesn’t
matter whether or not you can paint or write
poetry or play the piano. If you can find great-
ness in the inconspicuous and overlooked
details, you truly are an artist.
SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAY (May 30).
You’re the one with the big ideas — and
the small ideas, the good ones and some
of the bad ones, too. The point is that this
year you’re overflowing with inspiration.
Next month, you’ll change how a business
or household is run. Love enhances your
leisure and inspires your work in July. Com-
mitments are shared in September. Virgo
and Pisces people adore you. Your lucky
numbers are: 19, 4, 34, 1 and 28.