OPINION
4A
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, MARCH 6, 2015
Life and death on their own terms
By KIT KETCHAM
For The Daily Astorian
‘I
’ll be with you … if you want me to
be,” I said to the frail gentleman on my
couch, sitting propped up by his son and his
brother.
Almost immediately, I regretted my
words. Did I really mean what I said?
These three men had come to me that
morning to ask how my congregation would
react if they knew that “Jim” (not his real
name) was preparing
to cause his own death,
under Washington’s
“Death with Dignity”
law.
I had voted in favor
of the law myself
and supported the
Compassion
and
Kit
Choices organization
Ketcham
(formerly
The
Hemlock Society) with donations and
advocacy. I felt strongly that adults who
were in the last stages of a terminal illness
and were capable of making the decision
rationally should be permitted to end their
own lives on their own terms.
I knew that it was a several-month
process, reTuiring certi¿cations from
doctors acquainted with the patient and
a pharmacy licensed to ¿ll the to[ic
prescription. Jim had ful¿lled all the
requirements, but he was still invested in
life, wanting to belong to a faith community
where he could socialize, giving and
receiving friendship during the last months
of his life. He’d visited other congregations
and talked to other ministers, but he’d
heard that the Unitarian Universalists were
friendly and open to assisted suicide under
the law. Was this true, he asked.
“Yes, it is true that we are open to this
option for the dying,” I told him. And then
I added, “I’ll be with you when the time
comes, if you want me to be.” He nodded
and his son and brother seemed to sigh with
relief.
J
im was in the last stages of esophageal
cancer. He could hardly speak,
swallowing was dif¿cult, and he took most
of his nourishment in liquid form. But he
was passionate about many social causes,
including the environment and civil rights.
He was independent, living alone, but
he was lonely. His brother and son lived
hundreds of miles away and his only
nearby relative was his daughter, whose
household was already full of kids and
pets. Jim felt overwhelmed by the activity
there.
He had talked with his family members
about his desire to end his own life when
the time came, and they were supportive,
though it was a hard agreement to make.
As it turned out, Jim died quietly in a
File photo courtesy of the Corvallis Advocate
Protesters in favor of assisted suicide converge on the Oregon State Capitol.
felt profoundly honored to be part of this
conscious, peaceful end time.
On “D Day,” we gathered at his home as
¿ve invited guests. I had a white rose and
some of the water we use when blessing
hospital bed, slipping away without needing children in our dedication ceremony. I
to swallow a to[ic potion. While he had invited those present to tell this beloved
been part of our church community, he’d man what he had meant to them. And I
enjoyed friendships with several members invited him to say to us whatever he wanted
who lived near him, going out with them for to say. There were many tears, hugs, words
milkshakes, coming to church services, and of love and gratitude.
attending musical events in our sanctuary.
When all had spoken, I dipped the rose
Several of us were with Jim in
into the blessing water and
his last hours, some right there
touched his head, his lips, his
I diSSed the
holding his hand as he slipped
heart and his hands, one at a
rose
into
the
away. Jim had his wish — the
time.
comfort of friendship and a blessing Zater
“Thank you for your great
pain-free death.
of mind,” I said as I
and touched his strength
touched his head. “Thank you
year later, another person head, his liSs,
for your ability to speak truth
in our congregation told his heart and his in love,” as I touched his lips;
me of his desire to end his life
“Thank you for your loving
on his own terms. And this hands, one at a heart” and “Thank you for
time, when I said “I’ll be with time.
your helping hands,” touching
you if you want me to be,”
him with the rose and water on
I had no qualms. This man
his heart and his hands.
had suffered from chronic illness much of
“Are you ready?” I asked. He nodded.
his life and recently had been told nothing We helped him sit on the edge of the bed. He
else could be done. He discontinued his knew that he had to drink the potion down
medications and undertook the process to all at once and that he would quickly feel
end his life according to the Death with sleepy. He had already taken an anti-nausea
Dignity Act.
medication to help quell the urge to vomit. At
I knew when this man intended to end that time, we would help him lie down and
his life. I knew who else would be present. within a few minutes he would be gone.
I knew that his friends and family members
The potion had been prepared in advance
were all invited to come say goodbye and ¿lled a small glass to the brim. He
the day before what he called “D Day.” drank it down steadily as we waited, aware
I knew what the procedure would be. I that this was his last conscious act. When he
W riter’s
N otebook
A
got sleepy, we helped him lie down, spread
a blanket over him, and let him go.
We sat quietly as his breathing slowed
and his heart beat its last. His wife held his
hand and kissed him. Together, we joined
hands and said our last goodbyes to this dear
man. After his heart stopped and we knew
he was physically gone from us, a deep sigh
seemed to sweep the room. Our dear one
had left us in life but had given us a great
gift — the knowledge that he was no longer
sick, no longer in pain, no longer trapped in
his failing body. And he had slipped away
according to his own wishes.
A
s a minister, I have been present
with many dying men and women.
Assistance in dying is not the answer for
many people, but it is a good answer for
those who have the capacity to decide
rationally and who have the specter of
a painful and lingering death ahead.
There have been several high-pro¿le
stories in the news since the enactment
of the Death with Dignity Act in states
around the nation, stories of courage
and compassion. The not-for-pro¿t
organization Compassion and Choices
has been an invaluable resource to me as
a pastor and to those who have made the
decision to end their lives on their own
terms. For more information, see www.
compassionandchoices.org
The ReY .it .etFhaP serYes the 3aFi¿F 8ni-
tarian 8niYersalist FelloZshiS in Astoria She
retired to the North Coast in August 2012 and
is Pinister ePerita oI the 8nitarian 8niYersalist
Congregation of Whidbey Island, Wash.
You think your winter was rough?
By NICHOLAS KRISTOF
NeZ YorN Times NeZs SerYice
I
n October, two young
Americans set off on the most
daring and foolhardy wilderness
e[pedition since, oh, maybe Lewis
and Clark.
They were trying to become the
¿rst people ever to backpack from
Canada to 0e[ico on the 3aci¿c
Crest Trail in the dead of winter.
Once before, in 1983, two people set
out to traverse the trail in winter. They
never made it. Their bodies were found
a month after they fell off an icy cliff.
A winter thru-hike of the 3aci¿c
Crest Trail seemed impossible. The trail
is covered by many feet of snow that
time of year, and, even if the two e[-
plorers managed to ¿nd their way, they
risked triggering avalanches, plunging
through ice into rivers, or simply run-
ning out of food while trapped in bliz-
zards.
“3eople said it was a death sen-
tence,” Shawn Forry, one of the hikers,
told me.
He had estimated half-jokingly at
the start that they had a 17
East Africa when lions were would not both get buried in the same
percent chance of succeed-
stalking him.
avalanche.
ing.
Both Forry and Lichter
Even drinking water was a chal-
But he spoke to me short-
had hiked the entire 3aci¿c lenge.
ly after he and Justin Lichter
Crest Trail in summer —
“You’re surrounded by frozen wa-
reached the 0e[ican border
itself an ultimate test of en- ter, but you don’t have easy access to it
Sunday, completing their
durance (fewer people have to drink,” Forry said.
2,650-mile odyssey — and
thru-hiked the full trail than
They used a stove to melt snow for
surviving frostbite, bliz-
have climbed Mount Ever- drinking water.
zards, tumbles into frozen
est). But they wanted to see
The worst period, they said, came
rivers and 1,750 consecutive
it in another season.
in the Oregon mountains when a huge
Nicholas
trail miles without encoun-
“With the snow, there’s snowfall and below-zero temperatures
Kristof
tering a single other hiker.
so much natural beauty,” left them with frostbitten feet. They
3erhaps it feels a little self-indulgent Lichter said. “It’s so peaceful. And the were able to warm up and avoid perma-
to celebrate two guys who took a long frozen rivers have these strange ice for- nent damage, yet they still had another
walk. But what a walk! Like the 4-min- mations.”
2,000 miles to go.
ute mile or the free climb of the Dawn
They used snowshoes
“At times, you’re pulling
Wall at Yosemite, this is something that and, in California, skis,
your knee up to your chest
seemed beyond human capacity — and while carrying loads of up Even
to take the ne[t step, to get it
then humans did it.
to 45 pounds, including food
the snow — and that’s
drinNing above
So let’s take a break from current (they resupplied every week
in snowshoes,” Forry said.
affairs and recriminations about human or so). Winter storms were Zater
Barney Mann, the chair-
venality to laud a triumph of human frequent. When it snowed at
man of the 3aci¿c Crest Trail
strength.
night, they would get up ev- Zas a
Association and unof¿cial
It helped that the two men were ery 30 minutes to push snow
historian of the trail, said that
enormously e[perienced. Forry is a wil- off their tarp to keep it from challenge. after the frostbite incident he
derness instructor for Outward Bound. collapsing on them. In white-
had doubted that Forry and
Lichter works on a ski patrol and said outs, they could barely see
Lichter would succeed.
he has hiked 35,000 miles, equivalent and stayed close to each other — e[cept
“It’s the unrelenting cold,” Mann
to nearly 1 1/2 times around Earth. when crossing avalanche zones, when said. “It’s the unrelenting snow. It’s the
He gave up one long backpack across they had to separate to ensure that they moment-by-moment challenge of navi-
T HE
D AILY A STORIAN
Founded in 1873
gation when everything is white.”
One dif¿cult day came in 1orth-
ern California when a storm dropped
10 inches of rain in 24 hours, winds
reached 70 mph and both men tumbled
into a swollen torrent of a river that left
them and their gear drenched and frigid.
Yet, in spite of all those challeng-
es, they still urge people to try winter
camping — carefully.
“I really encourage people to get
out in the winter,” Forry said. “You
have it to yourself, and it’s so peaceful.
But start with a day trip — that way if
anything goes wrong, you’re near your
car.”
I’m delighted to announce that
the winner of my annual win-a-trip
contest is Austin Meyer, a journalism
student at Stanford University. We’ll
probably travel to India and Bangla-
desh, although Congo is an alternate
possibility. The runners-up are Ash-
ley Bastock of John Carroll Univer-
sity, Taylor Graham of Ithaca College
and Sam Friedlander of University of
3ennsylvania. Thanks to the Center for
Global Development for helping me
pick Austin from a dazzling ¿eld of
450 applicants. Stay tuned for a great
reporting trip!
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