FEATURES
6A
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, JANUARY 27, 2015
Wife chases her friends away
Tomorrow’s horoscope
Dear Annie: My wife has a good
personality and makes friends easily. The
problem is, she does not keep them. If
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anger. If someone disagrees with her, she
verbally abuses them. She also gets in-
volved in everyone else’s personal affairs.
When these negative things happen,
the friends start backing off. Then my wife
complains that we have no friends and it’s
my fault because I’m not outgoing enough.
But I am friendly and participate in group
gatherings without getting involved in
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This has been going on for 30 years.
How can I make her see that she is the
one who is driving people away? —
Need Help Down South
Dear Need: Your wife is disinclined
to blame herself for these things. After
all, if she had the capacity for genuine
self-examination, she might not be alien-
ating her friends to begin with. You can
discuss this honestly, calmly telling your
wife that she seems quick to anger and
slow to forgive, and perhaps she could
learn a different approach, either on her
own or through counseling. But if you
are unwilling to risk that argument, say
neutrally, “Some folks are very sensitive,
and I try to be careful about what I say to
them and always try to forgive them for
things that annoy me. But it’s hard work.”
That may give her some ideas about how
to treat others, while not assessing blame.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Even
though the glamour of far-flung, fantasy
achievements may keep stars in your
eyes and a fire in your belly, it’s the small
and reasonable goals that will lead you to
actual improvements.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Why talk
seriously about life? The trifling matters
don’t deserve such a heavy tone, and the
important matters are unbearable unless
approached with the levity of humor.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Your way
with people will get you deals, invitations
and, perhaps best of all, the truth (if that’s
what you want to hear). It can be fun to
know the truth when you’re the only one
around who does.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Life is like
a musical today — people sing out when
they are filled with emotion. Well, maybe
they won’t exactly sing, sing, but they’ll
make more noise to let you know what’s
important to them.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). In many envi-
ronments, boldness is rewarded. Today’s
environment calls for restraint. Subtlety
will be noticed. Believing in the power of
small, thoughtful moves takes a kind of
inner boldness.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Plan your
next travel and your mind will fly before
the rest of you into the adventure. This will
lighten your mood, which is in danger of
getting bogged down with the sameness
of recent days.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Each person
brings out something slightly different in
you. That’s why getting out of your circle
of friends and loved ones is so crucial to
unteer job would be helpful. It’s that she
isn’t getting enough physical affection.
She even signs her letter, “Need To Be
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Creators
local food bank or library. Volunteering at
Syndicate Inc.
her local hospital, where she can hold ba-
bies, is a wonderful way for her to get the
Kathy Mitchell
physical affection she craves, and it is also
and
good for the babies. (Men can do it, too.)
Marcy Sugar
Dear Annie: “Been There, Done
That” lamented the trend to give kids
It’s your choice. You have to live with her. unusual names. These days, complicat-
Dear Annie: I was ashamed of your ed names can be an advantage if you
response to “Need To Be Held,” who are searching for someone on the Inter-
ZDVGLVVDWLV¿HGZLWKKHUKXVEDQG¶VDI- net. A person with a commonly spelled
fection. Telling her to get counseling, fo- ¿UVWQDPHFDQEHLPSRVVLEOHWR¿QG
cus on the grandchildren, get out more,
Fifty years ago, my kid sister an-
HWFZDV¿QHXQWLO,FDPHWR\RXUODVW nounced that she was going to marry
line: “Please consider doing volunteer someone with a simple last name. But
work with babies at your local hospital.” when she married years later, it was to
There are probably hundreds of vol- a man whose name was even harder to
unteer opportunities in her community. spell and pronounce than hers.
Just because she is a mother, you assume
When I taught elementary school in
holding a baby would make her happy? A the ’70s, the principal suggested that it
simple suggestion that she look into vol- might be easier for students to call me
unteering with an organization that match- something other than my last name, as
es her passions, whether that be at her local long as it started with “Mister.” On my
food bank, animal shelter, day care, library ¿UVWGD\,ZURWHP\QDPHRQWKHERDUG
or anywhere she wants, would have been and told the students what the principal
less ridiculous. — Ventura, Calif.
had said. They voted to call me “Mister
Dear Ventura: We appreciate your John.” I remember one open house when
weighing in, but in your effort to be gen- a parent addressed me by my last name.
der-neutral, you miss the writer’s main Their daughter immediately interrupted
point. The woman’s problem isn’t a need to say they were incorrect. I was “Mister
to be useful and busy, for which any vol- John.” — Hard To Spell Last Name
Annie’s
Mailbox
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
STONE SOUP
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
personal growth.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). If you
don’t pass failure on the way to success,
you’re not aiming for a significant enough
success. The game is only fun when
there’s a fair amount of risk involved.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You
appreciate the beauty of a good list, es-
pecially on a day like today when there
is so much you want to do in so many
different categories of life. List-making will
keep you organized.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). The
power is inside you. Keep affirming this
throughout the day because there will be
temptations to reach for sources of power
outside of yourself that you do not need.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Don’t
give in to the group mind. It’s not wrong,
so much as it’s inferior to the ideas you
can come up with if you sequester your-
self in a quiet place to think for a while.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). It’s tempt-
ing to ask for fewer problems, but you’ll be
better off with a “bring it on” attitude. More
problems mean more solutions; more
solutions mean more capabilities. You’re
destined for greatness.
WEDNESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Jan.
28). To invigorate your journey, the path
needs to veer in the next four weeks. Ask
for suggestions from people you admire
in February. One remarkable change you
make will color up the rest of your year.
A super-sweet individual will make life
dreamy in April. Invest in your family in
May. Taurus and Sagittarius adore you.
Your lucky numbers are: 4, 7, 50, 22 and
18.