The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current, January 26, 2015, Image 6

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Homeless sister needs help
Dear Annie: I have three siblings.
The youngest sister, “Jess,” has always
had problems. At 13, she started taking
drugs and running away from home.
she got out, my older sister offered to let
Jess live with her so she could get a job
and go to school.
Jess was OK for about 18 months.
Then she developed back problems and
was unable to work. After several dis-
agreements with my sister, she moved
out to live with her boyfriend, whom
she later married. It’s been downhill
from there.
A few nights before Thanksgiving,
Jess knocked on my door with her hus-
band and their dog. Apparently, they are
homeless. Neither of them can stick to
a job on a regular basis. I’m sure Jess
suffers from some type of mental ill-
ness, and now I think her husband does,
too. I told Jess she could stay for three
months and then would have to leave.
I hope she can get some assistance
to help her get back on her feet. Do you
have any guidance for me? — Lost and
Dear Lost: It is compassionate of
you to take in your sister and her family,
but she needs more help than you can
give her. The best thing you can do for
Jess is to look into local social services
that will help her and her husband with
mental health counseling, job training
Syndicate Inc.
Kathy Mitchell
Marcy Sugar
and housing. Please contact the Na-
tional Alliance on Mental Illness (nami.
org), the U.S. Dept. of Housing and Ur-
ban Development homeless assistance
( and the National
Coalition for the Homeless (national-
homeless. org).
Dear Annie: My 29-year-old
stepson refuses to give gifts to family
members at Christmas. A few years
ago, I asked him why, and he said he
doesn’t believe in the crass commer-
cialism at Christmas. Yet he and his
wife accept gifts from all of us on the
He also doesn’t send a card or phone
on his Dad’s birthday or mine. What do
we do? Do we respect his views on
commercialism and not give him gifts?
Do we ignore it and hope he comes
around? He and his wife earn plenty of
money and can afford it. But that’s be-
side the point. It is the effort and caring
that is lacking. — Wondering
Dear Wondering: It is perfectly
logical to stop buying presents for him,
saying, “We know you don’t support
the crass commercialism of the holiday,
so we are respecting your beliefs and
not purchasing any gifts for you.” Of
course, that won’t help the relationship,
which seems a little strained. This is
your stepson, so Dad should handle it.
Has Dad told him how much it would
mean to get a call or card on his birth-
day? Some kids simply don’t connect
the dots or realize the importance of re-
membering a loved one’s special day. It
helps to remind them. Gently.
Dear Annie: This is in response to
“PO’d in New York,” who said you two
“need a lobotomy” for telling readers
that doggie paw prints don’t belong on
a sympathy card.
Annie, I have had pets, mostly cats,
since I was 6 years old. I have a pet
my beloved cats are buried. I have two
pet rescue cats whom I love with all my
heart. They are a part of my family. But
I would never, ever sign their names
or put their paw prints on a sympathy
card. In fact, I would be terribly upset if
someone sent me a sympathy card with
their animal’s names and paw prints on
I just had to let you know that not
every animal lover agrees with “PO’d.”
— A Cat Lover in Connecticut
Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). You don’t
have to put people to the test to sense which
ones are good for you. Affirm to yourself who
your allies are because utilizing your allianc-
es will help you succeed in the next 48 hours.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). It’s too gen-
eral to say that you trust one person or don’t
trust another. Understanding who people
are and how they are likely to behave is
much more useful than blanket statements
of trust or distrust.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). It’s said that
you’re not supposed to awaken people who
are sleepwalking. Similarly, it could be dan-
gerous to offer too much outside reality to
one who is living very much within a bubble
of personal reality.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Your social
landscape is changing. Instead of offering
signs of approval, try empathy. Ask the
questions that might help you better under-
stand how another person walks this world.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Does self-im-
provement have to be such an endless
quest? You may simply not be in the mood
for it today. As Winston Churchill said: “He
has all of the virtues I dislike and none of
the vices I admire.”
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Even though
you’ve done nothing wrong, those who mis-
understand you could ask you to defend your-
self. If you think you might be put on the stand,
prepare a case for yourself beforehand.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Some respon-
sibilities do not need to be taken on, and
others cannot be avoided and therefore
should be accepted immediately. Knowing
the difference takes wisdom, which you defi-
nitely possess.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Just be-
cause you have a right to do a thing doesn’t
mean you should. There are many consid-
erations to factor into today’s decisions, not
the least of which have to do with the feel-
ings of others.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). While
the gurus spout the glories of being “au-
thentically you” and “living your truth,” the re-
ality is that relating well to a variety of other
humans takes specialized skills that must
be learned. At first it will feel like an act.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). When
the laws of supply and demand don’t seem
to be working in your favor, get creative.
You’re truly brilliant in your ability to manage
the equation to better suit you.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Instead of
avoiding negative feelings, dive right in to
whatever is bothering you. Dealing directly
with your challenges will liberate you. A mo-
ment of unpleasantness will be followed by
hours of relief.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You can
plan this day to a point, but leave yourself
exit strategies too, and be willing to bail on
the plan when spontaneous opportunity
arises (and it will).
sides putting in the work to get use out of
the intellectual abundance of your birthright,
you’ll also apply emotional and spiritual in-
telligence to create the personal life of your
dreams. February brings a financial break-
through. You’ll receive visitors in May and
make memories. You’ll make an important
promise in September. Cancer and Virgo
adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 40, 22,
14, 39 and 50.