TOPICS OF
THB TIMES.
A man's second lore nearly always
owns more property than his first one.
The Inference Is that Pat Crowe went
to South Africa disguised as a Missouri
mule. ' '
The Mormons refrain from attempt
ing to defend polygamy. This show
progress.
If the home team wins It's owing to
good playing; but If the other fellows
win It's simply an accident.
When a woman has bad nine chil
dren she begins to have suspicions
about some of the beautiful passages
In love stories.
. Chicago's cigar-snioking dog is dead.
Somebody shot hi in. If be had smoked
cigarettes shooting would probably
have been unnecessary.
Trof. Garner is still working bis
monkey language graft The only thing
seriously feared Is a book of monkey
poems In the Uganda dialect
General Corbln says that "marriage
makes a man a better soldier." Thnt
stands to reason. The first requisite of
a model soldier Is to obey orders.
Sitting Hull's son is working as a
section baud on a Western railroad.
Can It be doubted any longer that re
publics are ungrateful to their princes?
It may be wrong to question the
motives of a high oillcial. but the pub
lic Is already wondering what excuse
the Postmaster General can offer for
issuing a 13-cent postage stamp.
If a person who feels Inclined to tell
somebody all about his fit of sickness
would talk Into a phonograph and then
listen to it himself he might under
stand how exciting and Interesting the
account Is to his friends.
A German critic has been compelled
to pay $25 for the luxury of saying
that a certain actress moves as grace
fully as a hippopotamus. We have
known cases where the hippopotamus
would have been the proper one to
bring action.
A priest of Naples gave bis congre
gation such a realtlstic picture of hell
that a panic resulted In which many
were hurt Now and then a page from
the dark ages maunges to get Itself
bound in the enlightened history which
W are iyosed to be making.
Considerable Interest would attach to
the proposed visit of President Loubet
of France to the Louisiana Purchase
Exposition in St Louis In 11)04, not
only because be Is the head of a friend
ly power, but because It was France
that sold the Louisiana territory to the
United States.
A New York young man who Inher
ited f 10,000,000 bus gone down Into
the poor district of the Hunt Sido and
Joined a university settlement for the
purpose of working among the poverty
stricken. That's almost as good es
teaching a fashlouuble Bible cluss up
on Fifth avenue.
Emperor William, on his recent visit
to Eugluud, led the First Itoyal Dra
goons In cheering for the king, and did
It the papers say, with suap and gusto.
The American boy will appreciate the
difficulties under which mouarchs la
bor when be remembers that the call
was "Three cheers for Ills Majesty
Klug Edward," not '"Rah, 'rah, 'rah,
E-a-w-ar-U!"
The discoverer of a new element or
the Investigator Into the records of the
past may be conferring as great a
blessing on mankind as the business
organizer who has built up a big fac
tory. Men have an Insatiable craving
for discovery, for progress of every
sort. It Is as legitimate to dovote one's
self to reaching the north pole as to
apend one's life refining oil. The ex
istence of art galleries, or parks, of
universities, of scientific organizations
of all sorts Is testimony to the fact
that the life Is more than meat It Is
quite possible that a few hundred
years hence the name of the discov
erer of the north pole may be remem
bered when that of the orgaulzer of
the steel trust Is forgotten.
A proposition that warms one's heart
la that which, It Is reported, a wealthy
Westerner has made to his five sons,
that they unite for business purposes
In a corporation In which each of the
six men shall have an equul share. "I
want all my sons to be successful and
all to advauce together," he says. "I
don't believe In this thing of one get
ting rich and another working for a
inall salary. The boys will have con
trol of our family syndicate, when It
comes to a vote, and will elect their
own board of directors and president.
Perhaps I can be more serviceable than
some. In the way of counsel, but there
will be no 'bossing' and no Jealousies,
and all the profits will be divided
wiually." All this suggests the way
In which fathers and sons and moth
era and daughters, tooshould pull to
gether. Will contests, and other un
inly squabbles In and out of court,
would be fewer If more families were
truldod by the Western man's views.
Franklin Stone, of Philadelphia, has
for years lieen living a double life. To
tlxwe who knew him and bis wife and
two sons, socially, be was the Ideal
family man. He was a banker and
broker, a leading member of a church,
liberal In his contributions to charity,
and to all appearances a high-toned
gentleman. There was another side to
this man. Away from borne be was
Intimate with gamblers, owned race
horses on which he risked heavy bets,
belonged to a club which promoted all
sorts of questionable sports and had
capital invested in one of . the most
notorious pool rooms in New York
City. Of course be was discovered.
It Is only strange he was not found out
long ago. And this case affords occa
sion for saying, There Is in every man
a dual nature. Some years ago Dr.
Sequard-Brown promulgated the the
ory of the dual brain and It Is said
that fila llaa aufr Qlaianiinn rt thlnWIflff'
.I'll 11.11. 1". . W 13
along this line of duality, resulting In
the conception of "The Strange Case
of Dr. JekyI and Mr. Hyde." And It
may be said that ever man has within
him, whether In his brain or not, a
dual self. He may not develop either
to Its outcome. It Is the business of
education and religion, to merge the
two, resolving the worse propensity
Into the better, forming what we call
the character. Every person has a cer
tain reputation. That is the Dr. Jekyl
part what one appears to be. Every
person has a certain character. That
Is the Mr. Hyde part what one really
Is. The Dr. Jekyl is honored and re
spected until it Is discovered that he
Is really the stealthy, ferocious Mr.
Hyde. Then comes denouement and
surprise. "A man In high station fall
en," says the headlines. It is not true.
There hns been the struggle of years
between Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. The
former hates, fears, abhors the latter.
He turns sick with apprehension at
the mere mention of the name. The
two fight for the possession of the
man. If Jekyl wins Hyde disappears.
If Hyde wins Jekyl disappears.
Not often has the public bad so good
an exhibition of the characteristic at
titude of the medical profession
which includes the profession of sur
geryIts feeling of responsibility, its
unselfishness and its fidelity, as has
been afforded by the great Austrian
surgeon who has lately been operating
in this country. He was called to Chi
cago to attend a child who bad suf
fered since birth from a dislocation of
the hip. The child's father, a man of
large wealth, brought him, at great
expense, to Chicago, because he was
considered one of the greatest special
ists In the world In cases of the kind.
No sooner was the operation com
pleted thnt the surgeon sought the hos
pitals of Chicago, St Louis and other
cities, and there, entirely without pay
ment he treated the children of the
poor. Other physicians came to wit
ness the operations, so that not only
tias the skill of this man changed the
future for many small sufferers, but it
will be disseminated In geometrical
progression; for the doctors who saw
the operations will, in turn, teach oth
ers. The course of Dr. Lorenss has at
tracted more than the usual attention
only because the man himself Is .so
well known and because he came to
this couutry under peculiar circum
stances. The standard of conduct of
the medical profession Is something of
which one can hardly write without a
glow of admiration. No profession Is
the world has a higher code of ethics.
The Hlppocratlc oath Is no longer ad
ministered, yet physicians still observe
Its obligations. They make public all
discoveries and Inventions which may
benefit the race and tnke no patents
upon nor profit from them. They give
the same faithful service and exercise
the same skill for a small fee as for a
large one, and the amount of work
which they do gratuitously Is known
only to themselves and to the recip
ients of their charity. The medical
man is Indeed a noble figure In our
life. We take off our bats to blm.
Generally Used.
A discussion has been started In Ger
many, urging that German children
drop the words "mama" and "papa"
In favor of "Mutter" (mother) and
"Yater" (father). "II6w," say they,
"can anybody prefer the unmeaning
'mamma' to the deep and impressive
'mutter f Nothing can replace for a
German the word 'Mutter,' certainly
not the French 'mamma.' A certain
philologist however, asks how It can
be suggested that the word 'mamma'
Is derived from the French, seeing that
It Is probably to be found In all lan
guages of the world. In the numerous
dialects of Africa, and In India, the
word Is 'mamma,' which Is given as
a title of honor to every elderly dame
deserving of esteem and respect
'Mamma' and 'papa' (haba) are so gen
erally used In all parts of the world
that they probably date back some
thousands of years."
Did Me Was Told.
A little freedom is a dangerous thing,
but it Is a most luxurious one, thought
young Alfred, who, according to the
Utlca Observer, went to a party under
Instructions from bis father not to
walk home If it rained, but to take a
cab.
It did rain, and great was the fa
ther's surprise when his son arrived
home dreuched to the skin.
"Why didn't you take a cab, as I
told youT" asked the father, sternly.
"Oh, I did!" was the sage reply. "But
when I ride with you, you always
make me ride iuslde. This time I
went on top with the driver. Say,
dad. it was grand!"
Shortest Name Known.
G. Ui of Sargeut, Mo., has possibly
the shortest surname on record.
A famine of silver dimes annoy the
average man more than the scarcity of
1,000 bill.
EVOLUTION AND INFLUENCE OF THE CARTOON.
By Tkomma Waif, tie great Cartoonist (Written April 14. 1903.)
There Is no telling when the art of
caricature began. There are a number
of grotesques that have come down to
us from earliest Egyptian times. The
Greeks employed pictures to emphasize
their satire, and so did the Romans.
All through the Middle Ages there were
numberless examples of "grotesqueries,"
which, curiously enough, were used In
enforcing the doctrines of the Church
by menns of satirizing the devil. But
the eighteenth century was the heyday
of the cartoon. Beginning In France,
and overrunning into Holland, and
MM
THOMAS HAST.
thence across the Channel Into England, the flood of cari
caturists carried everything before it; and It is safe to say
that we read the history of the time with clearer vision and
with more accuracy of detail for the mirror which the
caricaturists held up to retlect the striking peculiarities of
the men and events passing before It Gautler mentioned
a Spanish cartoonist Francisco Gaya y Luclentes, a mix
ture of Rembrandt, Watteau and Rabelais, who preceded
the two great caricaturists of the latter half of the eigh
teenth century; George Crulkshank, In England, and Mons.
Charlet, In France.
It has been reserved for America, however, to bring
forth a new race of caricaturists, which, for lack of a bet
ter title, may be called the personal cartoonists men who
seize upon the characteristics of an Individual and so ex
aggerate them that the subjects of the cartoons are known
by the most prominent features In their physical, mental
or moral make-up.
Perhaps we Americans look at the droll side of life
more than other people, but certain it is we have more
and better cartoonists than elsewhere. The very quick
ness with which we see the point of a Joke demands equal
fuclllty In portraying drollery In a cartoon. We sketch
boldly and leave much of the unnecessary detnll to our
slower cousins. Then, too, our public events happen with
such stnrtllng rapidity that a cartoon of yesterday's do
ings would he flat to-day, and we must keep very much
alive and be ready for a political change over night. In
other words, the alert Amerlcnu must have depicted In his
cartoon the very trnlts of character that have made him
what he is the quickest and brightest of men. .
HOW HUSBANDS AND WIVES DRIFT APART.
By Harriet A. Armstrong.
Despite the romantic and affectionate elements
In it, much of marriage resolves Itself Into a com
monsense partnership. If people only realized
this there would be fewer liquidations in love
and bankruptcies In matrimony. If women were
not so fond of hugging grievances and thinking
themselves martyrs for nothing at all, few mar
ried folk would "drift apart" A woman thinks
her husband has slighted her. Perhaps he has.
Anywuy, if she thinks be has, it s just as una rroni ner
point of view as if he really had. Sometimes she say noth
ing. Sometimes she says too much!
In the first case she goes bout with a sense of injury
smarting within her. Of course, if she Is in this frame of
mind, she is naturally on the lookout, for more slights and
Injuries. And it is so easy always to find what we look
for. Presently her heart swells with all the Indignities
and martyrdom she thinks she has been subject to. Per
haps the whole situation has arisen from a misunderstand
ing; and Jack or Jim would be horrified could he see the
big mountain of martyrdom which has arisen from the
molehill of that careless action or sentence of bis.
Now, we will take the case of the wife who does not
A VEGETARIAN CHURCH.
Its Essential Tenet 1 that Men Shall
Kat No Meat.
It may not be known to many that
there Is a Vegetarian Church, whose
chief tenet is that men should eat no
meat. This church has only one meet
ing house In America and only forty
members here. In England It has only
one meeting bouse, and only seventy
five members. And yet it is a church
neurly 100 years old. Its American
meeting house Is in Philadelphia, and
Its American leader Is Rev. Henry S.
Clubb, an old-time friend of Horace
Greeley.
In 1807 an Englishman, Rev. W.
Cowherd of Manchester, founded this
branch of the Bible Christians, and to
day, after the passage of nearly 100
years, they are still existent, and are
still almost unknown. In their two
churches the English one. In Man
chester, ami the American one In
Philadelphia it is possible to see little
children whose fathers and mothers,
grandfathers and grandmothers, and
whose great-grandfathers and great
grandmothers never once In their lives
tasted meat; little children are as ig
norant of the taste of meat as ordinary
TUK VtOKTAKlAN CHl'KCH.
persons are Ignorant of the tasto of
human flesh. For vegetarianism is the
chief article of their creed.
With their century of abstinence
from meat they afford a good example
of the effect of vegetarianism on man
kind. Their records, which appear to
have been kept carefully, cover ubout
300 cases, and show that:
The average lougevlty of a memoer
of the sect Is CI.
He Is not In his old age obliged to re
sort to false teeth.
HU eyes in seven cases out of ten
do not ever require (qiectaclea.
His weight keeps close to the normal
or proper weight bis frame and height
A. ' ' '"I .
THE-
JAMES J. HILL.
CAPITAL AND LABOR
there Is a better way
GOLF IN THE PARLOR.
spQ OLFERS who desire to play their favorite game in a parlor can now
(G? do so' ft Qulcl-wltted inventor having fashioned the necessary appara-
tus. This apparatus, or game, consists of a board, a cup and obstruc
tions which represent bunkers. The board Is of flexible fabric, and has an
elastic surface, and on it are marks indicating a golf course. The cup repre
sents one of the holes, and extends above the surface of the board, and the
(utter, when not In use, is so constructed that It can be rolled or folded into
a small compass. In a game of this kind a disk Is used Instead of a ball,
and the aim of each player is to get It over the course and obstructions and
into the cup. Croquet, cricket and even baseball have been played In par
lors, and there is no reason why golf should not prove equally attractive.
demand,, never approaching either to
corpulence or to emaciation.
He is singularly free from rheuma
tism and dyspepsia.
Dr. Cowherd, founder of the church,
was a. Swedenborgian, and held that
meat eating was at the base of the
crime of the world. It made men cruel
and because they slaughtered animals
dally they were blind to the wrong of
slaughtering their fellows by the bullet
in warfare and by the noose In crim
inal law. It made men also thirsty for
alcohol, and only through vegetarian
ism, he contended, could total absti
nence be made universal.
The unique article of his creed re
quires Its members to abstain from
eating flesh, fish or fowl as food; from
drinking intoxicating liquors of all
kinds; from war and capital punish
ment and slavery. So rigorous Is this
article that It Is hardly strange that
the sect has not flourished.
Dr. Cowherd died In 1SIC and the
following year a band of Jils follow
ers came to the United States, itev.
Henry S. Clubb has been their pastor
since 1S70.
brood silently over a fancied wrong. She belongs to the
type which says too much.. ...Tempers pa both. sides are
aroused, and each gives utterance to rather harsh senti
ments, which nelfher really feels. A "misunderstanding"
arises, and who can say where it will end?
Few among ys quarrel with those we love over things
that really matter. As a rule great crises In our lives, real
troubles, andleep sorrows draw us much closer to those
with whom we share them. It la the little nagging trifles,
the criss-crosses, and trivialities over which estrangements
and deep resentments arlBe.
TINANCIAL ADVERSITY AHEAD.
By J. J. Hill. President treat Northern Railway.
I am not one of those fellows who
cross their bridges before they come to
them, "alarmists," I think you call
them. I am disposed ' to be cheerful
about most things. But I can't see
anything In' the present financial situa
tion to cause me to do any rejoicing.
Things look serious. They are bad al
ready, and, what's more to the point
they are destined to grow worse. This country has reached
the top of Its prosperity. If the serious downward move
ment has not already begun, It is not far off.
There are more reasons than one for this; chief among
them Is the uncertain state of mind In which the New York
men find themselves from day to day. Uncertainty Is the
worst thing on earth for the moneyed Interests of a coun
try. One does not need to look to Wall street for support
of this opinion. Tight money Is not felt there alone. The
manufacturing districts are suffering already. Their suf
fering will Increase as things grow worse. Good evidence
can be found, too, among builders. Where they were re
ceiving orders for five buildings a year ago they are lucky
if they are getting one to-day.
Of course, I am not saying that my opinion Is held by
everybody. Probably a good many men who have positive
ideas about things would flail? contradict everything I
have said, but there are many people who agree with me.
SHOULD AGREE.
By United States Senator Hanna.
Organization of capital has come to
stay, Just as organized labor has come
to stay, and for the same reason It Is
necessary. You cannot separate the In
terests of capital and labor. If It Is
good for one to be organized for any
purpose, It Is good for the other for the
same reason. They are both good and
necessary as applied to our conditions
to-day and our development for the fu
ture. The combination of capital has
m. a. hanna. brought to our industrial Institutions
greater economic results; It has brought an Increase Id
trade and higher wages to the laborer. As capital Is or
ganized and produces beneficial results, labor, which was
organized many years before, will be the first to feel and
recognize its effects. We must strive to bring the different
factions together upon the ground that both sides want to
do what is right
In its early days organized labor .went upon the theory
that the only way to settle labor difficulties was to strike,
but It is my theory that It is becoming recognized that
to settle such differences. My theory Is
that If you bring men together In a way to make them
know each other and If you appeal to the head and the
heart you establish a bond between the two factions that
cannot be broken. ' We should remember the Golden Rule
and try to live up to Its principle. This is the only way
that I know to settle the dispute between capital and labor.
Behind the Scenes.
The Author (meekly) Could you ad
vance me (20 on my royalty account?
The Publisher Great Caesar! If you
haven't got the nerve of your swash
buckling hero.
The Author But you are advertis
ing that 50,000 copies of my novel have
been sold In advance.
The Publisher I see you know how
to read.
The Author And bow am I to keep
up the appearance of a successful au
thor? The Publisher Go away back and
hibernate for a month or so, and by
that time we'll probably know how
much you've cost us. Judge.
The Scottish Sabbath.
Scotland cannot very much longer be
quoted as a model in the matter of
Sunday observance; nnd surely It Is a
profound pity that Scotland should
suffer itself to be robbed of Its price
less h ?rltage. The Presbyterian.
A New York artist made a fortune
pnlntlng purple landscapes and lost
It painting red towns.
HAVE A MANIA FOR 8URQERY.
Too Many Needleaa Operations Ara
Performed by the Profession.
A mania for performing operations
seems to have seized upon the sur
geons of the country of late years. The
Introduction of anaesthetics, by aid of
which the horrors of an operation are
reduced to a mere discomfort of
breathing a few times into a bag;
the extended use of hospitals and nurs
ing homes, which has the result of re
lieving relatives and friends of all the
trouble and all the disagreeable In
cidents of an operation, and, finally,
the fact that with modern aseptic
methods the scar left by It Is often
quite trivial, have conspired to make
people regard the ordeal with curious
Indifference and enter with a light
heart Into adventures from which they
would perhaps have shrunk had they
known a little more. And where op
erations are necessary all this is good,"
It has to be admitted, however, thut
there Is another side to the question.
Partly owing to the publicity giveD
to operative work, partly to the fact
that the successful case Is apt to be by
no means reticent about the advant
ages of "getting the thing over" and
partly to the fact that dead men tell
no tales the public at large has come
to look with unlimited and undue con
fidence upon operations as a way out
of every dlfllculty a deus ex machlna
which can always be Invoked to hurry
matters up should the treatment of
a malady prove a little tedious. A
curious sort of demand for operutlve
treatment has arisen. People urge
each other not to allow their doctors
to "dally" with their cases, but to do
something "radical," nnd it Is to be
feared that sometimes if the doctor
does not adopt this radical policy or
at least do something that requires an
anesthetic they regard blm as "old
fashioned" (the very hardest thing
that one can nowadays say of any doc
tor) and run off to some one else. This
Is a kind of public sentiment which
it Is by no means easy to combat;
the Irresponsible chatter of the pa
tient's friends condemns the cautious
surgeon, while the unmeasured praise
bestowed by the same Irresponsible au
thorities upon the occasional success
of an adventurous operator leads to
undeserved fame. As we need hardly
say, the effect of all this must react
injuriously upon the medical profes
sion. Some medical men, Indeed, assert
that the evil consequences of this
mania for operating hnve already at
tained considerable dimensions. Chi
cago Chronicle.
LANKY MORRISON, UMPIRE
The flag rush between the sopho
mores and freshmen at Northwest
ern University the other day reminded:
the father of one of the latter of his
schoolboy days. The master of his
school was a cadaverous six-footer
known as Lanky Morrison.
"Our game," said the father, "was
shinny. Shinny then was a sort of
cross between polo and Donnybrook.
fair.
"The came was played between the
big boys and the little ones, nnd every
small boy In school had his shins done
up In bandages, and usually carried
one arm In a sling. The big boys took
special pleasure in knocking the llttlfr
ones.
"One day about half the school had
to be excused on account of bruises-
from shinny. Then Lanky Morrison
addressed the school about as follows,.
as I recall it:
" 'Until further notice the game of
shlnnv will be played by the Parvl
and the Bullies as heretofore, except
that the title of either side will be as
I have Btated.'"
" 'I also desire to say that I will
be present as umpire. Whenever a
Bully sees tit to hit one of the Tarvi.
I shall take it upon myself to hit one
of the Bullies.'
"When Lanky Morrison appeared on
the playgrounds he had a stick as long-
as his body, and when he reached out
he came pretty near covering the field.
When the stick got Into play the Bul
lies almost lost the game.
"The boys who grow up In the town
were always known by the name of
the side with which they played shln
nv on Lanky Morrison's school ground.
The two sides became famous in that
part of the country.
"It was enough to say or a young
man, he was one or tne irarvi or a
Bully In shinny at Morrison's school.
One of the Bullies became a minister,
but as long as he remained in that
part of the country he was known as
the Rev. Bully .
"I do not think the teams would
have ever become as famous as they
did had not Lanky Morrison come Into
the game as umpire. And when he
died the Bullies and the Parvl turned
out and the plain shaft which marks
his grave in the old town cemetery
was erected by the two teams.
"The shaft is exactly Lanky Morri
son's length, 6 feet 4, from the base,
and on the base Is the inscription, af
ter the master's name, birth and date
of death, 'Erected by the Bullies and
the Farvi.' "Chicago Inter Ocean.
Land of Fair Weather.
Fuerto Rico Is an almost perfect
land as regards climate, and serious
forms of sickness have been banish
ed. It Is a land where crops enn be
raised In almost all seasons, and there
Is scarcely any Intermission In produc
tion. Town Ieals in Rabbits.
Torquay. England, possesses a mu
nicipal rabbit warren, where over 13.
000 rabbits have been trapped during
the past year and sent for sale in the
northern and midland markets.
v