MORHIHQ ENTERPRISE. TTtURSDAY, JUNE 13, 1912
THE NEW
FOURTH OF JULY
There Are Worse Inflictions
Than Mere Noise
By EDWARD B. DOUGLAS
"How glad 1 am," said Mrs. Brewer,
"that firecrackers, pistols, guns and all
explosives by which the Fourth of
July has been celebrated are going
out. They used to commence the
racket a day or two before the Fourth
yid keep It up till the day after. This
year, I am happy to say, the sale of
such articles for celebration Is pro
hibited, and we will have a peaceful
day. The children have been given
the money usually burned up to spend
in other ways, and I shall not be tor
tured with the expectation that Tom
my has had his eyes blown out with
his little cannon or that Alec has been
poisoned by a toy pistol."
These words the good lady said to
me the evening before Independence
day, I having been Invited to spend
the anniversary with her at her coun
try place. Notwithstanding the laws
against a fiery celebration in the city
6 fix icKx
SHE CAUGHT AN OVEB HANGING BBANOH
AND ESCAPED.
there Is still a great deal of noise. I
am inclined to be nervous, and noises
trouble me exceedingly.
The Brewer family consists of Mar
garet, aged twenty-two and I may as
well admit here that she was the prin
cipal inducement for my visit; Helen,
commonly called Nell, aged seventeen;
Gus, a boy of twelve, and Alec, ten.
I closed my eyes on the night of
the 3d thinking how much pleasanter
would be my awakening than It had
been on other Fourths, when from 4
o'clock in the morning there had been
a succession of explosions. Breakfast
was to be-at 9 o'clock, and I need not
arise till after 8. I slept soundly till
half past 4, when I awoke, thought
how delightful it was to hear no sound,
turned over for another nap, when a
bright light was flashed in my eyes.
Surprised, I sat up and looked to
ward the window from which direction
it seemed to come. The only light was
the morning dawn beginning to glimmer
through the casement. Not a sound
broke the stillness. Thinking that I
had been disturbed by a meteorite or
a huge firefly possibly a flash of light
ning, though I could see stars through
the window I closed my eyes again.
I was sinking into a delicious slumber
when another flash awakened me. This
time It was of longer duration, and a
vivid point of light Just above the win
dow sill blinded me to everything else.
It lasted for perhaps ten seconds, then
went out suddenly.
I had suffered so much of Fourth of
July mornings from small boys or girls
arousing me by means of firecrackers
that I was long in divining the cause
of this altered method of torture. Some"
youngster had flashed an electric hand
lamp in my eyes. Probably Gus or
Alice, who, deprived of the pleasure of
annoying persons on this Fourth of
July morning with explosions, had in
vented a method of achieving the same
end. My hopes of a quiet Fourth "fell
thick in the blast" I realized that
while we may pass laws against youth
ful armaments, while we may bribe
the youth to discontinue harmful and
annoying practices, we simply Jump
out of the frying pan into the fire, or,
rather, in this case I had Jumped out of
the fire Into the frying pan. I had
simply got rid of the hammering of
the cracker on the drum of my ear to
receive the flash of the electric hand
lamp on the retina of my eye.
I lay . tossing in bed till" 7 o'clock,
then arose, dressed myself and went
out on the porch. The morning was
beautiful, though the day promised to
be hot. An hour and a half must
elapse before breakfast, and I experi
enced the pangs of hunger. Sitting
down in a wicker chair, I threw my
hat on the porch, for my brow was per
rpirlng, and waited. Happily I fell
I sleep.
I dreamed of pastures green and
cool streams. . .But presently there
came in my dream a great winged in
sect and perched on a little bald spot
on the top of my head Just where the
Indian wore his scalp lock. He tickled
the skin, and I put my hand up to
scare himaway. He flew away for
about six inches and. returning. lit
again In the same place. A second
time I drove him away, but he flitted
about my hand, biting it and bounding
from It as though angry at being dis-
, tar bed.
I awoke, and, true enough, there was
the monster just settling again on my
bald' spot I fought him, and he
feught me, till, becoming thoroughly
awake, I got a better view of him and
saw he was composed of yellow and
blue paper. Moreover, one end of a
string was attached to his body and
the ether to a stick which protruded
from a window Just above my head.
Suddenly my tormenter was Jerked up
Into the window, and I beard a con
fusion of giggles.
"Wherein," I asked jnyself, "ia ie
new- Fourth of Tuly superior to" the
old? Formerly there was but one
point of attack on a man's sensibili
ties the ears. When youngsters were
permitted to make noises their atten
tion was "fixed on the articles with
which they caused the torture. Now
that they are not permitted to make-
noises, their attention Is fixed on the
tortured, and where their firing of
crackers, guns, cannons and other
death dealing articles caused but one
kind of suffering their inventive gen
ius now causes a multiplicity. Would
that the great republic had never been
born or I."
I left the house to the young scamps
and went off, in to the grounds, sitting
on a rustic seat under a tree. But
here real insects mosquitoes were
evidently celebrating an anniversary
of their own, for they bit my face, my
hands and my neck, and I was forced
to keep in constant motion to drijre
them away. So I got up and walked.
Yes, I was forced to walk for an hour
treadmill fashion, when I was reliev
ed by a call to breakfast.
How nice it was this morning," re
marked Mrs. Brewer, "not to be awak
ened by those horrid crackers! I don't
remember ever before sleeping on a
Fourth of July morning after daylight.
Did you enjoy it, Mr. Collamore?"
Very much," I replied. I cast my
eyes about the table to detect who had
annoyed me, my gaze lighting on the
boys. To my surprise, they showed no
consciousness of guilt. But by the
way Nell poked her nose down near
her plate in an effort to conceal her
features I knew that she had been my
torturer.
And here I will remark that, despite
the reputation of the small boy for
waywardness, for causing his mother
distress by climbing trees and getting
into mudholes while dressed in his
best suit, for smashing things without
reason or provocation, he is not to be
compared for pure cussedness with
certain girls from fifteen to eighteen.
I refer to the kind of girl commonly
called hoyden and in some cases tom
boy. And I will further remark that
Nell Brewer was the quintessence of
this kind of girl. Such girls always
have what we call an innocent way
with them. They can look purer.
sweeter, more pious, than any other
girl. But when Satan comes out in
them he dances a highland fling.
I was sitting after breakfast with
Margaret on the porch near the door
of the conservatory. Margaret was
discoursing on the changed Independ
ence day how much more restful,
more quiet than the old Fourth.
Everybody seemed to be harping con
tinually on the subject They didn't
harp so much before it had .ended. I
was sitting with my back to the con
servatory when I felt cold water sprin
kled against the back of my neck run
down my spine.
"Oh, Mr. Collamore," cried Nell, "I'm
so sorry! I was watering the plants,
and the sprayer slipped." t -
Nell," said Margaret, "yon should
be more careful."
It's of no consequence, I assure
you," I said, with the politeness expect
ed of a guest
I hope I didn't wet you," said Nell.
Not at all, only a few drops; they
feel deliciously cool," and I rubbed my
neck and ruined shirt collar with my
handkerchief.
But as the day wore on I had my re
venge on this family who delighted in
the new Fourth. Tommy fell off the
roof of the barn and broke his arm.
Alec, not having any firecrackers to
set off, set fire to the dry grass and
came near burning up all the buildings
on the premises. For Nell's annoy
ances to me 1 resolved to punish her,
so I invited her to go rowing with me
on the river, intending to give her a
ducking if I could. I was willing to
suffer myself from the water if I could
put her into it, and I wouldn't have
minded drowning her. I upset the
boat but so agile was she that she
caught an overhanging branch and es
caped "with no more serious damage
than a pair of wet feet, while 1 was
obliged to swim for dear life.
When I got into dry clothes I asked
Margaret to go for a drive with me In
the auto. While we were driving she
said:
'Isn't it nice to ride on the Fourth of
July not fearing the horses will be
frightened by a cracker? We neither
have horses now nor crackers." She
had hardly spoken the words before
one of the forward wheels struck a
stone, wrenching the steering wheel
out of my hands, and before I could re
cover It the auto had swerved, struck
a telegraph pole and thrown both Mar
garet and myself Into a ditch. It was
a miracle that we were not both hurled
against the pole and killed. We were
black as your hat with mud.
Such was the finale of the new ex-
plosionless Fourth. I have endured
many a cracker anniversary, but never
have I suffered as on this regenerated
Independence day. when -all was still.
The ending was worse even than I
have depicted It. for Margaret was so
mad at having a new and costly dress
spoiled in the ditch that she never has
forgiven me for putting her there. She
says It was all due to my carelessness.
FRIENDLINESS.
Travel as a friendly man wherever
you go. Make new friends. Trust
men as often as possible. Be glad
at every glow of kindly feeling that
warms your heart Look for good
and not for evil in all kinds and con
ditions of men. Find out their best
thought The humblest may teach
you something. Praise whatever is
good. Carry the signs of a new
freemasonry. You shall make fast
the ties which bind the world. You
shall put an end to war. Charles
F. Dole.
What tie Couldn't Do.
An actor was boasting of his prowess
In various ways. The company was
seated around a luncheon table and at
last got so weary of hearing of the
"best ever" deeds of this boaster that
one of the crowd at last broke In with:
"Look herel You've told us so much
about what yon can do and have done;
perhaps you'U tell ns something yon
can't da"
"Certainly," -replied the braggart,
with ready wit "I can't pay my share
of this reckoning." St Louis Republic.
I-M"I-H-1"I"H"H"H"I"H"1 I ! UA !
f YALE PLAYERS PUZZLED T
BALL PLAYER STOCK.
Milton Stock, the youngster
who was given a trial by the
Giants in the spring, saw many
strange things In New York, but
nothing that puzzled him more
than the word "Yale." When he
saw the Yale players at the Polo
grounds for their exhibition with
the Giants he turned, to a fan
and said, "Say, where are these
guys from?" "From New Ha
ven, up In Connecticut, where
they make locks!" was the reply.
"And these guys are- the ones
that make the locks, eh? Say,
what league are they in?"
1-I-H-I-H-M"I"I"1"1"I"1"I"I-I-I-I-H-H-
BAT NELSON IS THROUGH.
Ex-Champion's Hands Are Gona, and
He'll Retire For Good. -
Battling Nelson, the former light
weight champion, at last admits that
he Is "all In." The game fighter Is now
satisfied that his sun as a retriever of
his lost championship has set
When he broke his hands a few
weeks ago Nelson took the matter
lightly. He paid a visit to the famous
"Bonesetter" Rees of Youngstown, O.,
to 'obtain needed relief. Reese put
Nelson's hands under a careful and
thorough examination. When be -had
finished he remarked to Nelson:
"Battler, your hands are gone, and I
regret to add that your days as a great
fighter are over."
The Dane took the sentence stoically
and now comes out with his short
swan song.
MARQUARD NEEDS SLOW BALL
Coach Robinson Is Drilling Tall South
paw In Art of Changing Pace.
- If Rube Marquard can pitch a slow
ball Coach Robinson of the Giants
says he will be invincible Marquard
has learned to control terrific speed
and a fast breaking curve. But he
doesn't know much about change of
pace. Robinson is drilling him every
day in the art of pitching floaters and
says the big southpaw is making prog
ress. All of the great pitchers in days gone
by mixed slow ones with fast ones,
thereby increasing their effectiveness
in a remarkable way. One of the first
to use a slow ball was Radbourne of
the champion Providence team of 1884.
Tim Keefe and John Clarkson also em-
"VHP
Photos Dy American Press Association.
TWO VIEWS OF BDBB MABQUAED.
ployed change of pace with splendid
results. It was Keefe who first show
ed Amos Rusie how to pitch a slow
ball. The big Hoosier Was depending
entirely on speed when Keefe took him
in hand. In a couple of months Rusie
had the floater down fine, and as he
never varied his delivery be had prac
tically every big hitter in the country
on his list
Nap Rucker of Brooklyn in a game
Igainst the Giants recently pitched a
slow ball to Merkle that was a gem.
The sphere seemed ready to drop to
the ground in its journey to the plate, i
It had so little momentum that Merkle
did not know what to make of It until
Umpire Klem called it a strike. The
next ball, delivered with the same
windup, had whiskers on it and whis
tled over the pan before Merkle could
see It That was real change of pace
rare enough.
Impractical on the Face of It.
"I understand," said Mr. Erastus
Pinkley, "dat dey has Invented a ma
chine ton was bin' an' Ironin' money."
"Go' long, man," replied Miss. Miami
Brown. "Yon knows des as well as 1
does dese white folks ain' g'lneter
leave no clotheslines full of two dollar
bills nangln' out ts de yard." Wash
ington Star.
Tangled.
Ann (after the ceremony I mnstn t
can yoo mis now, iiih am. rvs von re
oia am oo, ansa -rum-h.
I -
PORTLAND EASILY
DEFEATS OAKLAND
PORTLAND, June 12, (Special.)
Klawitter was in fine form today, and
Portland beat the Oaks 3 to 0. The
Beavers made all their runs in the
fifth inning on good hitting. This is
the second successive game credited
to McCredie's men.
The results Wednesday follow:
National League
Pittsburg 7, Brooklyn 3.
St Louis 8, Boston 6.
Cincinnati 8, Philadelphia 0.
Chicago 2, New York 3.
1 American League
Washington 5, Detroit 1.
Philadelphia 6, Cleveland 0. .
New York 2, Chicago 11.
Pacific Coast League Standings
W. Li. P.C.
Vernon 40 25 .615
Oakland . 39 28 .582
Los Angeles 35 30 .538
Sacramento 27 36 .429
Portland 24 34 .414
San Francisco 27 39 .409
Yesterday's Results
. At Portland Portland 3, Oakland 0.
At San Francisco Los Angeles 10,
San Francisco 2.
' At Los Angeles Vernon 3, Sacra
mento 1.
MOOSHiuflDS
12 TO MEMBEI
Nothwithstanding the many counter
attractions the meeting of the Loyal
Order of Moose No. 961 of Oregon City
was well attended Wednesday even
ing. Fully a score of proposed mem
bers were balloted upon and a round
dozen were added to the herd when
the box was examined. Among the
newly initiated was "Colonel" Young,
manager of the lighting department
of the P. R. L. & P. Co. in this city.
"Colonel" -Young'sassociation with
the lodge will do much to help on - the
energetic work which the order has
maintained since its Inception, and his
enthusiastic efforts can. be assured to
the Loyal Order of Moose.
Organizer Bert Westcott has an
nounced that his duties in this city
will close with the next meeting, at
which time the present charter will be
closed. It is understood that Mr.
Westcott will then announce the ac
tual date of his departure, which will
be celebrated by a banquet given by
himself to the officers of th lodge.
FAIR LILLIAN
E
OF
PITTSBURG, June 12. After re
peated denials of the marriage of Al
exander P. Moore, publisher of the
Pittsburg Leader, to Lillian Russell,
the actress; which, took place hereto
day, the management of the Leader
finally issued a story of the wedding.
The story states that Moore and
Miss Russell were married at noon to
day at the Hotel Schenley, Rev. Frank
Lewis of the First Protestant Metho
dist church, officiating assisted by
Rev. J. W. Righter of the Second Prot
estant Methodist church.
Only relatives and Intimate friends
including members of the Weber and
Fields Jubilee company, of which Miss
Russel is a member, attended.
Mrs. Susanne Westford, sister of
Miss Russell, came from New York
to witness the ceremony.
Miss Russell leaves tonight with her
company, easthound, according to the
Leader's authorized statement Moore
leaves tonight for Chicago to attend
the Republican national - convention,
"in fulfillment of a promise to Colon
el Roosevelt made some time ago."
5
BINGER HERMANN IS
SEEKING VINDICATION
WASHINGTON, June 12. Binger
Hermann is here trying to get the
House to authorize an investigation
of Oregon land fraud prosecutions un
der Hitchcock, the Secretary of the
Interior, with a view to securing vin
dication for himself, basing his de
mand on the revelations In the Jones
pardon case. ,
A thorough investigation of the
methods of Prosecutor F. J. Heney and
W. J. Burns, the detective, in the Ore
gon land fraud cases is being demand
ed of Congress. That an investiagtion,
would be called for was evident when
President Taft granted an uncondi
tional pardon to Willard N. Jones a
few days ago, the prfrdon being based
on the evidence showing the jury was
"hand picked" by the Government
and "stacked" so -that the defendants
could not secure a fair trial. In the
trial of Hermann the jury disagreed,
standing, it is said, ten for conviction
and two for acquittal.
Heart to Heart
Talks.
By EDWIN A.NYE.
. LONG DISTANCE CRIME.
You can sit in a leather cushioned
office chair in New York and kill a
man in Lincoln, Neb.
You can commit a crime by tele
grapn or by long distance telephone.
And not only is it easier to' murder
men in this way, but it is much safer
than if you were on the ground.
What do I mean?
Well, say a switchman is killed in
the railroad yards at Indianapolis be
cause of lack of proper equipment or
a brakeman is crippled at Cheyenne
because of the lack of safety appliances
required by law. Who committed the
crime?
The division superintendent?
Probably' he has called the attention
of the general manager to this very
lack. And probably the manager has
urged the board of directors to provide
for the equipment. Who then is guilty?
The men who sit about the mahogany
table in New York.
And the crimes are committed for
the basest of all motives money. The
men in charge must make dividends or
resign. The stockholders must have
their money, though it be wrung from
quivering human flesh.
Or, again:
Here are legal Infants sorting coal
over a long chute. and are being slow
ly choked to death, or for lack of tim-
j bers In the mine slate falls upon the
head of a family and kills him, or for
lack of ventilation men die of tuber
culosis, or a fire breaks out in a mine
room, and there are no cutoff doors,
and miners die in the tunnels.
Who Is to blame?
The pit boss or the superintendent?
In all likelihood the owner's attention
has been called to the needs, and he
has replied that "more economies must
be used in operation of the plant"
Or, again:
Here are hundreds of children under
legal age working in a big cotton fac
tory. There is a law on the statute
books against child labor, but It is not
enforced.
. Who is guilty?
Somebody miles away who Is send
ing his family to Newport or to Eu
rope for the summer.
Criminals?
Think you they are the only thieves
and murderers who slouch through
back alleys or who fill the benches of
the police court or who scowl through
Systems and Devices for
every kind of business
and profession. A 'phone
call will bring us, or, bet
ter still, come in and
view our modern plant.
OREGON CITY ENTERPRISE
OF CLACKAMAS MAN
G. W. Moore, of Clackamas, Is a
brother of Joseph Moore, a business
man of Villisco, Ind.who with, his
wife and four children and two wo
men visitors were murdered In their
home on the night of June 9. Mr.
Moore received a telegram Wednes
day giving details of the tragedy. He
will be unabTe to attend the funerals.
The assassin entered the house
through a rear door and brained the
occupants with an ax. Revenge for
a fancied wrong is thought to have
been the motive for the crime. The
visitors at the Moore home who were
slain were Mrs. Van Gilder and her
daughter. The assassin has not been
captured.
, THE BEAUTIFUL
We ought to acquaint ourselves
with the beau'iful; we ought to
contemplate it with rapture and at
tempt to raise ourselves up to its
height, and in order to gain strength
for that we must keep ourselves
thoroughly unselfish. We must
not make it ?ur own, but rather
seek to communicate it indeed, to
make a sacrifice ol it to those who
aredeas nd preciouaco us. Goethe.
Olfactory f;arves.
The olfartorj nerves rt rendered
useless for an hour uy simply' rinsing
with cold w.-iter. iiikI other fluids may
destroy their erhViem-.v fsir mure. The
anatomist Byrti. vim drew an InfnsioD
Of tea into his. nose with the idea of
curing a cold, suffered ius i the pow
er of smell tor sii months and
throughout ui life never completely
recovered It V
The Best ot Reasons.
H otitis n rtio the -ust)tpr 'enve
toe country i Points I he nun reason
was tnat ue riiimin t:iKe il vmo nun
Now for the Seashore!
VIA
Season Tickets on
Sale June 1st
ROUTES
TILLAMOOK AND
Season fares from the principal
Beaches are as follows: .
FROM f TO FARE
Portland Newport 6.25
Oregon City . " 6.25
Salem " 5.15
Albany " . 4.00
Corvallis " 3.75
Eugene " 5.80
Roseburg " ' 8.75
Medford " " 12.00
Ashland, " 12.00
Tickets to above points on sale
pondingly low fares from other points. Week end tickets are also
on sale from various points. .
Sunday Excursion Train on the C. & E. R. R.
-'Leaves Albany at 7:30 a. m., Corvallles at 8 a. m. and connects
with S. P. Trains 16, 14, and 28 from points south.
Call on our nearest agent for "Vacation Days In Oregon," a beaut
ifully illustrated booklet describing various outing resorts, or write
to
John M. Scott, General Passenger Agent, Portland, Ore.
Attend the B. P. O. E. ETks Coaventlon, Portland July 8-13.
.aw Fares to all points East June to September.
,eaff
U. S. PLANS SCHOOL
COURSE TO END WAR
WASHINGTON, June 12. Warfare
is to be ended for all time, at least
so far as the United States is concern
ed, and. the standard of citizenship in
this country is to be put on a higher
plane than ever before by a course of
study in good will which is devised
for the elementary schools througE
this country. Such at least, Is the
hope of those who have formulated
the course. A complete outline of the
tdpics covered in this new school sub
ject is contained in a Government pub
lication just issued for free distribu
tion by the United States Bureau of
Education. f
In the lower grades according to ta"
Bureau of Education's monograph, the
child is trained in habits of forebear
ance, consideration, gentleness and
self-control, while in the late grades
emphasis is laid upon the principles
of the world-peace movement
Thus in the first grade the child
learns the treatment he should give
his companions and pets. The sec
ond grade deals with home life, the
third with school and play time, while
the fourth takes up the home town or
city. In grade five the course broad
ens to include a consideration "of the
whole country; in the sixth the child
takes up good citizenship, in the sev
enth he studies the world family, and
in the last he learns what the larger
patriotism means.
In this way the child grows up In
the understanding that the good will
which he must show his friends and
parents should also be extended to
all the inhabitants of the earth. He
begins by learning that he must be
kind to animals and playmates be
cause he is in constant relations with
them; then he comes to understand
that this nation should be at peace
with all others because all nations are
interdependent; and this finally leads
to the last topic in the whole long
course the united world.
Boost your city by boosting your
daily paper. The Enterprise should
be in every home.
THE
- AT X
3- Day Tickets on
Sale Saturday and
Sunday to.
NEWPORT BEACHES
stations to Newport or Tillamook
TO
Tillamook Beaches
FARE
4.00
. 4.70
- 6.00
7.30
7.10
9.00
12.00
17.20
.17.75
dally good all season, with corres