4
MORNING ENTERPRISE, WEDNESDAY, MAY 29 1912.
DEAD EEL NUISANCE
LAJOIE'S PRIZE
HARD LUCK STORY
PORTLAND BEATS
IS TO BE ABROGATED
,4 TO 2
W3Fi
Ever since the Indians stopped fish
ing for eels at and below the falls,
Oregon City and other cities along the
Willamette down to Portland have
been bothered each summer by offen
sive odors arising from the river.
During the back water large -schools
of eels come up the stream the same
as salmon to spawn, but on account
of their instinct to hang to the rocks
with their mouths instead of jumping
as the salmon do, they are unable to
get above the Willamette falls. As
the waters recede the eels are left
above low water mark to die, notwith
standing the efforts in the past of the
various companies at the falls to dis
pose of these fish by burning and
burying and at times the nuisance has
been almost unbearable.
This year Master Fish Warden
Clanton, at the request of the Will
amette River Sanitary Association has
arranged to put a patrol on the river
between the falls and the Multnomah
County line, to remove any and all
eels which are not taken care of by
the Fish Commission at the falls.
While this work will be under the
supervision of Mr. Clanton, the cost
must be taken care of by the Sanitary
Association, which put the matter up
to the Live Wires at their meeting
Tuesday. B. T. McBain was appoint
ed a committee of one to obtain sub
scriptions, and has forwarded to the
Association subscription lists amount
ing to $85.00, and expects to receive
enough additional from the City Coun
cil to make a total of $100..
MUSICIANS TO HAVE
RELIEF FUND
OMAHA, Neb., May 28. Another
relief fund for the Titanic survivors
has been inaugurated by the delegates
to the Seventeenth annual convention
of the American Federation of Mu
sicians, which convened in this city,
The federation will devote its fund to
the widows and orphans of the mem
bers of the Titanic's band, and in ad
dition will erect a marble shaft to
their memory.
The convention was opened by
President Joseph N. Weber of New
York, who paid a warm tribute to the
heroism of the Titanic musicians and
sugested that the American organiza
tion show its appreciation of their
conduct by circulating a petition
among its 585 local organizations to
gather funds for the use of the wid
ows and orphans. This proposal was
greeted with enthusiasm by the dele
gates and was warmly seconded by
other speakers at the opening session,
iseiore tne convention adjourns, a
committee will be appointed to han
dle this matter and to select a suit
able monument
Heart to Heart
Talks.
By EDWIN A.NYE.
AT YOUR BEST.
xon are at your best when vou are
helping somebody
xuu are tuut uiviuest spectacle on
eartn a man at bis best--wben. stirred
to action by the appeal of some on.'
wno needs you. you open your heart.
your hand, your purse.
It is so of man in the mass.
When a Chicago fire, a Galveston
flood or a Sag Francisco earthquake
makes instant appeal men move at their
best. They act in mass on the high
plane of a united ministry.
Such a response develops iu a whole
people all that is highest in feeling and
noblest in action.
But-
Do you know that every day there is
an earthquake or a fire or a flood in
somebody's soul?
Every day some man's substance is
swept away; every day some woman's
heart is rent by an earthquake; every
day some child's life is flooded by sor
row. You do not know about it.
If you did you would sympathize and
help.
The calamity may come to your next
door neighbor and you know it not.
Your neighbor hides his wound. He
fears humiliation or he questions the
genuineness of your sympathies.
Now
He has missed his chance to be help
ed by you. and you have .missed your
opportunity to be at your best.
It is fine when all men respond to
some great call made upon the common
sympathy through fire or cyclone or
flood, but it is finer when the concern
of your neighbor becomes your con
cern.
Do not wait for fire or flood.
Men and women and little children
everywhere need you. They bear bur
dens you should help to lighten. They
suffer pains you should help assuage.
The wounded, the discouraged, the
sick, the poor, we have always with us.
Be at your best.
, Help.
Help not only because you can re
lieve and bless, but because by doing
W you can make most of yourself and
live at your best because, you can de
velop in yourself that which we so
greatly admire when a great people re
sponds to a great need.
If you would be at your best
Help! -
Knew What Sh Wanted.
. "Miss Bolde." said the shy student
to the fair co-ed on the other end of
the sofa. "If I were to throw you a
kiss what would you say?"
"I'd say you're the laziest man I
ver met" Minnehaha.
TWO ROADS.
Every evil and Wasteful habit we
persist in draws upon out strength
and resources without making any
proper return. On the other hand,
every task that faithfully done,
every responsibility manfully borne
in the path of duty steadies us like
well bestowed ballast
Teils of Double Header When
Five P.ayers Were Injure!
THEIR ABSENCE LOST FLAG,
Happened In 1906, and Cleveland Was
Only Eight Points Behind the Lead
ers, but Loss of Stars Weakened the
Team.
Larry Lajoie, the Cleveland Atneri
Kan star second baseman, sympathizes
with Managers Charley Dooin of tlie
Phillies, Harry Wolvertou of the
Yankees and Roger Bresnaban of the
St Louis Cardinals because .ot the
crippled condition of their teams.
"Yes," said Lajoie, recently, "they
are having their share of hard luck.
When I scan their lineups in the
morning papers I wonder that they
manage to win now and then. And
It takes me back to the days ot 1U00
when we won a double header at New
York, went into second place only
eight points behind .the leaders - and
in pulling off that trick lost live play
ers in the two games.
"I really think that no club ever
met with as bard luck In a double
header as we did that day. First
Harry . Bay. who had been " going
splendidly, dislocated his knee. He
had been our lead-off man. hut that
accident practically elided, his big
league days. Claude Kosstuan was
spiked In the hand. Harry Betnis
strained himself, and then one ot Bill
Hogg's wild inshoots caught Bradley
on the wrist and broke it. that
started Brad toward the minors. Bai
beau took Brad's place, and one ot his
wild throwsiit Stovall on the Dip
and chipped a piece of his bip bone.
"But we won ihose two games and
took down a percentage ot ti(Ki. But.
as far as winning the pennant was
concerned, we were out of it, for we
began lo lose consistently. You see.
Nig Clarke already was out ot the
game with a broken finger,, and in the
second game at Boston following l he
disaster at New York Tuck Turner
had his thumb put out of commission.
"So we had to line, up with Hossuian
with a spiked hand on first, Flick on
second, myself at short and Barheau
on third. Jimmy Jackson. Hess and
Congaltou took care ot the outfield,
while Buelow and Kiitredge. ueither
of whom could throw at that time.
did the catchiug That just shows
you how quickly a xeam that has a
chance to win the pennant can be
turned Into a club that has to right
to keep out of the second division.
Yes, I surely sympathize with Oooln.
Bresnaban and VYolverton."
WILDING IN OLYMPICS.
All
England Tennis Champion Will
Represent Australia In Classic.
Anthony F. Wilding, the . famous
Australian lawn tennis player, who
holds the all England championship, is
to represent his section of the world
ANTHONY P. WTLDINQ.DSTRAIjIA S tRACS
TENNIS PLATER.
at the Olympic covered coui;t competi
tions in Stockholm the latter part of
June.
Gordon Inglis, the London represent
ative of the Australasia I.awu Tennis
association, was instrumental, after
considerable difficulty, iu securing
Wilding's consent
Muliin Must Have Arm of Steel.
Wonderful how George Mullin of the
Detroit Tigers comes back each year!
Te veteran must Dave steel joints in
bis Ditching arm. ......
Old Age on Saturn.
We are reminded that if human be
ings lived on the planet Saturn they
would be old at three years of age. not
that life is any swifter or the cares of
maturity any more pressing. It is
merely because Saturn is so far from
the sun that it takes nearly thirty
years, according to the earth's meas
urement of time, to travel In its orbit
Pound the sun.
Voice of Experience,
If I mairv I'll rule the roost
vyliy. I'Mi-k You'll know why.
HoK'.nn Tr.iiisi ript
Il k
ui know
all right
Is? m 6
rii & 1 'M'y--
tkJmi - -:
'
VICTORIA B. C, May 28. Pitcher
Eastley didn't let hits come in bunch
es and the Bees bit the dust this aft
ernoon, the Colts landing on Twirler
Narveson in the seventh and eighth
for four runs. However, the old-time
Islanders died hard in the ninth after
Kellar's home run, finishing with
three men on the 'bases.
The last few minutes of play were
marked by one of the greatest dem
onstrations from the audience that
has been witnessed this season, the
entire crowd standing and beseech
Kennedy to hammer the ball out of
sight.
Instead, he grounded to Criukshank
at second and the side was retired
with an easy- toss to Wiliams. The
score was Portland 4, Victoria 2.
The results Tuesday follow:
National League
New York 5, Brooklyn 4.
St. Louis 7, Pittsburg 4.
Cincinnati 2, Chicago 10.
Boston 8, Philadelphia 10.
American League
Detroit 5, St. Louis 0.
Philadelphia 1, Boston 7.
Washington 8, New York
Chicago 7, Cleveland 3.
2.
A
DIAGNOSIS
By WILLIAM G. ERNST
In a mining camp in Colorado called
Jimdandy. there being no doctor, the
people lived In a state ot anxiety.
When any one got sick those about the
patient did not know what to do In
the premises, and there was no one
on whom to throw the responsibil
ity. A committee was sent over to
Hnfton. where there were two doctors.
with orders to try to persuade one ot
them to practice in Jimdandy.
Dr. Farrnecute was induced to take
a new field, especially as Dr Thorax,
the other practitioner, bothered him
by disputing his diagnosis and treat
ment in every case. If Farrnecute said
a man had typhoid fever Thorax "de
clared he had the mumps. If Farnie
cute gave a sedative Thorax sneered'
and said that be needed a stimulant.
Therefore Dr Karnieeute accepted the
new Held with the proviso that it nis
diagnosis Or treatment were ques
tioned by any one aud he shot the
objector he was not to he prosecuted.
The committee accepted the condition,
and the doctor bung out nis slnngie in
Jimdandy
There had been but bait a dozen'
cases ot illness in the towu tn a year,
though they had been worrying ones
to those who took care ot the patients
The banging out of - a doctor's sign
seemed to hare a peculiar effect on the
inhabitants. While it had not occur
red to them before that there was any
thing the matter with them, now every
person who passed the doctor's office
and read his sign felt compiled to
consult him. But woe betide auy one
who ventured to disagree with him as
to the disease from which the patient
suffered or the treatment. One morn
ing Tim Hickson was passing the doc
tor's office when Jim Ferguson came
crashing through the door, forwarded
by the toe of the doctor's DooL
"What's up, Jim?" asked Hickson.
"Why, 1 consulted the doctor for a
sore throat, and be told me the trouble
was in the stomach I suld I could eat
well enough if I could get anything
down, but I couldn't swallow, where
upon be bustled me out"
"Served you right.' said Hickson.
"The doctor ca me nere with the stipu
latiou that he was not to be disputed
professionally."
"If that's so how am I to get even
with himi"
"Well. It you want to get revenge
you'd better tackle him on some other
subject. If you insist on throat trouble
when he says your stomach's wroug
and be shoots you he's not to be pun
ished.'
Ferguson passed on. rubbing his
oruises ana trying to think of a way
to get even with the doctor. It was
evident that iu a professional wav
Farrnecute had the people of Jimdandy
with him. Iu auy fracas in that line
they would favor him, aud the result
would be U the discredit of his pa
tient. Ferguson brooded over hi
treatment, but bis throat got well. of
Itself.
One day he went back to the doc
tor's office this time he bad his gun
with him and said:
Doctor. I'm sick, i reckon I'm go
Ing to die "
'Where does the trouble He?"
Oh. I don't know l m no diaguosei
That's for you to bud out.'
I didn't mean that I want you to
tell me what's the matter with you. 1
want to know your symptoms."
'I haven't any symptoms ': -Then
you haven't any disease"
"Yes. I have." .
7he doctoi. had turned- away, ami
when be saw the patient again Fer
gusou was looking Ht him from be
hind the muzzle ot a revolver His
own gun was in h drawer Iu his med
icine case, but there-ws no opi'ortu
im fe Ay to Com
Contest Closes at 7 p m
Positively No Votes
This Fine, 5-Passenger Touring Car Will Be Won
by someone on the above date.
IT MAY BE YOU; Any Contestant That Is In The
race has a chance as a winner.
he Second
Will be given to the one making the second best showing. Just think what
you could do with $ 00.00, think of the fine vacation you could have.
If you have been discouraged. Just figure what 4 subscriptions a day will do
for you--
THEN-- GET BUSY
nity to get It it Ferguson objected!
"I've got a -frightful, disease, and I
want you to tell me what It is."
"How can I tell you without know
ing your symptoms?"
"I told you my symptoms the last
time I called on you professionally,
and you Bred me out for my pains."
"Well, I can't do anything for you."
Ferguson cocked -his weapon "kl
you don't diagnose my tvise before 1
count five." he said. "I'M make a case
for an undertaker. Une. two"-
"You are suffering from aiiiuesia."
"What's that?'
"You're forgetting yourself."
"Three" -
"Let me see your tongue "
Ferguson put out his tongue.
"I must feel your pulse."
"Not much. You'll have to find out
what's the matter with me In some
other .way."
"You will need a sedative. Excuse
me a moment aud I'll give you a hypo
dermic to quiet you.'
A little syringe was lying on a table
with other instrument's The doctor
picked It xm. Clial.it '-tf. 'Tqufd and.
ifU'T ; . f i-, . - - g.- - V-
' " " - V 1 A Y ' -
U w- &?Z r "SSm 'U
. . '. - . &-l&i2 tmggl'tt H- '""r'"
.,Jk,.....- ,gwas'i"' ' .,'."1' Z , - "
S 7 S
advancing boldly toward his patipnt
suddenly raised it and squirtpd the
contents in Ferguson's eyes. Jim drop
ped his revolver and clapped bis band.
to. his eyes.
Tim Hickson happened to e passim;
the doctor's office again anil saw .Mm
Ferguson coming out exactly the same
way as before "Jim fell on nls kneps
and, rising, groped about wildly.
"What's np. Jim?" .
"Been seeing the doctor again We've
settled It The trouble's in the eyes
I've gone blind." "
Ferguson's sight soon came back to
him. but be concluded to let the doc
tor alone.
. -
' $10 REWARD
For the arrest and conviction $
3 of any person or persons, who
unlawfully remove copies ol The
Morning Enterprise from tae
premises of subscribers after
$ paper has been placed there by 4
carrier.
Wednesday, June 5, 1912
Received After 7 p m
.r - - ' ' '
S -
O
Prize of
Riches.
1 cannot call riches better than the
baggage of virtue. The Roman word
Is better, "impedimenta." for as the
baggage is to the army so is riches to
virtue. It cannot be spared or left be
hind, but it hindretb the march. Yea.
and the care of it sometimes losetb or
disturbeth the victory Of great riches
there Is no great use except it be in the
distribution. The rest Is tint conceit
So saith Solomon: "Where -much is
there are many to consume it. And
what hath the owner Inn the sight of It
with his eyes?" H.icmi . -
Halt Troths.
Half truths are often more calumni
ous than whole falsehoods. Not a
word may be uttered, but a hall sup
pressed Innuendo, a dropped lip, an
arched eyebrow, a shrugged shoulder,
a signitica.it look, ao incredulous ex
pression of couutenauce nay. even an
emphatic aMence-"- may do the iujuri
ous work.
We try to teach but we are willing
to learn. - .
test
-
$ fl 00
MISS GLADYS MXOY
ENTERTAINS CLUB
The Mehrlecht Club was entertain
ed by Miss Gladys McCoy at her home
Monday evening, at a Bay View study
course. This was the course of study
during the winter. The subject for'
discussion was "The Early History of .
Australia," Miss Daisy Larsen; "The
Women of Australia," Miss Alma
Moore; "Home Life in Australia."
Mrs. Fred Olmsteat. Musical selec
tions were given and refreshments
were served. Roses were used artist-"
ically in the decorations.
Members attending were Miss Al
ma jyioore, Miss Mable Tooze, Miss
Eleanor Williams, Miss Florence
Moore, Miss Gladys McCoy, Miss
Daisy Larsen, Mrs. Angus Matheson,
Mrs. Fred Olmstead.
We all admire a live one, you can
pick them from the Enterprise adver
tisers. '