MORNING ENTEBPBISE, WEDNESDAY, MAY 15, 1912. A STUPID , , LAWYER Br C D. ARK WRIGHT 1 am what Is culled a shyster law yer. It isn't my fault that 1 rise no higher In my profession; it is fate. When I graduated from the law school my ambition was to be some day chief Justice of the United States. In two months I was ready to accept the at torney generalship. Then I fell in the scale to covet a fair practice. And now I am a shyster. 1 am the mean est kind of n shyster. 1 devote my time to Separating those whom God has Joined together, not the higher, but the lower classes. 1 have secured B divorce for a fee of $5. One flay a young couple came to my office to get divided. Their ages were the man nineteen, the girl eighteen. He wore a threadbare coat that indi cated he was or had been a street car conductor. "Mr. Lawyer," he said. "I suppose it costs a lot to get a divorce. We had to sell our furniture to raise the mon ey. But we got $50 for it. Here It Is." He opened a pocketbook and took out five dirty ten dollar bills. His wife stood by looking like a young thundercloud. "What's the trouble?" I asked. Both began to talk at once, each abusing the other in a disconnected way. I caught as much as 1 could of what they said, but was unable to gather the slightest cause for divorce from either. "That'll do." 1 said. "You," address ing the husband, "have treated your wife abominably. And you," to the wife, "have done a number of things you wouldn't have done had you been older and more experienced. In order to secure a divorce for you you must act harmoniously, for legally the grounds for an action on either side are very weak. You must throw off this antagonism long enough to form with me a plan for separation. I shall be busy for about an hour, and mean while 1 wish you to sit down on that sofa side by side and try to get back to the days when you were courting. Think about the first kiss, the putting on of the engagement ring 1 see on that round Soger. Then the wedding and all that. If you keep thinking about these things till I got through some other cases we can all act togeth er for a divorce." They did as i told them to do, but took seats as far apart as possible and at first it looked as though nothing would be gained. They sat thus, both bolt upright for awhile, but I kept an eye on tuein and saw that they were trying to keep their minds on what I bad indicated. In about half an hour 1 gathered up some papers and went into another room. When 1 returned half the distance between them had been eliminated. Encouraged, I hunt ed for a paper I had left on my table and went out again. When I returned the wife was wiping away tears. The husband, judging from his expression, was endeavoring to steel himself against a reconciliation. 1 left the room again, telling them that 1 would return in about fortv min utes, when I should expect them io have got rid of enough antagonism to work together and with me to secure the divorce. "I fear." 1 said to the husband, "that yon. who are the more at fault in this matter than your wife, are nourishing the bitterness in you and -will spoil it all." With this 1 made another trip and was gone an hour Then, returning, I stood at the door listening, I heard the husband saying that it had been all his fault and the wife saying that it had been all her fault, and they were calling each other "dearie" and "sweetheart" and a lot of other pet names I entered the room suddenly and found them locked in each other's arms. "Well." I said. "I've-come to a stop ping place iu other business and am now ready for you two" They anise from the sofa, and the husband said they'd been talking the matter over and if I didn't mind the disappointment they would try to get on together for awhile longer. Taking out his poi-ket IhioK. he offered to pay me what tee I asked for taking up my time, but I told him there would be' no charge I asked him if he couldn't put the money hack into his furniture, and he said he thought tie could. At any rate, he would try Before they left me I ninilethem promise that it they changed their minds and should conclude, after aii t secure u divorce they would give me the job. This they promised to do as -mine compensation for my "disappointment' .in not having been employed already, tor they were too stupid to see through the ruse that had prevented a periinineiit. breach be tween them. "It's bard on vou. Mr. Lawyer, to ex pect you were going to get a good fee and then not get it. lint you'd ought to have seen that a makeup iu order to get the divorce was the same as making up regular." "Just so. my boy." I replied. "If you come back here again for a di vorce I won't be so tarnation stupid." They never came back for a divorce, but one day a prosperous looKing young man came into my office and asked if I remembered him. 1 sa'.d I did not, j ana ne toia me tnar i wns tne lawyer who "had euchred myself out of a fee by" not moving quick enough. He added that my stupidity nad been a godsend to him. and he wanted me to come and dine with, him hud his wife I went and saw a bapov family. BE FREE TO PUBLIC The school directors, at meeting Tuesday night, decided that no ad mission fees would be charged to the High school commencement exercises this year For many years fees have been charged. The exercises will be held in the High school auditorium in stead of the Shively Theatre as here tofore. Three janitors were re-elected as follows: W. W. ' Mars, High School; Fred Erickson, Barclay School and Herman Bierman, East ham School. The janitors will re ceive $50 a month .throughout the year, and will be allowed vacations of ten days each. Teachers for the com ing year will he named by the board at a meeting next Tuesday evening. The annual school exhibition will be held Friday and Saturday of this week or the later part of next week. Cookery Notes DR. FORD TO SPEAK NF( BITHIAHS TO GIVE CONCERT TONIGHT A fine treat is in store for the mus ic loving peope of this- city this even ing at 8o'clock in the First Methodist Episcopal church. The Bithiahs have arranged a fine program comprising instrumental and vocal numbers of a high order. Some of the best talent of Oregon City, and some of the finest soloists of Portand have been engag ed. Dr. Ford assures the public that the entertainment will be of high order. How strong are you going in the support of your candidate in the En terprise automobile cTnteflt? The time to read tne Morning En terprise is at the breakfast table or a little before. When Dr. T. B. Ford opened the series of open forum discussions in the pupit of the Methodist church a few weeks ago he announced that at the close there would be no reply to anything that any speaker said, but that he would give his impressions of the addresses. The first series has closed and next Sunday evening Dr. Ford will speak on "My Impressions of the Addresses delivered in the Open Forum Pulpit," and invites all who have spoken to be present. His address will be one of great interest for he will speak with great frankness as" to necessary concessions on the part of the church and on the part of men. He believes that church of today should command the attention and support of men of modern mind and in a modern church for a modern world, a modern preach er for a modern man. One of the men who has spoken will preside Sun day evening. Luncheon JVIenu. As an introduction to a dainty lunch eon no better selection could be made I than grapefruit cocktail, an appetizing and refreshing development of this fa vorite fruit. Left over chicken meat j- can be transformed into a palatable J dish and served as a creamed hash on i toast" The new asparagus Is just as good as it looks, especially in salad form. French pastry completes ' the menu: Grapefruit Cocktails. Chicken Hash on Toast. Asparagus Tip Salad. Pastries. - Tea. One cupful of chicken meat (cold), one cupful of white sauce, half a cup ful of sweet greeu pepper," one and a fourth teaspoonfuls of onion juice, four slices of toast, trimmed and buttered. Cut the chicken in quarter inch cubes, chop the green pepper very tine, add to the chicken and cook all in the white sauce-uutil the chicken is heat ed through (use double' boileri. Ar range on the toast and serve very hot Seventeenth Century Grocers. Shopkeepers in the seventeenth cen tury were subject to other restrictions than those respecting prices. It was enacted that "any person using the trade or mystery of the grocer should not either by "themselves or any third party directly or indirectly, keep more than one shop at the same time." Gro cers were also forbidden te sell any commodities except "raysons, currants, sugar, spice, sope,. candle, molasses, gunpowder, shot, match, tar, pitch, rozen, tobacco and pipes, cotton wool, cotton yarn, starch', blueing, rise, lin seed oil, white and red lead, olives, prunes, figs, Spanish white alabaster, alum, almonds, brimstone, lampblack and candle rushes." London Globe. Scientific Marvel. Perpetual motion is easy -enough with a scandal that has once started. New York Press. Very Tiny. ' ""What a tiny foot you have! Why, you could clean your shoes with a toothbrush!" Fiiegentle P.latter. With the Cook In the Kitchen. Wafer-like slices of bread spread with caviar sprinkled with lemon juice and salt make tasty sandwiches. Banging the oven door is responsible for half the heavy bread aud cake The door should be closed very gently. For spring suppers sliced orauges aud shredded cocoanut put into a dish in alternate layers is appetizing. Macaroni prepared in any of the van ous ways in combination with cheese, butter aud tomatoes is nourishing. Shredded chocolate cocoanut. -which is bought already prepared, makes a tasty addition to different kinds ot salad. Meat loaf of chopped beet or veal can be made more moist if three or four tablespooufuls of cream are add ed just before baking. Cornstarch Pudding. Take one pint of sweet milk, the whites of. three eggs, two tablespoon fuls of sugar and a pinch of salt. ' Put the milk iu a kettle, ami when it reaches the boiling poiut add the sugar and the cornstarch, dissolved in a lit tie milk. Lastly add the whites of the eggs, whipped to a stiff froth. Beat It and let it cook a few minutes. Set two-thirds in a cool place, flavoring it with vanilla. To the remaining one third add half a cake of chocolate, softened and mashed. Put a layer of half the white pudding into the mold, over this put a layer of chocolate aud then the remainder of the white. One half a cocoanut or pineapple may be substituted for the chocolate. Grapefruit Cocktail. Cut a chilled grapefruit in halves and nvitb a thin, sharp knife remove the seeds and cut out each section of fruit and serve the pulp with the juice in dainty glasses Two teaspoon fuls of sugar and one tablespoonful of sherry may be added to each glass or either, or but h may be omitted Ah other method is to take- grapefruit juice, lemon and orange in equal pro portions. It is then sweetened to taste, flavored with maraschino and diluted just before serving with charged wa ter and served in glasses with some of the grapefruit pulp and a. maraschi no cherry. Kitchenettes. If by any chance you have to use a nice clean saucepan over a smoky fire smear it over ou the outside with just a little- grease iefore putting it on. This prevents the smoke from hurting it and if you will wash it afterward in some good suds it will be as bright as ever. One of the best ways to have a little meat go a long way is to make It into a pie aud add potatoes or any other left over vegetables, a hard boiled egg or two cut into slices and a couple of tomatoes. Serve some nice gravy with it. Japanese Rice. A Japanese cock's way of preparing boiled rice is to wash the rice carefully and put a cupful of it into two eupfuls of boiling water with a level teaspoon ful of salt. Cook the rice rapidly, and as soou as the water Is absorbed lift the cover from It, set the dish contain ing It on the back of the stove and let It steam until it is dry. This Is the way a Chinese cook always prepares the rice which he serves with chop suey. Economical Dessert. An angel cake that has been in the house for a day or two Is turned into a delectable dessert if it Is cut into slices and spread with marshmallow icing. Put the slices together and Ice the top and sides of the loaf with reg ular frosting and sprinkle the top with landied cherries, rose petals or vio lets. Surround with whipped cream which has been beaten into ice cream. JMI U I H 3W ' A J. ' '"? w Mock Cherry Pie. There is a mock cherry pie possible at this season which in flavor is an excellent counterfeit of its prototype. Mix a cupful of boiling -water with a cupful of cranberries, half a cupful of chopped raisins, a cupful of sugar, half a teaspoonful of salt, a little va nilla and thwe level tabiespoonfuls of flour. Bake hetwevn two crusts or with a strapped top WILLAMETTE SCHOOL TO BE Wilkinson & Tozier have been awarded the contract for building an addition to the Willamette school building, and the work will be com menced at once. The addition will be similar to the present building there being four new rooms added, making m all eight rooms. It is probable that there will""be several more teach ers elected during the coming year, as the population of Willamette has been largely increased. These con tractors are completing the bungalow for Harry B. Cartlidge and wife, which will be one of the most attrac tive homes in Oregon City. It is lo cated on Ninth and Washintgon streets. LOS ANGELES, May 14, (Special.) Portland , led at the end of the eighth inning today, but not at the end of the ninth. The score was 4 to 3. Raleigh pitched better ball than Koestner. The Beavers made 6 hits and Vernon 9. Vernon made 3 er rors and Portland 1. Portland scored in the second, third and sevenths Ver non made a score in the first and sec ond and 2 In the ninth. The results Tuesday follow: At Los Angeles Vernon 4, Port land 3. At Sacramento Los Angeles 5, Sacramento 4. " At San Francisco Oakland 5, San Francisco 4, (10 innings.) Pacific Coast League Standings W. L. Pet. Oakland 25 14 .641 Vernon 22 15 .595 Los Angeles -.'..20 19 .513 San Francisco 17 21 .447 Sacramento 16 22 .421 Portland ..12 21 .364 Northwest League At Portand Seattle 7, Portland 0. At Seattle Tacoma 10, Spokane 7. At Victoria Victoria 11, Vancouver National League St. Louis 6, Brooklyn 0. Chicago 2, Philadelphia 0. American League Chicago 7, Philadelphia 0. Detroit 5, New York 0. , Cleveland 3, Washington 2. Boston 6, St. Louis 5. HOTEL ARRIVALS The following are meiatoroA of tha Electric Hotel: C. H. Lane, Washing ton, jj. (j. ; Mr. and Mrs. George Cal houn, Portland; Mr. and Mrs. J. H. Wheat, Washington, D. C; A. Douthit J. W. Duncan, Portland; James At kins, A. Moore, Portland; Gus Nel son, J. J. Halligan, J .T. Scott, Rose burg Grand Hotel; T. V. Smith .Ore gon City; W. W. Hoskins city; B. Moorhead, Junction City; L. S. May or, Portland; L. R. Ebert. Sacramento Cal.; H. R. Gill, Portland; H. A. You man, Portland. FORESTER PLANS BIG SAVING OF TIMBER SALEM, Or., May 14. As the sec ond fire season since the inaugura tion of a state forestry department approaches State Forester F. A. El liott is preparing to issue a manual of instructions to fire wardens and rangers which, no doubt, will be the means of greatly facilitating the work of protecting the vast timber resources of the state this season. The manual is in the hands of the printers and will be ready for distri bution by next week. For the purpose of impressing up on the wardens the importance oL, their work, State Forester Elliof gives seven reasons why the statV" appropriates money for the protection of forests from fire. After asserting that in 1911 the state lost less tim ber by fire than during any previous years for which there is a record, yet the timber destroyed totalled approx imately 87,.000,000 feet, which, figur ed on the basis of dollars and costs, amounted to a loss to the people of the state . of more than $500,000. "The records shows that -73 per rent of these fires could havn heen avoided if care had been taken by ev erybody concerned .while only 27 per cent were reported to have started from unavoidable causes," says For ester Elliot. "This means that ap proximately $350,000 was lost to the public through carelessness. A simi lar loss would not be tolerated if it fell directly upon the fruit, agricult ural or stock industry. Why should the state be indifferent to the econ omic value of its timber industry?" Preceding this, the state forester says: "Oregon has more standing tim ber than any other state in the union, approximately 500,000,000,000 feet, when manufactured into lumber, Ore gon's timber will bring in at least $6,000,000,000 of outside money, 80 per cent of which will be spent for labor and supplies. Oregon is receiv ing $60,000 annually for lumber and timber products. The industry is developing rapidly. Oregon timber and the lumber industry pay approx mately one third of the taxes of the state. "When timber is destroyed by fire, the state loses directly the taxes which the property would yield until cut, and indirectly at least 80 per cent of its manufactured value. For every thousand feet of timber burned the owner loses the value of the stumpage, about $2, and the state the amount expended for labor and sup plies in manufacturing it into lumber, about $8. "In 1911, 842 fires were reported, of which 613, or about 73 per cent, were caused through carelessness. That a majority of these fires were the re sult of violations of the law by camp ers, hunters, railroad companies, log gers and ranchers, is beyond question. This record should show a marked improvement during the coming sea son, and it should, therefore, be the aim of every state fire warden to re duce the number of avoidable fires in his territory. The forest fire law was enacted chiefly to assist in re ducing the number of fires of tbF kind" " : V Millworker Is Sentenced Albert Hintz, a millwarker, arrest ed on a charge of intoxication by E. L. Shaw, was fined . $2.50 and given a jail sentence of fifteen days by Re corder Stipp Tuesday. Watch the automobile contest. ft 5V Working for the other fellow an J Get Busy for Yourself What can be won with a" little work a fine prie every JO days THE HUT To what people are saying and yot will see-how popular yot are THEN GET IN AND WIN Yours for the asking 7xJ? rii f i 7 ' JL 'h "r h r AS:. -- ' ' - f Cv'-:'- - - . -kASl-16' - . - i. " ------- ;- Don't it look good toyou To stimulate interest in the vonng ana rve each one a chance to profit by their work we will give a prize every ten days. These prizes will not affect .the fina1 count in any way as all votes will count on THE GRAND AUTOMOBILE These prizes will be given to the one that hands n the largest number of votes very ten days. $100 In Gold We will give $ 1 00 to the contestant who makes the second best showing. If you don't think you can win the car get in and win the $100. Just think; $100 for a few week's work in the even ing ot before wotk.