OREGON CITY, ENTERPRISE. . FRIDAY.. NOVEMBER 1, 92Z
Page Four
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OREGON CITY ENTERPRISE EDITORIAL PAGE
IIHHHIHINIHIIHIIttinillliaiHHIII
IV'"
nPPr ON CITY ENTERPRISE j
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DANGERR IN NUMBERS
TEN NATIONS boast a higher
standard of "education than Am-
-i r,n f& . in
erica. The united j
fourth nlace and believed on tne as-
pendant, has slipped to eleventh "
IUU1 tU yia-" - 7
i-oo iinrp,i to eleventh mi'
the scale of international literacy. , criminologists says, simply creatures
The figures, in an exhaustive sur-1 hereuity and environment, follow
vey cf the 1920 census, made by Oar-j natural predispositions and ae
land Powell for the American Leg"511' I qUirea habits, the law of degeneracy
reveal that Germany at that time had the Qnly Jaw of living( and
the highest literacy average in tne t snouid decav in morals and in ma
world. Next in rank come Denmark. SUDStance.
Switzerland, Holland, B inland, j.or- f eading criminologist said the
way, Sweden, Scotland, England, : men are Qnl what
Wales and France. The figures show-:
ing 5,000,000 in America wno cau . formative years Heredity de
neither read nor write are low. Air. cided what tney are and environment j
Powell declares, because the statistics ; influenceg heredity. Men have noth-1
are based upon information voluntar-1 &g tQ their heredity nor as
ily given to the census takers 'making , environment in the years of
it pasv for the illiterate to conceal , mnspmientlv they have l
nis lgnuiaiicc. j no part in maKing tnemseivea wuai
The condition is no indictment j they are They are made by others,
against the native born, for the fig- and tney live as automatons at the
tires show that the preponderance of ; dictation 0f heredity and environ
!n:.n, ioo in thp immigrant. ,.
classes. It means then, that Amer-,
ica's touted melting pot is ianing i" . There, for example, is a criminal ,
function and that the. assimilation of wllose parents were criminals. And j
the foreigner is not being accomplish-1 tnere js a criminal whose environ-1
ed. I ment was debasing. And there is a j
The trouble lies in the fact that : crimjnai whose heredity was decad
the Americanization of the foreign- ent and whose environment was cor-.
born is not a fortnight's task. It. is ruptlng. could they of their own in-!
one which requires considerable time, : itiative have changed the courses of j
otfnrt nni thA p-nvernmental and civic : 4.v,Q; u,roi niii thev have anything i
machinery for the handling of the sit- tQ gay or do inshaping their des
uation. And yet in the face of this ; tinies? Can they be held to responsi-
fact, immigrants are being aumiueu
to the country at a rate which would
prevent their education in the cus
toms and manners of the nation if
such training were possible at the
speed of a month to each person. If
this be true, how much longer must
it take to educate them in the ele
mentary branches oT knowledge?
America should like to be the par
oTif f. the -entire world. It would be
his
Hy desiarble, if a practical sys- j
tern could he formulated. to throw
open the gates of the nation to all
countries and race, anu mu tiium
come, nut tms can ue uuue . -in. a.
the peril of our none to perfect social
Ui pei n ui im iii. i.. t
fabric. The preservation of American
institutions demands not only anedu-;
cated and a straight thinking elector-;
ate bv a mass population that has
ilie otantiulity for the formulation of;
its own opinions. Without the ability;
to read and write this is impossible. ;
The only solution, since the educa-1
tion process cannot l e materially
speeded up. is the limiting of those
who are to enter. Total prohibition or
immigration is hardly desirable. There ,
are wives and husbands of a fairly j
educated class who seek admission to
thp countrv to complete the familj
group, and many other cases which ,
the law should in all justice, make pro-.
vision for, Stricter limitation, how-,
ever, of a nature to practically curb;
immigration to its lowest possible ,
.tVnm, worth attempting. i
America is faced with a grave prob-j
'em in the assimilation of those for-!
eigners already here. This must be
accomplished before "the burden of ;
numbers can be increased, else the in-
creasing ignorance of the masses men-
ace the stability of the larger group
nf Americans upon whose mutual !
- soundness the value of the present j
. (
democracy is based.
EDUCATION" AND DIVORCE
rrHE
EPISCOPALIAN session, in
X
Pendleton earlv in the week, vig
orously attacked the present divorce
evil. But there is something of a new
light in their expression that the
trouble is mainly one of. marriage
rather than divorce.
Clerical outcry during the past
years nas uccu uucucu " j
vorce itself. Separation of married j
couples has teen assanea wimoui xoie ,
realization of one 'salient human fact,
that where ueople disagree upon the
e "r.i linn l-i n m o it font 1
fundamentals of personal relation
ships, the best laws in the world can
not restore harmony.
t reswic iia.1 uiuii . (
The Episcopalians strike the key toi
im j-,3n- i 4-ViAii Hc-nlTra ij-k drill- !
the remedy in their resolve to edu- has no particular pet theories to ad
cate the youth of the nation in the j vance as the reason for it.
sanctity and the permanancy of the ! v ,
home. Marriage under the existing Dr. Stephen Wise says that Amer
laws is far too simple a process and j jca js ax in. her duty toward Europe,
the motives which foster it in many i Doesn't he now about the Fordney
nocoo a-wo Trt tlinco T" f Qn 1 1 i n F" frftm the T
rnrfiil f onsideration nf the -problems
- ' ' . ' " - - 1 i
involved and the real issues which
must later be faced.
Uniform marriage and divorce laws
are greatly to be desired. The -control
of the problem is one of national
rather than state import and should
soon be recognized as such. Yet the
situation will never change until the
viewpoint of the succeeding genera
tions is altered. Conditions today
look worse to some degree because
tonder the present system they become
more patnet than a decade ago.
Consideration of divorce must be
from the basis that a union which
lacks harmony is of little value to
society if perpetuated. Divorce then
is desirable. Only increased reverence
for the marriage bond will bring the
needed change.
THE SPOONERS' SEAT
EARLY LAST SUMMER the city
council ordered the "spooner's
seat" removed from the Seventh
street "stairs. The seat came right at
the middle curve
and would have .
fnrmfH an irioal location for the
pastime after which it is named had !
not an electric light been placed - in I
IIWUIUIIMIIIHHItlHlllMHIIIIItlHIIIHIIMMUHIinitl
front It. - The. city fathers were;
anxious to remove the seat because ;
the occupants regularly put the light'
out cf commission. !
But the light hasn't been placed In ;
repair. At least it is not operating j
now -
Probably the council intended pri-
marilv to stop the spooning. This
; mav or mav nnf be a worthy motive,
but it is doubtful if their purpose nas
been accomplished.
Probably the council Intended to
illiminate the stairway. If so, their
purpose has not been accomplished
yet.
- - -
PERSONAL. RESPONSIBILITY
THAT WOULD be your opinion of
the human family and its future
if all of us accepted the theory which
leading criminologists are now pro
pounding that there is practically no
p0unding that there is practicauy
. resT,0nsibility for thoughts,
t ideas? If we were
, ., , T,
and what they ars made
T1 thporv seems to be plausible.
hility for crime born in them, or bred
in them, or born and bred in them?
The theorists overlook the import
ant principle of ethics that there are
variations in responsibility. Each of
us is responsible for the individual
degree of strength or weakness. Some
wnrkmen are more efficient than
others, and not so much is expected j
of some. But everybody has some re-
sponsibility.
ivriir-n ctross is held for scientific
means to regulate heredity as to-im-j
prove the human race. But experience i
up tQ the preserit time shows mat
heredity is an uncertainty, as it ii j
governed, nui uy iu or l:hc ;
ations hut by thousands, and by laws j
wnich cannot be deciphered or con-j
tr0lled The only apparent means of j
governed, not by two or mree geuer-i
raising moral and physical standards :
by heredity is by general procreation, j
Environment is really the import- j
ant problem which concerns society.
Our aim should be to better living j
conditions, so that there will be less j
chance of contamination and increas-j
ed opportunities for education and j
employment. i
But is is unreasonable and humil- j
iating to say that we are made by
heredity and environment, and they,
nQj. ourseives, are masters of destiny.
t -t-
It isn't the initial cost, its the up
keep. r irst me p.i.o . , ,
to automobiles. Then it was applied;
to wives. And now a traveling sales-1
man figures that a hat costs $50
tor uie nu. j,... v
during the course of a year m tips
to get it in and out of the hotel racks,
The French scientist who says that
thp Chilean earthquake is the fore-
runner of a world wide shakeup miss
. . it. .m
ed out on two points. He doesn't-re-!
member the end of the world predict
ed two years ago and probably forgot
about the recent world war.
Financial conferences of interna-
tional scope fail for the most pai t oe- j
cause they have been based upon a j
desire to get something the other fel-!
low hasn't got and furthermore won t
give.
Two Siuuems tn u'u xaw. .
were suspended for kissing. Which j
r-oveg that it is not tne tnmg useu
. - 1 t- -.. V 1. rti Q .
which is a crime but whether one
gets caught or not.
The Tennessee woman who has at-
. - . . C - O "7 Al-k oKIit AIL'Da
tainea tne age ul piuuauij
her longevity to the fact that slie
. 1 - iVAniiaa - CX f-
tell ILL :
The mayor of Cincinatti has barred
the presentation of the farce "The
Rubicon." Evidently, the die is
chaste.
Henry Ford may, of course, be elect
ed president; he wouldn't be the first
man the flivver landed in trouble.
Columbia Record.
Our idea of eternal fitness of things
would be satisfied if the Russians
were given a mandate over the Turks.
Asheville Times.
Thirty gold coins recently discover-!
ea, Deneved to have been minted oy
Croesus, are valued at $1,000,000. How
much is that in marks?
Lenin says that the betterment of j
government through the oviet system
will startle the world. It has already.
"The Beggars Opera" is being re
vived on the London staee and in
the German streets
In England, Bonar seems to control
the Law.
HHt UIIIHHHIMM llimilHIIIINIIIIIIUI IIHMUI
Borrowed Comment.
What Editors of State and National
Papers Have to Say.
New York is sending the head of
the Longshoreman's union to Portland
to conduct the waterfront strike. If
Portland employers -hired a profess
ional strike breaker from New York
a howl could be heard from here to
Russia. Corvallis Gazette-Times.
Simmered down, the "difference be
tween capital and labor is simply
this: the fellow that has the money
has the capital, and to get it away
from him is where the labor comes in.
Amity Standard.
A lot of fellows are still writing to
the newspapers telling how it hap
pened on election day. If' that thing
keeps up much longer we won't have
a great deal to be thankful for this
year. Eugene Guard.
It may be sometimes easy for a man
to read the mind of another in a pok
er game, but it is a hard job, espec
ially in these times, to read the minds
of the people in a political campaign.
Woodburn Independent.
a ...... rstv vnnfr -mill will
All uicuu . . 1
spend two million dojlars in improve
ments. Every newspaper publisher
knows where the money comes from if
nobody comes from if nobody else
does. Eugene Guard.
Washington advices say PresiSent
Harding's views have not been chang
ed by the election results and that he
is just as "dry" as ever. A good
many other" persons can sympathize
with him. Eugene Guard.
There is to be a "national educa
tion week" in December. Quite ap
propriate to bring it in after the close
of the football season. Eugene
Guard. "
Thanksgiving will provide the usual
ample feasts, but a good many hungry
politicians are more .interested in the
distribution of pie after January 1.
Eugene Guard.
Flint Michigan women have come
out strong against petting parties. It's
a safe bet that the Michigan organiza
tion is in no danger of being tempted.
Corvallis Gazette Times.
David Lloyd George says: "I stand
with the common people." Old stuff,
Davy, that has been the .war cry of
Democratic candidates since Hector
was a pup. Oregonian.
"Missing Man Merely Went" Duck
Hunting," says an Astoria headline.
Nothing unusual about that; the av
erage fellow who goes duck hunting
is a "missing" man.-Oregonian.
If you don't believe the farmers are
getting their mad up, look at the solid
Democratic delegation from Republi
can Linn county in house and senate.
Halsey Enterprise.
Weather forecast A heavy cloud is
reported moving from the east to
ward the state capitol building. The
storm is epxectpd to break the first
of the year. Wheeler Reporter.
A full cargo of Scotch whiskey was
siink in a gale off New York the other
day. Some store in the metropolis
An,.iit t msiirn a tillinir bv putting on
a diving suit sale. Eugene Register.
When Chancellor Wirth suggested
that Germany might go into bankrupt
cy, did he forget that a bankrupt is
required to turn all of his assets over
to the court? Detroit Free Press.
Newberry and the cranberry, it ap
pears, get what's coming to them at
about the same season of the year.
Oregon Journal.
'Water is gold," says an edjotrial
tjtie. That is, except when it is milk
or, with a little color added, moon
shine. Oregon Journal.
-Bolshevism . is said to b5 ram
pant in China, but the tale doesn't
ring true. The Chinese don't wear
whiskers. Eugene Register.
The national defense act, judging
from this distance, is the act of wag
ging the tongue and moving the jaw.
Oregon Journal. '
Apparently the only real reason for
linking the bonus and beer bills is for
the sake of alliteration. Oregon Jour
nal. In this era of the automobile, about
the only use left for legs is to push
the foot agains the accelerator.
Banks Herald. .
America appears to be a country
bounded on the north by Canada and
bounded on the east by sea-going
bootleggers. Crane American.
Democrats claim that the feeling
of Europe towards the United States
is changing. Do they know a time
when it wasn't? Oregonian.
It is "getting down fine" when
blood is tranfused from one dog to
another. "Surgery is going to the bow
wows. Oregonian.
j
who has beeni
- If there's anvbodv
"dying" oftener than jazz i's fctehin.
Oregon Journal.
That barbarian" who spells it Xmas
has at last made his bold appearance
in public places. Oregon Journal.
A good job in Michigan Is not go
ing begging. A aozen want New
berry's place. Oregonian.
As an incidental source of reve
nue, why not a tax on bootleggers?
Oregonian. 4
HMtllll I
IIIIMIINIIII
The Office Cat.
"N
By Junius.
KELLY, THE FISHERMAN
He riseth up early In the morning and
and disturbeth the
v Whole household. Mighty are his
preparations.
He goeth forth full of hope.
When the day is far spent, he return
eth, smelling of -Strong
drink, and the truth is not
in him.
oo
Now the
Calisthenic movements required
In grooming the ice-pan
Are centered about
The ash pit door
Of the
. Furnace.
oo
I have just about reached the con
clusion that I would be as much of a
failure as a musical critic as a Ford
tire on a Packard wheel.
oo
A WISE BIRD
Publisher "In your story, I notice
you make the owl hoot "To Whom' in
stead of 'To Who"'.
Author "Yes. this is a Boston owl."
oo
Any man is well off who thinks he
is, even if he hasn't a penny. Mental
wealth is more lasting than dollar
wealth.
oo
RESULT OF EFFICIENT TRAINING
The detail had just arrived near the
front lines when the captain looked
around and noticed a private, hatless
and coatless.
"Where's the rest of your uniform?"
he demanded.
"Back where we came from."
"Go back and get it." .
The private vanished and later re
appeared correctly uniformed but
without his rifle.
"Where's your gun?"
"Left it back where we came from."
"Listen!" bellowed the captain.
"You're a fine soldier. What were
you in civilian life?"
"Plumber's assistant."
oo
THE BARD'S PREFERENCE
I love to list the birdlet's chirp,
The setting hen's grim cluck.
But fo a change I like to hear
The huckleberry buck. - -
oo
Judge Since Rastus is 22yand you.
Dinah, a's 55, it it is clearly a case of
Spring Marrying Autumn.
Dinah Oh, no, your Honor. IPears
to me it's mo' like the Day o' Rest
marryin' Labor Day.
oo
The optimist laughs to forget. The
pessimist forgets to laugh.
oo
ECONOMY OF PRODUCTION
"So you're keeping bees, be ye?"
asked Hiram Hoskins of his neighbor,
on the way to town.
"Yep, and I've figured out how I can
make again as much money out of 'em,
too," replied Eph Brown..
"How's that?"
"Why. I'm. going to have 'em cross
ed with lHchtnin' bugs, so that they
kin see to work at night."
oo
Pessimist (Looking at new road
ster) How many will this car hold?
Optimist Salesman Three, but six
can get in if they're well acquainted
oo
BUSY AGAIN
A busy guy is Henry Hurls
He's always picking up the girls.
But don't think he's a sporting gink
He just works at the skating rink.
oo
The man with the biggest mind can
make it up the most quickly.
oo
UNTHINKABLE
African Game Is Passing. ' Headline.
"Could they possibly, mean African
golf?"
oo
Miss Take: "Your husband has such
a lofty, commanding way! Was he
ever an officer in the army, a judge,
or head soda clerk?"
Mrs. Hap: "No, he used to be the
stamp clerk in a drug store."
on
PREPARING A PLACE
A certain O. C. minister who had
been asked by his congregation to
turn in his resignation selected as his
text for his farewell sermon, the fol
lowing: "I go to prepare a place for you, that
where I am there ye may be also."
A stranger noting the disapproval
with which the text was received by
members of the congregatjon, turned
an inquiring eye on the man sitting be
side him. He received back this an
swer, delivered in a hoarse whisper:
"He's going to be the chaplain at
the state penitentiary "
A new American song: "Bumper to
bumper and hub to hub; the cars are
so thick that their fenders rub." .
"The only working members of
Judge Johnson's family are Mrs. John
son and Jude's cider.
Joe the Ploader says a fellow can't
push himself forward much by pattin'
himself on the back.
Abie Dohen Say, I know a very
rich girl who wants to get married.
Run home, take a good bath, brush
vourself un und vou can vin her. She'll
marry you In a Jiffy.
Jakey Blume (thinking hard) Yes.
But suppose after I clean myself up
she von't marry me. den vat
' Making good saves making good ex
cuses. Oregon City Truck driver X to man
cranking flivver) "Atta boy.. That's
the way I got my start!"
Being shaved Isn't unpleasant un
less the barber discusses the state of
his nerves while trimming your Ad
am's apple.
IIHHIUtllllHIHUUIIIfllllHIIMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIUIIMIIIIIllMNUUIIIIIIIIIIMIIIIIIINI IMIIIIMIIIIIHIIIIIIMIIOUIIIIM
NittniinMiiimiiiiiiiiiNiiuuMiMiHiiHiiinn iiiiUHiitiiiiiniiuiniiNi
The Poets' Corner.
Songs and Sonnets From the Pens
of Modern Writers.
. SONG
By Frederick Faust
When the" almond trees are sweet
With blossoms pale as foam,
We'll walk together to the church
And walk together home;
Some evening when the almond bloom,
The earliest of the year,
Is falling slowly, spirit-soft.
On you and me, my dear;- "
Some
evening
when the wind is
hushed v
And both our hearts are still
For wonder that so large a world
Should hold so little ill.
"Village Street."
A WOOD PATH IN AUTUMN
By Lena M. Hall
I've waded ankle deep in moving gold.
A golden mist has all enfolded me.
I have heard rhythmic murmurs,
sounding low
he full-toned diapason of the sea.
I've walked through living flame with
out fear;
Plucked burning brands where vivid
sumacs throng.
O little birds, oto early winging south,
What wealth 0f wasted fabric for a
song! Conemtporary Verset
I MADE A LITTLE SONG
By F. O. Call
I made a little song to-day,
And then I wandered down Broadway,
And saw the strange- mad people run
l And dance about me in the sun,
i Or dive inot the Underground
Like rabbits frightened by the sound
Of their own scampering through the
grass; ,
I watched a thousand people pass,
But not a one did I heary saj-
I made a little song to-day.
I made a little song to-day.
It sang beside me all the way .
Until I reached the lower town,
Where crowds went surging up and
down.
Their eyes were hard and faces white.
But some -of them looked glad and
bright,
Because the Bulls or was it Bears?
Had brought them gold for worthless
shares ;
But I was happier than they;
I made a little song to-day.
"Acanthus And Wild Grape."
SKETCHES
By Don Marquis
A CERTAIN. CRITIC ENTERS -He
comes! the tables whisper, rustle,
stir:
Waiters grow anixous, favorites
stretch and purr.
He sits! the reverent room relaxes
then
The Age of Little Kings has come
again!
ADVICE TO A JEALOUS ACTRESS
Less thunder. Sweet, more lightning
in your storm!
Malice, to slay, must still have poise
and form.
True artists. Sweet, in such affairs as
this,
Drug with a smile and poison with a
kiss.
A CELEBRITY
Why do you hear that mien 'of mod
esty? .
You know we know you are not such
as we!
TO ANOTHER LADY
Men like the glitter of your jeweled
- wit .
Even those who know where you have
stolen it. New York ribune.
RICORDI
I By Laurence mnyon
Of a tower, of a tower, white
In the warm Italian night.
Of a tower that shines and springs
I dream, and of our delight:
Of doves, of a hundred wings
Sweeping in sound that sings
Past our faces, and" w-ide
Returning in tremulous rings:
Of a window on Arno side.
Sun-warm when the rain has dried .
On the roofs, and from far below
The clear street-cries are cried:
Of a certain court we know
And love's and sorrow's throe
In marbles of mighty limb:
And the beat of our hearts aglow:
Of water wnlspering dim
To a porphyry basin's rim;
Of flowers on a windy wall
Richly tossing, I dream.
And of white towns nestling small
Upon Apennine, with a tall
Tower in the sunset air
Sounding soft vesper-call:
And of golden morning bare
On Lucca roofs, and fair
Blue hills, and scent that shook
From blossoming chestnuts, where
Red ramparts overlook
Hot meadow and leafy nook,
And girls with laughing eyes
Beat clothes in a glittering brook:
And of magic-builded skies
Upon still lagoons; and wise
Padua's pillared street
In the cahrm of a day that dies.
Selected Poems
Headline says all golfers are invited
to see ehibxition. That's nothing!
Every time we get on the course we
make a show 04 ourself. Oregon Journal.
IIIIWMIMMWtMMM"ll"",,,",m-4,,,,W,M,MW,M,,,,,"'"M'"m,,,"M,",M
lUltHUUH
The Book Corner.
By C. E. G.
THE SOCIAL ATROCIITY
PERFECT BEHAVIOR: By Donalil
Ogden Stewart. George H. Doras
Company, New York,
x. otw! narnHiis
A UCrtJ. HID yaiuuica . ' v. i ,
When Stewart took a fall of H. G. rap for our good opinion, she has gone
Wells with his parody of that famous supremely on her way, and now she
Outline, he didn't register in Class , has quite come into her own. Go down
A. Perhaps the reason was that he j the street of a morning or a:n even
tried to be another George Ade and I ing when business buildings are-filling
failed. up or emptying and note that our
"Perfect Behavior," is better. If j Flapper has captured the mart. She
yftu don't believe it, try a sample for j jS an independent miss "to-day with
yourself. Stewart writes: j her own pay-envelope and a mind of
Introduction will play an important j her own. In her own sweet, inde
part in social intercourse, and many j pendent way, she has done what her
errors are often perpetrated by those ; mother never dared to do-she has de
ignorant of savoir faire (correct form) ' fie& the Fashions.
When introducing a young lady to a Women of society no longer set the
stranger for example, it is not au fait j styles, neither do my-lords, the fash
(correct form) to simply say, "Mr. ! jon designers of France. Our little
Roe, I want you to shake hands with ! lady Flapper knows what she wants,
my friend Dorothy." Under the rules j and buys it too, and wears it. and
of the beau monde (correct form) this ; looks so charming in it that all the
would probably be done as follows: ; rest of us meekly follow suit.
"Dorothy (or Miss Doe), shake hands j in vain do the papers and maga
with Mr. Roe." Always give the name . zines inveigh against bobbed heads
of the lady first, unless you are intro- j and short skirts. In vain do they pro
ducing some one to the President of j claim that tight bodices and ull skirts
the United" States, the Archbishop of j are coming in and that skirts are
Canterbury, a member of the nobility j about to trail the ground. In' vain do
above a baron, or a customer. The the manufacturers and shop keepers
person who is being "introduced" j try to tempt feminity with rose petal
then extends -feis (or her) right un- j gowns and hoop-skirt creations. In
gloved hand and says, "Shake." You j vain do the corsetiers plead with the
''shake" saying at the same time "It's ; mothers, "Do not let your daughter
warm (cool) for November (May)," to 1 go to the dance unprotected by a cor
which the other replies, "I'll say it is.'' set. If you do not understand, ask
This. brings up the interesting ques- your SOn."
tion of introducing two people to each Saucy little bobbed heads continue,
other, neither of whose names you anj .they have proved to the business
can remember. This" is generally world they have something in them,
done by saying very quickly to one j. Tight bodices go glimmering into the
of the parties, "Of course you know discard and the loose comortable one
Miss Unkunkunk." Say the last "unk" piece dress suits our Flapper miss
very quickly, so that it sounds like any f very well. Manuacturers may do
name from Ab to Zinc. You might i their best to change the styles and
even sneeze violently. Of course, in create a demand for new clothes. Our
nine cases out of ten, one of the two little Flapper sponges and presses or
people will at once say, "I didn't get j patches ' her gown at night and. ap
th.e name," at which you laugh, "Ha! j pears with it at the off ice until it is
Ha! Ha!" in a carefree manner sev- worn out. Then she buys a new one
eral times, saying at the same time. and wears it every day. She does not
! "Well, well so you didn't get the j care a whoop what the magazines say
' name you didn't get the name well, j jS style. She and her pals pick out
well." If "the man still persists in j what they like, "and look gorgeous in
! wishing to know who it is to whom he j t regardless of the styles. They
: is being introduced, the best procedure j make the styles.
; consists in simply braining him on the . The result is that all our clothes
' spot with a club or convenient slab of! must be comfortable and must wear
paving stone. ' well and stand the strain of every
Where you have no mutual friend! day. We must be able to do things in
I the introduction can generally be ar- them and look well w-hile we are at it.
i ranged as follows: j There will be fewer clothes hanging
' Procure a few feet of manila rope i m 'closets to get out o style, and fur
or clothes-line, from any of the better- thermore, . clothes are no longer go
i class hardware stores. Ascertain jng s0 promptly out -o style. It is the
i (from the Social Register, preferably) ! lament of the clothes furnishers that
! the location of the young lady's resi-1 we .-do not have' to buy new clothes
j c.ence, and go there on some dark eve-1 now to keep up with the styles.
ning about nine o'clock. Fasten the 1 Everything goes. We may have
' rope across the sidewalk in front of . long sleeves, short sleeves, wide
! the residence about six inches or a sleeves, tight sleeves, or no sleeves at
foot from the ground. Then, with the. an jt is the same with -blouses and
aid of a match andjsome kerosene, set j skirts. They may be either close fit
fire to the young lady's house iu sev- j ting or loose, wide or narrow. And
i eral places and retire behind a con- j most remarkable of all, when the
venicnt tree. .After some time, if she : clothiers thought they had us. by de
l is at home, she 'will probably be fore- j creeing long dresses, and we would
; .ed to run out of her house to avoid ; all have to buy new gowns to have
1-eing burned to death. In her excite-- them the proper length, already the
ment she will fail to notice the rope w-ord is coming rom Paris that skirts
: which you have stretched across the will not grow longer after all, but
: sidewalk and will fall. . This is your have already turned the otlfer way
; opportunity to obtain an introduction. ; anj are coming back to shorter.
Stepping up to her and touching your , Hooray for the little Flapper she
hat politely, you say, ii a well-molu- has made our country "the land of
latcd voice, "I beg your -par Jo a. Miss i fhe brave and the home of the free."
: Doe, hut I cannot help noticing tnat ! , ,
you aie lying prone on the sidewalk.";
! If she is well-bred, she will not at first j
speak to. you, as you are a perfect j
be vour cue to once .more 'tip; ve made artificial s for the last
I vour Lt and remark, "I realize. Miss decade but very httle of , wa made
boe that I have not had the honor of I this side of the ocean until tne var
'an 'introduction, but you will admit ut off our European supply.
an intrcu.ui.iuj, u L " During the war, artificial silk was
tli at vou ar lvmg prone on tne side- " a
. tnat jou ar. i. pro . demand and several factories,
i walk Here is my card and nere is . ... . ,
; ,t ' m.lhpr.. At were started in this country. The
; one for Mrs. Doe your mo. her. At gre artiflclal silk will
; that you should hand her two . plain p i vaiuable commodity and
i eneraved calling cards, each contain- jjiuvc juu-- . -
;f 5 a r.oc. i, ihoroiliave a wonderful future. It is the
ing your naiuc aim emvuoo. n ,.ii.
I are any other ladies in her family
; aunts, grandmothers etccetera-it is ; .w. tor its
i"rreCt.t1!.CLfUut as it is being perfected, it will
tie sure mat i"e i., . ,
! the name on the calling card is gen
I erally sufficient for identification pur-
poses without the addition of the
i thumb-print.
I .... , - ca
j nen sue nas ati.cKru -"'
- . '
she will give you one of hers, after
i which it will be perfectly correct for
i you to assist her to rise from the de -
rval Do not. however press yow a
tentions further. upon her at this time,
I but after expressing the proper regret
over her-misfortune it would be wea
to bow and retire.
i . Artificial silk may now be d:s-
' A ,NEW HISTORY OF ORE30N. - tinguished from natural silk by .its
I " "History of Oregon", by Charles higher luster and by its harsher, stiff
i Hensy Carey, will be ready for de'.iv- er feel.
' erv this autumn. The subscribers'
j edition" will be delivered to advance
i subscribers about October 1st. It cbn
; sists of three large S volumes issued
. by Pioneer Historical Publishing Com
I pany, Chicago, Illinois, of which the
1 first volume is the history proper,
I , . , j J ,1. mod
' ana tne sccoun suu. muu iuium.u
mm ill u , . ,
contain biographies. It is . under stood
i that Mr. Carey has had nothing to do
iWLth,Jht blStrtP h?
; whtch he has not been consulted The
! price of this -edition is $40.00 at Chi -
i separate one volume edition call-
1 V, Kinthnr'i! VA i tn ai-Vi i -'Vi will
include the historical matter only.
J will ibe on sale about November 1, j
1922, at the J. K. Gill Company book I
! store at Portland, at $7 50. This will i
V. . J t.'.l 1 1 : 1 vmlLWIA
ue luvuLiii Willi t,iie in at iuiuukj vi
j the Subscribers- Edition, and will con-
' tain numerous illustrations and maps,
with appendix and index, over one
thousand pages large 8 to., cloth.
Twenty thousand dollars stolen
from a Michigan postoffice. Some
body must just have bought stamps
for his Chrisamts cards. Oregon
Journal.
linUHHIIIINIHIIHIHIIIUNIIIHUUIIIIHimillHIIIIIUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHinilH
The Woman's Column.
By Florence Rlddick-Boys.
WOMEN NO LONGER SLAVES OF
FASHION
We have laughed at the Flapper and
taken her lightly, but she laughs best
! -v, lantrha last. - Without caring a
ARTIFICIAL SILK
The various countries of
lurope
poor' man's silk.
doubtless come to supplant somewhat
natural silk for regular "silk" gar
ments." As yet, it cannot compete
with natural silk. The threads are too
coarse, and too large,- and it ha
: noifhar otrnp-th nnr f1fiRtiritv pr.nnsrh.
...,, t o
j 2
: doQuX is overcoming
thege may t lh9
ramlnt
tell the artificial from the natural silk
except by the use of the microscope' or
by chemical means. -
BOBBED HAIR
Thevliave been saying for some
time, that bobbed hair was going? out
of style, and the fashions are full of
directions about how to hide the fact
, , , , . , .
that you have bobbed hair, and poke-
t J
favorable for the flappers who
'a letting their bobbed hair grow.
&
j disturbyed Her uttle bobbed head
right on bobbing It is cleanly
and convenient and she likes it. Nuf
WOMAN-I-TORIALS
Ktalth workers by the thousand
a rv abroad n the land, tea-l-'se
h-aib to the i.c-i-ple the.'-f Ant'
still there are not enough. Preven-
' tive medicine, in which health work-
ers will be largely teachers, is just
beginning to be appreciated, ten
years from now there will be twice
as many health workers and only hah"
as much poor health. This is an ap
nealine line of work and one which
I has a future.