8 OREGON CITY ENTERPRISE, FRIDAY, 8EPTEMBER 20, 1907. UTERES IE ! You arc Cordially invited to at tend a Free ILLUSTRATED LECTURE On tho Development nnd Prog ress of tho TELEPHONE SINCE ITS INVENTION BY ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL THIRTY YEARS AGO Illustrated With 140 Views Pertaining to Telephone Mat tors in All Tarts of the Country. Lecture by V. K. MERRILL of the Pacific Telephone ani Telegraph Company Tuesday, Sept. 24, at S p. m. Willamette Hall, Oregon City An Instructive, Interesting and .. Entertaining Hour Is .. Promised You I her !! FREE! FREE! i I ; I MIL Ul I U A Bunch of Divorces. Judge McBride handed down fifteen Acwraa rt rlivnm In his rilllrt Satlir- I day. They were: Edna E. Meyers vs. j E. S. Movers. Mabel S. Patton vs. Roy i F. Patton. Edith Borger vs. Charles L. Berger. Frances F. Ross vs. John E. Ross, William O. Wilmer vs. L. Delia Wilmer, Lena M. Nelson vs. Andrew Nelson. Maude Cameron vs. McLeod jsition. she thinks, ought to entitle her Cameron, Mary Janz vs. Frederich U separation, and so asks for it. Janz, Lulu B. Park vs. Ambrose Park. Zelma A. Borgman is al -o tired of Orpha Pendergrass vs. Albert Pender- th wlich John Borgman leads jrrass, Willburg F. Brock vs. Ella , her and wants separation. Alleges Brock, Fannie Halloway vs. Harry G. cnie! treatment, drunkeness, etc. Halloway. Dora A. Scott vs. S. T. The will of the late Jonas .1. Kauft Scott, Mary L. Roberts vs. John C. jnian. a wealthy farmer of Needy, who Roberts, Emma Lundeen vs. C. Lun-;died July 13, 1007. was admitted to deen. ! probate Monday. Kauffnian left . .. ......... , in me iasi case me piainim auegeu .. . .... . . mat sne marnea winaeen at boaer- r. 1 o cco 1 nam, Bweuen, jjecemuer wsj, auu that her husband was guilty of deser- Orders of default were entered in .Bonner vs. the Crown-Columbia Pulp the suits of William Lawrence vs. Lib ;& PaP('r Company, Judge McBride or lian Lawrence, and Minnie Harris vs 'dered the case transferred from the Abe A. Harris. The case of Eben JClackamas County Circuit Court to Grant vs. E!la Grant was dismissed. ; the United States District Court In The court made a record 'in the suit Portland for trial, of Edea E. Wagner vs. E. G. Warner, j Jennie A. Johns fi'ed a suit for di- who were married in Portland. Feb ruary 2, lf07. The complaint was filed on Saturday, personal service of summons v.-as obtained on the defen dant, and the default and decree wre entered S'xin after. Mrs. Wagner al leged that he husband was insanely Jealous, and that he abused her and tK'reater.pd to kill her and her friends, Four Want Knot Cut. Sadie II. Kilmer and Arthur K. Kil mer were nnrrie-.l June 2-1. lfto, r River Falls, Wis., and she alleges thai: ce is a habHual drunkard and that he possesses a violent and quarrelsome disposition. Mrs. Kilmer ays that In March, Ifx'.j, in a fit of drunken rae, Kilmer tlrasged her from h"r tfd, and forcibly ejected tK-r from her fc'uise into the snow and rsin. On Bovera! occasion!' Kilmer took l.rT money, according to the wife's story. Constance 'Adeline Chpnan and Oscar L. Chapman wer? married No vember 21, I'S'i, at HaTibT, O.. and J'rs. Chapman charg"-i her husband with deserting her in September, l!)'ij. They have one soi. Ob-n. ageri 10 years, now under the care and cus tody of his mother. Desertion is cl irged by Julia K. Moore, who was married in Baker City, September 14. ISM" to Harry Liv ingstone Moore. She says he left her July 6, 1303, less tfian one year after in tnP County Court, and Walter Ke their marriage, and she desires to re- i12 was Tuesday appointed adminls Kume her maiden "name of Brisco. trator. The property is valued at. $123. All Fence Wires, Nails, and Farm Tools SOLD Herbert Plaits was married to Mary Platts at Salem, In May, IstOS, and al leges that his wife deserted hint Sep tember 1, l!0tl. Mrs. Genini Win First Round. Tone Genini secured tho presence of his little daughter Sophia in court on ; Saturday on a writ of habeas corpus. I bavins asked tho court to give blm possession of tho child. This Judge iMcllrido refused to do; tho child was i . .... .... I given into tno ousto.ty ot ner granu 'parents Monday, Mr. and Mrs. F. M. I Mai hews, of Mucksburg. Oeilinl makes I iifily charges against the character of; his wife while she in turn sues for 'divorce and fills her allegations with 'stories not to tho credit of her has- baud. There was a temiMrary lull on I Wednesday, when tho attorneys of Tonv Genini and Mrs. Elina U Ceninl , istipulated that tho child should re- main in tho care of Mr. and Mrs. F. m. Mathews, her maternal urumipar jents, at Maeksburg, until the disposi tion of tho suit for divorce proceed ings instituted by Mrs. (lenlni Against husband and now pending is de cided. Want Right-cf-Way. ! The Peavorton & Willsburg Rail- - road Company has filed a suit nsninst J. O. Story and wife and Joseph M. o'Hart for tho condemnation of a right of wav between Hoavorton and Wills. burg. embracing H acres 200 f In a strip ot wide. ; 21S2.3 feet Umg and The company alleges that tho damages of the defendants will not exceed $2000. Notes Carrie M. Tilbury wants a divorce from Chas. E. Tilbury. She alleges . thnf sho hni tw(ln f.irri'it f,i mmp ' , , , . , : times in four and a half years and 'tninKs mat s me limit. utner 111 (treatment added to the moving propo-! olvn..t "ftftr.O irnrtt, f .nnl w-, . 1 ii ,.,ti.n ,.f ni.... r 1 ui.. f - .... .. ... , 'aetata la In lit il!v,.!3jl Aminllv n.,tir - "ius ;h!s 12 children. I Tn the Riilt for rt.imni-p nf Atieha.! 1 orce aiainst Robert Johns Saturday afternoon. They were married in j Portland, October 2n, lfoii, and at the time of tVdr marrias. according t ) ; Jlrs. Johns, s-he wa.a widow and sup ported herself and two daughters by 'keeping Inwders. She alleges that ;nf'r husband contributed only a trifle j towards the maintenance of the fam-j ny, ana sne u sires to resume tier ; 'ormer nam e' Mrs. Jennie Stephens. At a sp-r.!in of the Police Court on . Tuesday afternoon Fred Smith, ar- ! r"-ted on a chariri of carrying con-' c ak-d wcap ins, plead' d guilty and . received a ntence of 20 days. He is a straoser. Nettie 01s"n has instituted suit in the Circuit Court a?ain.-t Mary Jane Torrence et al., to quiet the title to in rf.res of land in the Lot Whlteomb elriin. The r.ili of tb late Jonas .1. Kauff man, wd diod tit N''dy. July 13, lfio;, was aim'tt'..! to prr.'.ntn Monilay. At torney II. F,. Cros r.-ii). for the executors. The vain of the real prop erty, con.-iKting of 2fi:j acres of land in Section 01, T. i S.. It. 1 E., is $20,000, ami deceased V- several thousand dollars' worth of personal property. The estate is to be divided equally among the 12 children, i The estate of the late Ferdinand Sch'i'.tz has b( n admitted to probate 1 o; STATE NEWS. Henry 11. Stewart Is a new post tints- 'or at Myrtle Point, this state. Attempts are being nutiie to estuh - "'"I' coiidenserles at Newborg tiud , Springfield. It Is reported that tho exhibit of I stock at the district fair at Uosclnnsj, 1 this year was far ahead of anything) nny '"'r l tJnit place hereto- o for, "Wo had occasion to transact some F. A. Kosor. brooder of pure bred j business In Oregon City one day tills Berkshire at Rickorall, has a htmrjwock. and while there we nnw some pig five months old that weighs r7.' jthliu; that shocked us very much. Wo pouuds and Is tho largest for Its tipo entered n building to get something tu yet reported on this Coast. jdrlnk (It happened to bo soda that Salem's business men's league- bnsjtluie. when wo heard u gentleman resolution demanding a low- ''-lK of tho gas rate in that city. The rate now charged is 12 rtVr l.ooo feot. iproprioior asreeti m u. we muni and a cut to $1 Is linked. ' stay to see who won wo were so shook- 5 V. It. Newell, of Polk county, says od. Now If this had boon la Mliwau Oregon fruit erfells because nature ,klo w hero people don't know any hot has rIvou tho stale a soil containing tor wo would not have thought tiny- the necessary plant food and cliiuato thing of It, but In ii Christian (?) city gothor some capital, and by uiireiult i without extremes. iwhoro all Is supposed to bo douo Just i ting effort thin had been doubled and Miss Wava Harrington, who has been tho ctiest of the Misses Craco aiui .Mayme Itabetn-k. left this mornlnc i(r ju.r home in Oregon City. Capitol (journal. Salem, jolin Satza- n frllu,r residing seven i miles southeast of Albany, sustained serious injuries In a runaway Satur- j day. His jawbone was broken, one iarm i,iuly B1,rained nnd his face badly j : out. ' Tho effect of Irrigation In tho West Ihnn var.l m.r All,-ni. U lw.l,, ,lm.,n. : . - -." -',., ... .v ... 10. jstrated as. picking progresses. The yard is yielding about double what it I"1""1"11 ",sl """""n. auu me increase Is attributed to tho Irrigation " I Mr. C. W. Joohnke, of Oregon Cltv.ii: I who has been visiting friends and theiQ"ecn fair, has returned to his home. Mrs. Jwhnke Is tho guest of Miss Llla Swafford, of East Salem. Capitol Journal, Salcni. 1 Sheriff Chrlsman, of The Dalles, ar rested Clyde Cribbins. a boy 13 years old for stealing a horse at Lexington. Morrow county. The boy ntole a horso from a Mr. Barrett, ami rode the ani mal to Rock Creek, fill miles distant, u'hoi-n Cf.t.1 l f.m tin ...1. " " - I "!. WO H U W W . 1 I O : fii .-,,, iluny -"0. Th h J widow of Congressman Tongue, six miles north of Hillsboro was burned M,A - 1 ..- .1 ... i 1 T f,t.ruili H'il Uttn His". .IS I Tongue came near being severely j burned as her clothiifg ignited w hile she was trying to save Rome of the ' house. j J. F. Adams, a Tule Lake farmer j won the prize bull at the National Ir 'rlgation Congress by making tho best 1 exhibits of the products of a single irrigated farm. This prize went to lAdams from the California commit too ; which offered the bull, California '. Promot ion Boy, bo the man who show ed b"st what an irrigator! farm could do. , Citiz-'iis of Eastern Oregon are won dering why they cannot engage cars for shipment of slabwitod from Port land, when the O. It. & N. I hauling ernrity wheat cars Into that territory day aftir day right past the Western Oregon sawmills. For some reason fhe railroad has been practically re- ry t0 place tJiem under tlie nearest slid fusing to furnish cars for slahwood tor. The nearest sin Iter Is of eouro tfor Walla Walla, Pondl-ton, Ib-ppner the littio piles of twigs, ami under each and lone. 1 The car situation in Polk county Is deplorable. Every mil! in Falls City and Black Itock has closed down. anil, now the Willamette Valley Lumber Co.'s hi;r plant In Dallas has stopped i!-; wheels until reli"f comes. The 1 - Dallas Lumber Co.'s mill has been Idle ! n Cold Gtorcga. for several weeks. All these mills are j An Oregon attorney, representing a receiving orders., at profitable rates, client whose title to 11 certain cold stor but are unable to get cars. Dallas , age plant was under fire, closed nn Observer 'able argument before the Oregon wi- : Suit to romnol the Southern Pad-! Iri"'e c,")1't w1"' ,h" '',1K 't fic Company to sell a . tract of 100 acres, situated in Columbia enmity ami ,ncM,""! lrl Ul'' rallr"a" ,an" rnnt' !was fll''!l ln th! I'0'1''' Court Mori- nay. 1 ne piaintirr is John s. Snyier, of Columbia county, and tho defen- dants are the Oregon & California Stoves, Carpets, Chairs, at REDUCED PRICES. Railroad Coinpn: tho t'nlun Trust Comptui.v. S. T. (iago, N. T. Smith and jV. K. llrown. trustees, they being tho i holders of a trust mortgage on the ; laud. Snyder filed on the land July :;u, lust, and nulMoquoiitly tendered the .nlli - ond company $100' lu, payment fur tho quarter section, Tho offer wan re- fused, and Snyder now KCeliS to on- force tho nalo. - WOUND STILL HURTS. Apropo the closing of the Mllwuu- '.Mo Club tho lteo says: propose to tho proprietor to shako ;dlro w Kh him for tho treats, and the rly.ht, wo wanted some place to hide cur bhodios." HnU With Tempers. I There are l;.;t i ulth tempers, as ov- i cry wotnau Is n ware-tho hats that i't on' ln'MUtfullv inn. lnv ifoi m-ol'. , ,,. lia, ,,,,, 'Vl, i.-.r,.,.,. .i,,.,. ,-,. 1,0111-101 ..! uiii. h h, the next refuse o asumo the right pose ami i.i o for love or money. i'i!unv '"'' conditions more trylnu M" O' UKI I. . . IT l!IO HUH Of II lllll H dimple-" -ere. T'ie only thhiij to U done i 1 r,. tt i- 'ii' (. v 11 i,-,m,L' .ip Mi, ! ,,,, ,. ,,. . .,.,.,,, from i(H ..vore:- fiko a iiMiithtv child. One can 11 I 1k""!1 " ! not u.!:" v.i;a a luit atul snuu : 11 I . ivcu;.im.Midod. London 1 He L'rx'frstood. I l'o ju b-o l. i-6 personal ilppenr- was a-.- loiprepusHissIng as his h Uu vie ;e was profound 11 ml his !!i,'eiii o ke -u lutei rupii'd a female A .1111 k'.i! Illte W it lie .s: "U01 .'a:;: J on What lo ".! io'T-.i tr.' ly g, d that'" woman: said he uteruly. "Well, my lord." rvd'ol the woman, "I don't know h.ov t 1 explain It exact 1. t.,,- if .. ,.'1 . ,::..! f i,.i..iui,,,. . 1,, iniv 0 .1 11 .i,.. , "ii ., 'nini, .. ...... 1 1,,. ...... 1.1 1 ... 1 1 Hil 111 I, .1 I .III' H ! I 1 llUllll'llh j ping yo i." - I.e ......i Tit hits. j Wd' irj tj R'k It. Mr. V::.n -icdy : A noletl phy s'.i ! n : 'ia' 1! :.!!;. baeterlil lurk In In";'; .( '. !! i".r'.v I'lseaes, es P"i hil'y - ;!'.;!' ' ;, nvo ttpri'iul that way. Mrs. Wli-:- svv. en us! (i!v( me ti.l (on ' , 1' l,.'oii vaeeliuited, ou !.-i- v. . - , I,!.. r..,i.!i!,i Imiuircr. The Ants' f,'LS eoliM' Ej3 Trde. In the malu Ants' es come In the main from Kussla. They are the best f'tod obtain ablo for gohlfi-ili and canaries and other cage birds thrive on them wonderfully. They cost about .";) cents a pint. In the forests of southern Lu-ski ant nests abound. The Luskin og; hunter does .t.. 1.:.. tt....i;..., tl. ...... '11,, liui lej ion 1111 1 nun uiiii iin-ie. u- makes the p ior mils do it for him. Se- 1 iccung u 1101, sunny nay, me ursi 1111111 freet.s littio piles of twigs, 11 dozen or more or tueiu, near tiio iniikest colo nies, and then he klrl.s open all the nests in the neighborhood. The nuts know that their o'g. thus exposed to the sun, would be made sterile In a few hours, anil they take tlu-iu no and hur- of these! there are soon heaped the c.-gs from a hundred nests. Tin- egg linaler after a smoke and a nap has nothing to do but gather up his spoil iimt dump It In his sack. He ships the eggs in hun dredweight bugs all over the world. New Orleans Times Iietiioeraf. Iinujos: jour iioikuh, mere in 111010 , IL'ni INK J'MU ii'irtiwu 1 ii'i 11 iiit.T cold fctora.;e phmt. A liiiinan life Is at ; stake. My client's life's efforts are la this cold storage: his llfeblood Is !:i Uiis colli .storage; ins iiooy mai 10111 are wrapped up tu this cold storafj" Law N"U'. 6! 6: 0 9 Oi l OREGON CITY I OREGON I CORTHELL'S II HEALTH CURE. ! T 1- Hy w. r. DKYAN , v vi'j i itiiiiu, 'J u. nun mho. ,i ivVVVVV.'i'1..'irti ! l .L.l.t.l Hut1 1... t, U..I..IOV.. Cortholl strode along briskly. Tho clear morning air, the bright sunlight mid tho fertile fields bordering on t In road wero ail a source of delight to til in. ' Nut In years had ho enjoyed a meal as much us lie had tho homely break fast provided at tho little eoiiuiry ho tel where ho hud put up tlio night ,o foro and where he had left tho trunk that hold his city clothe. Now In a well worn milt ho was t riimpl iitf along tho dusty road Willi much tho miiiiio feeling us that enjoytsl by a boy who jdayn hookey from school for tho tlrst tune. In yearn Corthell had not felt Justl lled In taking n vacation. Finally I through a conihluntlon of clrcuni i alum-ex ho hud been alilo to get to- iremeti uuu iuo roriuuo unit imuio iiiui prominent In the money markcl Thou caiiio the breakdown. The fa mous Hpei-lallsi In nervous dlseasi. Insisted upon 11 vacation. "1 I'm either a few week;' vacation or year In nil liisauo asylum," ho nald Idtintly, "You know Inst whleli you want. Mako jour own clinlci-." In tho end t'ortlicll hiol capitulated mid had nuggeslril Newport tlx tlm pliu-o for 11 vacation. Tho Hpcehillrit rek'arded U I tu with disgust. "1 think I should have mivimI time by Bending you to tho asylum Ilrt," lie aid. lie wax paid $'25 for a consulta tion 11 lid could afford to nay what lio 'leased. "You get 11 n ohl Miiit and a i comfortable pair of hIioo and take n walking tour. Mou't go to nny placo where you are liable to meet frleiidn. j I know Just the route. I will send you . a road map.'' j I llo luiwed Corthell out. Three tlayit I later tho broker wus net tbnvii lu a ; tiny hamlet In the northera part tf ! tho dtitt j, ami thin wa tho first day of tils trip. ; I lie had stopped to watch Homo men ; I linylng, hen one of them t amo to j ward him. , j "Looking for a Job?" ho demanded. , Corthell laughisl. "I don't know that i I Jf.ii." ho answered. "I wan going 1 , farther on "I'll give a dollar and 11 half a day to drive one of tho rakes," he offered. "Know how to drive?" t'ortliell smlli-d. HI team of bay hail tt do7.cn blue rlbboiut to their credit. "1 can drive Home," he admitted. . "Jump up ami drive that rake then," was tho man's curt answer, and, to t, j j IH U 1 t : j j, I HL'I'l'OHi: I HIIAM, III'. TIIIIHI Oil llYTIIH l:Nii 1V TIIK Wlil;K," hAU) 111:, 1 , , H surprise, Corthell found himself climbing the fence mid moving toward tho horsu ruUe, It seemed ages since ho had per formed similar services 011 his falher'a farm. The bony horso ho wan driving bore little resemblance to his own prize winners, but ho derived more real pleasure from the task than had ever come from 11 spin along tlm boule vard, llo was surprised at the flight of time when the horn blew for dinner. He wan still more surprised at tho appetite he' had for the porlc and pota toes that formed the menu. Ho ac cepted two helpings nnd still had room for u generous cut of tho green applo pie. In the afternoon he was expected to Qneip illicit 1110. sweet Hcenieu nay upon I tlm iii'f I Tu woi'triwl until tlm Diiiu. cles of Ids back were sore mid Hinart- Q ; trig, but gavo no sign of his dlstj-ess, oniy wonted away wiin ciiiieneii iceiii. When at Inst the men knocked olf and tho final load starled to tho hnrn Im heaved 11 High of relief. Most of the men were from nearby farms, and these were paid off and started for (heir own homes. . Corthell was the last of tho line, and the farm er paused. "I won't take anything off for the time before you came," lie said, "Want to stay on till hnyln's over?" Curl hell nodded, "I guess I will," he agreed. "Work (teems to agree Willi me." "Como on up to supper," ordered tho farmer. "I gtft-Hs mother can fix you tip Willi u place over Ihe wood i hed." CoiLhel) followed his grim ei iployor ! Wi hs - 4 l ' ': H.f ' 1 w i,7;imm$i ' nil efi'orU tm the part of tho shipper itnd the hU men woic futile. They drll'led ami drifted until It booiiino u norleun inddem, Wlml wan to tm tlono and who was to do Iff lty HiIh tlmo (lie launch had drifted Itilo a eovu about a mll from laud, and after luuclt dlHi'UHHloli Leigh voluideered to nwllil to tin laud and K t lieli, The olhern, ' Ifl,,,wln ll" w,m faiaeua nwlu r, ngreeii id inn piau, ami without; iiiurii delay ho was overboard ami with huig, nloaily strokes was covering the dis tance. When ho tlually reached tho Hlmro ho roiled iiwlflo, nnd (lieu nturt ' cd to walk toward 11 luindHoino wl deiiro lit the (op of the cliff. Suddenly from the IuihIii-h near him caiuo 11 clear Hnprumi voice, Ilgli ' Ml opped lllld lli-lened and looked. Not far from whore ho nud there wan n lltllo rustic Mummer house, and leaning ! ngaliiNt the side of It was n young girl ! dn-Mseil nil In white, lie crept it lltllo nearer to make ipilio mire that bo wim not ilreaiulng, no near thai, a the girl j Ntopped Hinging, ho breathed heavy j nigh, and Leigh could hear it. llo longed for a nlghl of her face nnd won . ilereit If it Were half 11 it ttweet us the I voice ho bad heard, mid ho made hriiv to creep a lltllo nearer. The ruMlo of I the luisbeH made her turn, and ncelng him nho cried; ! "Leigh-Mr, tllchards! Is It really . you'" f I "It U really Leigh Uh haidH, MIm Ap pletoli. nnd I lipdogl.e for mnrllliig 1 )oil so. but I was climbing up tho .HIT ' nnd heard your voice, o noppe to IU 1 ten. 1 am 011 an errand of mercy ami . perhaps you can help inn out." "An errand of nun y. In a bathing ' unit! Why. I do lud unite iinderMuud. j Where Is tho ret.t of your party':" Leigh noon cxiliilucd to her tho plight of tho buys, mil llnlhhe.1 by miylng, "Your father tllsllkfn 1110 that I expect If ho klenMt w lio'n III ; tlm party he'll never let one of his men to go to our help. Will lie?' l lH,,,,r ',M ", r T" , ! ""V'1 '",r,,,,,, "' J",,f' ' V ?' "Father has irout, o r to tho and onr men are on Hie ground dolnu nothing, one of them can take our little laiiio h out Hint tow your In " "That'H nsklug nluiiiitt too iiiiu h. but If you could direct mo to hoiiio other place" "Don't nny that to me after what you did butt year. Do you think I have forgotten how you nnvitl my llfo when I was drow ning In that trvm her ons hike? Why tl !! you go away with out ever giving mo 11 ihaiieo to thank you?" ".Minn Applet.ui L'dltl) 1 didn't know J011 wanted to tin vt lie nlny. nny, anyway, your father had no into for 1110, Ho wan right enough, too, at the time, but I'm a nteady obi sh!l tmw, tl urest. If you will only under tuko to guide me," "I didn't know I thought you didn't care," nhe murmured. ."Dllii't tare -why. darling, that day that I hehl your Unties form In my arms wan the happlei-t moment In my lltilo life. I looked lit J our white faee mid knew Jut how uiieb yt Were to Inc. I couldn't tell J oil no then, dear, 1:0 I went wn until 1 could. Wl'l you have me now, Ldlth?" T-olg' nr. I've Us-ii waiting for you a whole lo'i-j eiir, twelve w holn mouths, nnd t-.o h month . enu d 11 year, I, t io, have been yum-n rwr nhiee that dip' joii held mo In your arms. How much longer nnr-.t wo wait '" - "Jiift long enough for re to g.-t rid Of the l.oJS all l t'.ll'l h"'.(. l loilo-s " "I-el's go to the boys .. ;et!n r, Leigh. Mini tell them-, for. you e, If Ihe old hiuueli had hot l. ik n. iji.v, n. I w ould have been Walling Jet." Ths Usual Tin.-.e, "Here, now-: h :t lii g g ul ib In all this rumpus nbo-itV" .demanded Aver ago ( 'Itb-.eii, thrusting his le-a l out of a HCeond story window nf bit domicile nnd glaring liidign.iiiily down at the disturber below, "Who r,i. Jou, and why In the name of ihe bird with tho broad nnd sweeping wing are you try ing to break Into my Inm ,c';" ' J am Opportunity, knocking at your door," was I ho reply. "Mndiy descend tit once and admit lue liefoie It U ever lastingly too lute. am In great basic, lis, tle:plte my host olTortn, am run ning far behind my sehednie." "Well, then, glide along, rolling your hoop and disposing of your War Cries," somewhat Kiircastirally answered Av erage Citizen, "Vou will tm vp to get Join-self Idenlllled before jou can tlo any business with me. I Imve been led to believe Unit yon iiiu;.t bear a mark ed reseinlilanee to a page advertise ment in a Sunday new spaper nnd lililko u noise like 11 11 Investment which in KUaranteed to pay a dividend of -It) per cent In the near future. Possibly you are all that you claim to be, but you look more llliu havd work to me," Puck. Fat Womnn's Human Lever. She was unusually fat, ho xtout In fact (lint when alio prepared to drop Into tho heller part of two sontn In tho crosHtown car the two women who wero on either nlde of the n e slit; was going to fill to repletion crowded awny from her an far an they could. Ami when a woman will make room for nnntlicr In a street car it In plain there is something the mat lor. Sho puffed and panted for several minutes after sho had become seated, niulvhon tho car had gone 11 few blocks It was apparent Unit she Wauled to get up and leave. The si niggle wan 11 hard one nnd, as It proved, 1111 Impossible 0110 lhriiigh her own efforts. There chanced to be a mini stnndlnn In front of her, mid wllhoiil a word she reach ed up. caught his arm and deliberately lulled Viwlf out of tho sent. Tho man looked at her with an expression of pain on his face nnd, apparently un couscloim of the amusement on the faces of tho other passengers, Htood rubbing his iirm and idarlng lifter the fat woman 11s long nsiho wan hi night. Nj;w York Press.