onrcaoN city enterprise, Friday, august 2, 1901. 7 omc'' Hilck itott o ,o we" alit" .nolle"' .uliv ol it "11 wort tllBO ! ,rder ' Ml. I limb, llirmi 1 , , Anil "' Bad bWoh Anil UiIiIii( rlillilrr m, Ami In hf I'1 I'l'w imiIkiimhI lM ulli'i lllllp l A M allll atlllml III' lllllt Nkim mI l'iti'l l" ' Anil hi ll fcr di in.) i4 Ami ni'lt "I !''' ww't Ami I'll !' '"'k (in win In hlryUiul. Ill r warm Hal ! rf?ul, Tfuittfliit o'f hull tml ilUl, III llitr lli ut llil A II l Uut T1 Mil wl'l-M Mnilltili HIiMI .lHikll ol Itwll I III. A Iml U !""!. l,u aw Ui the Ur ), An'l rw.lwl .- four Hl" imt tj In in iml n. Ui.. lull !. I i'ilf till, (t.uM ' I I' - IUnll l'l'niU Hf"A.t la Ollllaf't, ALLAH AN DAM ERICA. A r"'" l-M A Ik fraa lor1 lill I sarla. Iii vrln, a morning after tU vi-r-liilu Itml Ih'vii particularly rlgurutia. I paid puiiirMilMg tmmllc alxiut getting lrk I" il' country. Au Armenian liu rtird Uttnf comfort III (), cuiuo nr.vnimnry heard It and iiillnl. living nil Armenian, ho haled tliu IVmlaiia. nrotial'ljr. Incidentally ll,o vrinii reciprocate. Will, lM Armenian, rulilitiitf lila J,ainU and bead BkBWvd over cm i.tm side, said; '""" JTln have ,trtu tot verythlna;. Tli7 l" , (rml fur what you Mid Jut now. It U Hil: "Allah-that I God-on- tatd to tit ank'rl. 'I UI b world wtilcb I tnade.' "And Allah ami tho angel dcacend d lurUlMo In t cloud to tlta earth, and tl nrt plar at which they r rird waa r"raiitttiiBl t. In Keren gtilitaii. And titer they BW tlio rail roads, and Ida tramways, and ttio the ater.' and Oto great picture gallerlca. And Allah lixiki-d lit i1l(iKiliitiiiriit and aM: 'AU. no I Ttila la mt Ilia wurtd wUU-n I maun. I uiadv tiono of tlire tlilne-' "Ho llirjr jounirynl to IliBli-kUlail that l. Knliid and tluro pr iui(Uj t' It) tlx liarlM.ra and bug 111IIU blli makv all BoM ot ttilnga and fxl In t'U'iitr- And again Allab ii.l: 'Alt, no! TliU t tint llio World lilb I made.' And prjflT thrjr trT.I..I In lli rloud Allah liMiknl lilU tlir Iniid and oaI1. 'No; till li Mot It' "At U(. Ill ilnialr, III augrl li-d tb y to I'rmla, and Allab al lilm-lf diiwii ni-'ii a trrjr Msli mountain, and. Iklng far on evrrjr aide, lie m l !irr railpiad nor irinaya nor tlir Uri nor (ili iuro gntli-rli-a nor lil nor niill riur -tiiMiltiouM- nor (ilciit to rat. "And Allab aald: 'Ye, at laL I'lil la tha world wlilrli I made Not ft thing la rhangnt Th riil wbom I ut Ui r liato dona nothing.' M "Why didn't ho rumo to Ainrrlt ar I ar. "Sir," anawrrrd tba Armenian. "In I'mta thry hnd but even hrard of AnirrUV-llarixT'a Wprkly. Aa OI4 9W Jrtf arolli. Tim imntl of today would think hla c M.riuiililia very grrnt If bo could tD t!i acliiMil r-iulMin-nl of htinilirl yraraagn. A Morrla county (N. J.) v'hool of that xrlod la thua di-acrllMtl In au old h iii-r f nit of It atti'iulanta: Tlu hiiltdliii; w aa cuiutrtictrd of log, and Inairad of glan for wlndowa, ahcriMiklna wrrw alrvlrltttl over tb aM-ntiri'i niad ly tawing off an otra tloiial log. Tli Window bad olio Un-rit - tlii-y prevented puiilla from lilng ltiurriiiiil In their atudy ly liot una going on outldv ' Tho llino b rigiilatrd ly an hoiirgla, and tho iii;iil drank water from a tutu Mir nudtf of a cow'a born or from a grunnd khi-ll. lu illo of theno dlfferplicea of cHllv nieut. tho aclioota of a century ago rv x iulili il ttiimo of tixtny In one uotnhlo r-ii-t they bnd for tho uit l'rt llm mine crent literary work that arc tho BiiimhinU of our Inugungo now. Tho Ki.'iiir.t llterntur la fortunately tlio iKimmnniuii of uiuny ceiiturlea. Nat Halo, Ho hnd been trying all evnln2 ta Diuko a gMKl lmiirclon. Ilo bad told 'l hl hiinioroua atorlca and bad given otio liniiuNNluued. aiM-ecb from "Cyra no." htit wiu aal 111 uncoiiHcloua. Tbli'k BklntuMl, bo fulled to nvrcelvo all her 'ffurta to get rid of bliu. IMnully thero ' a deep Hlli'ticc. Fidgeting, ho Krew nervoiia and cnt about for aoine thing to any. I'o you wear tbnt rt of collar aa a nT' ho atamiiR.red foollably. "No." tho hunghty Uiuld reldled frig Mir: "na a cotlnr." Tlitiii ho flcd.-Now York Tljnca. lp Oplalon of CompllmonU. "No," anld Minn Cayeimo, "I don't fn) for pouplo who continually pay coniilin,.nt, ""lit It ahowa an amlablo disposi tion." IVrhnna. lint lm linlilt n.inlnila mo "'it Niunii peoplo nr willing to pay ""'y w hnt coma thorn nothing and what ' don't ronlly owo'-Wnablngton i"tar. n ( tha Wrong Tim. Employer tr. nixtlnk rnn in off Ftorduy afternoon under tlio plea of f'clg 111. I mw you afterward irolng rncoa, nnd you didn't appear to ,e "t all 1111 well Clurk-Y,,1 r, " "BU v W lilt V v w U!r tho aocond ntco, air. I woa bad -kii inen.-TIt-IJitii. 't Is folly to flMiitiinf In nliinan AVflPV. KM'y' It inilllura ut In ulil,.h rilroA. ; n a mini fnoea bo tiiUHt ot necessity lr" hlH bllrk fin linlf lm nff.l.l T!lil. "o Nowa. Tlio u . ufc n uuvj iiivnunua nun l" UtillRlty, Ht SLEPT IN SECURITY. Tka Tuala Nmall II of ,d fow Ilia Woalt Kllaa. Thero U a 5 -nr i.ll boy lu Mnan I'litmella Bveiinii ulu. U i.t il... 1. 1.., ..I lllllrlolM. Ilia iri'iin,lr,.ll.... ...... l i. ..n. I ' . M T. I, - . IMIU. Hie Meilcnii nnd civil wiira, nud bla fa ther waa alao a Boldler, coimeijueiitly llm lltllo fellow tma lienrd inm li "llig" lulk lu 14m abort II fu mid him enilied Idena of Mm proieeilvo iimllilca. Ilo waa llm Imhy of llm futility till very re cently and occupied a crib bed In bla inother'B room, When tho new Imhy iiiiiie, llnrold wan put to Bleep In a room adjoining hla inother'a, nud na bo bad never alept nhmo beforo bla ainnll BOIll W'BB filled Willi linincleNB fear whh b bo wna loo proud to ti ll In full. "It'a nilghiy loiii'noino In here, miliu ms." bu culled tlio llmt night after ha bnd been lurked In bla llttlu wblto bed. "Jut remember llm augela aro iiear you and caring fur you," replied innin tna from tho outer room. "Hut, inniiiiiiii," ho objected, "I ain't ac'iualuted wlili any augela, and I'd bn Beared of t bein If they enmo hmtllng round, humid aa 1 would o( any other at ranger." ".Now, Harold, you inilxt go to aleep quietly. Nothing will hurt you." "Can't 1 haw tha gaa lighted lu berr "No; mamma doean't think It uveca aary, and It la not healthy." Thero waa bIIi iko for noma time, and then thv Biuall volro piped up agalu. "), mamina!" "Yea, dear." "May I have grandpa' fiagT "Why, what for J I want you to go right to Bleep." "l'eao, tuainiuar and a amotl night gowned tig lira appeared at tha door. "Jubi let ma Btl.k tha flag up at tho bead of tny bed, and then I'll go right to Bleep, tildecd I Will! You klloW tho other ulght grandpa Bald at tho meet ing that 'uuder the protecting fulda of tho flag tha weakeat Would ba nafe,' and 1 feel mighty weak, mamma." Ha got tho flag, and when bla mother hxiked Iii on hint an hour later bo waa fail aaleep, with a fat llttla flt under bla red cheek, holding fat tho end of tho "protecting" flag. W'aahlngton Htar. JES'COMMONOLE MISERY." Wkr Mafa Baalr llvrl. Taal Ha HUa'l llata I'aralr!. The xy'a nania I Itufu. and he wa butlly eiigogi-d lu ollhliig tho doctor" bIiim while b wa lHlng ahaveti. A hi ciintotn, th diM tur aald, "How aro you feeling. ItuftiaT "I ain't mm It. Kindly Mihly, Umnk you, doctab," anawerrd tbe boy. "What'B the uiaiterr "I'anilyal." "Whatr "Faralyil." Had tbe doctor Hot beet) ao Well ac quainted w lib tba negro rare, bo might have allowed hlumvlf to ahow aitonlth nieut A It wa. he determined to ac what would rvault from further In qulrlea. "Wbcre'B your ptvralyiUT" be akel kindly. Itufua wa drawing a rag awlftly arro the h-ft ahoo. "In the right hip. doctab," ba au ewered. "If probably rbeuniatlim." ugget ed tha ph) lclan. "No, ln.les). It' paralyal. I reckon I know rhetimatUiii and I know paralyala. Till la auttetily paralyila." Tho doctor drew a good led plu from the lnn of bla coat "WelL Uufua." bo aald acrlounly, "thero la only ono way to tell Coma hero. I'm going to Jab thl pin In your hip. If It hurt, then you have rheu inatUm. If you don't feel It. then you are right, and you have pnralyal." The Ixiy did not rle, but draw tho rag thoughtfully nrroM tho ahoc FInnlly he auld: "liiKtnli, I reikoii you mua' know more nlHiut them thing than I do. 1 know It alu't nothlu but Jc' common do mliM'ry." Kamut City Star. What forlr I'olva Make. A gixxl atory la told about a certain profeaor w hoao bunlueit It waa to lec ture, to a number of aludet t on aur veylng. Pnrlug olio of tho lecture, tho profeMor anld that In hi opinion tho polo wa of little or no value. To tho antonlnlitnent of thoao preNeiit a PoIIhIi geiitletnnn nrono and, after accunlng tho profeor of Inaiiltlng hi country men, demanded nil aHilogy, Tho profeor thereupon explalued that tho polo to which ho referred vn merely a term of tiicnaureuicnt Tho Pol lull gentleman, aeclug hi mistake, Baked tho professor to forglvo hi ap parent rudencB. To thla tho profoHor amartly rcpllwl: "You could not bo rude, air, even If you tried, for It take 40 polui to uiaka oue rood!" Qalla Fit. "Mr. Upner," aald tho prosecuting at torney, "thl la an action In wblcU tho pluJntiff aeeka to recover damagca for alleged tujuric received at tlio bund of Wblto Copa. Havo you heard any thing about trh tao1" "No, air," replied tho talesman. "We'll toko blm, your honor." "Mr. Upner," aaked tho attorney for tho defense "do you know what a wbltecnp' lr "Ye, air. It'a a wavo that's got foam on top of It" "W'o'll tnko him, your honor." Chica go Tribune. Hard tuck. DttBhnway-MlBa I'lnkerly told mo tho other day that her doctor had put her on a meager diet nnd I thought It would bo JiiBt tho time to ask her out to luncheon. Clovcrton And did sho accept? "Did ahel Well, I ahould any ao. Rho Informed me that thero wn ono day lu tho week thnt ho allowed her to eat anything ebo pleased." -Detroit Freo Press, THE ACT OF A HERO. Ila laalvhod , Oal of a Tool ! MaltfH Malal, Tnreo men enmo vp carrying a long Iron Bhnft. whleli bnd been cut In two, bo Hint mi Iron ring could bo luertcd between tho two halve. An empty cruelhlu a foot wldu uud deep bung In tint ring. Tim forward end of tho llo held a croMMhnr, limiting It, a It were, a hugii T. Two men held thu T part of llm pole; tho third grimpcd tho rear Hid. 'i'ha criicllilu hung between. Tho remainder of tho molten metal front the itildroii wna tipped Into olio cruci ble, and the men trotted off with It, tha two In front with atralued ftu'ea, tho mail behind driving tlieiu coinplncent ly, tho oddeat team lu tho world. Ilo Bteered them throiiKli a doorwny, and they emptied their crucible Into a biiiiiII mold. A they went they kept Btep In an iiuimual luiiutier. ItiNtend of atep ping out right foot with right foot tha left man' right b g and tho right iiinn'a left bg wut forward together, knea with kiiec, foot with fijnt V aked why. "That." aald our guld. "I to prevent tlieui from tripping. If they ahould full, you know, that metal would pour over them." "(if courao audi a thing never bap- JM-Iiedr "Ye, It did ouee. Ono of tha men went down. Tho other Jumped clear, but tho fellow on the floor wam lu It" "Horrible! Of rour bo died Inalaut ly. !or inauT' "No; tha foreman of tha carrying gang, taking lu tha altuatlon, mada aeveral terrific bap for blm. jumped right Into tho middle of It, picked blm up and threw him out of It bodily. Then he Jumped clear blinoelf, wttb tho atuff dropping from bit ahoc. They both went to tha honpluL but they aro all right now. Heroic, waan't It? Ily tho way, that'a him, the fore man, JIri II., over there now. He I I allll I.M.Iilntf afl.,r llw..n f..ll.. " Wa looked over to where a big mus cular fellow wa directing a gang of men manipulating molteu metal. II wa Dot tlu figured, and bo did uot look ! Ilk a hero, but thereafter the grime! 1 that covered blm ceu.cd noblo ludced. t and bo would not aay a word of hi j feat When we aouifht to talk with him ! ",K'ut " J" probably never want for a Job aa long aa Maid wlu'a I working From an Article on tho Haldwln locoiuotlva Work to Frank Ielle' Fopular Monthly. ONLY AN OLD SONG. Bat irate IB. Carloaltf at 1 "O early court recoru coubibi largely a fork row. of action brought for Blander and sa lt wa only a oug, and an old one at i Mu't- H recordwl that a man was that, but It came tienr causing a block ! arrested for catling an official a "anap on tho Itroadway aurfuce lino the other! pertje," another wa put In Jail, charg dy. Tho singer wa a black aa the ' 1 with having called bla neighbor a coal lu tbe cart be wa driving, but j "dick bccMc" and allll another waa that fart coat no shadow on bis eiubcr-jctapM Into Jail for having called a ant spirits. Aa be awung hla chariot ' certain ofllclnl a "bloodsucker.". Some from Broadway Into Cortlnodt street of the old IiAch recorda make Interest bo ralael bis voice. Then the trouble . Ing reading. t.gtm. 1 And the court meted out Justice Id all When tho note of "Old Black Joe" these cases with a regard for common rang out blgb and clear above tbe din , sense and a dlKrcgard for statute law of traffic, expressions of blank amaw- rm.iif (iv.mnn-ad tho faces of the bur - rylng pedcstrlaua who thronged tho penalties m be cited: sidewalks. Neck were craned lu a! The village tavern keeper and a con vain search for the location of aome . teutlou woman both appeared before newly patented phonograph. Crowd , Uie court, asking Justice. They bad collected and gazed vacautly upon the ; quarreled. The woman had accused the air. a If they cxjccted to locate the j lnukeeHr of watering bla brandy, and sound In aome office window; tennis bo In turn had applied an opprobrious were drawn up until a long line of trucks extended up C'ortlandt street to Broadway, barring arcesa to tho atrect thnt their driver might ascertain tbe cnuoo of the crowd's curiosity. Sud denly a newslmy cried: "Ah. mlilH-r! Imntcher see It's only do nigger a slnglnT" Tho crowd laughed. Tho darky, now lustily holding forth on "The Suwannee Itlver." turned ahnrply Into Church street, totnlly oblivious to tbe excite ment he had caused. The crowd then dlscrwcd. and the long lino of wagons began to move once more. "Well." exelnlined a Jenieyman on hi way to the ferry. "New Yorkers call country people curious, but" He shrugged his shoulders and passed on. -New York Mall nud Express. Treasures of tho While lloaae. There are doubtless In every large city In tho country larger and more val uable collections of bric-n brac and art furniture than that to bo found In tho private aparttneuta of tho executive mansion, but It I a question whetiier there Ib In the length and breadth of the hind any other half so Interesting. Itnrlty I. of course, a universal charac teristic of the artistic gems scattered through tho homo of tho presidents, but better than thnt Is tho fact that al most every piece I fraught with mem ories and associations that make It a prised possession. Of the wholo num ber probably half are tho gifts of kings and rulers, tokens of appreciation from friendly nations, nnd the remainder, having been fashioned especially for tho White House, bare no duplicates anywhere else In tho world. Woman's Home Companion. Verr Like a. Scandal. "This dollar thnt I hold In my band," ho said, "reminds mo of a deep, dark, scandulous secret" "Oh, George!" his wlfo exclaimed, dropping her hands In her lap and beudlug forward eagerly, "tell mo about It" "Yes," he went on, "It reminds mo of a secret of that kind, because It's so hard to keep." And then she refused to speak to him for three hours. Chicago Tiroes-Herald. It's Withholding That Costs. ! Diner Come, tell mo straight Is It any real advantngo to a mnn who gives you a tip? Truthful Walter ITonestly, I can't say that It Is, but It Is apt to go hard with tho gentleman that doesn't tip mo. Boston Transcript THE EXPERT'8 THEORY, It Waa Too larlanlva aa4 Waka4 Mint Hilar, On of tho older member of the JtaU tJrnuro bnr tell thin nneedoto of li Into Hevern Teni klo Wnlll a 111 untrat Ing llm cleveriieiia and Burcaatn of Mr. Wullla: Mr. Wnlll wiin defending tho wll of a weulihy toaintor, ami, a tho lawyer any, when the cutiilu U birgo a lawyer will wrcatlo wltft a will with a wllL" A proiiilniiit plij-nlHiin wnn cnlled to tiNtify for tlioMt conteBtliig the will. Tim doctor iH-cnme rent leu under tho lengthy nnd exluiiintlve cron exainlna tlou of .Mr. Wnlll, and finally bo petu hiniljf em lulmed: "Oh, Mr. Wnlll. I believe tho teata lor wna Inmiue!" Mr. Wullla kept hi temin r and aald Jtiletly: "Inx tor, you are tho flrat jxr kjii who tin ever Intimated In or out lit court that the teNtutor win liiHano. Why do you any bo wn Inaane?" "I believe." the doctor replied, "that every man I mora or lea ItiaaDa op Borno one Btibjcct." "I It your dillbcrnto profelonal I opinion, .Mr. wnlll then nuked, "eg. ipreed hero In court under oath, that : every man la mora or lea Inaane on BotllC BIlliJectT" "Yea," the doctor replied; "I will aay hero under ontb that from my rending, knowlcdiro and cxM-rlenee I believe i Unit every tunii la more or lea Inaane ; on )lli0 one aubject." I Then Mr. Wnlll nld In thnt fjno tone of n na hid for which be wna not-1 cd, "Iioctor. hn It ever occurred to you that you are luaune on the aubject of InannltyT' Immediately the doctor fired tip and eiclnluied, "tut. Mr. Wall!, I am not Inaniie!" Mr. Wallla arooe and aald: "Doctor, according to your own aworn theory, you miit be Inxnne on aome aubject I pronounce you Inaane on tbe aubject of lnnnlly." Court, Jury and apectator laughed aloud, and nothing more wa a1d alwut the tcetator Udng Inaane. Baltimore Hun. OLD DUTCH WERE CHOLERIC - . Tfcef railed Earn otaer "aaaayert Jra," aad !: M'oraa. What a contentious crowd tbe In habitant of thu village, then known a Urcutkclcu, now part of Brooklyn, was! The early record are filled with rejMirt of Inqulrlc Into the cause of rioting and disturbance of tbe peace. 1 1 that one cannot help but admire. One 1 Instance of curious adjustment of epithet to the woman. The court after bearing tho evidence adjudged both to bo guilty. With rare discrimination In making the punishment fit the crime the man was fined 0 gulden and tbe woman, who had Impugned the quality of the brandy, was Quod 20 gulden. With hundreds of times the popula tion today, the courts of Brooklyn do not have one-tenth the slander or as sault coses that they had some 200 years ago, and, as for a riot there has not been, oue of any magnitude even threatened lu more thou a score of years. Brooklyn Eagle. A Taae l.laeola Woald Not Taka. All clients knew that with "Old Abo" as their lawyer, they would win their case If It was fair; If not that it was a waste of time to take It to him. After listening some time ono day to a would be client's statement with bis eyes on the celling, he swuug suddenly round lu his chair and exclaimed: "Well, you have a pretty good case In techulcal law, but a pretty bad one tn canity and Justice. You'll have to , get Jonlo otnor fdlow t0 w!n tula cnse for you. I couldn't do It All tbe time, whllo standing talking to that Jury, I'd be thinking, 'Llucolu, you're a liar,' and I believe I should forget myself and say It out loud." Success. Too Commoaptaea. Little Jack Oh, mother, I do lore cakel It'a awful nlco. Mother (reprovingly) You should not say you "love" cuke say "like." Do not say "awful" say "very." Do not say "nice" say "good." And, by tbe way, the word "oh" should be omitted. Now, my dear, repeat the sentence cor rectly. Jack I like cake. It's very good. Mother That's better. Jack (with an air of disgust) It Bounds as If I was only talking 'bout bread. Loudon Tit-Lilts. A Change. "Do you think people In the next world will follow the same occupa tions they do here?" asked the gossip ing lady. "No," said the churchman; "every body will attend to his own business there." Syracuse Standard. To have a perfect stomach a man or a woman must dint well and breakfast and sup simply. Ladles' Home Jour nal Instead of buying an article you do not need of an agent pay what you owe. Atchison Globe. IAKK OFOkEOCMCITT, Oldszt Mn I'M !i lit Cl!f. f H ap cpiti, w,om. Burplu., riaiiT, . caitti a. rtrriikk, ri';i rkiaibiaf, ao. a. ma. !. - a. a CAtfiiLD. 4 larl hanklnt biidnMi trn(!t4. IHiIkmim mrif iuboi io stiact. 4.prT4 Mill 4 uoiii1loouuud. Ouuut; al cltj rrant bouihl. Uo m vl n Tllttl aurltf. Iirlnin wuhtul ol'l. Col.cllim mU (iriimptlf. Of .luxill avlli,l In tui part of th world lolnrnptila trlin(i iillon Portland, Baa rriiclMo.':hlc(aaii4 Ktw York. itmt patJ oa lfn, dopotlu. 'tUI COMMERCIAL AKg or okeoo trrr. aplUl, ..... 1100,001) Imiii mull. Hill 4l:oiiutd. Mik ml count, hart ad Mil xohtni on all poluta a th United Huui, Europ and l(m( Kona. D-(xli rled in .): t to oback. itauK d torn a. a. tot r. a. '. C. LATOL'klTTg, Prldnt. v f. 1. MCVER CMklor. YOUR RTppOflglBILlTi ENDS AND OURS BEGINS When you buy goods at our store, for our guaran tee goes with every pur chase, whetfier it costs little or much. Complete stock of Gro ceries, fresh Bread, Buns, Cakes, etc., always in stock. You leave your order; we do the rest. HEINZ. & CO. Mnlai Lie. PORTLAND TO THE DALLES By the fast and com modious steamer Regulator Leaves Portland daily except Sunday at 7 a. m. This is the Great Scenic Route. All tourist admit that the scenery on the Middle Columbia is not ex celled for beauty and grandeur in the United States. Full informs tion by addressing or calling on J. S. BOOTH. Agent, Tel. 914. Portland, Or Office and wharf, foot of Oak St. E. I. SIAS DEALER IN Watches, Clocks, Jewelry and spectacles. All kinds of repairing neatly done and warranted. ootolllce Illtlff. Corn by, Orrgon Rupture and Tiles Cured without operation or detentio from business Ml. 0. E. WATTS Room 14, McKay Bldg. 3rd & Stark Sts, PORTLAND, OREGON. Hours a to 4 and 7 to 8 P. M. Tfca Lltateaant'a Brotkcr. It may not be generally known that It Is considered a serious offense for a German soldier, no matter what may be his rank, to appear In public except In uniform, even though ho be on fur lough. Tho army regulations strictly enjoin that he must always wear bis uniform. A certain Lieutenant Schmidt, who was engaged In some lively adventure or other, dressed up as a civilian and was having altogether an enjoyable- time until, on turning a corner, be un expectedly met his colonel. Tbe lieutenant did not, however, lose hla presence of mind. He pretended that he had never seen his colonel be fore and In a changed voice asked: "Can you tell me, sir, where Lieuten ant Schmidt lives? I am his brothel from the country and am paying him a little visit, but I happen just now to have lost my way." The colonel quietly gave the desired Information, and Lieutenant Schmidt, congratulating himself on his lucky es cape, hurried home and pnt on his uni form with all possible speed. lie thought, of course, that he bad taken In his superior officer, but such an idea was rudely dispelled when on the next day he met his colonel, and the latter said: "Lieutenant Schmidt, If your brother from tho country pays you another vis it I'll have him placed in close confine ment for 30 days.' DAILY EXCEPT SUNDAY TO SALEM AND INDEPENDENCE 8TKAMEK8 ' ALTONA AND POMONA LAvr oh soon city Going up, 8;00 a. M. Going down 2. 30 rat SUNDAY TO OREGON CITY ONLY, 0BBO0 (ITT rOBTUSO 0;.V)A.M. BMW A. If. 1:00 P.M. ' U:0f) 4;0U 2:.T0P. U. 7:00 :.T0 Str. LEONA. Pour round trip every day. Leavr Orgon City at 7 and 10 a m, 1 30 arid 4 30 p m leaves Portland 8 30 and 11 30 a ra ; 330 and 0 p m 25 cents round trip, ' J Tims Casd V. C. & 0. II. II. ItAVf PORTLAND (Couch St.) UAVg OREGON CITY T-oo a. M. r45 8:jo 95 io:oo lo:4S 11:30 I:i5 r. at. IXO 1:43 t.y 4W 445 5:30 6:1s 7 7-45 8:30 only to MUsraukle 10:30 Ilof only to Milwaukie 7:05 A. K. 7:50 35 9:30 10:05 10:50 11:35 13:20 r. M l5 1:50 a:35 3:30 4:05 4:50 $-15 6: jo 75 7:50 8:: ao only tn UilwanU 9:5 10:30 11:40$ only to JlilwsukU 11:50 Sat only Except Saturdays, then only to Mil waukie. fExcept Stturday, then to Oregon City. JEqcept Saturdays. JTo Milwaukie only. Astoria & Columbia River Railroad Co. DAILY TRAINS. JT jD'ly Enectlva D'ly Sal. I JulyU, 1'jOl r.BT. ! A.M. a.X. Mr Ml .BT. 9 40) 8 35 M 2i 8 CO 7 ft 7 4l 73 7 2 7 17 7K U 4S 6 32 8 2U 6 10) 6 to, S 00 I.v Portland .Aril KM 3 V 3 47 8 OA 9 06 Gobi . S 20 8 IS ... Rainier 8 3 9 .V . . rvratiii.l 10 u 9.VJ 9 .V 4 0J 4 V, 8 44 40j.... Mayaer 9 .To! 1.1! 8 SO 9 5... Qutucy .. latskania 9 M 4 2-.t 8M10 0JI... 9 1 JJ 9 14 10 1M.. Marshland 9 v: 4 til l!l 10 21 ....Wwlporl . 4 5Tl 9 37 lOSS.... Clifton .. 8 ft. 8 37 5 17;10 bD u ftp ... Knappa.. 3 21 10 04 11 10 .... 8veutn . 4 S 10 2011 22; . ...John Day . 8 i; 8 U 7 5N 5 M10 9i II :Ar.. Aon .Lr Hil SEASIDE DIVISION 1130a.m. A t ... .. 7 40 a. na .. 4 OOp.n . .10 35 a. m .. 5 JOp. o ..12 30 p. n .. 7 20 p. n .. 1 30 p. .. 9 30 a. n U 3.5 p.m .. ! ASTORIA 3 .). m... f 8 15 a. m... J 8 15. m. ... . SEASIDE 9 4oa. ni. '. CONNECTIONS. All trains make close connection! at Gobi with all northern Pacific trains to or Iron tb East or bound Point. At Portland wiui all trains leavinc union Depot. Ac Aatona with I. K t V Co.' boats ami rail line, and titeamer T. J. Potter, to and (mm Ilwico ami North Beach Poinu. Ticket othce, Z" Morrison at., and Union depot. J. C. MaYO, Gen. Pas. Agt. Astoria, Ur FOR CLATSKAN1E Steamer G. W. Sharer, LEAVES Portland foot of Washington street Tues days and Thursdays at 5 p. m., tor Clata kanie and way landings- Sundays to Oak point. Returning, leaves Clatskanie Wednes day and Thursdays at 4 p. m., tide per mitting. This is the nearest and most direct route to the great Nehalem valley. Shaver Transportation Co EAST AND SOUTH -VIA- SOUTHERN PACIFIC COMPANY. Shasta Route. Trains leav Ore eon City for Portland and wav station at7:00A.M., 9:22A.M. aud 6:30 P. M. Lv Portland 8:30 am 8:00 r Lv Oregon City 9:'J2am 9:14 ric Ar Ashland 12:55 K 12:35 rat " Sacramento 5:10pm 8 :00a " San f rancisoo 7:45 r m 8:15 a at " Ogden 4:5.'5aM 7:00 a K " Denver 9:80 A M 9:15 PM " Kansas City 7 :25 a m 7 :25 a m : " Chicago 7:42 A M 8:30 m "Los Angeles 2:00 pm 8:05 r "ElPaso 0:00 pm fl.OOpar " Fort Worth 6::0am 6:30 am " City of Mexico 11 :30 a m 11 :30 a at ' Houston 7 :00 a M 7 :00 a k "New Orleans 6:30 pm 6:30 pi "Washington 6:42 am 6:42 A K "NewYora 12:10 PM 12:10 pm Pullman and Tourist cars on both trains. Chair car Sacramento to OjMen and El Paso, and tourist car to Chicago, St. Louis, New Orleans and Washington. Connection at 8an Francisco with several steamship llr.ss lor Honolulu, Japan, China, Philippines, Central and South America. See agent at Oregon City station or ad dress O. U. MARKHAM, O. P. A., Portland, Oregon.