8
OREGON CITY, ENTERPRISE, FRIDAY. JUNE 24, 1898.
1TH OF JULY I
To be celebrated
AT :
'.I v
OREGON CITY:
Best Oi'SLtoMcail TTsLleiit!
Band of
THE RETIRED BURGLAR.
Am Impediment Placed la a Pursuer's
Way That Uflpd loatrad of Hindering.
"When I saw the gate at the top of
the stairs," said tbe retired burglar,
"of course I knew there was young chil
dren in the house. It was pat there to
keep 'em from fulling down stairs. It
was low, I guess about two feet and a
half high, aud it "twang when closed
xrom me posi it me top ox ue stairs
cross to a strip nailed to the wail op
posite. "I noticed this gate when I went up,
particular, because a nan in my bosi
nesa notices everything, and because I
thought that this would be a bandy
thing to shot in case anybody anonia
get after me in the house; that shutting
that gate in front of 'em might Btop 'em
long eoouglj to let me get away comfort
able. It wasn't more'n a year before I
. tiad a chance to try it
-"There was a long hall on the second
floor : of this house, with this stairway
pretty near at the front end of it I
"TT ouriu vj m iwui aJ a hid vur
er end, and while I was looking around
thvTe I upset something on the bureau
and woke up a man in tbe bed,
4,4 Well,' he says, 'what's the matter
now? - And I didn't wait to bear any ,
more. I didn't even turn the light on j
film. I didn't need to. Yon could tell I
all yon wanted to know about him by i
bis voice. He was a resolute, abjebodied
citizen that I could hear getting oat of
bed. - " -
"I made a break for tbe door and
bji iu muug tun van, ijuunjug uij
light and catching sight of that gate
gain and smiling to myself as I saw
it, J swung it around shot after me as I
passed and went on down the stairs,
leaving tbe man np stairs coming along
tbe hall overhead with a rash.
.'"But it's all right' I says to my
self; 'the gate'll stop him long enough
for me to get out easy.' But, by snakes,
it didn't stop him at alL On tbe con
trary, it helped ' him. Just as I was
stepping down from the last step on to
tbe floor of the hall below the man.fell
.on my back. Be'd been coming along
tbe hall above so fast that be couldn't
stop himself, and be full over the gate,
turned a summerset In the air on tbe
staircase and came down a heap faster 'n
I did and landed on me. Instead of
breaking bis own back be pretty near
broke mine.
" We rolled over and over on the floor
in the ball, tbe man laughing tit to kilL
That's tbe sort of a man he was. It was
tbe funniest thing be'd run np against
in a long tine.
"He never once thought of stopping
me, not once, but be fays, when be was
letting me out, 'If you should come
again, don't shut tbe gate.' "New
York Sun. v
j Too Much Culture.
"Aunt Penelope Wiggins, "as every
body called ber, was visited one sum
mer by a niece from the, east, a Vassar
-college graduate. Aunt Penelope was
one of tbe most hospitable souls alive,
but she was not greatly impressed by
tbe superior learning of ber young rela
tive, and one day she freed her mind
about ber thus:
Talk to me about what a college edu
cation does for a girll What do yon
suppose Matilda said tome tbe first day
she came? She said :
"I'm so glad to meet you, aunty 1
You accent your name on the Aunty
Penultimate, don't you?"
Did you ever hear such nonsense? I
, bad to tell her my name wasn't Aunty
Penultimate, but Aunty Penelope, and
I thought she would die a-laugbingS
Youth's Companion.
.1 L, .L. ,f
Borrowers of Tobacco.
There are some smokers who do not
bay tobacco or cigars more than once a
year. There is probably no other article
which is so often borrowed and not re
paid as tobacco. A wit in this city onoe
said in a newspaper paragraph, "Tbe
American people last year used 60,000,
000 pounds of chewing tobacco, half of
whioh tbey borrowed. " There is almost
as much truth as fun in that assertion.
Cbioago.Cbronlcle.
30 pieces; Foot Races; Horse Races; Boat Races; Bicycle Races; Swimming
Races; Log Rolling; Fireman's Tournament; Indian War Dance.
COURAGE.
It la not the; that never knew
Wcaknnw or frar who are the bm i e -
Thcwe are ton proud, (be knightly few
Whose Joy la (till to serve and bit
But the; who In the weary night
Am id the darkness and tbe streaa
Eave atruirtilwl with disease and blight
With pitiful world weariness.
They who have yearned to stand among
The free and niik'hty of the earth.
Whose cad, aspiring souls are wrun(
With starless hope and hollo, mirth,
Who die with erery day, yet live
Through mercilen, unbrtghtened years,
Whose sweetest right is to foriira
And smile divinely through their tears.
They are the noble, they the strong,
They are tbe tried, the trusted ones,
And though their wa is hard and lone.
Straight to the pitying God it irns.
, ., , Harper's ekly.
SMITH'S CAKE.
It Was Something of a Surprise Vkra
Served at Dinner.
"Madam, yon don't know bow to
make cake I" ' exclaimed Mr. Smith,
throwing a lump of half cooked dough
across tbe room at tbe cat "Yon never
knew bow to make cake. I'd rather eat
wet sawdust Yon ought to bave seen
tbe cake my mother made. That was
cakeTV .
"Your mother again always your
mother I" retorted Mrs. Smith. "Pity
she didn't teach you something I'
"What do yon mean, madam?! I'll
warrant I'll make better caka myself
than you any day. " ' - "J
" Why don't yon try? You'll find ev
erything in tbe kitchen."
"Well,' I can."'
"Well, why don't you? Yon are all
talk I"
Smith found himself cornered, and
felt : very uncomfortable, as be bad eU
tber to surrender unconditionally or to
make good his boast tie bad . never
made a cake in his life, bad no idea bow
cakes were compounded, but thought be
knew what was in them.'
"I'll make tbe cake," he said. .
"Well,, come into .tbe kitchen and
make it," proposed bis wife.
"What, now?" ; ,
"Yes, now. I'll get tbe things for
yon."
Smith took off bis coat, bis collar and
necktie and rolled up his shirt sleeves."
Tbey walked to the kitchen together,
and Smith said:
"What shall I mix it in?"
"Ob, you're doing it," Mrs, Smith
replied. r :
"Ah, this will do," he said, taking
opabowL "Now bring me some water,
now some raisins and currants, sugar
and ginger and allspice. There, that
will do.", He put tbem all into the
bowl, and mixed them with a spoon.
"They don't seem to stick together,"
he said. "Looks more like a thick soap
than anything else. Fancy I've got too
much water.". Smith drained off some
of tbe water and was about to put tbe
cake Into a pan, when his wife said: -
"Didn't your mother use flour?"
"Oh, yes yes ah, yes flour, of
course." Then be mixed in flour until
it was so stiff that he could hardly
knead it "Now," said he, "I'll take
this cake round to tbe baker's and bave
it baked properly." Ho started off, and
when be reached tbe baker's he said:
"Will yon just throw this stuff sway
and put in its place one of your best
plum cakes?"
That night at supper Mrs. Smith bad
ber mother and sister with her. Sbe
bad told them of tbe cake, and tbey
were expecting great fun at Smith's ex
pense. The cake did not come until sup
per time. Smith took it from tbe boy
and said:
"This is my cake something like a
cake." He carried in the cake and
placed it on the table.
"Here's a note in the paper," said
Mrs. Smith. "I'll read it:
"Dkar Sir I am sorry we are all out of
plum cake, ao 1 send yon a pound cake Instead.
Youri obediently, & Brows, Baiter."
New York Ledger. ' ; ' '
"Trivial" is derived from the Latin
for three ways and means tbe petty gos
sip of tb crossroads.
COIVXPIjSTS particulars ixrjasscoc WEEIC
t t
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Tbey are 13x19 Inches in tire,
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1 'fcoiMriaocoonwe 1
ass nuat at tms rrssm wiu so
ar mit n
i.ej0r&cv
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Elastic Starch
purchased of your grocer. It is the best laundry starch on the market, and
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ALL GROCERS KEEP ELASTIC STARCH. ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTE
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'98 Model, 32,
'98 Model, 35,
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i H 'Pof ole by C. G.'HontlT.
and are entitled at followi:
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& ANDRESEN,
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lias no e'tiuil in diseases of the) '
( Kidneys aLd Urinary Organs, Have
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For sale by 0. O. Huntley.
WHEN YOU BUY, ALWAYS
GET THE BEST
This applies to real estate as well as other comoditios.
Every family in need of a home deBires tho best loca
tion. SOUTH OREGON CITY
Has the greatest number of advantages to its credit,
of any of the suburbs of Oregon City. It will pay
you to investigate this property. Good clear lots At
reasonable prices on easy instalments. Call on or
address
T. L. CHARMAN, Trustee
Charmm Bro's. Block,
liHii ululnr Li.
PORTLAND TO
THE DALLES
By the fast
and com
modious Bteamer
Regulator
Leaves Portland daily except
Sunday at 7 a. m.
This is the Great Scenic Route.
All touriat admit that the scenery
on the Middle Columbia is not ex
celled for beauty and grandeur in
the United States. Full Informa
tion by addregfling or calling on
J. N. HARNEY, Agent,
Tel. 914. Portland, Or.,
Office and wharf, foot of Oak St.
A. W. PHILLIPS,
EXPRESS
AND
DELIVERY
Prompt attention to hauling to any
part of Oregon City.
Moving attended to promptly and
carefully.
Special rates given on hauling to
. and from Gladstone and Park-
place. ; , ,
Oregon City
j-j ELLOH
' 1800 miles of long dis
tance telephone wire in
Oregon and Washington
now in operation by the
Oregon Telephone and Tel
egraph company. '
Portland, Seattle, Spo
kane, Tacoma, .Salem.
Walla Walla. Pendleton,
Albany and 96 other towns
in the two states flu tht
line, 1 1 ; 1
Quick, accurate, cheap
All the Batiffaction of
Krsonal. communication.
Htance no effect to as
clear understanding. Spo
kane as easily heard as
Portland. r
Oregon City office at
Huntley's Drug Store.
J. H. THATCHER, MANAGER,
Portland, - - Oregon.
F.n()i1IInIi4'4 1X85.
CI.
f PIONEER
Tfanfei1 and
Freight and parcels delivered .
to all parts of the city.
RATES - REASONABLE.
nan