JOKES ASdMvEKS.
SOME OF THE FUN AND FUNMAKERS
OF BYGONE DAYS.
From IMogenea la More Modem Mm The
Engllah Kurnl.h Rather Heavy CI aaa of
Humor-Inririaiiatlble Supply of Irlah
Bulla.
There is mora real hnmor iu mod
ern clixllu.'pr thnn in an ancient phi
Insoplu'r. Tlio jokea that havo cotno
down to ns from tirvcce nre mostly jxior
rtnfT, hut oollop' boys are glad to get
any comfort at all from root jmiMtiiifj,
and therefore they IhukIi at Dioem
and Aristophanes. It is said that the
rid cyuio begsvd a tub to live in and
toted this about where ho liked and
mitttted under it when ho pleased.
When Alexander called on him in this
palatial residence, ho asked what ho
ronld do for him. "Get out of my sun
light," said Diop'nes. That was tolera
bly good, bnt uncivil. The nstr old
cnb with his tub could be duplicated by
a thousand tram) in America any day,
and many of them are doubtless nastier
and smarter. Plato is said to have
preached fatality. When a rogue ran
against him with a beaut and excused
himself as "fated to doit," "Yes,"
Mid Plato, "I fca but I also am fated
to beat you for it," and pave the fellow
a good caning. For sortiveuoss Horace
Was tho most pleasing of the ancients, '
but his verses are Tery amatory and
onie of them more stucgostive thau a
trench play. Charles Lamb is worth
20 of him, only that Horace could be a
SPOUSE OF A SIOUX PRINCESS.
Cliarlea P. JonUii, t'mi.ln or General dialer
u.l Typical llordcr Seoul
The qiuvu of the Sioux is tho wifo of
white man. Neither of them is or has
any reason to bo ashamed of it Kod
Cloud, without question the greatest
Indian chief of this generation, gave
her away at tho altar on tho Sioux res
ervation. Tho Sioux qnMm'shust)aud is
Charles P. Jordan, brother of Lieuten
ant Colonel Jordan, United States ar
Hy, a cousin of (ieuernl Custer and one
f tho most tried repnwixiitutirca of tho
government in the Indian eonntrv. Ho
bears tho honor of being tho only white
umu who was ever elected a member of
tho Sioux council. Iu their days of pow
er, before hardly asingle white face had
been 8on west of the Missouri river,
ho Dakota (Sioux) were one nation, J
mica ny one chioi. 1 no ittKt of tins au-
ttx ratio dynasty was Cild Smoke, who
died in 185!) after seeing his people
pnshwl westward and his power curtail
ed. Although thelmsbtuid of more than
one squaw, ho left but one child, a tiny
girl, w ho could hardly coo when Dill
Smoke got ready to float upwurd to the
happy huiitiug grounds. When dving,
he took her in his arum and named her
Tho Beautiful Woman, and so she has
since been known. The Beautiful Wom
an was a princess. She did uo work.
but learned of missionaries, scorned dog i
meat and kept lu r uaus trimmed and
her glorious black hair plaited anil
combed She grew to womanhood, high
spirited, proud and capricious an ideal
squaw. But as no ideal chief came to
w-oo her she scorned an alliance with
Ar You doing Ka-df
If so, it will pay you to write to A. C.
Sheldon, general agent of tho "Burling
ton Home," '.VtO W'Hshinuton street.
Portland, Ho will mail you frvo of
charge, maps, time tables, and advise
you as to the through rates to any point,
reserve sleeping car aeconiiuodations
for you, and furnish you with through
tickets via either tho Northern, Union,
Southern, Canadian Paeillc or Great
Northern railroad at the very lowest
rates obtainable.
The Burlington route is generally con
ceded to be the llncst equipped railroad
in the world for all classes of travel.
Through Trains Without Trimmer.
Travellers must not forget that the O.
K. A N. lino Is thoroughly repaired and
all trains ar runninu without transfer
or delay. Through serviee to Omaha,
Kansas City, St. Loula and Chicago;
Pullman sleepers, free reclining chair
cars, upholstered tourist sleepers and
modern day coaches. Call on 0. R. A
N. Agent before purchasing tickets, or
address W. H. Hurlbiirt, tieu'l Passen
ger Agent. Portland, Oregon.
Blank note, receipt ami order hooka
at the Kntkri'Kisk ollice
t'j Id
" ':-
poet when he chose of a different sort
Homer's picture of Thersites is the old
est burlesque that I remember A joke
coming down from 1000 B. a ought to
be pretty good. Will 31 Quad last as
long?
English joking is generally heavy,
flere is oue told by James Payn. A wit
nesa in a slander case swore that Miss
lie was thrown over the wall a dozen
times. "What, "said the judge. "Who
was Miss lies, and why did they throw
her over?" It was missiles. I cannot see
anything so very funny in Sydney
fmiui g wisinng he could, on a certain
hot day, take off his flesh and sit in his
any common memlw of tho tribe.
Young Jordan, a tall, bright eved
fellow of good education and address,
came west as clerk to the Indian agent
at Pine Ridge. He fell iu love with the
princess, and his love was reciprocated
by the Sioux maiden. And so they were
married by a priest iu stole and surpliee
and with all the formalities of the whito
man s laws and customs. The big Sionx
chiefs came from miles around to attend
the wedding, the army officers from the
neighboring posts jingled their spurs in
the Old Virginia reel, which followed
the benediction, and the pretty Sioux
queen has since been plain Mrs. Jordan.
Mexican
bone. But Hood and Charley Lamb are A ' b:iuk eJed children bless tho
a brace that no one ought ever to be B"llulce- -naries r. Joruan, tne Sioux
without I have given up trying to keep Qnwu' husband, has lived on the fron-
h complete set of either. They are bor
rowed and relished, and, I suppose, read
to pieces.
Hood was capital in every direction
he turned, whether pathos, satire, pun
or pure joking. His taking off of cele
brated characters was as good as any
thing. Yon should first read Boswell's
"Johnson" and then read Hood's
"Johnsouiana. " But does anybody read
Boswcll nowadays? Alas, for once fa
mous books! Hood, savs Johnson, was
tier for many years. Ho is still in his
prime, and his adventures would fill a
book or several of them. He has been
scalped, shot full of arrows, has beeu
tortured and even condemned to death
by the hostile Thirty miles from Rose
bud agency he has a flue farm and stock
ranch, well wooded with oak, elm, ash
and box elder. There is a big orchard
of cultivated fruits close by aud a series
of artificial dams down the valley, in
which beaver are encouraged to con
struct thoir own peculiar fortifications.
once cousulted by a lady as to the de
gree of turpitude and spanking due her Slonx Clty Jnrial.
boy for robbing an orchard. "Madam, " I
said the ponderous doctor, "it all hangs i Crmwd Engineer,
on the weight of the boy. I remember Insanity is very frequent among rail
my school fellow, Davy Garrick, who wa? employees. Two dramatic illnstra
was a little fellow, robbing a dozen or- tiolls can ' mentioned. There is living
chards with impunity, but the very first
time 1 climbed an apple tree, for I was
always solid, the bough broke, and it
was called a judgment on ma I sup
pose that is why justice is represented
witn a pair of scales.
in few Jersey, not far from Philadel
phia, a man who for many years was
the foremost passenger engineer between
New York and Philadelphia on the
Pennsylvania railroad He ran all the
specials and best trains, and in 10 years
Sheridan was the best of jokers, but DeveT bad an accident One night in
half that is attributed to him is floating tue g'eani of tho headlight he saw a
wit that needed a father. It is probably woman. He had only time to see her
true that he asked his roistering but hands rained and to hear her cry, aud
highborn crew one night whether they before he could put his hand upon the
should drink like beasts or like men. leTer De ''" a Jerk under the wheels
Some oue said, "Men, of course. " "Oh,
then, " crier! Sheridan, "we'll get aw
ful drunk, for beasts only drink What
they need."
Irish wit is famous the world over.
Part of it consists in the brogue, but it
is rare that an Irisin::au has not sur
prises of speech, in which consists the
wit of the highest order. Le Fanu, in
his "Seventy Years of Irish Life, " has
collected a great dctil tiiat is delicious.
A witness that was badgered by a iaw
yer was asked, "You're a nice fellow,
now, ain't you?" Witness answered,
"I am, sir, aud if I were not on oath,
sir, I'd say the same of you. " Another
witness was asked by a bnllyiiiK coun
sel, "So you had a pistol?" "I had,
sir. " "Who did you intend to shoot?"
"I wau't intendin to shoot no one."
"So you got it for nothing?" "No, I
didn't" "Come, come I On your oath,
what did you get that pistol for?" "For
three and ninepence, sir, in Mr. Rich
ardson's shop. "
The Irish bnll is often better than
any deliberate wit Sir Richard Steele
insisted these bulls were owing to the
air of the country, "and sir," he add
ed, "if an Englishman was born here,
I don t doubt he d do the same. " In
and knew that All was over. Since that
night he has never been on an engine.
For months he did not sleep and later
became practically insane, bot ouly on
the one point of seeing aud hearing tho
woman bis engine killed Now he goes
about harmlessly and aimlewly, but he
has to be kept away from railroads, and
in his fretful sleep be awakes with cries
and paroxysms of horror. The other
case is that of a man who was conductor
of a train on the Camden and Amboy,
whose train had an accident. He came
out all right himself, but it preyed so
upon his mind that oue night he left hi
home, aud going to tho point where the
accident occurred threw himself in
front of a passing train, receiving in
juries from which he died Philadel
phia Times.
The Latent In tetter Writer.
! An enterprising country publisher,
who has remarked that imineuso num
bers of people suffer from an almost uu
conquerable repugnance to letter writ
ing, has prepared a special post card for
the use of lazy correspondents. The
back of the card is divided lengthwise
into 10 unequal spaces, and the energies
of the reluctant scribe are spurred by
debate on taxation an Irish member of tne 'lowing suggestivo headings, one
parliament insisted that "a tax on leath- 01 which is conspicuously printed to tho
er would press heavily on the barefoot- ,(,ft eacn llle divisions: 1. Date,
ed peasantry. " Sir Boyle Roche replied 2- Excuse for not having written sooner,
they could, "make the under leathers of 8- State of health (a) of self, (b) of
wood " Tho same Sir Boyle urged the falui!7- The writer's recent experi
uuion of England and Ireland so that encei- 6- NcwH- 6- family gossip. 7.
"the barren hills would become fertile Qtes'ion to be answered in your next
valleys. " In another debate he answer- 8- Love to 9- 'ron
ed "I boldly answer in the affirmative 10, Signature. London Tit-Bit
Not" He was author of "You should
refrain from throwing open the flood- Bewildering.
Kates of democracy, lest von should I "What has become of that man who
Mustang
Liniment
for
Burns,
Caked & Inflamed Udders.
Piles,
Rheumatic Pains,
Bruises and Strains,
Running Sores,
Inflammations,
Stiff joints,
Harness & Saddle Sores,
Sciatica,
Lumbago,
Scalds,
Blisters,
Insect Bites,
AH Cattle Ailments,
AH Horse Ailments,
All Sheep Ailments,
Penetrates Muscle,
Membrane and Tissue
Quickly to- the Very
Seat of Pain and
Ousts it in a Jiffy.
Rub In Vigorously.
Mustang Liniment conquers
Pain,
Makes flan or Beast well
again.
A NARROW ESCAPE!
How it Happened.
Thi followlnii ronmrkntiln eem In a 1siIt'
lirirltiiin.tili rvuiler: "Kura lonii Urn,. 1
Im.U lerrlMii imlli nl my li,.rl, ,lrli Hut
li'iv.l ul in. ..i In. uwmitly. Ihii.l mi uimhmiik
nuil i-oiil.l mil n.i. nou 1,1 lH omuix-ll..,!
Inll up In Iwl mid tieli h mm front my mom-Bi-h
until I tlimmhi Vwry mliiiil,. would I hi
tny luit. Ihi'ivKit fii'llnu n( oiiitvvil.iii
ylioiu my limn, ami ,i fr,u, ,raw
full liriMUli. I I'liuliln't twerp n room win,,
mil ulitlii l, nvn mill rvtiii.; Iml, tluink
liml. Iiy tlio help of New Henri nr all linn
l punt mill f,v like wmitlier woinitu Hi
finv iwln I lie New llenrt tire I hii.l iiiken
iliirerent mi'iiIIiiI rvnirillr mid U.en trvtiieil
hyilm-lont without mi Umii Hi iiiiIII I u.
mill ilNciiiirnitml nml illitiiteil. Mv tui-lutnil
IhhicIh mil Imltln of )r. Me' New llenrt
J ure, nml mu liuppy to u I never rei-reth il
II. iw I now limn iiplenillil iHMhe nml
uleepwoll. I weluhe.l IJJ U when I he.
Di.ii lublii., il... . ..I. ...T.I 1 !-i .
-- .i.. . iii.'.ij, ,Hin i neiRII LB',
in flt.vi Iu my Int. teen Irulv iniirii.l
nu. II fnr mirpiMM. any oilier meilli lue I
Imve tver luken or any lieiirlil I ever n.
reivwl front plivHli'lmm."- Mr llurijMurr
I'nltio llln, l' , (letotier II. H"3.
I'r. Mil.' New Henri fur lutolilon a tl
live uunrnntiHi hy nil ilrnxiiUi, or Iiy ilie hr
Mile. Meill. nl Co., Klklnirl. Iml.. uu ns elpi u
prl'-t". 1 Jxt botllv, tit Ix.llli . pn pre
pnlil. Tlil trri'iit ill4-overy If an eminent
IKH'lnlUI In henrt nlM'ne. ronulu. ItvlUiui
opute. nor Onuorou. drug.
For sale by Churman & Co.
Society Directory.
iKKuON CITY IIOAItll OK TIUIK.
Meiilam (Inn it Hilling on Hei'iiml Mnttilay III
VKeli iiiiinili. VUllota weleiinm.
K. K. iHiNAI.ImnN, UKO, C. llltliWNKI.I,
in'riury, frimlilenL
(UVKI, I.OIUIK, Ml, ,VV A O. I'. W
Mielei'iini mi.l fmirlli Mninniay nvenlnai at
Ktillir.llialt.i:anliy, Vlnlllim lirullierii mail,
weli'iiitia,
K K t'Am.TiiK, K 0. Mmhmm k,
Riniir.ler, Mauler Wiirtniau
K (IK V. UTAH KUHIK NO. Hft.
J. K. Kliley t t'.; Tlinmaa NkIImHI. K. nf H.
an. I , Meen .very Ueilneilny eviniln al H
oelm-li In fa. lie ,all, I. U, II. f. hull. linn.
Ilrollivri Imm oilier K.ul I'. IimIkik Invlleil.
IN KlIO UHK1K NO, UW, A. K. A A. M. "
Meiiltllm eenii'l ami foiirtlt rtalnnti yanteaeli
mulllll al 7 p. lit. All Manilla Iu .,..! .i.n.lhi.
are liivlli.1 In aileml,
I H K. W. l, K, J. Kraam. Hee'y,
(HWKliO I IMMiK N(, ha, I. o, (, T
Meetn .very Krtilavevenluir In llm tnw hall In
tll.l "' II
J. t:, IUinkb, f, T, John Kafnit, Hee'y,
WIII.AMKI1K KI'lirKAII KKCIIKK l.olHIK.
NO
Meela Ilie aeeunil ami Iniirlli Mmi.l.v In !.
mulllll al ? mi I' M In . o. l r Hall.
M.tl t lUHaN, u. M. , .ku ,w
Heeretary. i, (j,
KlirrlfTi Nolir of Mt on Kj-ullin.
Iu Ih. ('ninny Cnurt nf the Hint, of Oregon fur
111. t ulililjf nf Claekatnaa.
KiilrTnckrr, pUlnlllT. v., A. I. lllaiielianl an. I
II N. tiilniiiitlnu. ilelemlauu
Hlate of Orvnoii, Cntiaty nf Clarkatnaa, ta,
Nnllr. U herehy tlv.ti, lhat hy virtue of an
r lei'iilloii ami onler of tal. lainnl mil of the
county roiirt of ih. titai. nl (ireiiiu for III.
t on lit T nf l'lai'kaina, lM'arln dale the -.iir h
lay of (Htolier, MM. Iu a mil wherein Ituf.
Turner wa plalutllf. ami A 1. llUui li.r.l ami
II N. Kiluiuiatiiu were ileleii'lanta. ennuuamr
Inr me. in lit. nam. nf the Siai. of Oregon, thai
mil of ih. real raiai. h.reluafttr ileacrlhe.l, lo
renllie a auin iiHii leul to tllv the ilemamli
ol aaul ileere., lo wit IIU7J. ami Ih. further
turn of liMo at alinriiey leea. ami Ih. lurther
auin of flintt ro.la, lovether with Interval on the
me nine, an 1. 1 ilecrer waa rntereil at len ter
reul. per auuiim, ami alao Hi. emu ol ami al
leniliiif thla aile.
Now. tlnTi'lorr. In nhnllenr. lo aiirh ileeree, I
ill. I, on the .tiii flay ol (M-tolier. Ivl. iluly levy
upon, ami will, on Saiiinlay, Hie I.: .Iiy ol lie
remher. IW. al the hour nl I irrlnrk P M. of
alii ilay. at Hi. from door of Hi. court himae In
al.l county onYi loral. at puhlie auetloii, ami
all In Ih. bluheal ami heat lihl.ler. loreaahln
haml.all Hi. rlithl, till, ami Inl.reai Hi. aalil
ilelemlami or either of them hav. lit ami lo
the loiiowliK rieerllie. real property, lo wll
IoU 7 anil . Iu hlurk &. Kalla View A.lill
lion tn Oreon City. Clarkamaa roiiiilv.lirrxon.
I'ateil tbla '7th day of Ortoher. A II l-''l.
K i:. MAKIHM K.
HhcrllT of Claekamai touniy, Htal. ol tirefin.
Ily N. M Moonv. Deputy tl-MI l
I.. A. A. nf K. H iiakku I'ltin u iivv
Meet. In K IV Hall on (he aeeoml' aii.l fourth
Momlay pveulmra of eaeli m.uith
... M"" w t Johnson, I'r.ai
M'aaNoaaA Uai.irr, tteo y.
MISI I.KIDK l.uliiiK NtV jti,TlK II!
Meet every TueaiUv eveuh.tf
Maav IH. Mono. f. nf II. H.m iya. lior
HI'NHIhK l.tHHIK. NO. lit A. ()! I' vi'T
Meet every aeeoml ami loiittli xatimlay olearh
Inoiuli al Wllaonvllla, Oreaoii.
M. C. YiilMU , M , W,
John Tvi.aa, Heronler.
CIO lltoS l.dln.K Nn'i -a'x ".V I'-lt
Meeta ever, Thuraday .veiling al tl.l.l Kellowt
hall. Oar,o, Vlalllm btelhiMi alwaya e
c""" T. Mi'Uii.i.tN.
k.ni Mix. Keeonler y. VV.
M'H.Al.l.A l.uliiiK So 6, A O. V. W.
Me.ta Itr. i. ii, ihli, Haiurilay In each niouih
al teli.Mil hoi. Vlallllif niemU'ra made a.l.
,-iiie j
i. . iioaniNa. nee.
I.K.V t UooK I'linr, No, (I. A. H
mem or oreaiui.
Mtnia In ieliool hoiia. al Neculy on Drat Hal
unlav In eaeh mouth al J o e.. k n. m. l
eouirad.a mad. w.leoiu. . ' llii.llxoa
- Tiioai aox, A.ljl. l ouimamler.
WACIIKNil TIIIIIK, Nil 'H HKHMr N "
Moela Tuea.lair vvetllua al A.tl. I'. V) ll.l VI..
Iliuj nieuilwra lllvlle I J, II. Howauii,
,, ,. . Haeliein.
I no Kii.i.T. C. of K.
1'ANHV liiMM.KrSil o. tl, V.
aieela Ural ami third Halurday .veiilut of
. W. TiioNaa, M, W
le art-
Sunilny Sorvlcos.
Nl'. I'At'l.'H ('III' III II - r pi.i'opfll - Hpi'i'lsl
nnlle. ilven ul larvleea In lie held. Hervli ea al
II u eloi k . lit. ami 7 stl p, m, I'rayitr aervleo
every VNeilueadny ovenm..
KIIINt' rilNOIIKtlATHiNAI. CHI'IICII.
Iti'v. J, W.Ounan I'aalor. Nervli'im al Hi ml a. at.
and N ih r. M. Nuiidny Hehuol alier moMiina
ai.rvlee, I'm) or uieeilni Wedueaday avi'iiiui at
H wiu.nloek, I'rayer lueellim ul Yuiiut I'eopl.
liiielely nl Chrhilan hmleavur evoiy Hiimlay
vuiiiiiH al 7 IK pr.iupt,
KlltHT HAI'TIMT CIII'HCII -llv. (IiihaN
I' ii nan I'aalor MornliiK M .rvle at 1 1 Nun. lay
Hehool al U Id; Kveuhiic Hervlea AMI; Keanlar
ira)er tiieelliui Medueailay eieulut. Moulhly
(luveiiaiii Mi'otlnu every Wedueaday evenlne,
preeeillun Hie Oral Holiday III ih. tnonlh, A
eurnlal 1 1 vital Inn lo all.
NT, ItlllN H ('lll'ia:il.CATIIOI.II!.-l(v. A.
I I I l.i t it ha nii, l'na:or. (in MumU) maaa al a ami
IH ml a. m. Kvery aeeotnl ami fourth Hun. lav
lletiniili termini alter the ueluek ma. a
Al all oilier lliaaaea r.llKll.ll aeriniilia. Nuu.lny
Hi'liool al I .in r M, Vaiera, aiolnt.leal
uhleeia, ami Heneilleiloii al 7 .HI r, H.
MKriituiiMT ki'ihi'iii-ai. fiirici'ii. kmv
II. Hv, I'aalor. Mortiliut tervte. al II:
Mumlay Hi'liool al 0 t. I l.i.a meeting after
tmiriiluit aervlru. hveiilna aervle. al 7 ;ul.
Kpworlli l.eur me.-liua Numlay eveiilnit al
U M. I'rayer Meellna Tliuraday ieiilii al i W,
irauiera enidlallv Invlleil.
kiiimt I'ltKMiivrrHus riinicii.-ity. a.
W.iiiiiNy, I'aalor. Hervieet al II A. M ami
Htl r. at. Haldialh Hi lmol al HI A. M. Yniuif
I'eople a Homely ol ( hrlallau Klhleavor meen
every Numlay evening at au Mrilnenlay
avenlnii prayer lueelliig al 7 M, Neala Ire.
r-.VANO".l.li'..t'Hri(t'H-liKIIMAN - H K.
M v KH", I'aaiur. I'teai-lniiif aervlrea every
Hiimlay al II A M and 7 :i I' M,
aalihaili ael,o.d everv Hiiiolay at III A. M Ulev.
I', Hod, Nupt ) Weekly l-taier Mevllllf
every W edueaday .veiling
I'Nll'KH llltKlllltKN IN CIIHIMr.-l'reaeh.
lilt evnty aMou.l ami foiirlh Hiiuday ol ear It
moiitii, ai it oo a m ami ; .m p ui.-vt II, In'.
Lain, I'a.lor Hiimlay aelmol al in a. m, al
llleif. ill I lly Klial aiill.Uy al Maiuaoll aelnail
liiiuae. Molalla. Ill I id Hun.l.y, Momitaln Homo
II a. in.; I holier Orov., 4 p. m-Wl.a lielia
lireen, rluperliiii iuleiil Humiay i hool, I'rayer
tureiliHi every W edueaday veulii(,
EAST AND SOUTH
TIIK SHASTA KOUTE
Of thn
SOUTIIiiKN I'AGIIC COMTANY.
Kijireaa Tralm leav l'orllttiul lnily.
I Norlii.
notice or Ai'Hointmknt.
Notlcs It hereby glean that Hi. uiider.lrnrd
haa. hy order ol the llonoralile (..'utility Court of
laekainaa county, Oregon, been appointed al
laiulairaiur ol tlieeelat.nf I homat A. Huii bitia,
ileiMwl All neraow. iherelore. who have
rlaln.t agalnat tald eatai. ara reiulre( to pre
aewl Ihem duly verified to my all.. nicy, II. K
Croia, al hla ollice In Oregon City, Oregou,
Wltblu tlx mntilha from tlila date
Ki.l.A A. IllitJHINU.Ailmx.
Dated Nor. 1, m. ll-i It-.10
-THE
fMIRO!
pave the way for a general conflagra
tion. At a race an Irishman was de
lighted because he was "first at last. "
When they laughed, he added, "8nre,
wasn't i behind befora" One day a
friend of Bishop Bramutone approached
him with tho remark that he wanted "a
wife, yonng, rich and pretty, " and he
wanted the bishop to pick her out for
him. "Tut, tut!" said the bishop. "My
name is Bramfltone, not Brimstone! I
do not make matli(ul" E. P. Powell
In St Louis Globe Democrat
used to call here so often to ace you?"
asked bin. Eatitside of hor house serv
ant, a rather good looking girL
"He doesn't come anymore to see me
since he got married,'' waa the sad re
ply. "Oh, be has got married, has he?
Whom did he marry?"
"Me." Texas Biftings.
Condenaecl Corretpondenoe,
Many Philadephiana npon arriving
' abroad make use of the cable code. The
I flrafc TTMMIUflrM, nuiiill 1 V rnvtl vnrl Yir Manila
What May lie. j arJ(j tne one tnat Kive, tl)e mMt pleM.
Old Fashioned Pacsonr (awakening ore is that containing the word "ablu-
suaaeniy irom a ooze) l rK yotir par- tion, " which moans arrived safe and
don fornotseoiug you standing, madam.
Please take my seat.
Woman Conductor (chakin him
again) Say, undo, how much longer
are you going to kcop me wailing for
your fare? Chicago Tribune.
well; good voyaga Amolia.
It is Bapposed that the fashion among
women of reading the final pages of a
novel first is due to their predilection
for the last word. Boston Transcript
Oregon Pacific Railroad
CIIAS. CLAHK, Receiver.
Direct Line Quick dispatch
Low freight rate between Wil
lamette Valley points and San
Franciwco.
OCEAN STEAMER SAILINGS.
Steamship "HOaMER."
This Company recerveH the
right to change nailing date with
out notice.
For freight and paHsengor rates
apply to any agent.
CIIAS CLARK, Receiver.
Chas. J. Hendrys, Son & Co.,
Nos. 2, 8, Market St., S, F.
5otlc of Eierulnr't lt nf Heal Katate.
Notice It herehy given that In puraiiance of a
llceoae ami onler of tale niaile hv the Cooair
Court of the State of orecuu, tor Hit Couiiiy ol
Claekamaa, on the ?Jth day of Mentemher. Il4,
111 thw matter of the eatate- of Kiclianl (terowa,
deccaaed, the umleraiiue. rieculori ol the laat
will ami teaiamelll ol aald Kleliard lienlea. lie
rvaaad. will ell al puhlle wuetlon. al the c.nirt
houailiMir. In ihuclty ol Oregon City. Clark
mn eoiiuly Oregon, nil ttvt 17lh day ul Iter mi.
tier, ihm. at lOo'cluek A. M.. to the lilgheat Ix.l
der for canh In hand, ail and lingular the
following deacrltied real property helouglug lo
the tald eatate of Klcliar der. lea, ileeraaed,
aituateil In the County of Clackamaa ami Slnta
nf Oregon, to wit: A Irixt of land aliuate. 1 lag
and Mug ill the County of t'lackainaa, statu of
Oregoa, to-wll: Coin indict lag a chalut ami au
linkt noil l hoi the noriheaat aoriieruf the m rth
eal quarter of the aouthweal quarter ol auction
Ihlrtteu towuthlp twit touth, range lour eaai,
where the county road fmta Oregon City, via
I nloiA tettlemetit, Interteeta the old einlgrnnl
mad (nun I'lilllp Koater't loThe I'allea; iheiu-c
north 7 degreea and tn nilnulea, weal at chalua
and i' lllika; thence tontlt !7 iloilna and rtl
II uka; thence eaat JU chaiua; thence norlii in
chalut ami Nl Imka, to lieglunlng, coiiiulnlug
31. .'l arrea, together Willi tliai lenementa. hernl
itamentt ami appiirteuancea thereunto lieloag
lug.
Iieed to he made at the eipenae of porchaaer.
bated Movem Iter 1:1, lrvjl, H.I, NoKiigtt,
II. Wot.r,
Xxavnton of tilt KatatK uf I'll, hunt (,erl..a
each month al Knlght't hall. Caiihy. Vlalllng
un-iiim'iiaiaa)l mailv welluua
Ki.1.4 Kaimir. See (Uo w, Kkiiint. W, 0.
WtioliUKN OK TIIK WiiHI.H." - '
Ulllamrita r'alla l ainii No la m.w.i. .! . ,..i
llh Tlle.day lllghta III each lllolilll III K, ol f.
nun. , laiiiui iieigniaira Ulaile welcome.
K. E. Makti Clerk. K. M. Mat g.C. 0.
tlMWtlill likA.N'iiK No. I7 I' ul II,
Meeta (he aeeoml Saturday ol each month at
10 a. in o. Kirox Mi.lcr. J. g. (iAiit Hee'y.
HAM AK'I'H OIUNiiK I' OK II Nil j-.
Meeta on I lip flrl iur.ay Iu each tn. null al
luo'olorka. in. at the Hamiaeiii acliool honae
VOI NO, Maaier.
T II. KkATIlaaa, Secretary.
" T Jiill.NS HIIANCII, No 7. C. K.ol A.
Meeta every Tneaday evening al their hall
corner Main and laulli Slreela, ( rregou CHy
' '' Mm lil.a,Hery. T. W. ell' l.l. I v a a. I'rra
Mri.T.S'iiUAII iJilitirl. St). I, A. K A A. M "
Holda Ita regular eointtltllllcallotia no flral
anil third Haiurdaya of eaeh month at 7 an r.
Mrctliren lngo.nl aiaiiillng are Invited in attend
I.. I.. -i'!llr:it. , M.
T. r KVA.1.e,retary.
CI.ACKAM H ( MAI'TKIt
Clarkamat chapter No. i It a. l. Kegnlar
Oiuvawwiitia third ilou.la) ul the mouih at 7,8 1
' J. II. WALK 11, II, P,
M Hrm- rtl't, Her'T.
OKKIJON l.tilwiE. N..r j, I ti O. K.
Meeta every Thuraday even ..a at 7 jtuo'eha-k
r. u. Id the OiM Kralowt' Hall. Main ttreeL
Metnlierwof the Order are I lulled to atlend.
OKt C. KI.V. N. U
Thot, Kyan. Secretary.
"ohwkhii l,oi.t;r. s n. I. (. o. r "
Meeta at "ild Kellw t hall, Oawego, every
Monday evening. Vlalllng brethren made
welcome. f, . SIXUS , S. O.
J. K. Krai.tr, Hec.
At.-KIM.KS 1,'iIX.K, No; :(. K of I'
Meeta every I'r l.l y night at Ilie K. uf f, hall
Vlallllif Kulgnti invited
K L llm. M ai. 0. C. I
TfALITIN (iUANtiK Nil III t ..III
Meeta laat Haturday si each nnnth at ihelr
ball In Wllaonvllle. K. ft. Illtsav.
Mia Han a Hiuar. Bee'y. Maater.
okkiion en r iiohk co.", i a
Regular meeting third Tmday of each
Diotith at 7: Sal H M ). i KiKaxa I'rea.
II. H. ttiaANot. Hee. H. Nnita. K'rtn.
Wli LAMKriK KKIIKfcAM DKORKK LolHik
NO. X I O. O. K.
Meett the ecoiul ami fourth MonoVv In each
month al o'clock p. ui Iu I o O. Y. Mall
.Mm. Many W u.LiAa, s U.
Mita. M. 0. Ciiakvi, Hen.
Hi.ii.h
IAr tt.
7 in r. m.
I0 4.it m
l.v
l.i
Ar
I'orllaud Ar
Oragonl'liy l.v
H Kralielaco l.r
JO A.M.
7 IV a. M.
7 on r tt.
IM NINO (.'Altri ON OOliKN IIOI'TK
Pullman Buffet Sleepers.
a an
Second-Class Stooping Cars
Attached to all through Iralnt
KoHKIintlt MAIL (lull))
i :uia.
I H A.
h 'i r.
l.v
l.r
Ar
I'orllaud Ar
Oregoni'liy l.v
Hoaetuirg l.r
1 1 m f. at
I n r. a
1 7 tilt. N
Meal Hole Oivialon
8KTWKEN I-OHTI.ASD A N II (0RVALUH.
Mall Train, I'ally (Klcept Hiui.l.v.l
7 M.M. "f " l.r Korilaml ' Ar fMri
la i'irn, Ar Corvallie . I i r at
Al Alhanr and ;orvallla eonneel with iralt.
of Oregon and Pacific llallroa.l.
t r.
7 i'.r. m
Kapreaa Train lallv (Ktcenl Hunday)
I
l.r
Ar
I'ortland Ar
McMlnnrllle l.v
IHIt.
THR0UCH TICKETS
TO ALL POINTS IM TlIK
K AHTKM.t MTATKH. CANADA AND Kl'KOPK
Can be ohialiird a Inwvat ralei from L B
M.Hira, Agent, Oregon City.
H Kuril LKH. R. I'. HOOKKH,
Manager. Aaa I 0. V. and Pa at. Agent.
FA 1.1.4 CITY I.OIXiKOK A O r. W.
Meeta every Haturday evening of earh month
In A. o I'. W hall 7th ht. All eolnurning
hretlireu eoidlally Invited to attend
T. K. UAI I.T, M. W.
(.to CaLirr, Kccorder.
FOI'NTAIN HOMK rn So. I.
Kegulat meellng a.-aon, Wed ne. lav In each
monili at engine Iioimc, eaat ,,v Main tttcel,
lietueen Hevelilh nml Klghlll.
J. W,MKWART, Hee. II HTtAiailT. F'nn
M. I. yrifiN. Fiiremau.
Portland-Cowlitz
River Route, via.
WILLAMETTE SLOUGH
JoBeph Kellogg Trans. Co.
STR. JOSEPH KELLOGG leaves
Kelso Monday, Wednesday and
Friday, at 6 A. M. Leaves Port
land, Tuesday, Thursday and
Saturday at 7 A. M.
STR. NORTH WEST Leaves Port
land Monday, Wednesday and
Friday for Kelso and Upper Cow
litz river points, returning the
following days.
This is the onlv direct route tn
reach all Cowlitz river points.
WM. R. IIOLMAN, Agent.
Taylor Street Dock, Portland, Or.
ADMINIHTKATOKTJ NOTICK.
Nollee It herehy given that the County Court
for Clackainaa county, Oregon, titling In pro
hale, dlii, on the Will day of Auguat, I Ml, ap
point me at ailminlatratiir of the ealate of
Cliarlea Hiiunell, deceatird. AH pcrtiuu having
nlalnit agaliiat the tald ealate will preaent tlicm
to me on or hefore aix moutha, al the nfllc of
W. C. Johntoii, Oregoa City, duly verified ac
cording to law.
bated al Oregon City, Oregon, on the loth day
of Octolwr, 1KM. W. T. HuniiRi.b,
10-Itll 10 Adtnlulxrator.
KOTK K OF FINAL 8KTTI.KMICNT.
Nollee la herehy given, that I htve filed my
Dual report in the matter ol the eatate nl Krauk
W Cautpbell, deceated. In the County Court of
t'lackamat county, Oregon, and the court hat
appointed Heccniher ad MM, at the hour nf ten
o clock A. M. aaa day and time for the hearing
nf tald report and lor the tettleineut ol tald ea
tate, HA II A II A. CAM Filial,,
Adni'x ol tald Katate.
II. E. CROftR, Atl'y for Eatate 11-2:11-30
MKAUK KKI.IKK COHI'4, No. ID. DEI'AKT-
MKNT OK OKKUoN.
.Mrt. M. I I'llaliiiry . . . I'realdent
Mrt. V. I. Cochrane, - . . Treaaurer.
Mra. J. It. Harding, . - Heeretary.
Meen on "rat and third Tiiea.layt of each
month Hi K, of p. lHll. Memhera of coriit
from ahmad, cordially welcomed.
1. 8. & I CO.
E. McNeill, Receiver.
TO THE
ERST
Gives tho choice of
TWO TRANSCONTINENTAL
ROUTES
VIA
VIA
SPOKANE
Minneapolis
ST. PAUL.
DENVER
OMAHA
AMI
Kansas City.
MEADE. 1'OHT, No 'J. tl A. H UKVAHT.MKNT
OK OHKOON.
Meeta flral Monday of each month, at K. nf
V. Hall, Oregon City. Vlalllng cunradet made
welcome.
DA VII) MeAKTlll'R, Commander.
Ma. William, Adjutant
Low Rates to all
Eastern Cities.
SONS Of VETF.HANlt.
V ri Hub,.. .,. ar.. , . ...
........ .,.,. Ft .,. In, nava-in every nrat
aml liilrd riiurailay evening of each month, at
W. r. Johnton, Captain: 11. 8 Helomr. K croc
tentative Dlv KiieHinpinenl; O, o. Wood, lat
l.lenleiia lit aloii.. U' I..1. l.u ... ...I tl
-. , .. ... n ,,nii,, i.ieiiieoiini -
j. a iieriuaii, itt ai'rgeaiit.
Iti'TTK r'urvviiuik'nii w.. "no n
.... n .i.ini.'ir., ,iu n,, r, m ,
Meett at their hall In Maniiiam, aecond Hat-
, .. ,,, n (v , iu. IBII1UI
memliertnlwayi welcome.
i, c jjn.t, J, It, WHITE,
Secretary Matter,
NOTICE OP APPOINTMENT,
Notice la herehy given, that lleny Hcheel hat
heen appointed by the Hrm. Oordon K. Ilayet,
Judge of the County Court of Clackumat county,
Oregon, admliilttrator with the will anneicd of
liana Henry dnhael, drceaaed. All pertont
having clalmi agalnat aald eatate are notllled to
preaent them duly verified to the tald tdinlnla
trator at George, Oregon, within tlx mniithl
frvm the date of thla notice.
IIKNhY HCHEEL, Adtn'r,
Oko. L Story, All y for Adin'r
Dated Nov 1, mi. 1 11-2:11-80
THE BON TON.
Main Street, near Fifth,
Jos. Schlitz Brewing Co.'g Mil
waukee beer on draught.
IMPORTED AND
DOMESTIC
WINES AND
LIQUORS
All the Best Brands of Cigars.
CLACKAMAS I.0D0E, No. IW, A 0. V W
Meeta tlrat and third Monday In each month,
al straight'. Hall, Vlalllng hrethern welcome.
C. K. I'KAtg g, HoLCOMIl,
Reo. M. W.
COUTMHIA HOOK AND LADDER CO.
Meet, nrtt KrKlay of taoh month tt
roiiiiiniii engine nuiite. CHt. athky, Prct,
C.B Pillow, Heo'y. CM ItiTjta. f'rm
CATARACT HOSE CO. No. 2.
Moctt aecond Tuetday of each month at Cat-
ract Engine hnuae. W, H. Howgi.L.Prea
O. II. llartTow, Seo'r. 1. W. 0'COMMgi.L, K'rn
MOLALLA ORANOE, NO. 0, P. nf II.
Meet, at their hall at Wright'. Ilrldgeonthe
aecond Saturday of each month at 10 a. m
Eellnw member, made welcome.
NkLtoN, Matter.
E If. CoopgR. Sec,
F COMPANY, FIHHT REGIMENT, O. N, 0
Armory, Third and Main. Kegnlar drill night
Monday. Regular hiitlueu meeting!, flrtt
Monday of each month.
omi.'gfta.
U L. Plckon., - - Second Llouuinaut
OCEAN STEAMERS
Leave Portland every five tlnys for
SAN FRANCISCO.
at
For full details call on or
dresH, W. II. IIURLBUUT,
Gen. PiiHsengor Aent,
Portland, Or.
WAHNER (IKAN'JE, No. 117, P. of II
Meet fourth Haturday of each month, at'tholr
hall lu New Era. David McArtliur. Matter
Mra. May Waidrou, Hec'y
P If you are interestedjn
f AclvertiniiiK i
ft1 you ought to lo a sub- i
j scriher ot Phintkuh' Ink: 4
a journal for advertisers, i
PrlnterH' Ink
is issued weekly and is
filled with contributions
and helpful suggestions
from tho brightest minds
in tho advertising busi
ness.
PrinterH Ink
costs only two dollars a
year. A sample copy will
be sent on receipt of five
cents.
ADDRESS
PHINTEKM INK,,'
10 Spituat) St., - rUui York